by Nique Luarks
“Mmm...” I moaned, placing my hands on his chest. “Yes.”
Right then and there, I knew what True and I had was toxic, but at that moment, I really didn’t give a fuck.
Grinding slowly, I leaned forward again to share a kiss with him. When our lips connected, my love got wetter. Tears formed, and my heart started racing. True cuffed my face and deepened our kiss as he fucked me. His hips worked in slow, circular motions, driving me insane.
“Uhhh...” I whimpered. I felt the orgasm I so desperately wanted. Closing my eyes, I prepared for it. Thanked God for it.
True moaned, biting down on my bottom lip.
“Right there, baby,” I begged.
“Right there?” He fucked me harder. “Open yo’ eyes and look at me.”
They fluttered open slowly but then rolled to the back of my head as I came.
True’s dick kept hitting my g-spot, and when it felt like I was about to pee on myself, he disconnected our bodies, and I squirted on his stomach. My body went stiff as a board, and my pussy throbbed hard. True slid me right back down his shaft, grabbing the back of my hair, shoving his tongue in my mouth. We stopped sexing as we shared a long kiss.
Exhaustion washed over me, and I fell into his chest.
“Be careful,” he grumbled. “Don’t squish my baby.”
“I’m not,” I mumbled. I felt like I’d just got done running a marathon, even though True had put all the work in.
True slid out of me, and I fell onto my back. He hovered over me, stroking his dick. Kissing my neck, he sucked down hard as he widened the gap between my legs.
“You want one more?” The head of his penis was already in my opening.
I nodded. He could give me as many as he wanted.
“You’re glowing.” My mom stood up to give me a hug. “Pregnancy looks so good on you, baby.”
“Thanks, Mommy.” I sat down. “What are you doing out here?” Her backyard garden seemed to be expanding.
She laughed. “Just enjoying the scenery. Your dad just got done weeding for me.”
I nodded. “It gets prettier every time I come back here.”
“Thank you, baby.”
“You’re welcome.”
After taking a sip of her wine, she cleared her throat. “So, what’s new with you?”
I shrugged. “Work and work.”
“Don’t be working too hard now.”
I giggled. “I’ve never worked hard, I work smart.”
She laughed. “Well, excuse me. You just missed your brothers.”
“Which ones?” I grabbed a strawberry from the container she had on the table.
“Tyriq and Noah.”
“I talked to Noah the other day.” I took a bite.
“Did he tell you about his crazy girlfriend?” My mother frowned. “Stabbing my damn baby.”
I nodded. “He told me. He slept with her cousin.”
“That doesn’t give her the right to try to kill my child.”
I agreed. I didn’t talk to my brothers much, but I loved them all dearly.
“Any-who. I saw Morgan. She told me you guys talked finally.”
“Yep.” I reached for another strawberry.
“How’d that go?”
“Okay. She filed for divorce.”
“Mmm...” My mother sipped from her glass. “Smart girl.”
The sliding glass door opened, and my father stepped out.
“Hey, Daddy.”
“Sup, baby girl?” he smiled. “Honey, I’m getting ready to go.”
My mother smirked. “Again?”
My daddy sucked his teeth. “I won’t be gone long.”
“Yeah, that’s what you always say, then you end up staying out until it’s time for you to go to work.”
My eyes bounced back and forth between my parents. The tension was so thick, it was making me uncomfortable.
“Sonia, don’t start this shit.”
My mom chuckled. “Have fun. Like I said, I’ll see you tonight before work.”
My dad stood in the doorway for a second before he spun around and went back inside. Once he slammed the door, I looked to my mommy.
“What was that about?”
“Nothing.” She took a long drink. “Your dad is just testing my patience.”
I glanced back at the house before sinking into my seat.
It’s happening again…
True
BM3: True, I’m in labor.
Rolling over onto my side, I yawned. Calling Nisha, I put the phone to my ear and waited for her to answer.
“Hello.”
“You at the hospital?” I closed my eyes.
“On my way. Are you coming?” she sniffled.
“Yeah, why you crying?”
“I’m in pain. This shit is so stupid.”
“A’ight. Here I come.”
I laid on my back and stared up at the ceiling. Reaching for my phone again, I dialed Chance. I hadn’t seen or talked to her since we’d fucked a few days ago. Sex with her was better than any bitch I’d ever been with. I came three times, and two of them she didn’t even know about.
“Hello?”
“Wassup.” I ran my hand down my face. “What you got up?”
“Going through inventory. What’s up?”
“Nisha is about to have the baby.”
The line went silent. Sitting up all the way, I checked to make sure she was still there. The timer was still going, so I figured she was trying to let what I’d said register. Clearing my throat, I sighed.
“Chance.”
“I’m here,” she sighed. “If she’s in labor, why are you calling me?”
“’Cause I want you to name him.”
“I don’t want to.”
I stood up.
“Like I told you, I will love him if he’s yours, but I don’t think me and Nisha will ever be cordial. Me naming her child will only make things worse.”
Stepping into my closet, I hung my head back.
“If, in fact, this is your son, I want to be able to have a healthy medium with all of your kids’ mothers. They don’t have to like me, but respect is non-negotiable.”
“Jelly.”
“What, True?”
“Please?” In a weird, fucked-up way, Chance naming my kids made her a part of them, too.
Again, the line went quiet.
“I’m naming our daughter Carlee.”
“A’ight.” I wanted to have some input, but if letting her name our daughter would make her name my son, then I was down.
“Carter...” she sighed. “I like the name Carter. And it’ll go with Carlee the same way that Chase goes with Chasity.”
I smiled. “I like that.”
“Me too,” she mumbled. “Look, I have to go, they need me at the loading dock. Congratulations,” Chance said, then banged on me.
Carter came almost twelve hours later. He favored Chasity when she was born with the same silky, straight hair, slanted eyes, and chunky cheeks. We gave DNA samples, but there was no doubt in my mind he was mine. His little ass was a cry baby like his mama, though.
Since Nisha had somewhat of a hard labor, she’d been asleep for the last couple hours. I walked around with Carter in my arms, staring at him. It didn’t matter that me and his moms hardly ever saw eye to eye. He was innocent in all of this. I planned on loving and providing for him the same way I did my first two, and my last.
“What time is it?” Nisha grumbled.
I looked up at the clock on the wall. “A little after midnight.”
Carter stirred in my arms, then cooed lowly.
“Has my mom been back up?”
I nodded. “Yeah, she was here wit’ yo’ crazy-ass aunties.”
Nisha’s peoples weren’t feeling the kid at all. Her pops wouldn’t even look at me, her moms kept saying little slick shit, and her auntie, Evelyn, cursed me out in Spanish for thirty minutes straight. I didn’t really give a fuck, though. I didn’t need a rel
ationship with them to have one with my son.
I was used to my baby mamas’ families hating me.
“They gotta warm up to you.”
I shrugged. “Don’t really matter to me.”
She sucked her teeth. “Let me see my baby.”
Walking Carter to his mama, I kissed the top of his head. I passed him off slowly, then went into my pocket for my phone.
“You about to go?”
I nodded. “Yeah. He just ate. I got some shit to do.”
“Before you go, can we talk?”
I folded my arms. “Wassup?”
She rocked Carter. “Now that the baby is here, I think we should talk about what it is that we’re doing.”
Man...
I stared at her.
“I want our son to have a family, True,” Nisha whined.
“He got a family.”
“I mean us.” She pointed back and forth between her and me.
“Nisha, dawg.” I wasn’t trying to hear this shit. “Me being here ain’t enough?”
“Why can’t we be an official family, True? Carter needs his mama and daddy at home. He doesn’t need a part-time father.”
I mugged her. “Nisha, you sound stupid. You already know how I get down.” Just because I didn’t sleep in the same house as my seeds every night, didn’t mean I was a part-time father. My young life knew they could call on me for any and everything, and they did.
“You know that’s not what I meant,” she hissed lowly. “I just know we could be more than just baby mama and baby daddy. I love you, True.”
“And I fucks wit’ you, shorty.” I turned my dad hat backward. “But I keep tellin’ yo’ deaf ass, this ain’t that.”
Her head dropped.
“I appreciate you, and I’ma always love you for giving me my son.”
“That you let Chance name,” she shot back with an attitude.
I chuckled. “Chance ain’t got shit to do with why I don’t wanna be with you.”
“Then what is it?!” she yelled.
“Aye...” My eyes bounced to my son. “Chill out. I know you see he’s sleep. Yo’ ass is trippin’.”
When Nisha started crying, I headed for the door. I didn’t know what these bitches wanted from me.
“It’s cool. I’ma find me a real nigga. You just use all of us,” she sniffled. “Make us fall in love with you, knock us up, then act like you don’t know why we’re so upset. You ain’t shit, bro.”
I nodded. “You probably right.” Opening the door, I glanced back at Carter once more. “I’ll swing by later. I want Chase and Chasity to meet their brother.”
“Whatever.” She looked down at Carter. “From here on out, I don’t give a fuck what you do.”
13
You only lose when you fight back
Chance
After months of avoiding Rel, I agreed to meet up with him so we could have an honest conversation. Since he wasn’t quite getting the hint, I felt as though it was my responsibility to clear some things up. We were meeting at Summit Grill, and I hoped and prayed he didn’t show up drunk, which was why I had suggested to drive myself, denying his offer to pick me up.
Sipping on my virgin strawberry daiquiri, I waited patiently at the bar for him. I couldn’t wait to have my baby, so I could have a real drink, and even a blunt. This sober shit was not for me, and I was not ashamed to admit it. It wasn’t like I was a heavy drinker, but a nice glass of cold wine or a mimosa every once in a while was well needed.
“It’s good to finally see you.” Rel came from behind and wrapped his arms around me.
Smiling, I spun around. “Hey, Rel.”
He looked me over slowly, and when his gaze landed on my stomach, he glowered...hard. “You’re pregnant?”
I nodded. “Looks that way, huh?”
“I thought she was lying...” he mumbled, barely audible.
“Excuse me?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Instead of answering me, he shook his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because we haven’t been talking.”
“Which is entirely your fault.” Rel stuffed his hands into his tailored suit pockets. “You should’ve told me.” His voice rose, gaining a few stares.
“You need to calm down,” I said, embarrassed at all the attention he was bringing to us.
“I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me. You know how I feel about you, Chance.”
“No, I don’t know how you feel about me. We’ve hung out a few times, and you’re a great guy—"
“But?” He cut me off. “You like roughneck, drug dealing jailbirds.”
Surprised at how he was coming at me, I faced him completely. “Don’t disrespect me, Rel.”
“But you can disrespect me?” He stepped closer.
“I haven’t disrespected you, and if you feel like I have, I apologize.”
“Wow,” he chuckled coldly. “You look to be five or six months pregnant, ignoring my phone calls and texts, and got the fuckin’ gall to act like I shouldn’t feel disrespected?”
“Rel, I think you have a few misconceptions of what you thought we were. You’re a nice guy, but we’re just not that compatible.”
He ignored me and waved the bartender over. “Let me get two double shots of your best whiskey.”
I faced forward.
“Chance, I care about you, and I only want what’s best for you,” Rel started again. “I never stopped thinking about you.”
I sighed.
“And as stupid as I may sound, I’m willing to accept your baby as mine.”
What?
I gave him the side-eye.
I’d just told him I wasn’t interested in anything serious with him, so I didn’t need him to accept my child. Carlee already had a devoted daddy who, most of the time, seemed more excited about her arrival than me. Rel was beginning to act really weird. The longer I sat around him, the more my skin crawled.
I watched him toss both shots back quickly, then take a seat. Rel stared down at the bar quietly, pondering. He’d shake his head every once in a while and chuckle quietly. Going into my purse, I prepared to pay for my drink and leave. Just as I removed my wallet, Rel cleared his throat.
“What do I have to do?”
“Huh?” I turned sideways to look at him fully.
“What do I have to do to be the man you want me to be?”
Okay...
“I don’t want you to do anything, Rel. I want you to understand this thing with us is over.” I placed my debit card on the counter.
I didn’t plan on leaving so soon, but I needed to get away from him. He wasn’t acting like the charismatic man I’d grown to like. He was being a creep, and I rarely ever came across those types. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, and then he ended up snapping on me.
“Marry me,” he mumbled.
Uh...no.
The bartender took my card.
“Rel, do you hear yourself right now?” He didn’t need any more to drink. “Do you need me to get you an Uber?”
“Just answer the question. Quit beating around the bush and toying with my emotions like you’ve been doing,” he snapped. “How’d you go from liking me to not wanting to be bothered with me?”
The bartender sat my receipt in front of me. Grabbing the pen, I quickly jotted down my signature and the tip I wanted to leave.
“Let me get two more,” Rel demanded aggressively before he faced me. “Answer my question.”
“I did.” He was starting to piss me off. “No, I’m not going to marry you. At this point, I don’t even think we should be friends.” I hopped down from my seat at the same time the bartender slid his shots to him.
He threw the first one back, grunted, then reached for the second. “You bitches are all the same, man. Dog the good men and praise the niggas that shit on you. I thought you were smarter than that.” Rel finished the second shot. “Dumb bitch.”
Snatching my purse, I smirked.
“Well, that’s great to know that’s how you feel about me. After tonight, we never have to exchange words again. I wish you the best of luck.” I started for the door.
Once I got outside, the humidity made me angrier. I’d played it well on the outside, but internally, I wanted to spit in Rel’s face.
“Chance, wait!” he called out from behind me.
I kept walking, digging into my purse for my pepper spray.
“How do you expect me to feel?” he shouted. “One minute, we’re good, and the next, I can’t get you to reply to me. I really like you.”
“Screw you, Rel.” I didn’t even bother turning around, so when I felt him grip my forearm tightly and spin me around, I panicked. “Get your hands off me!”
“I’ve been understanding. Even when you fucked that nigga True when you thought I was asleep,” he slurred pitifully.
My eyes bucked a little.
“But I never stopped caring about you.” Rel caressed my cheek. “I see the potential in us. Why can’t you?”
Pulling away from him, I shook my head. “Just leave me alone.”
“Aye, is there a problem over here?” a man who was walking with a woman stopped to ask. The woman looked concerned.
“Everything’s fine. Thank you.” I spun back around and quickly headed for my car.
True
“So, are you just gon’ ignore me forever?” I stood in Love’s bedroom door.
She snuggled closer to her pillow. “Please leave me alone.”
These last two weeks without talking to my kid sister was the longest we’d ever gone, acting like each other didn’t exist. And although I was a G, it was fucking with my conscience because before Chase, Chasity, Carter, and Carlee, there was Love, my baby sister who looked up to me and had my back through whatever. She was hurting, and as much as I wanted to deny my part in it, I had played a major role.
Stepping further into her room, I crossed my arms. “You been to the doctor?”
“Nope,” she answered dryly.
I frowned. “Why not?”
“Why should I?”
“’Cause you carrying my niece or nephew, that’s why. You need to get checked out, make sure everything is straight.”