Teresa: Everybody Loves Large Chests (Vol.5)

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Teresa: Everybody Loves Large Chests (Vol.5) Page 16

by Neven Iliev


  “... Fine, whatever,” the shapeshifter gave in after a few moments of silence. “Do what you want, just make sure your antics don’t get in my way.”

  “Thou art most gracious,” Ambrosia deepened her bow.

  Boxxy only passively listened to the heartfelt speech. Halfway through her inane babbling, the monster realized that blaming her was a waste of time and energy. It had briefly forgotten just how bad this dryad was at lying and scheming in the first place. She was far too honest and naive to even consider sabotage or subterfuge. After calming down and thinking things through, Boxxy realized that if it wanted to find the culprit responsible for this anomalous Rank Up, it needed only to look in a mirror.

  Reggie, the resident expert on doppelganger physiology, stated that their kind were prone to mutation. That implied it wouldn’t be that odd if a new or rare variant of the species popped up seemingly out of nowhere. Such things were usually brought about as a result of one’s environment, and Boxxy had spent a significant amount of time interacting with dryads. It talked to them, made deals with them, dwelled within their trees, and even gorged on their nectar. Considering its recent behavior, its evolution into a plant-monster hybrid had most likely been brought on as a result of its own actions.

  Besides, this wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. The inborn ability to transform flesh into different kinds of vegetation through shapeshifting was undoubtedly going to be useful. Boxxy just needed to discover its limits and learn what sort of new forms it could assume. It also needed to consider the new racial Skill that came with its new subspecies.

  [Phytokinesis]

  The ability to manipulate vegetation through the power of one’s mind.

  Requirements: Creeper variant

  Type: Sustained

  Activation Time: Instant

  Cost: Variable

  Range: 5 Meters

  [Effects]

  Grants control over targeted vegetation within range.

  Consumes MP based on the size and weight of targets under the effects of this Skill.

  The strength, speed, and range of control exerted by this Skill are amplified by MNT and AFF.

  Increases the effectiveness of this Skill by 10% per Level of this Skill.

  It would seem that the telekinetic potential of adult doppelgangers had manifested itself in a curious way. Boxxy didn’t know whether to be happy about this or not. On one hand, it would have preferred the ability to move everything with its mind instead of merely plants. At the same time, the narrow focus of this Skill implied that the power it could exert was more potent than its more versatile counterparts. This common sense had been drilled into the monster’s body throughout its life of violence and mayhem. However, Boxxy couldn’t know for sure whether that logic applied to Phytokinesis. It simply had no frame of reference. So, for the moment, it stopped worrying about what could have been and graciously accepted this new ability that it bestowed upon itself, from itself, on behalf of itself.

  Gratuitous self-congratulations aside, the shapeshifter attempted putting its newly acquired Skill to the test. At first, it considered using it on its immediate surroundings but ultimately decided against it. ‘A good spot to practice plant control’ didn’t exist within its dungeon. There was, after all, only a single specimen of vegetation to be found in the monster’s lair, and it already had an owner. Admittedly, said owner was idiotic, gullible, and somewhat delusional, but nevertheless far too powerful for any single mortal to contend with.

  Since flexing its mental muscles didn’t seem feasible at the moment, Boxxy checked out its physical ones. It began by transporting itself to its treasury using the dungeon core’s Nexus Access, and for once had no intention of playing around. Granted that would still happen to some degree, but the main purpose of its visit was to test the limits of its physical strength. Before the Rank Up, it could lift roughly two hundred and seventy kilograms of valuables, which was about a fifth more than its body weight. Any more than that and its muscles and bones would begin screaming and creaking in pain as the massive load threatened to crush it flat. And now, even though it had gained hardly any mass, it could bear a load fifty kilograms heavier than its previous limit. It was a rough, unscientific experiment, but one that clearly demonstrated a marked increase in raw physical power.

  The next thing on Boxxy’s agenda was to test if its speed and stamina had increased, so it started running mad laps inside its treasury. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem that either of those parameters had improved. Either that or the change was too minute to notice, in which case it wouldn’t make a difference. Still, the exercise had served as a good warm up. In Boxxy’s personal experience, the best way to adapt to a new body was to thoroughly put it through its paces.

  With that in mind, the monster confirmed that its vitally-important shapeshifting abilities weren’t negatively impacted by its new subspecies. Flesh, bone, teeth, and metal were molded with the usual speed, consistency, and accuracy. Its newly acquired vegetative options were atrociously slow and clumsy by comparison, but that was only temporary. Boxxy felt confident that, with enough study and practice, it could eventually add trees, shrubs, grasses, flowers, and vines to its already impressive repertoire. Ultimately, ‘Plant-shifting’ was no different from any of the other transformations it had attempted for the first time.

  Boxxy could already envision a number of practical applications once it mastered this new ability. One such possibility was brought on by its new subspecies, the full designation of which was ‘Creeper (Hylt)’ according to its Status. From what it could tell, creepers were doppelgangers that adopted traits from certain species of vegetation. In Boxxy’s case, it was related to the almighty hylt tree, allowing it to easily convert its flesh into Ironbark. This unique material’s toughness was equal to first-grade steel at only a fraction of the weight. Plus, it was much easier to move around in compared to Metal Mimicry. Not to mention, it was completely free in terms of MP consumption. In short, Ironbark was the superior defensive option when compared to the monster’s usual trick of turning its skin to steel.

  However, the material wasn’t all that useful when it came to offense. Boxxy seemed incapable of shaping its Ironbark into a keen edge. Even though it created massive sword-arms out of it, they might as well have been oversized butter knives. It would appear that, though the stuff excelled at absorbing and diffusing impacts, it wasn’t rigid enough to serve as a blade. This immensely puzzled the creeper. Didn’t the dryad quintuplets back at the fort use Ironbark for their SHUNK-y ambush? Come to think of it, elvish craftsmen sometimes worked with so-called Hardened Ironbark. Perhaps the plant matter had to be processed in some way to make it viable for weaponry. Boxxy shelved the matter for the moment to revisit at a later date. Currently, it would stick with the tried-and-tested Metal Mimicry approach whenever it needed to improvise some weapons.

  The last thing Boxxy wanted to figure out about its new self was that odd craving for sunlight it experienced immediately after waking up. The sensation had already passed, but it couldn’t help ponder what had brought it on. Admittedly, it didn’t seem that big of a mystery. It had become part plant with the ability to sprout branches and leaves, which implied it could now use sunlight for sustenance. Curious as to what that would feel like, the shapeshifter ascended to the vast canopy at the very top of Ambrosia’s tree.

  Upon arriving in the dense, foliage-ridden microcosm, Boxxy was momentarily taken aback by the absurd amount of webbing everywhere. It would appear that its arachnid familiar had built quite the nest up there by utilizing her lavender-colored Demon Silk. Drea produced the material in question through the various things she ate, so it wouldn’t disappear after a certain amount of time like her magically-conjured webs. This allowed the stalker demon to construct a sprawling lair with clearly defined floors, ceilings, walls, pillars, and other building-like elements. She even took the time to shape wads of Demon Silk into furniture like beds, armchairs, and hammocks. It didn’t seem like Drea actuall
y used any of it judging by the thin layer of debris and filth that clung to everything.

  Boxxy, for its part, didn’t care about any of that. It came up here to taste the sun, and this overindulgent web-house was in the way. It ripped, burned, and cut its way through as it climbed higher and higher through the webbed-up foliage. Eventually, it made its way onto a relatively flat branch that was receiving plenty of sunlight through a gap in the brush. The nearby scorch marks revealed it as the same place the monster had used to conduct the Ritual of Unholy Wealth. There weren’t many spots within Ambrosia’s canopy that had both stable footholds and a clear view of the sky, and this was the only one Boxxy knew of.

  Now that it was here, it stood in the midday sun’s golden rays and willed a leafy bush to sprout from its back and shoulders. It felt a bit silly at first, but then it experienced a warm, invigorating sensation that spread through its twigs as the creature experienced photosynthesis for the first time. The monster had no idea how it worked or even what the process was called. It didn’t need to, either. As far as Boxxy was aware, plants liked to ‘eat’ sunlight, and now that it was doing it, it could understand why those immature dryads bickered over it so much.

  The sun was tasty.

  Hold on, it realized something. Didn’t I have something important to do?

  Indeed, it had been so preoccupied testing its new limits that it had forgotten something quite vital.

  “Snack,” it called out telepathically.

  “Oh, Master! You’re finally awake!” the succubus replied enthusiastically. “Am I to understand we shall be launching operation ‘Ruin Reggie’s Life’ within the hour?”

  Xera never liked how that self-important prick dared to think himself her master’s superior. His apparent betrayal regarding the all-important Rank Up process was, in her completely unbiased opinion, absolutely unforgivable.

  “Not just yet,” Boxxy informed her. “Just give me a status report for now.”

  “As you wish, Master. I assumed Keira’s guise once morning came as per your orders and have been filling in for you since then. I pretended to feel down and contemplative due to a ‘terrible dream’ so as to avoid interacting too much with Rowana. She bought it at first, but she is starting to suspect something is up.”

  Indeed, just as Boxxy feared, Snack couldn’t stand in as Keira for extended periods of time while having regular contact with the elf. The mysterious ability called ‘woman’s intuition’ was not to be trifled with.

  “Where are you two right now?” asked Boxxy.

  “We’re in Rowana’s house, Master. The elf is currently sitting at her desk working out some sort of budget. I’m in the room with her making myself look busy with your Artificer tools.”

  “... You’re not trying to make a mechanized penis again, right?”

  “Of course not, Master,” she calmly denied the accusation. “That one time was just me teasing Fizzy a bit, I wasn’t being serious. After all, the only thing that could truly satisfy my hopelessly perverted soul is my one and only Master.”

  Boxxy let out an exasperated sigh. It could practically see the succubus winking at it with a demure smile upon her face. It was starting to understand Fizzy’s unfavorable stance towards ‘meatbags,’ especially her contempt of their ‘disgustingly inefficient mating rituals.’

  “Any abnormalities or noteworthy events happen during my absence?” it changed the subject.

  “Nothing in particular, Master. Although there was something that caught my attention while I was rooting through the elf’s desk last night. It was a partially filled out requisition order for Honeydew on behalf of her clinic.”

  “Hmm, how curious.”

  The mention of that particularly shiny liquid instantly piqued Boxxy’s interest. Come to think of it, that substance was supposedly banned in the Empire yet legal in the Republic. It wasn’t on sale in any of the shops Keira had visited, so it had almost forgotten that little tidbit. It made a mental note to casually ask Rowana about it while it was still in the city. If anyone knew what was special about Honeydew, it would be an Alchemist who apparently worked with the stuff.

  “Good work,” it commended her.

  “I am unworthy of such praise, Master. Rather, I must insist that you punish me for my incompetence by making me choke on your-”

  “Just shut up and keep the elf busy. Be ready to swap in an hour or so.”

  “... Yes, Master.”

  Seeing as there was no emergency, the monster decided it could afford to take things a bit slow. It climbed down from the top of the tree and briskly returned to the dungeon core platform at the heart of its lair. It looked around for Ambrosia, but it would appear the dryad had disappeared somewhere. This was a bit vexing. Though Boxxy’s latest Rank Up hadn’t starved it as badly as the previous ones, it had left the monster feeling ‘a wee bit peckish,’ as the elves liked to say. The monster figured this was a good opportunity to sample the fruits of the dryad’s culinary training. Her absence was therefore displeasing though hardly an issue considering it could reach her anywhere at any time.

  [Boxxy: Ambrosia, did you prepare my meal like I requested?]

  [Ambrosia: Forgive me, milord. In all the excitement I almost forgot about it. It is indeed ready, although I will need to reheat it.]

  [Boxxy: Does it necessarily have to be heated?]

  [Ambrosia: Indeed. Most of the dishes I have prepared display superior flavor while they are warm.]

  [Boxxy: Alright. Then do what you have to do and bring it to me ASAP.]

  [Ambrosia: I do not understand. Does milord wish to sample mine sap as well?]

  [Boxxy: No. ASAP is short for ‘as soon as possible.’ It has nothing to do with sap.]

  [Ambrosia: Understood. In that case I shall bring thee thy meal with utmost haste.]

  The shapeshifter waited with as much patience it could muster as the dryad readied everything. She bent her interior bark in the shape of a large dining table and a fancy high-back chair. Boxxy took the hint and seated itself. Ambrosia had yet to bring out the actual dishes, so the monster took this opportunity to once more temper its expectations. Optimism only led to disappointment, so it tried not to get too excited. That said, this was a meal prepared from the first-rate ingredient Claws had secured, so Boxxy ended up salivating in anticipation despite itself.

  Ambrosia reappeared after about fifteen minutes. She walked over to Boxxy’s seat in a prim and proper manner, her hands crossed in front of her belly and a welcoming smile on her face. Numerous green vines grew rapidly out of the floor at her passage like a grand wave of greenery. Atop this cascade of vegetation were eight extra-large covered plates which were smoothly and securely passed from one plant to the next while keeping pace with the dungeon master. It was a culinary procession that even Boxxy found entertaining to watch, though it would have preferred if she skipped the theatrics altogether.

  By the time the dryad’s performance was over, her dishes were carefully laid out on the table. With a graceful flick of her wrists and a snappy twist of her vines, she presented every one of her specially prepared recipes to an increasingly excited Boxxy.

  The first course was the appetizer, which consisted of a large plate of bite-sized bits of raw thigh meat lovingly wrapped in crispy, slightly charred skin. Boxxy was an immediate fan despite their small size. Next was a blood-soup with lightly boiled facial features such as noses, ears, and lips. The third dish was a thick steak carved out of neck muscle marinated in a spicy, blood-based sauce. The fourth course was a quartet of human hearts with ground liver stuffing and a hint of sweet-and-sour herb flavoring. Number five was an order of nectar-basted human ribs that were incredibly savory and practically oozing with juices. The sixth dish was a slow-roasted human torso stuffed with shavings of arm and leg flesh. For dessert, Ambrosia had prepared a snowy-white eyeball-and-nectar pudding that was so delicious it nearly drove Boxxy to tears. The fact it was served in a pearly white skull instead of a bowl or plate made it all
the more enjoyable. The last plate was a serving of deep-fried bone chips. The pleasant crunching sensation and the hint of human fat mixed in with the slightly salty flavor was a very satisfying finish to the lavish meal. As for drink, Boxxy regularly availed itself of fresh nectar directly from the source throughout the meal.

  “How was it, milord?” Ambrosia asked once the feeding frenzy concluded.

  Boxxy was currently sitting in the chair in its favored chest-bound form. In fact, it was an improvement on the original design since the tightly-bound planks of wood hiding its true self were actual timber.

  “Perfect,” came the utterly content reply. “Absolutely perfect.”

  The dryad’s somewhat nervous smile turned into a pleasant grin. She pressed her quivering lips together, struggling to quell the enormous joy welling up inside her. She began quickly cleaning up, eager to go somewhere private where she could squeal, jump, and giggle without disturbing the tranquility of her ‘house guest.’

  And ‘tranquility’ was the most accurate way to describe Boxxy’s current mental state. It couldn’t believe that wonderfully orchestrated symphony of flavor was created by a creature that usually ate nothing but dirt, water, and sunlight. Each dish had a unique flavor, texture, and consistency that made it nearly impossible to compare them. It was almost as if each one was in its own league of deliciousness. Boxxy could spend the next three months struggling to pick out its absolute favorite, and even then the results would be inconclusive. If pressed for answers then and there, it would rule its favorite a four-way-tie between the bone chips, the stuffed hearts, the juicy ribs, and the eye pudding.

  It wasn’t just the flavor, either. The sheer amount of meat, bone, and blood that Ambrosia had prepared was enough to piece together five, maybe even six people. It was honestly a wonder it all came from a single human. Or rather, it was outright impossible for someone to cut out so many vital organs and large chunks of flesh without killing the source, even with the Waters of Life. Had the dryad procured additional ingredients while it slept? Did she recruit Claws’ help to get them? And for that matter, did she use the stalker to refine her recipes since the demons’ tastes were so close to the shapeshifter’s?

 

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