by Marta Perry
Hazily, Nate glanced upward.
Vince.
“Come on now, little brother,” Vince said. “You’re in the way, as usual.”
Vince’s teasing tone overlaid his more serious expression. Nate didn’t know why Vince was here, but he’d never been as glad to see his brother as he was at that moment.
With Vince’s assistance, Nate managed to swerve drunkenly toward the waiting ambulance, where they were already bundling Jess inside.
Behind him there was a big whoosh as the once-solid structure of the day care collapsed from the heat. Firefighters were dousing it with water, but it was far too late to save the building.
But not, Nate prayed, the human beings.
“Gracie,” he choked out raggedly, his voice hoarse from the ash he had inhaled. The children huddling by the tree line were being herded into the day care van by the teachers, presumably on their way to be checked out at the hospital in Boulder.
But Nate could see no sign of Gracie.
“Where’s my baby?” he rasped, grasping desperately for the collar of Vince’s jacket.
“She’s already on her way to the hospital,” Vince informed him tightly, pulling on his sleeve and urging him to sit down by the ambulance. Nate’s knees were shaky and he thought he might fall down if he didn’t sit down, so he slumped to the ground.
“How is she? Is she...?” He couldn’t seem to get the words out.
Vince crouched in front of Nate and clasped him on the shoulders. “Gracie is already on her way to the hospital in Boulder,” he repeated. “The first ambulance took off with her several minutes ago.”
A female paramedic approached and Vince stepped away as she placed a pulse-ox monitor on Nate’s finger and checked his lungs with her stethoscope. Nate wanted to brush her away, but he was too fatigued to move.
“Is she...?” Nate repeated, unable to complete his thought.
“She’s going to be fine,” Vince said with a clipped nod. Nate wasn’t so sure, from the way his brother set his jaw after he spoke.
“She was unconscious when I passed her through the window.”
“I know,” Vince said. “But she quickly regained consciousness after the paramedics worked on her and gave her some oxygen.”
“Thank God,” Nate murmured.
“Amen,” Vince answered, sounding as choked up as Nate felt. He chuckled, a dry, forced sound. “It looked to me like Gracie was giving the paramedics a hard time when they bundled her into the ambulance. I think she wanted her daddy.”
Nate tried to smile but couldn’t.
“I’ve got to get there,” he mumbled, as much to himself as to Nate.
“You will, brother. If I have any say in the matter, you’ll be taking this ambulance with Jess.”
Nate grimaced. He didn’t need medical attention. Jess did. She had been so brave, not thinking of herself at all as she had burst into the blazing building. Were it not for her, there would be many grieving parents right now. Nate most of all.
“And the other kids?” he asked.
“All safe,” Vince assured him. “The teachers have contacted all the parents, and they will be using the day care van to take them down to the emergency room to be checked out for smoke inhalation. But the important part is that everyone made it out alive, thanks in great part to you and Jess.”
“Jess,” Nate repeated, his throat stinging as he spoke, as much from raw emotion as from the smoke he had inhaled.
The female paramedic broke in to tell Nate he could ride along with Jess in the ambulance, but that they needed to go now.
“You’re a hero, little brother,” Vince said, supporting Nate as he rose. “Foolish, but a hero nonetheless. You saved Jess’s life back there.”
Nate shook his head, then ducked into the ambulance to take a seat by Jess’s still form. He reached out and gently traced her forehead with his finger. He couldn’t stand to see her this way, so utterly still and silent and devoid of life.
But she was alive, Nate reminded himself. Her chest was rising and falling with precious oxygen, and the paramedics were busy making her stable.
“I’ll follow the ambulance down and meet you at the hospital,” Vince told him as the paramedics made to close the doors to the rescue vehicle.
“But the day care—”
“Is a goner. There’s nothing I can do here. The fire department has it under control. People before buildings, you know?”
Nate’s eyes were stinging again, and he didn’t think it was because of the smoke and ash. He swallowed the lump in his throat with difficulty.
“Thank you,” he whispered raggedly.
Vince gave a clipped nod and his jaw tightened. “Just be well, Nate. You have a couple of very important ladies depending on you.”
Not that Nate needed to be reminded of that very sobering thought, but he thrust out his hand toward Vince anyway. Vince clasped his hand forcefully, and Nate saw that his were not the only eyes watering.
For possibly the first time in his life, he knew what it felt like to have the support of family, Nate thought as the doors closed and the vehicle jerked into motion. He knew Jess would see it as a blessing rising from the ashes of tragedy and she wouldn’t have hesitated a moment to tell him so.
And despite the fact that this ordeal was far from over, Nate found to his surprise that he could see the blessing through the tragedy, as well.
Nate wanted to smile, but simultaneously experienced the desire to weep. It wasn’t over yet.
* * *
Vince thumped Nate on the back. Hard. “Don’t scare me like that again, little brother.”
“What?” Nate had been gazing down at Gracie, sleeping in a tented bassinet in the hospital neonatal intensive care unit, and his mind had been a million miles away, remembering the moment he had scribbled his signature on the papers that officially proclaimed him the baby girl’s legal guardian.
Gracie had turned his life upside down, changed his whole reason for living. Raising a baby was the hardest thing he’d ever done, but it was also the most satisfying. He’d never imagined that the little lady could steal his heart away as she had.
And he’d never imagined he would also find the woman of his dreams. He’d figured his life was pretty much in a holding pattern once he’d become Gracie’s guardian. Instead, he’d found Jess.
“What a little darlin’,” Vince murmured, keeping one hand on Nate’s back as they both leaned over the tented bassinet. “How’s she doing?”
Nate breathed out on a sigh. “She’s going to be fine. The doctors want to keep her overnight for observation, but they said that if all goes well, I can take her home in the morning.”
Vince squeezed Nate’s shoulder. “I’m glad. God is good.”
“Yes,” Nate whispered raggedly.
“And Jessica? Have you heard anything about her condition?”
Nate shook his head. “Not yet. They whisked her away the moment we reached the hospital. I won’t be able to see her until they admit her into a room.”
“Intensive care?” Vince queried quietly and sympathetically.
He shrugged. “I don’t know yet.”
“Well, she’s not alone. And neither are you. I’ll wait with you.”
“You don’t have to do that. I know you must be anxious to get back to the lodge.”
Vince scowled, reminiscent of old times. “You know better than to tell me what to do. I said I’m going to wait with you, and that’s exactly what I intend to do. End of subject.”
True to his word, Vince stayed by Nate’s side as they waited for word on Jess in the emergency waiting room. Nate asked to see her, but as the doctors were working on her, he was not allowed to go in.
All he could think of was how she was alone, how he didn’t want her to regain consciousness without him being by her
side. If—when she opened her eyes, he wanted her to see him there. She had been through enough pain and abandonment in her life. Nate wanted to make sure that didn’t happen again.
Ever.
He wished for the hundredth time that day that he had spoken to her earlier, told her the deepest feelings of his heart before it might be too late to tell her at all. There was so much he wanted to say, so much he needed her to know about him. About her.
About them.
But of course he couldn’t have said anything to her even if he’d gotten up the nerve, for a very simple reason.
Because he wasn’t right with God. And until that happened, it wouldn’t be right to ask Jess for more than friendship. She deserved to have a man by her side who shared her precious faith, and Nate wasn’t yet that man, though he wanted to be.
For Jess. For Gracie.
But most of all, for himself. He recognized the truth, and prayed that it would, as the Scriptures said, set him free.
A feeling Nate couldn’t begin to explain washed over him as he realized God was no longer on some high, unattainable mountaintop.
The truth had set him free.
And it had happened when he had least expected it, in that moment when everything had changed. He had faced his worst nightmare—losing the two people who meant the most in the world to him.
And God had been there.
Nate didn’t know what had changed, or why. Only that somehow, the faith he couldn’t seem to wrap his mind around had wrapped itself around his heart. It was a mystery he wasn’t sure he would ever understand, but he would thank God for it every day of his life.
He couldn’t wait to tell Jess the good news. She would be overjoyed at Nate’s newfound faith.
If he ever got to tell her.
He was as frightened as he had ever been in his life. He’d already known he’d fallen hard for Jess, but it wasn’t until he’d heard the ominous cracking of the beam over her head at the day care that he had realized the true depth and breadth of his love for her.
Somehow he had to convince her his love was real, a forever love that would carry them through the rest of their lives.
He had to tell her.
It had been two hours, and Nate hadn’t heard a word. Vince still sat beside him, his head bowed and his hands clasped. Nate thought he might be praying. There was a lot about his brother that Nate didn’t know.
Suddenly Nate couldn’t sit still a moment longer. He stood and stretched his sore muscles, then tensed as one of the emergency room doctors strode through the double doors that led back to the emergency triage.
The doctor’s scrubs looked as wrinkled as his brow. As he glanced expectantly around the waiting room, Nate strode forward.
“I’m looking for information on Jessica Sabin,” he said without preamble. “Do you know anything?”
The doctor stared at Nate a moment without answering, and then nodded, his expression serious. “Are you family, sir?”
“I came in on the ambulance with her,” Nate said. “She has no family.”
Except for me and Gracie, he thought, his chest clenching. “Is she okay?”
The doctor hesitated as if trying to decide whether or not to disclose any information to Nate. Nate drew himself to his full height and took a step forward, grasping the doctor on his upper arm.
“Please. If you know anything...I’ve been waiting for hours.”
Finally, the green-scrubbed doctor nodded. “She is in stable condition. Miraculously, no bones were broken, but she inhaled a lot of smoke. That is our greatest concern at the moment.”
“Can I talk to her?”
“I’m sorry, but no. She hasn’t yet regained consciousness.”
“What?” Nate’s grip tightened reflexively on the doctor’s arm. Murmuring an apology, Nate took a step back and released his hold on the doctor. “That’s bad, isn’t it?”
The doctor’s lips drew together in a firm line. “It could be.”
Nate felt as if he’d been struck as his breath heaved out of his lungs. The roaring in his head intensified and all the colors of the room faded to black and white, like a television with a malfunctioning picture tube.
His knees might have given way, but suddenly Vince was there beside him, propping him up with a strong, steady arm under his.
“Take it easy, there, bro,” Vince whispered, loud enough for Nate’s ears alone. “Be strong.”
Vince turned his attention to the doctor. “So what’s the next step? Is there anything you can do to help Jessica regain consciousness?”
The doctor shook his head. “We wait.”
Nate pulled back his shoulders and fought against the deafening noise in his head. “Can I see her, please? I just want to be by her side.”
“We’re moving her upstairs now. Room 455. You can visit her there. What is your name, sir? I’ll let the nurses know you’ll be coming.”
“Nathan Morningway,” he answered, a new wave of strength suddenly encompassing him.
Jess would wake up. She had to. And when she did, he would be there.
Chapter 16
Jessica’s nose itched.
Without opening her eyes, she reached up to scratch it, but her hand felt unusually heavy, too weighty to lift. There was something lying across her cheekbones, plastic tubing of some kind, she thought drowsily.
How long had she been sleeping?
The air streaming from the tubing was what was making Jessica’s nose itch so bad, she realized. She now recognized it must be oxygen tubing draped around her ears, but she couldn’t immediately remember where she was or why she needed oxygen.
She tried her left hand and made contact with her nose, but the movement caused the back of her hand to prick with a sharp, needlelike sensation, and her whole body ached as if she had been on the losing end of a fistfight.
Groaning inwardly, she tried to open her eyes.
Where was she?
Light was streaming in through the half-open blinds on the window, and it took a moment for her eyesight to adjust to the brightness. She didn’t recognize the room at all, though she now realized the stinging sensation on her left hand was from an IV drip, and her right hand was tightly bandaged.
And she hurt, worse than she ever thought possible. It wasn’t localized pain, but more of a radiating muscle ache, everywhere at once.
Panic edged through her as her whereabouts finally struck home. It all came rushing back to her—the fire at the day care. The sting of the black, billowing smoke filling her lungs.
The children. Gracie.
She caught her breath, remembering Nate passing the baby through the window he had smashed out with his elbow, into the arms of the firefighters hovering on the other side.
Gracie was safe. Wasn’t she?
What had happened then? The last thing she remembered was hearing the beam above her head hiss and crack, just before it crashed down on her.
She was in a hospital.
She was in pain.
But, she recognized suddenly as her head drifted to the right, she wasn’t alone.
There was a reason she hadn’t been able to move her right arm up to her face, and it wasn’t just that her hand was bandaged.
Nate was here.
He was asleep, slumped in a very uncomfortable-looking chair which he had pulled by her bedside. His head rested at an awkward angle on one of his palms. His other hand gently covered her right shoulder.
Though her muscles ached with the effort, she drew herself carefully to her side. Nate didn’t budge. She didn’t know how long he’d been sleeping that way, but there was no way he could be comfortable. He must be truly exhausted to be sleeping so soundly in such an awkward position.
Easing her left hand over her body, she reached out and ran her fingers down Nate’s stubbly j
aw. His chiseled features were boyish and relaxed in sleep, and his hair had grown out enough that it was adorably disheveled and sticking at various angles from his scalp like a ruffled porcupine.
She loved this man. So much so that her heart ached worse than her bruised body.
The thought came so quickly she couldn’t have quelled it if she tried—and she didn’t even want to try. There was no way to deny the way her heart sang when she was around Nate.
She hadn’t been looking for love, but Nate and Gracie had found her anyway. The moment the gruff marine had walked into the doorway of Morningway Lodge toting his sweet baby girl, her life had changed irrevocably.
And, she thought, smiling softly, definitely for the better.
She had been so paralyzed by her past that she couldn’t see the good gifts God had given her right under her nose. How could she ever have denied the feelings that were now so prominent in her heart?
Nate gave a cute little snort and jerked awake, his eyes wide as they focused down on her.
“You’re awake,” he breathed, his voice laced with relief and thankfulness. “Thank God. Jess, you had me so scared.”
Jessica tried to nod, but the small movement sent ripples of pain throbbing through her head and all the way down to her toes. Groaning from deep within her chest, she rolled onto her back.
“Don’t try to move, sweetheart. You’ve been through the ringer. How are you feeling?”
“Gracie?” she croaked through parched lips, ignoring Nate’s fervent question about her own health.
Nate smiled and gently brushed her hair off her forehead with his palm. “Gracie is fine, honey. Thanks to you.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “And the rest of the children?”
“Also fine,” he confirmed. “Everyone got out of the building safely. In fact, no one else besides you and Gracie had to be hospitalized.”
“Hospitalized?” Jessica repeated, horror returning with reinforcements. “I thought you said Gracie was okay?”
Before Nate could answer her harried question, a nurse entered the room.
“I’m glad to see you’re awake,” the nurse said, hovering over Jessica and wrapping a blood pressure cuff around the upper part of her right arm. She tossed a sideways glance at Nate. “I’ll have to ask you to leave now while the doctor checks her out.”