by Michael Todd
He picked up the wino’s head and tossed it over the edge, then chowed down on one of the legs.
“He was too drunk to move.” The demon scowled as he talked to himself. “My food had incapacitated itself enough that all I had to do was walk over and eat it. Pretty stupid food.”
The demon looked out over the city of San Diego, watching the heat of the sun shimmer up from the rooftops. He tossed the unfinished leg to the side and picked up an arm, figuring he might as well enjoy his food in peace. There was no other demon like him on that plane at that point, and he saw the potential the modern world offered.
A buffet lay before his eyes—not just to feed his physical appetite, but a dominion he could rule unfettered.
The people were simple, ready to do whatever it took to stay alive—that was the human way. It always had been, no matter how many centuries passed. This time, though, he would take the world for everything it was worth.
The demon stood up and wiped his mouth on the wino’s torn sleeve as if it were a napkin, then tossed it to the side with a satisfied growl. His strength was returning, and he could feel the power within him surge. He wasn’t at full capacity yet, but after a few more meals he would be unstoppable.
Suddenly he sensed another more powerful demon; one above the level of his leader, even. He spun slowly and spotted the female the demon occupied. She was two buildings away, but she suddenly ran toward him at high speed. She leapt across the gap between the buildings, her eyes glaring into his.
“Oh look, home delivery!” The demon sneered.
He rubbed his massive hands together as his weight crushed the roofing material below his feet. His cold smile dripped blood as she sprinted forward, pulling one of her knives out. As he waited patiently for the girl, he heard the wailing of police sirens below him.
He growled in annoyance and moved to look over the edge of the building. As he stared at the ground, tilting his head again, a snarl left his lips.
Katie stopped in her tracks, curious as to what he was staring at. Before she could get there, though, he had leapt off the ledge.
“No,” she yelled, reaching the edge just in time to see him land.
She slammed her fists on the edge, leaving broken bricks where her hands had struck. She was strong and powerful, and Pandora was giving her everything she could without taking over.
Katie looked at the buildings to find the best place to exit, but there was barely anywhere to get down without going inside and using the stairs. She didn’t know what kind of backup this beast might have, and she didn’t want to chance entering a building without her team.
She tapped her earpiece. “Uh, Calvin? You’ve got company.”
“Turn here,” Calvin yelled, holding onto the handle on the ceiling as the cop car squealed down an alleyway and shot back out onto the main road.
The cop backed up a bit to give them a better view of the building, and Calvin stared up at the creature on top of the building. It was a big-ass motherfucker.
“All right,” Calvin began. “When I give the signal, I want you to turn on your siren for just a minute. I need to give my partner ample time to get prepared for that beast. And I… Hold on.”
Calvin looked down at his phone as Korbin’s came up name on the screen. He let it go to recording, since he needed to focus on not dying at that moment. Of course, because Korbin didn’t play that game, he called right back.
This time Calvin picked up the phone. “I’m a little busy, boss,” he said, giving them the signal to hit the siren. “We got a big one. Tracking it down, and… OH, HOLY FUCK!”
Calvin dropped the phone and looked up at the edge of the building, from which the beast was snarling at him with bared teeth. Calvin grabbed the phone again and put it to his ear.
“Calvin!” Korbin’s irritated voice assaulted him. “What the fuck is going on?”
Calvin grimaced. “Boss, we got us a big-ass motherfucker, ‘kay? I need you guys to come on over and… Well, if we don’t make it, it’s been a good run, boss. I’ll send the coordinates.”
“We got ‘em. Tracked ‘em with your phone,” Korbin replied. “Hang tight, and for fuck’s sake don’t die.”
“Right.” Calvin pressed End and looked out through the windscreen.
The demon jumped from the edge and landed in the alley the cops had used as a shortcut. When his huge legs slammed down they compacted several dumpsters, crushing them completely flat. The cement under them cracked and broke, sending small shards flying. He shook his head and took a deep breath, raising his eyebrows.
The cops were terrified. “What the fuck is that?” Stone gasped. “I don’t even know who to call in.”
Calvin reached out to stop Stone from grabbing the radio. “No need to call it in. We are the only ones certified to handle it. He would eat your entire squadron.”
“I do not doubt you on that,” Stone exclaimed, dropping his hand in his lap and staring down the alley. “What the fuck are you going to do about it?”
“Well, we have to neutralize it,” Calvin told them.
Holden was incredulous. “And what the fuck does that mean?”
“I’m not really sure.” Calvin shrugged. “It just seemed like the right thing to say in the moment. Ultimately we are going to have to take that motherfucker’s head clean off its shoulders.”
“Do you have a chainsaw?” Stone wondered.
“No,” Calvin snapped. “We fight with swords.”
“What are you, the Knight-fucking-brigade?” Holden asked from the back seat.
“No.” Calvin sighed. “We are the Damned, and we have some pretty fucking fancy tricks up our sleeves when it comes to demons. That girl on the roof—she is a most wonderful badass. Speaking of Katie, she needs to get her ass down here.”
Calvin picked up the radio and put it to his mouth.
“Hey, sweet thang,” he sang. “You gonna get your ass down here, or do I have to take this motherfucker on by myself?”
“You’re a big man.” She giggled. “Just keep him preoccupied.”
“Right,” he said, dropping the radio. “’Preoccupied.’ How the fuck do we keep a beast like that preoccupied? He could crush my body with his damn pinky. This is the kind of shit I was talking about. Brothers do not belong in dark alleyways beating fucking demon ass. Fuck.”
There was nothing but silence from the cops.
Calvin turned to them with a bright smile. “So, guys, you remember how I told you that you were backup?” he asked.
They both nodded.
“Okay, so this is what that means,” Calvin explained. “I’m gonna get my ass out of this car and be a motherfucking hero. You two are going to back the hell up. You are going to back your car to the street, and not let anyone past you. Do you think that you can handle that?”
They fidgeted uncomfortably under Calvin’s gaze.
“Yeah, got it,” they both mumbled.
“All right,” Calvin said. “Let me get out first.”
Holden started to speak, then changed his mind, then spoke anyway. “Good luck,” he managed thickly.
“Thank you. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to make my own damn luck,” Calvin retorted, throwing the door open and stepping out into the street.
Holden moved back to the front seat, pulling the passenger door closed behind him. Stone put the car in reverse and spun the tires, backing up as fast as he could. Calvin pulled out his guns and looked up at the demon, who now had his full attention on Calvin.
“All right, you goddamned bastard,” Calvin said to himself. “Come get some.”
Chapter 9
Korbin hung up the phone and hit the emergency button to sound the red alarm. He threw off his jacket and pulled on his boots, shaking his head at the trouble the two of them constantly got themselves into.
He glanced out the office window that overlooked the pit, seeing everyone rushing down to find out what was going on. He took a deep breath and grabbed the two knives Katie gave
him. He wasn’t going to go out there with half a team and not prepare them.
Korbin stomped out of the office, pulling the door shut behind him, and jogged down to the pit. When he rounded the corner, he found Eric and Derek pulling on their boots. He stopped and looked at them for a minute before handing each a knife.
“Do not lose these,” he said. “They are worth more than your fucking lives, boys. From what it sounded like, we are going to need all the help we can get in this battle.”
Eric and Derek nodded and waited for him to walk away, high-fiving and sliding the knives into their setup as soon as Korbin’s back was turned. They had watched the others fight with them, so they knew what kind of power that they held. Derek was a partner in the company, and Eric was just ready to play with the cool-as-fuck toys.
They stood there looking at each proudly, puffing out their chests with the knives on the front of their vests.
“It’s about damn time!” Derek’s face shone with pride. “How do I look?”
“Fucking badass.” Eric grinned. “And me?”
“Not entirely ridiculous, like you normally do,” Derek deadpanned.
“Hell, yeah.” Eric whooped, nodding. “We gotta get new sheaths for these beauties.”
“Yeah, we do.” Derek smirked. “And come up with names for them.”
“Mine is ‘Hell-Demon Slayer.’” Eric grunted to emphasize his manliness.
“Mine is ‘Theresa,’” Derek said, nodding wistfully.
Erik looked askance at him. “’Theresa?’ Why?”
Derek had a shine in his eyes “After this waitress I met in Tulsa one time. She was a ballcrusher in every fucking way.”
“Ohhh.” Eric chuckled in understanding. “Makes perfect sense when you know the whole story.”
“All right, big and ugly,” Calvin said, crouching and facing the demon. “Whatcha got for me, huh? You gonna eat me too?”
“I don’t like dark meat,” the demon growled. “But don’t worry, little black man. I’ll make sure you are a real ugly stain on the cement.
“Oh, okay,” he said in a high-pitched tone. “You’re going for the racial slurs. Hmm. Well, let me just tell you something, Colonel-fucking-Ward—race relations are a little different from the last time you came around.”
“Still black, still ignorant.” The demon sneered, waving a claw toward the rooftop from which Katie watched them. “Still a slave.”
“Awww, hell no,” Calvin said, lunging for the beast and swiping his sword across his shin. “We don’t have slaves anymore and Jim Crow is fucking dead, just like you are gonna be very shortly.”
Calvin lunged again, this time piercing the demon’s flesh with the blade. Steaming blood poured from the wound, but the beast dismissed it with a laugh. He swiped out with an arm, tossing Calvin across the alley and against a wall. Calvin groaned as he rubbed his chest.
“Damn,” he whispered.
Calvin got in several more licks, but nothing like what the demon did to him.
Above them, Katie/Pandora perched on the edge, looking down at the demon below. He was huge and misshapen.
I know this demon, Pandora told her.
I thought he was your brother? Katie was confused.
Him? No, Pandora scoffed. That’s one of his cronies, the greasy little fucker.
Katie sniffed. He doesn’t look so little to me.
Well, I was actually talking about what he has between his legs. You know, little fucker? Pandora managed to sound both sweet and acerbic. No?
Katie snorted. Tell me about him, and I don’t mean his goddamned pecker.
He is a weasel. A big one, but a rodent nonetheless, Pandora told her. He’s spent his existence chasing my brother and trying to be important, but he is nothing like him. He doesn’t have the speed, power, or size my brother has.
Well, that’s fucking reassuring. Katie sighed.
My brother probably sent him here to scope things out. He’s an ass. Pandora made no attempt to hide her derision. He probably figured he could come here and play out whatever plan my brother has. He always thinks he can outsmart T’Chezz, but this guy is dumber than rocks.
He seems to know his fair share of racist slurs, Katie snarled.
Pandora dismissed her anger. You know how that is—he just grabbed onto whatever he thought would make him feel smart, and there is plenty of that shit in hell. Where do you think it comes from in this world? I mean, shit…demons have been screwing with you guys for ages. They don’t really give two fucks about you, but they know if they pull you apart they can target you easier. There are all kinds of demons in your political closets.
That doesn’t really surprise me at all. Katie shook her head as she replied. I’ve been saying that for years; long before I knew anything about the Damned.
See, you knew all along! Pandora congratulated her. We are assholes. I was in politics for a while, but it kept pissing me off how everything was for men on this planet. I went back home instead and sat on my throne with my demon child servants.
What a lovely story about your home life, Katie gushed snarkily. Did you have Sunday beheadings?
Only once a month. Pandora‘s laughter chimed in Katie’s head.
That must have been the main event, Katie snickered, watching the beast’s moves. You know, your friend down there—he isn’t too bad at this, but he is mostly girth. Haven’t you guys learned that agility is much better than girth, unless you are going for smashing buildings and throwing buses? The rest of the time you get screwed by the smaller, faster people.
Pandora agreed. I’ve said that for years, but my brother is pretty much composed of testosterone, so he tends to build cock diesel fuckers and then watches them die when they can’t handle the weight of the suit. Katie felt the demon’s mental shrug. But I don’t give a shit. It’s their funerals, coming up here and trying to take over. They seriously underestimate the humans on this planet.
Well, don’t worry about that, Katie reassured her. That is all going to end very soon, and when it does, we need to be prepared to strike at the heart of this whole thing. I won’t be bullied by some massive hunk of stinky flesh, and I won’t fear for the lives of my people because those smelly monstrosities want to play puppeteer with our bodies. Fuck that!
That’s the best speech you’ve ever made.
I have a question for you, Katie began haltingly.
All right, Pandora replied. Hit me with it.
Katie winced and shook her head as Calvin took a particularly hard knock to the face. If your dumbass brother is eventually coming for me, don’t you think that we should start practicing like he is the one up here?
I see where you are going with this, Pandora purred. And I like every fucking bit of it.
Katie narrowed her eyes in determination. Then get prepared. I’m tired of this bullshit. If I need to use these powers to save my teammate and the city, Korbin will just have to deal with it.
That’s right, girl! Preach it! Pandora cheered.
There is a reason that the two of us were brought together, Katie said, stepping up on the ledge and breathing heavily. I think it’s because somebody out there knew we could kick some serious ass together.
Amen! Pandora sang, Ain’t nobody gonna break-a my stride…
Katie looked at the demon. Let me ask you…what are my chances?
I give it forty percent. Pandora sounded uncertain.
Katie pursed her lips, considering. Ooookay, and how confident are you that I’ll land where I should?
Pandora’s tone was airy. You know I don’t like to guess at those things, but think of it this way. You do it—you pull that shit off—and it will be the most epic moment. It will be one of those where if the humans win they will put it in the history books, maybe build a statue like. That kind of thing.
Riiight. Katie let out a short chuckle. I was more thinking a “thank you” from my teammate for saving his ass.
That might happen too. Pandora sighed. You humans
are so boring in your aspirations.
Because kicking ass and saving lives is so boring, Katie retorted, pulling both her knives out and holding them to her side. Here goes nothing.
Katie’s eye’s flashed bright red and she stepped off the six-story building, falling toward the beast below.
Calvin groaned and lifted the collar of his shirt to wipe the blood from his lips. He folded it back down and looked at the front of it, which was now covered in blood. At least he had taken the jacket and tie off before he played with Demon Psycho 332, or whatever his name was.
Calvin rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “You know, I paid like a hundred bucks for this shirt.” He lifted a foot and wrinkled his nose in distaste. “Not to mention my shoes; I won’t even tell you how much they were. Let’s just say that it was Sunday church clothes kind of money on this one suit. Now you got fucking blood on it, and though my drycleaner Mrs. Wong is badass, she will frown at demon blood.”
“What about your blood?” the demon taunted.
Calvin gritted his teeth as the demon pulled a light post out of the ground, dragging the wiring out with it. Sparks sprayed onto the ground as he tapped it in his hand like a ballplayer with his bat.
The demon turned toward Calvin, his voice oozing contempt. “I bet this will bash your puny little head in pretty well.”
Calvin gave the demon a hard sneer of his own and growled, “Not that puny.”
The demon hefted the pole into position over his shoulder. “Well, you pint-sized pecker, you are the one bleeding, not me.”
“Oh, we can change that if you would like,” Calvin gibed. “I’m sure if I look hard enough I can find your demon balls to chop off and roll down the alleyway.”
“It’ll be hard to do that without a head,” the demon countered, smashing the pole down right next to where Calvin was standing.
“You motherfucker!” Calvin cursed, picking himself up from the ground. “You don’t like dark meat because we make you jealous.”