by HR Moore
'I've never made someone believe I loved them—or had sex with someone—out of a sense of duty.'
Raina looked away. Every time Jamie had kissed her, touched her, licked her, pressed her down, pushed inside her, a little part of her had splintered. Jamie had never forced anything on her; she'd been a willing participant. She'd even taken pleasure from it, the carnal, physical kind. But she'd hated herself too, felt violated, wished there was another way.
'I know,' she said, 'you never would … couldn't. You wear your love for me like a badge, and I love that you do. But I'm different … closed. I lock away my love, so people wonder.'
'I wonder,' whispered Caspar.
Raina's heart broke. Her eyes filled with tears. 'I will love you for all time.'
'A throwaway, frivolous love, to be tossed into the background when excitement beckons. A backup, reserve love.'
'Caspar,' she sobbed, moving carefully towards him, tears running down her cheeks, 'that is precisely the opposite of what you are.'
He turned his head away.
'Caspar.' She took his hand. He neither snatched it away, nor gripped her fingers. She held it in both of hers. 'I've never known how to tell you. Despite hundreds of years, I've never learned how to make you understand what you are to me. You are everything to me that I am to you. We are matched. In everything. Including our love.'
Caspar pulled his hand back, turned away, walked to the window.
'I want to believe you,' he said, staring at the garden, 'but this isn't the first time.'
Raina choked on his words. 'How can I show you?'
'Don't go. Stay here, with me. Find another way.' He still refused to look at her.
'And cause a war?'
'Jamie's bluffing.'
'You know as well as I do, he's not.'
Caspar ran a hand over his face, grasped hold of his hair, threw his arm away, spun towards her.
'Then yes, let him declare war. That's on him, not you. He's going to do it either way.'
'We don't know that. We don't know what he's going to say.'
'And if his price is you? For all time, as his wife? What then?'
'I'll find a way back to you.'
'If he puts you in chains? Or hands you over to the Slayers?'
'He won't.'
Caspar exploded towards her. 'You don't know that. You haven't seen him in decades … maybe he's not in love with you anymore. Maybe he was pretending, like you were. Maybe he knew it would weaken the Pagans if he could steal you away. Maybe you're playing right into his hands.'
His words were cruel, but she held his gaze. He was close enough that she could smell his scent, feel his body heat. She looked up into his eyes, swayed towards him, put her hands on his chest.
'Raina …' he choked. He placed his hands on top of hers, bowed his head. 'I can't lose you again.'
'You won't,' she whispered.
He pulled her into him. They wrapped their arms around each other, Raina's silent tears soaking his shirt.
'You never cry,' he said into her ear, stroking her hair.
Raina laughed, squeezing him tighter.
They stood like that, minutes ticking by. The world finally felt right, like all their puzzle pieces had lined up at last.
'Don't go,' said Caspar, 'Jamie …'
Raina looked up into his eyes. 'We are matched, in everything, including our sense of duty. I promise you I'll do everything I can to keep Jamie away from me. But if the choice is between war or personal sacrifice, we both know what I have to do.'
Chapter 22
Raina arrived in New York with little fanfare. A limo waited for her at JFK, whisking her to an achingly cool warehouse apartment in Chelsea. She could think of little but Caspar as they battled through the Manhattan traffic.
He'd held her for such a long time, silently mulling over the options, and had come to the only conclusion available: Raina had to see Jamie. For the good of not only the Pagan nation, but of everyone who'd be caught up in a war.
Caspar had kissed her, told her he loved her, told her not to die. He'd pulled her down onto the sofa, onto his lap, had run his hands through her hair, and clasped her to him. She'd buried her head in his chest, holding on as though, if she did it hard enough, she could stay with him. But Janet had shown up at the cottage, demanding that Raina make a decision.
'Tell Jamie I'll meet him,' Raina had said. She'd wanted to get rid of Janet before she saw Caspar.
'Good,' said Janet, primly.
Raina had wanted to punch her in the face.
'The jet's ready. The car will be here in fifteen minutes.'
Thankfully, Janet didn't accompany her; she'd stayed at the Registerium, to continue her work … whatever that was.
Raina had hastily packed her bag, Caspar helping, so they could spend their last precious minutes pressed together. They'd heard the car pull up outside, kissed one final time, then ripped themselves apart.
'This way, please,' said a Black man of around sixty. He was formal, curt. 'Jamie has assigned you this loft. I'll be here whenever you need me. Jamie's hosting a dinner tonight, in your honor. It's black tie, and he's taken the liberty of providing a dress for you. It's in the closet.'
Raina's mind raced to take in all the details. 'Where will this dinner be held?' she asked.
'In the opposite warehouse: Jamie's private residence.'
Of course. Her loft's enormous windows meant Jamie could spy on her whenever he saw fit. 'What time am I expected?'
'Seven o'clock,' he said. 'I'll escort you.'
The man left, giving her a few hours before she had to get ready. It had already been a long day, and she'd barely slept the night before. She lay on the chic king-size bed, not bothering to look at the dress she would have to wear, and fell asleep.
Raina woke to the insistent sound of knocking at her bedroom door.
'Come in,' she called sleepily, refusing to take her head off the pillow.
'You're going to be late,' said the man from earlier. 'Please get ready; I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything.'
Raina suppressed her anger. She pried herself out of bed and walked to the adjoining bathroom to shower. She didn't have time to wash her hair, nor did she want to give Jamie the satisfaction of looking like she'd made a big effort, but she needed to shower.
She closed her eyes as the curtain of steaming water hit her, relishing its soothing impact.
She eventually forced herself to turn off the water. She wrapped herself in a towel, applied a light covering of makeup, tied her hair back into a severe bun, and went to the closet to see what costume she'd have to wear.
She threw open the doors and rolled her eyes. Of course, Jamie was never one to miss an opportunity to make a statement.
Raina stepped into the vast open space of Jamie's loft. The kitchen, dining, and seating areas were one big open-plan space, and the furniture had been pushed back to allow room for dancing. The guests—about forty of them—were mingling, sipping champagne, several of them huddling conspiratorially together.
A hush fell over the room as they noticed Raina. Her tight, floor-length, backless gown of gold shimmered in the soft light. Raina surveyed them, taking a moment to study each and every one, trying in vain to identify them.
Her eyes settled on a tall, well-built man with olive skin and a perfect sweep of dark, floppy hair. A blonde woman in a tight maroon dress stood before him, her back to Raina. There was something familiar about the woman, but Raina could only see her back as she leant into Jamie, whispering in his ear. Jamie's hand rested casually on her waist, but his eyes, stormy and grey, found and then fixed on Raina.
The woman left, but Jamie barely seemed to notice, his lips spreading into a broad, confident smile. It was the smile of a spoilt rich kid, who knew he'd got his way again.
'Darling, Raina,' said Jamie, walking towards her, arms outstretched. 'My God, I've missed you.'
Raina's heart raced. She willed it to still, but biology work
ed in mysterious ways. Just seeing him made her feel as though a live wire had been touched to her skin; there had always been something raw, feral between them. He reached her, placed his hands on her arms, and gooseflesh spread out from his touch. Her hair stood on end. He kissed her cheek, sparks of desire pooling low in her belly.
But when his eyes held hers, her blood ran cold. He was a snake, a force of destruction, driven by lust, treachery, and power. He was exciting, that was for sure, in the way of a ticking timebomb, set to explode. A drug with the most unbelievable high, followed by a low that would last lifetimes.
'It must have been terrible,' said Jamie, 'for you to have been kidnapped as you were.'
His hand moved to her back, lingering there.
'And I'm led to believe Caspar started a relationship with you while you were asleep … most uncouth.' He projected his voice, giving his audience a show.
'I was never kidnapped,' said Raina, with equal volume, 'as you well know.'
'But you threw him out on his ass as soon as you awoke. Not surprising, after what he caused.'
Raina's insides lurched. 'Your spy network is admirable.'
'Indeed, it is. Let me get you a drink,' he said, offering her his arm.
She took it, hating that she had to, hating even more that her body liked the proximity.
They walked to the bar, most guests openly gaping, the rest watching from behind a thin pretense.
Jamie handed Raina a glass of champagne, took one for himself, then led her to a seating area. He sat on a vulgar red velvet loveseat and pulled her down beside him.
Raina sat at as much of an angle as she was able, but even so, their legs were firmly pressed together. He placed a hand on her thigh, tracing circles with his fingers. She had to fight the temptation to break every bone in his hand.
Her eyes flicked to the leather cuff on his wrist—every Templar wore one—and her mind conjured images of her attackers. She wondered if any of them were here, in this room; that was the kind of thing Jamie would do.
'Now, my love, tell me about this lifetime.'
'It's been dull,' said Raina, 'and yours?'
'I awoke quite early, at the age of ten. I contacted my caretaker leader, she came to get me, and everything's been wonderful ever since. I've achieved a lot. Funny how some lives are so much better than others, don't you think?'
Raina gave a half nod.
'I missed you,' he said, leaning close, so no one else could hear.
He was so close she could feel his breath on her ear. He bit her neck, not hard enough to leave a mark, but hard enough to send a warning: You are mine, and at my mercy.
Raina's hand went to his neck. 'I missed you too,' she breathed, dragging her fingernails down his delicate skin. I might be at your mercy, but don't forget who I am.
Jamie huffed a laugh into her ear. 'My God, I love you. I'd forgotten how much.'
'You forgot me?' She pressed her fingernails harder.
Jamie growled. 'We belong together. We always have.'
'Who knew you were such a romantic?'
He kissed her jaw. 'You know it's true.'
'Do I?'
He kissed her hard on the lips. She bit him, just enough to cause pain. He pushed her roughly away, laughed, brought his lips to her ear, ran his nose along it. 'I want nothing more than to fuck you right here, in front of everyone.'
'No, thank you.'
'Shame. Later then.' He pecked her on the cheek then pulled back, casting his eyes around the room, forcing their fascinated audience to avert their gaze. 'I want you to join me … to join the Templar nation. I'll drop all grievances against the Pagans.'
'What grievances are those?'
'Stealing you away from me.'
Raina laughed. 'Go on.'
'Badmouthing the Templars to the Registerium, and other nations. Poking their noses into my affairs. Accusing me of playing human politics, of manipulating stock markets.'
'Which of course, you would never do.'
'If I had, surely the Registerium would have imposed fines and sanctions. Have any such measures been taken?'
'Well then, you must be entirely innocent.'
He cocked an eyebrow. 'Not necessarily the word I would've chosen.'
'No?' She looked up at him from under her lashes.
'We could rule this world together.'
'This world?'
'It's right there, for the taking.'
'And the other nations? What of them?'
Jamie sniggered. 'As though the great Raina Halabi cares about them. Every war has casualties, but many—the wise ones at least—will come to our side.'
A shiver ran down Raina's spine. This was a trap … even if she was yet to figure out its exact nature. Jamie would never have told her these things if he had even the slightest worry she would leave. The question was whether he was planning to physically detain her, or if he had some other method of assuring compliance, aside from their supposed love.
'You have the numbers?' Raina asked. She had to find out as much as she could.
A strange smile pulled at Jamie's lips. 'We do.'
'How? Even with the most persistent of recruitment drives, the other nations are strong, especially if they unite, which they surely will.'
'We have allies.'
'Who?'
'All in good time, my love. First, I have a surprise for you.'
Jamie nodded to someone by the door.
Raina felt sick. She was being ambushed, and there was nothing she could do about it.
The door swung open, and, to her horror, Dean walked in. Dean, her ex-husband. Dean, the good, kind, honest man who she'd loved—at least the part of her who was Amari. He looked disoriented, confused, angry.
'Jade,' he said to the girl beside him—his sister—the girl in the maroon dress. 'What's going on?'
Raina knew she'd recognized her … not a gangly gazelle any longer … Her blood rushed in her ears. She had to get ahead of whatever the hell was going on, but she'd been asleep, she had no idea what Jamie was playing at, what he wanted …
Dean locked eyes with Raina, whose brow was furrowed.
She shook her head, little movements back and forth, showing him she was in the dark too. She fought the urge to act, to do something rash; Jamie obviously wanted a reaction.
Raina looked back at Jamie, whose eyes were tracing the slit of Jade's dress, a slit that extended almost all the way to the apex of her thighs. Was Jamie sleeping with Jade? Was this some bizarre love square? If so, what was Jamie's purpose?
Jamie stood, walking to the centre of the room. 'Dean, you are most welcome,' he said.
Dean whirled around, looking at the exit, but his way was blocked by two burly demons.
'What the hell is going on here?' Dean said loudly, turning back to where Jamie stood. Jade was now on Jamie's arm. 'Jade?'
Jade looked adoringly up at Jamie, her eyes the eyes of a demon. Jade was a demon? How long had she been awake?
Raina schooled her face into neutrality; Jamie was watching her now.
'Surprise!' he said.
'Jamie, what the fuck is going on?' said Raina.
'I brought you a present. You can thank me any time.'
'Dean? He's my present?'
'Yes. He ran off straight after your marriage. His disappearance allowed the Pagans to sweep in and claim you. Unfortunately, Tamsin awoke too late. Of course, you know her as Jade. Such a strange coincidence, don't you think? That a Templar demon should have been lying dormant right alongside you? Maybe your demon souls recognized each other, even if your conscious minds did not.'
It was too strange for words. 'I suppose that's possible,' said Raina, at a loss for anything more articulate.
'But you must be angry,' said Jamie.
'Angry?'
'Yes. Angry at Dean. After all, if he hadn't left you on your wedding night, you would have gone on your honeymoon. Tamsin would have awoken in time to bring you straight to me. The Pagans never wo
uld've got hold of you.'
'Dean had no idea about any of that. He was just doing his job,' said Raina.
She was pleased to find she no longer felt anything but fondness for Dean, even if he was looking at her with hatred in his eyes.
'Nevertheless, you could keep him as a plaything.'
'No, thank you,' said Raina.
'But playthings offer such stress relief,' said Jamie, running his hand down Tamsin's back.
'Take your hands off her,' said Dean, moving towards them.
His way was once again blocked by Jamie's cronies.
'Jade, what are you doing? Why's he calling you Tamsin?'
'Oh, big brother, I'm not so young and innocent as you might think,' she said.
'You're eighteen!'
'If only that were true,' Tamsin laughed, running a hand down Jamie's arm. She was all hyena these days.
'What?' said Dean. He looked to Raina for an explanation.
There was nothing Raina could say that would sound in the least bit sane, so she said nothing. What was Jamie's goal? What did he want? She cast around for clues.
'We should really cut him some slack,' said Jamie. 'Dean's been very useful to us.'
Raina didn't ask how. If Jamie wanted to tell her, let him come to her.
'Let us dance in his honor. And who better to dance with Dean than his former wife?'
The music changed from calming, classical tones to upbeat jazz. Jamie pulled Tamsin to him, dipping her back over his arm, her bare leg extending skyward.
Dean looked appalled. Raina stayed in her seat.
'Come on,' said Jamie, 'I'd hate to have to compel you; it would really ruin the mood.'
They both stayed where they were.
Two demons went to Dean and two to Raina, grabbing their arms, maneuvering them to the dance floor. Dean went, swearing extensively, demanding they take their hands off him. But Raina refused to be manhandled by babies.
She had her two on the ground in one swift movement, her muscles protesting after the heavy workout with Meredith the day before. She left them on the floor, her warning glare keeping them down.
Jamie laughed loudly.
Raina walked to Dean, but they didn't dance.
'What the fuck is going on?' Dean asked, his tone low.