“There is nothing much to say about it. She drowned. Some people claim I did it, but I didn’t, Emily. I swear! Other people say she drown herself on purpose because she hated me, but no one knows. It could have been an accident!”
Emily thought of her father and how he drowned with the questions racing around in her head as to whether it was a suicide or an accident.
“Did she hate you?” she asked at last.
“I don’t know. She could have. Maybe she had her own reason to hate me, but I didn’t hate her, and I never treated her cruel. I thought our marriage could work, even though it was forced on me by my father.”
He looked so shaken, Emily did not feel she could ask him anymore about the events. However, she wanted to hear Willard’s version of the story, before she made up her mind what to believe. She realized that she would have to do it behind Roderick’s back, though, because she was certain Roderick would never agree for her to question his cousin about the incident.
“It has nothing to do with us, though, Emily.” Roderick continued, “That is behind me. It was unfortunate, and I have had a hard time trying to live down all the rumors surrounding my wife’s death, but you have to believe me. I did not want her to die.”
“I believe you, Roderick,” she told him truthfully.
She could see by the pain in his eyes that he did not want his wife to die, but she still could not trust him, or marry him, until she discovered the whole story. She did not think Roderick was going to tell her any details.
“I can see by your expression that Willard has put doubt in your mind! Damn the man, he wants to destroy me! Please trust me, Emily. My previous marriage was a devastating experience. It has put me off marrying all these years. Now that I have no other choice but to get married, you are the only woman I have ever met whom I would most likely want to spend my life with. You have to believe me, Emily. I want to marry you. I want you to want to marry me as well. You have to ignore what Willard is trying to do!”
“We still have two months to decide,” she said.
She wanted to believe him, but she couldn’t forget the look in his eyes, when Willard started bringing up his dead wife, and the way he had attacked his cousin. She realized Roderick had a temper that could get out of control. Did it get out of control enough in the past to make him kill his wife? She hoped not. He said he did not want her to die, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t the one who caused her death.
CHAPTER FIVE
Emily sat on the four poster bed, with all its elaborate draping, and tried to think her problems out. After the scene with Willard, there had been a strain between her and Roderick, and he had given up trying to smooth out the atmosphere. Finally, she told him she felt tired and wanted to take a nap, and removed herself to her room. She was tired, she realized. The last few days had been full of surprises and decisions, and heaven forbid, exciting experiences under the hands of the man she was thinking of marrying! It was all too much for her brain to sort out.
Muffin jumped up on the bed beside her, and she absently stroked the head of her beloved dog.
“What am I going to do Muffin?” she asked in a hopeless tone. “I have certainly gotten myself into a pickle!”
Muffin put his paws on her shoulder and licked her cheek, which was the only answer he could give her.
“Yes, I know, at least you love me!”
She set the dog back on the floor and lay back on the bed, staring up at the beautifully textured ceiling, with intricately carved borders. Her life was starting to spiral in a direction she had not anticipated, and pulling her into a destiny that was beyond her control.
She knew the forced marriage and the death of Roderick’s wife had affected him deeply. Possibly so deeply that he could not allow himself to love another woman, and this pained Emily because she felt that perhaps, no matter what she did, Roderick would not let himself love her. The only way she could resolve the problem was to discover the incidents surrounding his wife’s death. She wondered if Willard was the only one who knew the details? He probably was, but would he tell her the truth?
And then there was the incident surrounding the maid. She wondered if Roderick would willingly give up his mistress if he could not learn to love her in a way a husband should love his wife? Della was constantly watching her, with sad eyes, and found all sorts of excuses to touch Roderick when she was close to him. That kind of conduct by hired help, in her father’s household, was never tolerated. Servants were to be invisible, and not even gain eye contact with their employers when serving them. Only the upper help could approach the employer, and then relate it to the lower servants what the employer expected. Yet this maid acted more like a friend, or relative, than a servant to Roderick. Emily understood why, and worried the maid’s actions around Roderick, even after he married Emily, would not change.
Emily wondered if Roderick’s original plan was to marry someone for convenience sake, and keep his mistress on the side? It was impossible for him to marry Della, but perhaps his feelings for Della was as strong as he could allow for any woman. A wife would just be a reminder of his past marriage, which would hold him back from ever allowing his heart to surrender. Now he would be miserable because she would not allow him to go to his mistress, and he would have to force himself to make love to her, while not loving her at all.
Emily thought about his kisses and how they had thrilled her to a point starting to allow him improprieties before Willard unexpectedly showed up. She knew Roderick had experience in how to seduce a woman. Love probably had nothing to do with it. He just liked the touch of woman’s flesh under his hands and lips. Wasn’t that why men went to women of the night if they did not have a mistress? She hoped he had truly forgiven her for snubbing him at her birthday party. She would hate to believe this was all a sham to make her suffer for her thoughtless actions back then.
She needed to talk to Roderick. She needed to get him to explain the whole incident of his previous marriage, and then compare it with Willard’s story if she could ever talk to Willard. It would be painful for him and her both, but she could not make a decision unless he divulged the whole story to her, not just the way his wife died.
She built up her courage and decided to go talk to him before she lost her nerve to ask for the complete story. He may not want to tell her, but if he wanted her to marry him, he had better be forthright.
Emily left her room, in search of Roderick, determined to follow out her resolve. She loved walking through his beautiful home, with all the gloriously framed paintings hanging on the walls, and the statues, lining the great hall. The carpets were clearly all imported, and the drapery was made of the finest material money could buy. Fresh flowers were in vases everywhere she turned, which lent a wonderful fragrance to the air. The architecture was flamboyant, with arches, and pillars, and winding staircases. Upper halls looked down on the entrance hall below. A huge chandelier suspended on a long chain, fell from the top of the ceiling four stories up, down into the entryway, giving a dazzling welcome to visitors. The floor was of marble in the entrance hall, and polished hardwood adorned the main rooms. A ballroom expanded for a whole floor on one of the upper floors of the right wing. She idly wondered if it was ever used? She looked in each room as she passed, but did not see Roderick in any of them. He wasn’t even in his study. She was about to search the grounds and talk to the stable hand, thinking that maybe Roderick had decided to take his horse out riding in his dark mood.
Emily was just passing the parlor, where the incident with Willard had occurred when she heard voices. Recognizing one to be Roderick’s, she put her hand on the knob to open the door, but it was ajar. At that same moment, she saw someone pass in front of the door, so she paused and then she heard Della’s voice. She sounded upset, and Emily thought that maybe Roderick was taking this opportunity to inform Della of the new arrangements, now that he was about to be married.
“I do not like this silly wife you have chosen! It is perfectly obvious
that she is besotted with you! Couldn’t you find someone a little indifferent?”
“I explained to you earlier that the wife I chose did not have to meet your approval!”
Emily jerked her hand from the doorknob, and stepped back, but stood silently near the door.
“I supposed she jumped at the chance to become your rich wife,” Della laughed with a tinge of envy in her voice. “Willard tells me that she was left destitute by her father when he died, so I’m sure you are a heaven send to her!”
“I don’t want you having anything to do with Willard. You know what he did to try to destroy my last marriage! He will do anything, to keep me from finding a proper wife. I assure you, Emily is the best choice I can make! You will lose out as well if I do not marry because I could not afford to keep you on if I lose everything. As it is, it is going to take a little more wooing before Emily will feel comfortable with me. And now that Willard has put his hand in it, I don’t know how much damage he has done!”
“You certainly do not have to woo me, Roderick. How any woman could resist you is beyond me.”
Roderick chuckled.
“I know that well, Della, but don’t go believing Emily will resist me. I have already proven she can’t. However, that may not be enough to win her hand in marriage. If all else fails, I may need to completely compromise her to force her hand.”
Della laughed a little nervously.
“I realize you must go to all lengths to secure a bride, but the thought of you touching that simpering little…”
“That is enough, Della. She is going to be my wife, and you have no say in the matter. Save your envy for something else!”
Emily gasped to hear Roderick and Della discussing her so! How insulting to be discussing his future wife with his mistress, maid, or whatever she was! He had promised to put Della away, and now he was discussing with Della how he would have to compromise his intended wife, in order to force her hand in marriage, she fumed to herself. Her heart sank. He couldn’t possibly love her, and she wondered if she could continue to love him if this was the way he planned to deal with her?
She fled from the door, and out to the back garden.
Roderick continued to discuss the problem with Della, not knowing that Emily had overheard the first part of their conversation.
“Which, by the way, Della, brings me to my next line of business,”
“Yes?”
“The business of our relationship, to be exact. Emily knows about you. Heaven knows you have been hovering around me so much, that even if she didn’t know, she would guess it! I told her I would end it with you. She will not marry me unless I do. As much as I have enjoyed your company during these hard times, and the way you helped me through Abigail’s death, I am going to have to honor her wishes. Therefore, we can’t go on like this, now that I am finally going to remarry. She will not tolerate it, and I do not wish to have the distraction of a mistress while trying to please my wife.”
“Am I to leave then?”
Della felt shocked as the words choked out of her throat.
“No. I told her, I would not dismiss you, as you have been in our household most of your life. She understood. You can leave if you wish, and I will give you an allowance for your life, to repay you for the years of service you have been to me. However, if you wish to remain here, I will not put you out of my house.”
Della lowered her eyes, as a tear escaped her eye.
“I thought you loved me, Roderick.”
“Della, I have made love to you. I have never truly loved a woman. Not even my late wife. I don’t see myself loving this new wife either, as wonderful as she feels to me when I am near her. She has seen my temper, and may even back out of this marriage. My father has ruined me from making a good husband to any woman who expects love to be a part of the bargain. But you have given me as much happiness as I could expect in my situation, and I appreciate it.”
“Yes, your father has ruined everything, for you, for me, and for that woman you plan to marry. How can one man have so much power to influence life, even after his death?”
“I am afraid my father was determined in life, and in death. I only hope I can hold this marriage together, better than I did the last one!”
“That was not your fault! How could you have known Abigail loved someone else when she married you?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. It is in the past now. I have to focus on the future.”
With those words, he turned and left the room, leaving Della to accept what he had decided, whether she liked it or not.
CHAPTER SIX
Emily’s mind was in a whirl of anger, and humiliation. It would serve him right if she married him, and then refused to give him an heir! By that time it would be too late for him to remarry. She would laugh in his face, for trying to manipulate her into marriage, the way his father had tried to manipulate him into marriage.
Like father, like son! They both deserved to lose out in the end! But then, she would lose out as well, because if she did not produce an heir, Willard would inherit. She would have to remain Roderick’s wife, almost as destitute as she already was, only there would be a roof over their heads. This gave Emily pause to reconsider, marrying him at all.
Tears were cascading down her face when she reached the garden, and her body was shaking out of control. How was she going to face him, knowing that he had every intention of forcing her to marry him through his seduction of her if she refused him? He had already proven his ability to make her throw reason to the wind when he touched her. Her only real recourse was to flee, but she couldn’t even bring herself to do that. The thought of never seeing Roderick again was as painful as knowing his plans to compromise her if she tried to back out of the engagement. She either had to swallow her pride or fight him tooth and nail for her dignity.
She had been so angry, she had not realized that Muffin had been following her, faithfully, all this time. He was now whimpering up at her to give him some attention. She fell to her knees beside the loving dog, crying without control, as Muffin tried to give her comfort by lapping at her tears. All of his attempts were to no avail. Nothing would comfort her now, she thought!
Emily jumped suddenly, as she felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned to look up, at who she believed would be Roderick. She was surprised to discover it was Willard, his hated cousin. He handed her a clean white handkerchief.
“Oh, are you still here?” she sniffled.
“My cousin hasn’t been beating you, has he?” he asked with a crooked grin on his face.
“Of course not! How could you say such a thing?” Then as an afterthought, she added, “He didn’t beat his last wife did he?”
“No, my cousin is a perfect gentleman, unless he is pushed beyond endurance, and then you had better watch out for his left hook!”
He touched his sore chin.
“However, I am sure he would never hit a woman. I am afraid I goaded him into hitting me. Actually, I have always looked up to my cousin, when I was not envying him. He set the example, and I tried to follow, but I could never quite excel the way he did. A pity, because it came between us. My envy, and then mucking about to try and bring him down. You did it quite nicely at your birthday dance, by the way. I had never seen Roderick as crestfallen! I am surprised he has decided to forgive you.”
“I told you, it was a wager, I should have never taken,” Emily said, drying her eyes with his handkerchief, and then rising to her feet.
She wandered over to a nearby bench, sat down, while Willard followed.
“So why the tears?” he asked, sitting beside her. “Did he go into all the gory detail of his last marriage?”
“No.”
“So, had you told him you changed your mind about marrying him, and he gave you a tongue lashing?”
“No.”
“Then whatever has he done to make you so upset?”
“Nothing that you probably wouldn’t have done in his same situation, consid
ering you would gladly follow in his footsteps, to be just like him,” she retorted.
“Hmmm, that would take a lot of speculating to figure out.”
“Well, I will not go into it, for you to twist, and make me want to hate your cousin all the more. You seemed determined to stop me from thinking very highly of him as it is, even though you claim that you think highly of him. So if you idolized him so much, why are you trying to ruin him now?” she snorted.
“You have a point there. I do idolize him, and most heartily, now envy him once more for the prospects of having you for a wife. But I have no choice, if I am to get the inheritance in place of him. His father did leave me some money, but it is no comparison to what could be mine if good old Roderick never married.”
“You sound despicable, and I should not be talking to you! Roderick is right in keeping his distance from you!”
“I have to admit that I am not the best of cousins. If only I could find a rich wife, the way you have found a rich future husband…”
“You are handsome enough. It would be easy to find someone to fall in love with you, regardless of your lack of funds.”
“Perhaps, but it would not be as fun as bringing my dear cousin to his knees. What he doesn’t know, is as soon as I have accomplished it, I would sign it all back over to him. It is, after all, rightfully his. I just have to take him down a couple of notches, and then prove to him my real feelings for him. Otherwise, he would never believe me. It has always been the money that has come between us, you know.”
“That even makes you worse!” Emily accused. “If you truly loved your cousin, you would not put him through so much pain. Don’t you think what his father did is bad enough?”
“Roderick has never seen reason. He had everything and yet refused to marry like his father asked. His father’s health was failing, and he wanted to see his son happily married before he died, and yet Roderick refused.”
“Only forced to marry someone you have not chosen for yourself? Don’t you think that is a little cruel?”
A Bride For Windridge Hall Page 8