He broke the kiss and tended to her chest. He touched the dip between her graceful, perfect breasts with his tongue tip and felt her nipples pebble. He circled them and suckled them, tasting them hungrily.
He kissed her breasts—the soft plump curves—nudging their weight as he explored. He lifted up and studied her and wondered at the moonlight that lit her body with such grace. The depth of Lucy’s beauty was something that never ceased to leave him in awe.
His eyes lifted to hers. She watched him, regarding him with a soft look. Her eyes twinkled in the firelight. A soft knowing smile graced her lips. John raised up, nudging her legs open for him.
He sank into her slowly with purpose. All the tension of the day left his body. He felt as though he was where he needed to be, where he belonged, wrapped in her arms and holding her tight.
She strung her dainty, shapely legs around the small of his back. They were tangled and entwined. Their rhythm was slow and lasting. They were in no hurry to be apart from each other. They moved in sensual strokes, her lifting up and him sinking into her as they stoked the heat that always joined them in bed.
He arched his back, pulling up so that he could look down upon her while he was deep inside her. He wanted to memorize her face as it was, veiled with the light. She held on to him with everything she had.
He dropped his head trying his best to get lost in the moment because something about the way she made love to him almost felt like goodbye.
Chapter Twenty
Lucy
The few times that Lucy had woken up in John’s arms had felt like the beginning of something. Waking up now, it felt like the end. She didn’t know why people who were sad that things didn’t work out didn’t just shake it off, but they didn’t. Lucy and John would not be an exception. At least not right now.
She stirred first, then John did. His floor was pretty comfortable but that was because she’d slept draped over his body.
It was a shame she’d made such a big deal about where he lived—though her point had been valid. John and Caleb saw Blackwood as their home and they were basically remodeling or rather selling to upgrade as if the tiny town was a beginner project.
She liked the way John’s house felt. She’d never thought she could find comfort anyplace other than the home she’d lived in. She realized she hadn’t given anyplace else a chance. She’d been happy with her status quo. The one thing John had taught her was that happiness could be found if she was willing to take a risk. That was something she’d never considered before, but it was something she had to do now. There were too many what-ifs to ponder. What if happiness wasn’t found in Blackwood? What if she’d let herself down by keeping herself down? What if she’d screwed things up with John? What if staying with him was another moment of settling? He was an amazing man, but what if he wasn’t the one? She’d never know if she didn’t take a chance and change things up. Take a risk on herself. She had to know for sure.
She kissed her sleepy giant on his warm cheek and rose, walking with a definite limp. She felt John’s eyes draw like a predator to her injury.
“Let me see,” he ordered.
“I’m fine.” She hobbled to the couch and got dressed.
She picked up her heels. John remained on the floor with the blanket over him, just watching.
“You leaving?” He attempted to get up, but she motioned for him to stay.
“Please don’t,” she begged.
Lucy welled with emotion. Her chest and throat were tight, as if everything she felt was cram-packed and battling to get out.
“I have to go.” The silence lay like a thick blanket over them. “I’ve been shortsighted with my life. Never really gave anything else a try. I’m going to get my stuff in order and do some soul searching. I have to do this without you.”
While he nodded, the light in his eyes had dimmed.
“Thanks for the money.”
He nodded again.
There was no hug or kiss goodbye.
She left his house and went to hers—what used to be hers. As she knew he would, Kevin had locked up her house and left her a note, telling her how irresponsible she’d been.
She internally agreed, but it had nothing to do with leaving the house open.
Lucy chose a few things to wear and then tried to track Kevin down. If she knew where Maya Blackwood lived, she would have gone there first. Instead, she went to the jail. To her surprise, he was there and shocked to see her. She had never come to him. It was always the other way around.
“Hey Kev, I need you to do something, if you will.” She had no right to ask but she had no one else to turn to. “I’ll pay you.”
Kevin would keep his job even when the town transitioned, which seemed weird. She couldn’t keep her house and John liked her. Yet, he’d kept Kevin around only as a favor to her and Kevin’s life wouldn’t change. That meant Kevin didn’t get any of the “go away” money that Blackwood Corporation had sprinkled like raindrops around town. Would he help her if the price was right? She wanted to laugh because Kevin was pat when it came to money. He’d spent years in the NFL no doubt socking away his earnings because that’s who Kevin was. He was a stand up, Steady Freddie kind of guy. Someone who could be counted on no matter what. She’d been unfair to him too.
“I locked your house.”
“I got your note. Thank you for always looking out after me. While your stalking was on the creepy side, I always felt safe. Thank you for that.”
He shrugged. “Just looking after my friends.”
“About that final favor I’m asking.”
He lifted a brow and smiled. “You want me to pull that Roadster over for over-inflated tires?”
They shared a laugh at the ridiculous memory.
“No.” She continued, “I’m hiring movers to pack my stuff up so they can take it to the storage unit between here and Idaho Springs.”
“I know the one.” He leaned back in his chair and kicked his feet up on the desk like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Of course, you do, thought Lucy. There was only one. She was going to miss Kevin.
“Good,” she said, instead of razzing him. “I need you to be my point man.”
He smiled warmly. Like all the other things she’d been narrow-minded about, Lucy realized she’d never truly been fair to Kevin. She could have been nicer.
“Sure thing.”
“I'll have to give you my cell phone number.” She slowly looked at him with a smile.
He had the same expression. “I kind of have it already.” He actually appeared embarrassed. He probably knew her social security number. Her height. Her weight. Her cycle. Despite that, she knew she could absolutely trust him.
“Okay, good. Sorry for all the crap I gave you all these years. You were a pest, but in all fairness, I was a jerk.”
He nodded and didn’t argue the point, which made her feel worse.
“So, are you taking care of Maya Blackwood?”
“I’m keeping an eye on her. That woman is a mess.”
“Make her be nice.”
“I’m not a miracle worker.” He stood and opened his arms for a hug. “Although, you finally came around.” He pulled her into a hug that felt long overdue. She left Kevin with no what-ifs to consider.
Denver wasn’t too far from Blackwood. Under two hours if the roads were clear and the traffic was light. It was so close and so easy to get to and yet she couldn’t remember the last time she’d gone there. It was high time she faced living in the real world.
So that was the plan. To stay at a hotel and check out the ads for rentals and jobs. While her heart told her to stay, she knew that if she did, she’d be filled with what-ifs.
She was on autopilot. She had money in her account, gas in her tank. She was heading for Denver questioning her sanity for leaving John Blackwood behind. She drove away from Kevin, away from Blackwood, absolutely numb.
Her car drove funny, but she ignored it until she got to the hote
l. The valet took her car, which looked so beat up next to the polished entrance and the formal uniforms of the employees.
“You realize you have a bad tire?” The valet pointed to her rear left wheel.
“No.”
“Seems out of balance. Maybe it’s the tire pressure,” he said. “You can get roadside service to come and fix it.”
Where was Kevin Holt when she needed him? She found the nearest service station to have the tire changed. Kevin had probably been right all along but maybe the overinflated didn’t pertain to her tires but to her persona. She thought she knew who she was and what she wanted. How could she when she had no real world experience? She had mocked John for being rich, but outside of that, he had life experience and that was far more valuable than money.
She didn’t mind hanging out in the lobby waiting. The tire place had Wi-Fi. She pulled out her laptop and did some work. Before she got too deep into anything, she fired off a text to Deena to let her know what she was up to. She owed her an apology too.
Deena replied immediately with, “I hope you find what you’re looking for. I’ll miss you. Good luck.”
She fished the internet for local rentals, took a walk around the service station to see what apartment buildings and other things were nearby. Her feelings for the rebirth she experienced in the past week or so had not hit yet.
The mechanic reappeared after running diagnostics.
“Is it bad?”
“Nah, not bad. I’ve seen worse. If you aren’t going anywhere far away, this car will do you,” he said. “I would like to do a tune-up.”
“Can I leave it here and pick it up tomorrow? I’m staying across the street.”
“Yeah. You wanna take your stuff out first?”
“My stuff?”
“Yep, we aren’t responsible for lost or stolen goods. I moved your bag and saw sparkles. You have jewelry and stuff in the car.”
She remembered the things that John had bought her at Eldora’s. She had been going to give them back at his house and never did but was glad she still had them.
“Thanks. It’s nice to know I have an honest mechanic.”
She took the bag from him and clutched it to her chest. There were a lifetime of memories in that bag. Her and Maya. Her and her anger. Her and John. Clothes she hadn’t worn because she’d felt awkward accepting them. Funny how in hindsight, it wasn’t how he’d felt about her. How Maya had made her feel. It was how she’d felt about herself that kept her trapped. Now she was free to figure out who she was. Something told her she was less without John and it had nothing to do with dollar signs.
Chapter Twenty-One
John
John had lain on the floor, sick to his stomach while Lucy left. When she closed the door, he got busy. It was too painful to think of her as gone forever. He imagined that all of this was temporary.
She had asked him early on if there was anything he could do about the sale of the house. Back then he hadn’t wanted to. He hadn’t even tried. Sadly, he didn’t know the answer to that question. Still didn’t, so he called Deena.
He paced shirtless in his big, sparsely furnished living room, holding the phone.
“Hello?”
“I need you to look at the documents I’m about to send to you. First, it doesn’t create a conflict with Lucy if you talk to me, does it?”
“No, Lucy fired me as her attorney. I can talk to you. What is this about?”
“It’s about the house.”
“Well, if it’s about getting it back, I know she wouldn’t have any problem with you talking to anyone.”
“I’ll send over a retainer.”
Deena had John on speakerphone. Caleb spoke in the background.
“Tell him your hourly rate is a thousand bucks,” his brother said.
“Tell Caleb his favorite number is a thousand bucks.” He scanned the documents and sent them. “I need you to review the contract which you should be getting now. See if there are any loopholes. I want the house.”
“What are you going to do with it?”
“Secret,” he said. “They’re going to convert her place into a B&B. I want it.”
“Okay. I’ll get back to you.”
John showered after he hung up the phone. He wondered what Lucy was doing right at this second. As soon as he stepped out of the shower and dried off, Deena called back.
“That’s pretty quick reviewing.”
“Well, it’s standard language, but I found a disqualifier. If there is a defect in the house itself, the sale is void.”
“You sure?”
“Yep.”
John jumped for joy. This was going to be easy.
“John”—Deena used her lawyer voice—“are you going to give her the house?”
“Thinking about it, but please don’t tell her. Also, tell Caleb to watch it while you’re on speaker. He’ll make a crack in the background and blow it. If I can pull this off, I want it to be a surprise.”
“The reason I ask is the corporation paid her. Won’t she have to give her compensation back if she keeps the house?”
“My plan is to give the developers a house. I have one in mind. I haven’t worked the details out yet.”
“Good, because she just texted me. She’s in Denver. Says she’s giving herself six months. If that’s what she says, that’s what she’ll do. She’s planning to live on that money, at least for a while. I’d hate to see her have to turn to a diet of smoked almonds and olives again.”
John was jealous Deena had heard from her and he hadn’t, but then again, he knew it would be difficult for her to find herself if he were a constant presence. He’d have to give her time.
“I’ll cover any money if someone wants hers back, but I don’t think so. She still lost her business and living situation. Don’t worry about that.” He realized he hadn’t thought everything through.
“Okay, just checking.”
“Once I find a defect, I want you to help me with the developers. I’ll need you to handle this beyond document review.”
“I’m fine with that, but what happened to your corporate counsel?”
“I’ll figure that out later.”
“Okay,” said Deena. “I’m on it. I’ll send you a retainer agreement.”
Now that he’d talked to Deena, he had a direction in which to move. Next, he called Kevin Holt.
“Kevin,” he said like they were buds. “This is John Blackwood. I need to meet with you if I can. Do you have lunch plans?”
“As a matter of fact, yes, I do.”
“I need help with something. It concerns Lucy.”
“I’ve moved past Lucy.” His voice was clipped but somber.
“Okay, that sounds like a healthy choice.” Intuition struck him. “Are you going to lunch with Maya?”
“I am. I asked her out, and she said yes. I figure she’s the one woman you Blackwoods can’t take away from me.”
“That’s fine,” John said politely. “I’m sure you’ll take good care of her. She’s a widow, you know.”
“I know all about her.” Kevin’s matter-of-fact reply wasn’t a surprise. The man probably had a foot thick dossier on her already.
“Yes.” John tried not to laugh. “I suppose you do. This is of utmost importance to me. If you do this, I’ll invite you to the Blackwood party that Caleb is throwing. You know the celebration of the sale of the town? You can come, and I’ll place you next to Maya.”
“Fine. I’ll meet you after lunch.”
“Can you come here?”
“Your place? Sure.”
“Have you googled where I live, or do you need the address?”
“I’m a good cop. I know where you live.”
John laughed again. No doubt he had a file on him too.
“I think you know where everyone lives,” he murmured. “Come after lunch if it’s convenient or come to dinner when you’re off.”
John was so excited about his idea that he wanted to text
Lucy or call her and share it with her, but it was a surprise.
Kevin showed up promptly after his lunch date with Maya.
A knock sounded at the door. “Come in,” called John.
Kevin turned the knob and stepped into the entryway wearing jeans and a polo shirt.
“You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you out of uniform.” John had to invite him inside several times to get him to step deeper into the house. They remained standing while they talked.
“Are you pressed for time?” John pointed to the sofa. “Come in and tell me how my cousin is. How was lunch?”
Kevin didn’t move. “Lunch was good. Maya is good. She’s going to AA meetings. I’m going to take her to them.”
John was heartened by that news. Maya was taking positive steps. Who knew that Kevin would be part of that process?
“We appreciate it. You know, I think we got off on the wrong foot. I need help to do something, and I think you’re the only person who can assist me.” The next bit was painful to say. “You’re an expert on Lucy. I am not. May not ever be.”
“She dumped you, huh?” Kevin had surprising insight.
“Don’t you know? Thought you knew everything.” John asked acidly. The question had touched a nerve.
Kevin cleared his throat. “If you’re going to ask for my help, you’re going to have to stop putting me down. If anyone should understand my having it bad for Lucy Shoemaker, it’s you. I’ve had it bad for her for most of my life. She has no family. Her mother died when she was in the first grade. Her father died right after she graduated from college. You think I follow her around because I’m obsessed. I might have been, but I truly care about her.” He fisted his hips and stood tall and proud. “Stop talking to me like I’m a half-wit. You don’t own the town anymore.”
John had renewed respect for him. “I apologize.”
What If: A Small Town Big Love Novel Page 15