Emily turned from Roderick and picked up her gown.
“It may take me some time to manage this,” she informed him. “I am used to having maids help me, and there are so many buttons…”
“Don’t give it another thought,” Roderick said, taking the gown from her hands.
He pulled her wrapper away, as Emily gasped at him, and then placed the gown over her head. He firmly turned her around and began fastening up the many buttons.
Emily stiffened, as his expert fingers worked with the small buttons. His fingers were so large, she wondered that he manipulate the buttons through the small loops. He finished the task and then turned her to face him again.
“For someone who just fell into my arms without a qualm, you certainly seem to be exhibiting false modesty at the moment,” he teased. “There, you are properly dressed. No one will be the wiser, and we can go to dinner without the landlady suspecting anything improper. That is as long as she has not kept track of how long I have lingered in your room.”
Emily lowered her eyes.
“Then it is best that we remove ourselves and do not arouse her suspicions any more than necessary,” she agreed.
He offered her his elbow and escorted her from the room. The landlady was nowhere in sight, as he guided her down the hall, brought her downstairs, exiting with her through the front door. Emily took in a ragged breath of relief, and he winked down at her. How absurd this all was, she thought.
Roderick helped Emily up into his carriage and took his seat beside her. He was using his larger carriage which was driven by his carriage driver. He wanted to focus all of his attention on her in the enclosed compartment, as they drove back to Windridge hall. There, dinner would be waiting for them.
“It must be terrible having to face losing everything because you have no wife,” she said softly, laying a hand on his arm. “I know how devastating it is to lose everything you own,” she added.
“Then you, of all people should know how nice it would be to have all those lovely things back again, through getting married to me,” he encouraged.
“Surely a marriage brought about through love, would be more enjoyable to you, than just picking someone to fulfill the terms of the will,” she suggested.
“I do not have time for love. I do not have time for love to blossom. If I give it time and it does not blossom, then it makes my task even more precarious,” he informed her.
Emily withdrew her hand and sat back against the seat, staring blankly before her, with troubled eyes.
“Silly of me not to realize that all women want that intangible illusion called love. It is overrated and only found in novels, my dear girl. Many a marriage is performed without it, and many a wife remains faithful to her husband, without demanding it.”
Emily turned and glared at him.
“Of course…that is what one expects of a wife, is it not? Only that does not stop the despicable husband from finding himself a mistress to love, to distract himself from that loveless marriage,” she spat at him.
“Hmmm, apparently, you do not approve of mistresses,” he mused.
“I would never consent to marry a man who touted one,” she said flatly.
He winced, thinking of Della. He would have to do something about Della, he decided.
“If I promised never to take a mistress, would that appease you?” he questioned.
“And still be stuck in a loveless marriage?” she fumed.
“The way we were acting earlier, love has little to do with it,” he pointed out. “If there was no love between us with the same passion that we shared not ten minutes ago, it would suit me just as well as having that evasive thing called love.”
His voice lowered to a husky note, recalling the incident.
“That is lust, not love, and lust never endures. You would get tired of my body eventually,” she predicted.
He raised his eyebrows.
“I highly doubt that,” he said truthfully.
“You say that now because it is all new,” she accused. “Who knows what tomorrow will bring?”
“Exactly! Why let the worry of tomorrow dictate to us? Certainly, it was pleasant enough to you to be kissed by me. I can promise you many more exciting experiences if you would only give me a chance.”
He reached out and placed his hand on her arm, and stroked it gently. She pushed it aside.
“I refuse to marry with the promise of lust, to distract me from a loveless marriage,” she insisted.
“You are demanding that I love you?”
“Not demanding. Only pointing out that you don’t!” she seethed, as she turned her head away from him.
“However, I do desire you,” he responded and turned her head back to face him. Then he placed his mouth over hers, causing his heart to sour at the mere touch of her lips on his again. Was this lust, he questioned himself?
Her mouth was unresponsive but he did not let that deter him, as he deepened his kiss, and pulled from her the response he was hoping for. Against her will, Emily weakened and found herself kissing him back. She despised her traitor’s heart!
“You know I have already forgiven you for your rude treatment of me on your birthday,” he said softly against her lips. “At least that will not stand between us,” he hopefully predicted.
“Perhaps love is not everything,” Emily whispered, feeling her will weaken. She hoped he would disagree with her, but she knew he wouldn’t after what he had just said.
“You are right. There are many other things in life to look forward to. Such as the procedure of bringing forth an heir,” he smiled broadly.
“You see. All you can think of is your focused outcome!” she accused. “All you want is your cursed heir! Once that is accomplished, you will throw me to the wayside and be done with me!”
“Not hardly. I could never imagine throwing you to the wayside, my dear. May I take this as your consenting to my marriage proposal?” he asked with a gleam in his eye.
“I…I don’t know. I am so confused and do not know what to do. If I don’t marry you, your cousin will make sure I could never be allowed to work in a respectable household. He will spread rumors about me, in order to keep the women from your door. And if I do marry you, I am forced to put up with your lust, and never expect a marriage built on love.”
“I would never force myself on you if you found me so loathsome,” Roderick hastily assured her. “Regardless of what you refer to as lust, I think of it as a desire for you, which I would expect you to accept willingly and respond to in return.”
“How can one not help but respond to the way you were kissing me?” Emily asked.
“If you hated me, it would not be hard to do,” he assured her.
“And this question of a mistress. Do you promise that regardless of lust or love, you will never take one while you are married to me? Would you put that in a prenuptial, so I would have grounds for a divorce if you go back on your word?”
“Divorce is an ugly word. It would assure no other man would take you as his wife,” Roderick cringed, but he knew that his answer would be the difference of her agreeing or not.
“I would rather be a divorced woman than having my husband philandering about with mistresses,” Emily insisted.
“I promise to never take on a mistress when we marry, and I will put away any mistresses that I have before I marry you.”
He decided it was better to admit he had a mistress than to lie to her and later have her discover he had been untruthful.
“You have a mistress?”
Emily pulled away from him. She might have known that maid had a claim on him, she thought angrily. She had suspected if from the start.
“Most men do,” was all he said in explanation.
“Then the maid must go!”
His mouth fell open, as he realized she had guessed that Della was his mistress.
“I said I would put her away, but I cannot discharge her. She has been in the family much too long. She has be
en with us since she was a mere girl. To just let her go because of a jealous wife, would be unfair!”
“I am not jealous!” Emily lied, “I am merely making my demands known, before agreeing to this outlandish marriage.”
“I cannot let her go, Emily. If you were my maid and mistress, would you accept losing your position, simply because you loved me, and I chose to finally marry a proper wife?”
“If I loved you, and you chose to marry someone else, I would probably flee in order not to watch you with another woman,” she admitted.
“You do not know Della. She is not only a mistress, but she is also an old friend. She got me through the loss of my wife, and I owe her a lot. I cannot dismiss her if she does not want to go willingly.”
“Very well.”
Emily tried to put herself in Della’s place.
“Only you must promise never to go to her bed if I agree to marry you.”
“There would be no reason to if I am allowed in your bed,” he assured her.
“Even if you weren’t allowed in my bed, you could not go to her and expect me to remain,” she warned him.
Roderick looked at the fire that sparked from Emily’s green eyes and felt pleased that she was showing such strong emotions concerning him.
Emily fell silent, as he searched her face. Was that the kind of marriage she wanted? She knew she wanted to share his bed. Only, could she be happy with a man who could so easily put away his mistress to marry a woman, whom he certainly did not love, even if he did desire her? It was like trading one lustful experience for another, without even considering the feeling of those involved.
At least he had enough ethics not to dismiss Della, she thought, so perhaps he was capable of some kind of emotional response, at least for his maid. But would that feeling get between him and his marriage to Emily if she consented to marry him? Could she trust him to remain faithful to her, if he never learned to love her? Would he ever learn to love her, she wondered? Why couldn’t he learn to love her first, before he ever married her, questioned?
It was then that Emily decided since she had a few months and he had offered to court her, she would give Roderick time to fall in love with her first. However, until he willingly professed his love for her, she would not agree to marry him, regardless of how much she felt she loved him. It would be humiliating to be in love with someone who cared little for you, except for the heirs you could furnish him. She would become miserable, and find herself hating him and herself as well. She lifted her eyes and stole a glance a Roderick who had been watching her intently.
“I have made up my mind,” she said quietly.
His face looked hopeful, as he leaned closer to her, but his expression changed when she continued.
“I cannot agree to marry you…”
“What…?” he interrupted, and she held up her hand.
“However, I will agree to let you court me, like any decent man seeking my hand. I will give you two months to prove to me the merits of becoming your wife. If by that time, I cannot see myself married to you, then it will give you three more months to find someone to replace me.”
Roderick frowned, but thought maybe her plan was the best. He knew how to be persuasive, and he knew that all he had to do was kiss her, to make her melt into his arms. Most of all, it would give him a chance to get to know her better.
“If that is the only way you will agree to the proposal, then why don’t we become engaged officially, this will give me certain rights as a guardian to your honor. You could come and stay at Windridge Hall without anyone questioning the propriety of it. When you see how you could be living there as my wife, by staying as my guest, then it would help you decide if that is what you want to do. Perhaps it will not take you long to decide,” he grinned.
Emily thought it over. Perhaps he was right. She would agree to it, and then she could move from that horrid boardinghouse. She could unpack all her beautiful clothes, and he undoubtedly would take her to enough outings and social events, that others would see that she was properly being courted. Certainly, no one knew the provisions of Roderick’s father’s will, except for Willard. She only hoped that Willard did not cause any problems since he apparently did not want Roderick to find a wife.
“If I am to move into Windridge Hall, then I must have permission to invite Lilith to stay there with me as well. She can serve as my chaperone, so there will be no way for you to force me into marrying you on the insistence that I was staying at your home un-chaperoned, and therefore I was compromised.”
He laughed.
“As though you are not compromised already,” he reminded her.
“Only you and I know of it, and I believe you are too much of a gentleman to announce it to the world.”
She was right. Roderick was beginning to see Emily Thornton in a whole different light. She had not intentionally treated him rude all those many years ago. It had had nothing to do with him but was a silly bet she had taken. How could he continue to hold that against her? He wondered what would have happened if she hadn’t taken that Wager? He knew he would have tried to court her back then, and maybe that forced marriage never would have happened. All the same, at the moment, she was someone he must deal with.
Roderick suddenly realized that he would not be satisfied having anyone else for his wife but Emily. He had to make her fall for him so strongly, that no matter what she learned about him, it would not deter her from marrying him. Somehow he needed to gain her trust, but how was he going to do that since he felt he could not even trust himself?
He thought of his previous marriage, and the jealousy involved. He remembered how his temper had gotten the better of him, and the horrible ending to it all. Could he risk something like that happening again? He knew he couldn’t.
Then the thought came to him, what would Emily do if she ever found out the truth about that marriage? Would she believe his side of the story or the one that everyone else thought was the truth? Unless she trusted him completely, how could she actually believe him? Even if she married him, she would leave him for sure if she thought the worse of him. He knew deep inside that he never wanted her to leave him, but how could he keep her from thinking the worse?
If he got her to fall in love with him, how strong could love be, he wondered? He didn’t know. He had never really been in love unless one counted the soft feeling he had started to have for his wife, even though the marriage had been forced. All of that had been a mistake. A terrible mistake! He could not risk that happening again. He could never give his heart so unsuspectingly again to any woman, even his wife. However, if Emily was willing to give her heart to him, he vowed to protect it as best he could.
Roderick looked down at Emily sitting beside him, and a shudder went through his body, when he thought of what marrying her would entail. Damn his father for putting him through this a second time! Would he ever escape those parental chains? Would his life ever be normal? Would Emily be able to change the past for him? Because he doubted it. He felt hopeless. What choice did he have? It had to be done, or all would be lost.
He had not counted on everything changing so drastically. Before, it had been simple. Get her to fall for him, produce an heir, and then be done with it, so he could continue his life as he had known it before, with or without a wife. The heir was the important part of the will. But as it stood, he would have to put Della on the back burner. Then, guard his heart against this woman who had a way of looking at him which caused his mind to go crazy with intimate thoughts of her. The pleasant thoughts would make his heart take a leap. The next moment, it would be racing at such a frightening pace, he wasn’t sure if he could control his own unpredictable emotions.
The carriage was pulling up in front of Windridge Hall, and Roderick had to put all his doubts and worries aside. He had to focus completely on Emily and how to make her see that marrying him could be a good choice. Not only would it enable him to keep his wealth, but there was a slim chance that it could change his otherw
ise bleak emotional future. He hoped she could find a way to be happy with him because he realized that his motives for marrying her were changing. The last thing he wanted was to hurt her!
CHAPTER FOUR
Lilith sat with her mouth open and her eyes wide in disbelief.
“The very man you had been so rude to all those years ago, is now asking you to marry him?” she asked her friend, who had just told her the most unbelievable story she had ever heard.
They sat in the parlor at the Duval home, as Emily related the story. Emily held out her hand, showing Lilith a stunning ring with a central emerald surround by diamonds.
“Not only did he ask me, but we are engaged. However, this is a trial engagement until I decide if I truly wish to marry him. I cannot go live at his house, unless you come with me, Lilith! It would be most improper, even though he claims our being engaged would make it acceptable. The truth is, I don’t want him to try to force me into marrying him, by claiming I have been compromised.”
She blushed, thinking how she actually had been compromised, to a certain extent, but brushed the thought aside.
“I am telling you, Lilith, I practically became compromised. His kiss took my breath away, but I fear he does not love me, and I will not enter into a loveless marriage.”
“If he kissed you, he must have some feeling for you,” Lilith suggested.
“Oh, little you know of men’s minds. Or perhaps you do, seeing as how you have a brother, but I think he just liked the idea of kissing me. After all, he has to persuade me in some way to consent to accept his proposal for real.”
“It would solve all your problems, if you married him,” Lilith pointed out. “He has more money than he knows what to do with, and he seems to be kind enough.”
A Bride For Windridge Hall Page 6