Teresa: Everybody Loves Large Chests (Vol.5)

by Neven Iliev

  [You have created a Custom Electric Charge Pack of Masterwork quality.]

  [Level up!]

  [Congratulations, you are now a Level 59 Arclight Artificer! DEX +2. WIS +2. PER +2.]

  [Proficiency level increased. Tick Counter is now Level 7. INT +3. WIS +3.]

  [Proficiency level increased. Electrical Expertise is now Level 4. INT +6. END +2.]

  The golem couldn’t help but beam a dazzling smile. That array of notifications left zero doubt in her mind – the device in front of her was her finest work to date. It was quite impressive considering this was the first time she’d ever put one of those things together. At least that’s what she told herself. In reality, this was her third charge pack, but the golem refused to acknowledge the first two since they were flawed products of her worthless, meatbag self. She didn’t know where those pieces of junk were nor did she particularly care. She was too busy basking in the afterglow of having just completed a Masterwork item.

  In all the excitement, the golem decided to push it further. Normally she would be more wary about taking that extra step since it could backfire in a major way. Worse still, whether the outcome was favorable or not was largely up to chance. However, for better or for worse, Fizzy was a follower of the God of Unpredictability, and the Paladin genuinely believed in his teaching that chances existed to be taken. So, without a hint of hesitation, the golem placed her hands upon the steel box and invoked her only active Artificer Skill.

  “Upgrade!”

  The charge pack shook and rattled quietly in Fizzy’s grip for a second, and then it was over.

  [Your Upgrade was a major success!]

  [Custom Electric Charge Pack durability increased by 5%.]

  [Custom Electric Charge Pack power output increased by 10%.]

  “Alright!” she cheered.

  “Nice one, Fizzy!” Plus echoed her sentiment.

  Eager to see exactly what Upgrade had done, the golem used Metallopathy to probe the device’s interior. The ability only allowed her to sense the metal parts, but that was still most of them. Through it, Fizzy confirmed that two major changes had indeed taken place. First, the spots where the various components were welded together had become seamless. It was as if the whole thing was cast from a single lump of metal. Secondly, the magical circuit Fizzy had etched into that bronze half-tube had been slightly reconfigured.

  The golem studied the latter one in greater detail. The overall pattern of the mana-conductive material etched into the magic-resistant metal was unchanged except for a few lines that were moved to form more efficient connections. This revelation pleasantly surprised her. Though it proved her work wasn’t as flawless as she would’ve liked, it also showed where she could improve. The circuit’s alterations followed the idea of ‘path of least resistance’ to marginally increase its output without requiring more input. Fizzy was grateful for the hint, since she was still learning how to fully utilize those circuits.

  This insightful outcome was precisely why the Artificer rarely hesitated to use the Upgrade Skill on her lesser creations.

  [Upgrade]

  It is within an Artificer’s nature to tinker, whether for better or for worse.

  Requirements: Level 45 Artificer

  Type: Active

  Activation Time: 2 seconds

  Cost: 100 MP

  Range: Touch

  [Effects]

  Attempts to permanently improve any item of Masterwork or lesser Quality.

  This Skill cannot be used twice on the same item.

  This Skill can fail. Success rate depends on the Level of this Skill and the user’s knowledge regarding the target of this Skill.

  Unlike an enchantment imbuing an object with magic, Upgrade attempted to improve an item’s properties by optimizing small yet important aspects of its construction. It could be used on all sorts of things, including swords, armor, and tools, but it was ultimately an Artificer Skill that was most effective when used on gadgets and gizmos. Several other Artisan Jobs had similar abilities. For example, the Blacksmith equivalent was Reforge and the Alchemist version was Synthesize. Though they were available at different stages of their respective Jobs, they all had the same basic function of magically scrambling an item’s insides in the hope that it becomes better.

  However, these Skills shared two major downsides – they could only be used once per object, and they could fail. The latter part was scarier as it often led to defects rather than improvements. These flaws were sometimes permanent and impossible to fix. In the worst case scenario, a failed attempt could lower an item’s performance enough to downgrade its Quality rating. This outcome’s likelihood could be reduced but never eliminated. Thus, most craftsmen limited the use of such Skills to mass-produced items, and only the most confident among them dared to risk tarnishing a Masterwork article.

  Confidence wasn’t Fizzy’s issue. In fact, some might say her overinflated opinion of herself was the golem’s worst flaw. Regardless, even the self-absorbed construct recognized a magnificent stroke of luck when she saw one. Indeed, one couldn’t call her Upgrade’s result anything else. Not only did it power up her new weapon, but it also gave her a helpful hint for future reference. The outcome was everything she could have hoped for, so Fizzy wasted no time in expressing her sincere gratitude to the God of Ḭ̖̞͚͉̰̜́͝n҉̸̝̹͓ś҉ͅt̲͔̗͈̫͎̻͈͘͞ͅḁ͙͉͈̫̰p̸̪ͅr̛̲̟̺̬͕o͈̯͚̙͠b̢̢̖͍͍͇͡i̦̝̯͢͝ĺ̸̹̲̥̼̩͇͡i̟̰̤ṭ̭̺̝͔̝y҉̥̼͇̞̰̩͈͡.

  “… Huh, now that was just weird,” she muttered aloud.

  “What’s the matter, Fizzy?” Plus inquired.

  “There was a weird buzzing in my head when I was wrapping up the prayer.”

  “I didn’t hear anything though.”

  “Oh, well. It was probably just Gunther being Urkel. Now then, where was I?”

  Having fulfilled her religious duties, the pious Paladin grabbed the charge pack. She put it on like a backpack with the help of two rubber belts made of softened Bouncewood bark. The black straps formed a cross right between her pleasantly rounded chest ornaments. She did a few experimental movements and maneuvers, but as expected the pack barely budged from its spot. She had made it to perfectly fit her back without limiting her movements, after all.

  “Alright, let’s see how powerful this thing really is!”

  “Yeaaah!”

  After hyping herself up a bit, the golem reached behind her waist and turned a small dial on the device’s side with a trio of audible clicks. She went past the ‘stun’ and ‘shock’ settings and directly to ‘vaporize.’ The charge pack buzzed loudly as high voltage electricity ran across her frame. Fizzy stared at her fingers in wonderment, captivated by the bright blue arcs that jumped between them at random.

  This was also as intended. When she told Jessie earlier that she was making a charge pack for her weapon, she hadn’t made it clear that she was referring to her impeccable frame. Honestly, she didn’t even need that wrench considering her fists were just as deadly as any hammer, but she insisted on using the tool as a weapon. It gave her reach, leverage, and allowed for improvised projectile attacks when combined with Magnetize. More importantly, it allowed the golem to avoid getting soiled by the squishy filth that tended to squirt out of crushed meatbags. Some of it invariably splattered on her, but it was a lot less than if she were to pummel stuff to pulp with her bare hands.

  Speaking of that wrench, Fizzy excitedly ran over to where the tool rested against the wall and grasped it by the handle. The high-voltage current enveloped it in an instant as she held it up to her face, causing even larger arcs of electricity to bounce between the lump of red steel and her forehead. She gave it a trial swing that produced a rather satisfying *vooom* sound. She then lightly tapped the smithy’s floorboards.

  *BDZZT*

  The spot where metal met wood emitted a small puff of smoke as a large thorn-like scar instantaneously burned into it. Thankfully, Fizzy’s outfit fared much better. Her magmander-so
urced equipment was nigh-impervious to fire, and lightning was a similar enough elemental force that it barely did anything. Things would have been different if the electrical current running through the golem was magical in nature. Indeed, though magic was used to generate it, the energy itself was perfectly mundane. If that hadn’t been the case, it would rip her clothes to shreds and cause damage to Fizzy herself.

  Even then, it wouldn’t have caused much harm. Metal golems were naturally resistant to lightning since, unlike meatbags, they had no flesh to burn or hearts to stop. Without a magical charge to interfere with the construct’s internal mana circulation, an electrical current would simply run down the golem’s highly conductive outer plating and dissipate into the ground. The only real danger the charge pack posed to Fizzy was that it could theoretically heat her up to the point of causing damage if left on ‘vaporize’ for too long.

  With that in mind, the sparkling Artificer turned the dial to ‘stun.’ This setting would either incapacitate or seriously injure the average Level 30 adventurer or soldier. Tougher meatbags would require repeated jolts to achieve a similar result. She could always turn the voltage back up if she felt it was necessary, but ‘vaporize’ wasn’t intended for prolonged use. Potential self-harm aside, the setting rapidly exhausted the charge pack’s battery and could cause it to overheat and malfunction. As for the ‘shock’ setting, that was intended to painfully prod people and potentially subdue noncombatants. Fizzy had zero intentions of ever using it, but put it in there since those were the three standard configurations for Arclight Artificer devices.

  The golem kept playing around with her creation for a while longer. She smiled broadly as she watched little blue arcs leap between her fingers, her wrench, and literally anything else in the smithy. Much like how that blonde gnome had a fetish for explosions, Fizzy had always been captivated by the unbridled fury and terrifying beauty of lightning. She always dreamt of having that sort of power at her fingertips, and she was overwhelmed to have finally turned it into a reality. Admittedly, this was a bit more literal than what she originally imagined, but she wasn’t going to let a small technicality rain on her parade.

  As she idly swung her wrench through the air, however, Fizzy suddenly sensed a presence. She turned on reflex while swinging her charged weapon in a wide arc, stopping the electrified wrench mere millimeters from Keira’s smug expression. The golem sighed and switched off her charge pack.

  “I really wish you’d stop testing me,” Fizzy frowned.

  “Good to see you haven’t grown rusty while I was away,” the girl-shaped monster grinned.

  “Well, duh,” she rolled her eyes. “Mithril doesn’t rust. So, how are things on your end?”

  Earlier that day, Boxxy discreetly informed Fizzy that it would compare notes at a later time, so she more or less expected this visit. Especially since it was past midnight, and the vast majority of the camp was asleep. Of course, both Boxxy and Drea kept an eye out for anyone who may have been eavesdropping. Since no such interlopers were around, the shapeshifter abbreviated the events of the past week, relaying them to its shiniest minion. It focused on matters related to its unexpected Rank Up to a hylt creeper and the meeting and subsequent interactions with Reggie.

  All of this happened while the monster shamelessly groped the irresistibly shiny and inappropriately happy golem. Admittedly, ‘groping’ might have been too weak a word as it was rubbing as much of Keira’s slender proportions against those mithril plates as possible. Ideally, it would have given Fizzy a spit-polish by licking every nook and cranny of hers at once, but that sort of thing was a bit too high-profile. Besides, the former gnome was more than satisfied with the current level of attention. Towards the end of Boxxy’s explanation the two of them had wound up on the ground. The Paladin sat in what would have been Keira’s lap if her legs weren’t bending in weird places.

  “A secret doppelganger society, huh?” Fizzy idly remarked. “Have you learned how to tell them apart from other people yet?”

  “Sort of. I can kind of un-smell them, but it’s tricky.”

  The golem looked up at the wannabe-catgirl’s face with a somewhat puzzled look.

  “What in Rupert’s left sandal does ‘un-smell’ mean?”

  Plus shared her confusion, if her unspoken inquiry was any indication. However, Fizzy knew better than to openly question things that Boxxy said. Trying to decipher that thing’s inner thoughts was like attempting to measure the length of a sparrow by banging two rocks together. Not to mention she was pretty certain she needed a working nose to ‘un-smell’ something, which meant that she couldn’t help single them out anyway.

  “So are we going to crush them when we get back?” Fizzy moved the topic along.

  “We won’t. They can do things I can’t, and the opposite is also true. So, I’ve decided to cooperate with them unless they try something stupid or fail to deliver on a deal.”

  “Fair enough. What about this ‘problem’ of theirs? Any idea what his deal is?”

  “Not at all. I was hoping he’d be stationed at New Whitehall so I can spy on him, but it seems there’s nobody called ‘Jones Alexis’ here. I’ll need to wait until winter to handle him.”

  “And you sure this Reggie guy will hold up his end of the bargain?”

  “He already did, actually,” Boxxy revealed. “I convinced him to pay me up front, so to speak.”

  “Oh! So you made it past Level 50 Warlock?”

  “Yup.”

  It was only natural that there were illegal Job trainers selling their services to less-than-reputable individuals. However, Boxxy was ignorant of the criminal underground’s workings and lacked the connections necessary to take advantage of their services. Reggie was quite accommodating in that respect, though the younger shapeshifter had to pay that exorbitant training fee out of its own pocket.

  “Level 54, to be exact,” it added. “Had quite a bit of XP overflow from killing that VIP during the siege.”

  “You mean the one you were ‘saving for later?’ Did you absorb him yet?”

  “Yes. Cadaver Absorption actually succeeded on a valuable target for once. However… it got me a brand new Skill at Level 4.”

  “… Why do you seem so displeased by that? I thought that’s what it was supposed to do in the first place, wasn’t it?”

  “Yeah, but it should target the dead guy’s most developed Skill, so how come it didn’t go for Ruin or Domination Mastery? Surely a VIP that old had at least one of them at Level 25, right?”

  Fizzy crossed her arms and racked her brains. She understood the overall function and effects of Cadaver Absorption, but knew next to nothing about its specifics.

  “What do you mean by ’most-developed’?” she asked. “What’s the exact wording?”

  “Highest Proficiency,” answered Boxxy while gently stroking her rigid pigtails.

  “And this new Skill was worth ten Attributes per Level?”

  “Yes, it was actually.”

  “Well then, there you have it,” Fizzy smiled.

  “… Have what?”

  “If your Status-sucking thing targets the Skill with the highest amount of accumulated Proficiency, then it’s only natural it would go after a top-tier ability.”

  Though the golem had no idea which Skill had been absorbed, she could infer plenty from the number of Attributes it provided. There was a certain pattern to the rewards earned for advancing any enlightened Job and its related Skills. For starters, all Job Levels provided a total of six Attribute points, at least two of which would go towards Endurance (END) if it was a combat-oriented profession. Skills available prior to reaching Level 25, otherwise known as ‘first tier,’ granted four Attributes. This amount increased by two for each subsequent tier – six for the Level 25 to Level 50 ones, eight for the Level 50 to Level 75 gap, and ten for those above 75. Lastly, while irrelevant to the discussion at hand, all Ultimate Skills acquired at Level 100 of a Job provided a remarkable boost of fifty Attribute p
oints for their first and only Level.

  In short, the ability Boxxy acquired from the VIP Warlock’s corpse was of the highest order despite its less-than-flashy effects.

  [Ruinous Reach]

  The Warlock’s inherently volatile magic gains some measure of stability.

  Requirements: OVERRIDDEN

  Type: Passive

  Range: Self

  [Effects]

  Increases the range of all Spells by 3% per Level of this Skill.

  Increases the range of Ruin Spells by an additional 12% per Level of this Skill.

  The shapeshifter already knew all that, and it certainly wasn’t going to complain about receiving a free top-tier Skill. Especially one that provided such a straightforward and uncomplicated power boost. There were no dangerous downsides, confusing conditions, or situational shortcomings, which seemed to be a bit of a theme with most Warlock Skills. Boxxy felt it was a pity it didn’t absorb any of Arakawa Shinji’s 100 Warlock Levels, but Ruinous Reach was a decent consolation prize. Its main issue with how Cadaver Absorption worked out was that the ability apparently didn’t function exactly like Boxxy thought it did. Fizzy seemed to have some idea what the problem was, but the shapeshifter had difficulty grasping her point.

  “Huh?” it asked dumbly. “Why would the tier matter?”

  “Uhm… you are aware that high-tier Skills require significantly more Proficiency to Level up, right?”

  “What, really?”

  “Yeah. That’s what people say, anyway.”

  “But even if that were the case, the guy’s Mastery Skills should have been at Level 25! Or close to it!” Boxxy argued. “How can that be less Proficiency than a Job Skill that can’t be more than Level 10!?”