by JA Lafrance
The dumbass got a piece of dental floss and wrapped it around my prick then the nozzle to the hose. “See, I told you. Now I quadruple…NO! I ten times dog dare you.”
“Fine,” I dragged out with a huff. Sobriety only lasted a split second before I did the stupidest thing. “Wait!” I stepped back, a brilliant idea popping into my head. “Let me put it in first, and then you can turn it on.” See? Genius.
The tip fit, and as I slid my dick in, the fit was snug, but not so small that I couldn’t slide in. Sadly, that was where my luck ran out. Chuck flipped on the power switch, my cock was yanked further into the tube, and then one of my balls followed. It felt as if it was being ripped off, and I screamed loud, piercing, and high-pitched. If I didn’t know better, I’d say a five-year-old girl possessed me and just had her candy taken away. “Turn it off! Turn it off!” He did, but I couldn’t get the tube to disengage, and it hurt like a mother fucker! “Call 9-1-1,” I cried.
I thought back to when I was four and believed I’d lost my penis. Maybe this time, I really would.
Lucas
When I got the call that someone was screaming and that it was bloodcurdling, I turned on my lights and rushed to the scene. I kind of expected a gruesome murder scene, but that was not what waited for me.
The apartment was empty save for the one lone person lying on his side completely naked. The only thing adorning his body was one vacuum hose. Was he fucking the machine? His dick was caught, and when he lifted his head to see who had come in, he screamed again. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the amount of pain he was in because it was hard to miss how things hanging outside the hose were starting to turn slightly purple, and not in a good way.
I stood there flabbergasted for a minute before his piercing scream broke through the shock. I swallowed my words and my errant thoughts and moved to his side. Thankfully, the vacuum was off, but the guy had a death grip on the base of it. “I’m Officer Lucas Gambit. Wh-What happened?” I pretended that my voice didn’t crack. Now that I was closer, I could see how bad it was, and all I could think was FUUUUUCK! It pained me to see his predicament.
“Does it really matter?” he snapped and lifted his head, his stunning blue eyes meeting mine. “I just need this fucking thing off!”
I reached out, and he screeched, “Don’t touch it!”
Dragging my hand across my face, I used my other hand to reach for my radio and call for paramedics and fire department. I wasn’t trying to embarrass him, but this went beyond any training I’d ever received.
“Okay, the fire department is on their way with a bus. Is there anything I can do to help? Do you want to tell me how this happened?” I was almost afraid to ask, but I needed to know, although I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to report this.
“Alcohol,” he groaned, and I almost laughed. Wasn’t alcohol the cause a lot of the time?
“What’s your name?”
“Benji Roberts,” he said through gritted teeth. I didn’t blame him, but if I could keep him talking, maybe I could get his mind off the current situation and the fact his cock and more had been sucked into a vacuum.
“How old are you, Benji?”
He hissed in pain before he answered, “Twenty-four.”
I thought he was younger. Perfect tanned skin, beach blond hair, and blue eyes that showed every emotion and more that he was experiencing. When I’d asked, I thought he would say something like nineteen, not because alcohol led to his current situation, but he seemed younger to me. “Anyone I can call for you? Your girlfriend or someone?”
“No girlfriend because I go for the D.”
My heart did not just squeeze and speed up hearing that. It couldn’t. I cleared my throat as I looked out the window and silently begged the fire department to hurry. Didn’t they know this was an emergency? “Boyfriend, then?”
“No. He was an asshole, not together anymore.”
“Family, friends?”
“Sister. Call my sister, Emily.”
“Do you have her number?”
“Actually, don’t call her. I don’t want to hear anything about common sense and my lack of it.”
Again, I almost laughed, but I held myself back. “Okay, I won’t call her, but is there anyone else I can call for you?”
His head dropped, and he let out a long rush of air he’d been holding for a while. “No, no one. I’ve got no one.” He almost sounded defeated with his shoulders slumped and his face hidden in the shadow of his hair.
I wanted to reach out and hold him, to tell him that he did have someone even if he didn’t think he did, but that was probably the worst thing I could do. “Nah, you aren’t alone. I’m here.”
Barking with laughter, he shook his head, but soon, he was groaning in pain. “You’re here because someone decided to call Des Moines Police, which I’m grateful for since I can barely move an atom in my body without pain.”
“Atom?” Usually, when people said they couldn’t move something, they didn’t get down to atoms.
“Yes, the thing you’re made of, smaller than a molecule, but not the smallest particle known.”
I bit my bottom lip and nodded.
“Hey, Officer Gambit, what do you think they’re going to do?”
Grimacing, I released my own pent up breath and looked down at his trapped cock again, and if my own twitched, I ignored it. “They will probably cut the hose and then transport you to the ER since I don’t think that thing is coming off without help.”
“Yes, it needs help to come. Here lately, it’s been my hand,” he deadpanned.
My jaw dropped open, and all brain activity ceased momentarily. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before I finally managed, “At least your sense of humor is intact.”
“According to my sister, I don’t have one.” He chuckled softly, not moving one iota.
I would have answered him, but the fire department arrived and rushed in. I hadn’t even noticed them pulling up. “What do we got?” one of the paramedics asked.
“Benji Roberts, twenty-four, alcohol-induced accident,” I replied. The moment I finished, I heard a sharp intake of breath and worried it had been Benji, but it wasn’t. It had been both paramedics and one of the firemen. In fact, the big burly fireman crossed his legs and looked pained. I was right there with him.
“We’re going to need to get something that will cut through this before we can transport,” one of the paramedics stated, looking directly at the fireman. Big and burly ran out of there without another word, rushing to his big rig. There were plenty of other men standing outside of the apartment, and when he left, they came in to assess the situation and help where needed, but they weren’t expecting what they found.
After that, it was a flurry of activity. Benji screamed and passed out when they cut the hose. They got him on the gurney before he came to again, and they got him into the bus and speeding off toward the hospital in less time than it took them to get to the scene. I just hoped the docs could do something to help him.
Chapter Two
Benji
The ambulance ride was a blur, the emergency department rushed by, and before I knew it, I was out of surgery, and my dick had gained its freedom. Next time Chuck wanted to dare me to do something and then leave me to fend for myself, I’d kill him.
The weird thing was, through everything, I kept thinking about kind hazel eyes that almost looked more mossy than anything else. Officer Gambit had left an impression, and given the circumstances, that was saying something.
“Benji Roberts, what the hell were you thinking?” My sister, Emily, had arrived. Oh, lucky me, her fiancé, Cliff, lurked right behind her.
“What are you doing here? Don’t you know I’m an invalid?” Her glare told me how much she wanted to kill me in that single moment of time. “Before you swing, I will remind you that we are in a hospital, and getting arrested could wreak havoc on your wedding in three months.”
“Benjamin Riley Roberts,” she seethed. We
were total opposites, but I loved her. She was three months older than me and looked nothing like me, but we’d grown up together after our parents married. She was my sister, and I loved her because even though she may want to kill me, she’d still rushed to the hospital, showing she cared. Therefore, I would ignore the three name thing for now. I hated my middle name.
Glancing over her shoulder, I said, “Hi, Cliff. I take it she got the call?”
“We were at the cake testers, and your parents called. The hospital called them,” he explained on the verge of laughter. I could see it on his face and in the way his lips twitched. He was perfect for my sister and had saved her from herself almost a year ago.
“Anything good?”
“I liked the almond one with amaretto buttercream. It was soaked with—”
“Will you two shut up about the cake?” Emily shouted, and a nurse appeared at her side. “Sorry,” she apologized after being scolded like a child.
Emily was a people pleaser except when it came to me. And me? I couldn’t care less what people thought of me. I graduated high school at fifteen, got my first bachelor’s at seventeen with a double major, my second at eighteen, and two master’s at twenty. Now, I was working on my Ph.D. in biochemistry, and it was taking a little longer to get, but when I decided to attend law school after my last degree, only to drop out, it had put me behind schedule. My sister always called me a professional student, and I had to admit, I liked school. The structure, the people. I didn’t have to fear the unknown; I could simply be me.
“Tell me what happened,” Emily demanded. I heard the slight tremor in her voice, and I knew she was upset.
Taking in a deep breath, I released it slowly. “I got drunk with the guys, and we were daring each other to do stupid shit. Chuck tripped over the vacuum and dared me to put my dick in it. We measured and everything, but I think his measurements might have been off. We had to use dental floss. A lot of tequila may have been involved. Jose Cuervo is not my friend, no matter what that damn song says. I think I currently have the most interesting story out of Des Moines, Iowa. What do you think?” I was trying to lighten the air in the room and calm my sister down with a joke, but she still looked on the verge of bursting into tears. “And I met my soulmate. He’s a cop. He’s the one who tried to save me but had to call the fire department because he didn’t have the right tools. Well, he has the right one for me, but not the right one to get my dick out of a vacuum. Oh, and he doesn’t know that we are soulmates yet, so keep that on the DL.” Now, I was just rambling.
Cliff snorted. “Dude, take a breath. Are you still drunk?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged and began to chuckle.
The cop really wasn’t, but that didn’t mean I didn’t want to have fun with him. No one could keep up with me for too long, though. They tended to get bored and hate the fact I was smarter than them. Some resented me. The whole drunk incident was not the norm. Usually, I holed myself up in the lab or in my room at my parents’ house. What was the saying? “Too smart for your own good?” I really was, but I’d tried dumbing myself down, and that had been a mistake. People just weren’t for me. It was better if they were only around to scratch an itch and then moved on. I didn’t even know why I was joking about the cop being my soulmate.
“Benji…” my sister whined a little, her voice catching as she moved to the side of my bed. She knew me better than anyone, and she understood my struggles. She may not be as smart as me as far as studies and books, but she was brilliant when it came to living life. I wish I had a fraction of her gumption. She was strong, even when she didn’t think she was.
“I’m fine, Em. I promise.”
She frowned, her brown eyes practically glaring at me. “If you were with Chuck, why didn’t he call? What do you mean a cop tried to save you? Where the fuck was Chuck? Whose place were you at?”
“Chuck’s place and everyone left before the cop could get there. The party got slightly out of control, and I think some of them were underage. We invited our old frat; you know how frat parties can be. We were celebrating Jack’s passing of the LSAT. Took him long enough.” I tried to play it off, but I could tell she wasn’t buying it.
She never really liked my best friend. “Ch-Chuck’s? They left you?” Her voice was shrill and high-pitched, not to mention loud, and mimicked nails on a chalkboard.
“I didn’t know she could sound like that,” Cliff commented, grimacing.
“Only when Chuck is involved. He told everyone at school that they were an item and into BDSM. They weren’t even dating. He’s done a few other things, too, like getting me arrested on my eighteenth birthday,” I told him.
“Are you sure he’s a friend?” Cliff asked.
“Oddly enough, when I need someone, he’s there. He’s a good friend even though he’s a moron sometimes.” It was true. No matter what, he was always there for me, and always seemed to know what I needed.
“A moron? That’s all you have to say about—” I truly believed that Emily stood on the precipice of completely losing it, but she was interrupted before she could go much further.
“I’m sorry. I can come back later if that would be better,” the new person stated nervously.
I was shocked and certain it showed on my face. Officer Gambit had walked in and began speaking over my sister. Had she ever clammed up so quickly before? I didn’t think it had happened since she was eight and I was five.
“Emily, we should probably see what we need to do to get your brother discharged.” Cliff pulled my sister toward the door. They disappeared less than a second later.
“Thanks for saving me…again,” I joked with a grin. His dark hair was cut close, and I recalled how well he filled out his uniform, but jeans and a tight T-shirt looked even better. Firm muscles, a shadow of a goatee, slightly crooked teeth that I noticed when he smiled, and those sparkling hazel eyes. If I allowed myself, I could fall for him.
“The sister you didn’t want me to call?”
“My parents didn’t have the same aversion to calling her, especially since they are out of town.” I leaned back to rest my head on my pillow. “The hospital called them, they called Emily, and she showed up ready to defend my honor or ream me a new one. I’m not exactly sure. Her fiancé, Cliff, was with her because they were at a cake tasting for their wedding when they got the call.”
“You don’t like him?” he asked, stepping closer.
“I actually do. He’s good for her, which is more than I can say about her ex.” I tilted my head to the side. “What are you doing here?” While I was happy to see him again, I was a little surprised that he showed up to the hospital twenty-four hours after he shut the door on the ambulance.
“Oh…uh…Honestly?”
“Nope, I’m hoping you are here to lie to me and tell me I’m going to be arrested for indecent relations with a home appliance,” I deadpanned, attempting to keep a straight face.
“Not against the law as far as I know, but who knows what kind of crazy law has been written into the books that isn’t observed any longer. Like did you know you can’t wound a fish with a firearm in Wyoming? In Iowa, you can’t pass margarine off as butter. It’s a misdemeanor.”
Lucas
“It’s a misdemeanor.” I couldn’t shut up. I didn’t know why I decided to show up here on my day off. But when I heard from one of the paramedics that Benji was going into surgery to have the hose removed, I wanted to check on him. “How are you feeling?” I finally questioned.
“Sore. Bruised dick syndrome is a very real thing. Or is that broke dick? I mean, it’s not broken. I’ve been assured that I can still use it, but it is a little bruised and very swollen.” He cleared his throat and turned his head to stare out the window for a moment before shifting his gaze back to me. “I’m okay. Thanks for helping me yesterday. My friends…they were…” He stopped.
“They left you?” For whatever reason, I thought he might have acted stupid of his own accord.
“You
sound like my sister. They were afraid of what would happen to them. We had been drinking most of the day, and things got a little out of hand.”
“Sounds like it did. Is that…uh…normal for you?”
“No, not at all. I’m usually surrounded by beakers and chemicals. But we were celebrating.” He licked his lips, and my eyes followed the movement. “Do you normally check in on all of the people you have to save?”
Grinning, I sat down in the chair beside his bed and leaned back. “I try to. I like the people I protect to know I’m there for them, that it’s more than a job. Although, I have to say that I haven’t ever gotten a call quite like yours before.”
“And here I thought everyone was doing this, like getting a tattoo,” he guffawed.
I chuckled, too. “I’m really hoping it doesn’t catch on, or else there could be some unintentional eunuchs in the city.” His expression made me laugh some more. “So, how are you actually feeling?” I asked as soon as I could.
He gazed up at the ceiling, no longer focusing on me. His neck was long, his Adam’s apple bounced up and down when he swallowed. He had a slight shadow covering his cheeks and chin from not shaving. It was hard to imagine him surrounded by beakers instead of sand and waves. His blue eyes slid shut. “I’m sore, but I’m okay. Just grateful I got to the hospital in time. I’ve learned my lesson, and I am now afraid of vacuums. My penis wasn’t the issue. It was that the suction had pulled part of my ball sac into the tube, too. I’ve never felt pain like that before.”
A shiver ran through my body, thinking about that. I never wanted to imagine what he went through and never ever wanted to feel agony like that in my life. I’d been shot before when a pimp got pissed off that one of his girls decided to get clean and leave the life. I’d been called because she dialed 9-1-1 requesting help, terrified of what her pimp would do to her. He decided to shoot first and ask questions later. Thankfully, we were able to get him in cuffs without any further incident. He surrendered as soon as he realized he was outgunned and outmanned. That was three years ago and required ten stitches—only a graze.