by Ella Fields
I ignored the residual pang that made its ugly presence known at the familiar question. “I guess something about them makes me stop, and I’m not just talking in the physical sense. I’m talking about those moments that make us truly stop and take a proverbial seat. The ones that cause the whirring in our minds to fade into a distant hum.” I drew in a sharp breath, admitting similar words I’d said to another man, a boy, all those years ago. “Does that make sense? I feel at peace. Grounded. Alive. Happy.”
Aiden’s chest rose and fell against my shoulders, and when he spoke, his voice was drenched in quiet affection. “I’ve never heard anything make more sense in my life.”
We stood there for several minutes, his arms around me, as rain started to fall outside. Drops splattered on the window and in the mulch in the flower beds and pots outside. “So…” I cleared my throat, turning in his arms, but my voice was still scratchy. “How do you feel about meeting my mom?”
“Fucking ecstatic.” And judging by the way his eyes sparkled, corroborating his words, I knew he wasn’t lying.
“Are you sure I look okay?” Aiden ran his fingers through his already beautifully mussed hair. “Not too overdressed?”
I adjusted the lapels of his charcoal dress shirt, then eyed his dark denim jeans. “You’re perfect, as always, so stop fussing.”
“But I need to be better than perfect.” I laughed, and he released a breath, nodding to himself. “Christ, I don’t think I’ve been this nervous since I asked out India Peters in the second grade.”
“Ha! I knew you started early.” I rose onto my toes to steal a quick kiss.
We left the car and approached the café where I’d told Mom I’d meet her. She didn’t know I was bringing Aiden until last night when I called, so we agreed to have coffee before he ditched us so we could shop.
Aiden stopped right outside the door, his hand clammy in mine. “You’re sure about this?”
I was about to laugh again, but then I saw the paler hue to his face. I reached up, rubbing my thumbs over his cheeks. “She’s going to love you. You and I both know that.”
He nodded, releasing a shuddering exhale.
“Can we get some coffee now? Someone kept me up late last night.”
He chuckled, nodding again, then held the door open as we moved inside the country styled interior. Brown timber tables were dressed in red checkered tablecloths, and the matching seats beneath them wore the same patterned cushions.
Seated in the back with a magazine on the table in front of her, Mom’s hair was gathered into a clip, rogue curls sprouting over the top of her head like a fountain.
She looked up as we approached, closing the magazine as her smile spread.
“She’s beautiful, just like you,” Aiden said, a tad too loud.
A voice I wasn’t expecting to hear, on account of Mom saying he’d had to work, came from behind us. “That they both are.”
“Daddy.” I spun, my hand leaving Aiden’s as Dad picked me up and squeezed me in one of his usual breath-stealing hugs.
Setting me down, he tilted my chin to study my face. “You’re looking good, Stevie girl.”
“You too,” I said, meaning it. His blond hair showed more evidence of gray, but his blue eyes were vibrant, happy.
“Not having any kids around to suck the life from you will do that,” he said, turning to Aiden when he’d laughed.
“Aiden, right?” Dad held out his hand. “Brad.”
Aiden was almost two inches taller than Dad. “Great to finally meet you, sir.”
Dropping Aiden’s hand, Dad’s nose scrunched. “None of that, makes me feel old.”
He gestured behind us to the table, and after Mom introduced herself to Aiden, patting his cheeks as she looked from him to me with a wide smile and wet eyes, we ordered drinks.
Within minutes of them arriving, Aiden had my dad in fits of laughter as he regaled him with tales of some of this season’s blunders. Dad was more into football than baseball, but he still followed and watched a game now and then, and as they kept chatting, it was evident he was thrilled to be talking to Aiden.
Though I didn’t miss the moments when he’d catch himself after laughing too hard and look at me as if remembering this guy was dating his daughter.
That was made evident when Mom said to Aiden, “Stevie’s never even brought a boy home before. She wasn’t much for dating growing up.”
“Mom,” I hissed, “unnecessary.”
Aiden only grabbed my hand, peering down at me with his head tilted. “Oh, really?”
“Yep,” Mom said. “And here Brad thought he’d be chasing them away with his set of unused golf clubs.”
“I bought them for that purpose, actually.” Dad sighed, then lifted a pointed brow at Aiden. “Though I guess there’s still time.”
Aiden chuckled, knowing he was joking, and we eased into casual conversation about work, classes, and talk of when I was coming home to visit.
“Hendrix called last week,” Mom said, draining the last of her coffee.
Her words gripped my stomach, and I prayed it didn’t show. Mom already knew enough. Knew exactly why I’d never had any real boyfriends.
“They’ve stopped in a small town a few hours south.”
Dad nodded. “Apparently, they’ve scored a regular paying gig at one of the bars there, and they need the money.”
Mom’s lips pinched; her eyes trained on her empty coffee mug.
I knew, for as much as they both wanted Hendrix and the rest of the guys to live their dream, that their quest was starting to become a concern. Mainly financially. My parents thought the bug would’ve died by now. That their hunger would have waned, and they’d return home with new prospects.
I knew better. “Everything okay?”
Dad tapped his knuckles on the table, smiling a grim smile. “Just the drinking. Hendrix didn’t sound so happy is all.”
“He’s drinking more?” I asked.
“No,” Mom said, giving me an apologetic look. “It’s Everett.”
Beneath the table, Aiden’s hand tensed tight around mine, and even though I knew it was wrong to need him where Everett was concerned, I was thankful for his grounding touch.
Within seconds, I shook the concern that threatened to soften the cracks Everett had caused, and I smiled. “I hope he settles down, then.” I swallowed the remainder of my coffee.
Mom frowned, her gaze bouncing back and forth between me and Aiden, but then she quickly replaced it with a smile. “Well.” She turned to Dad. “Ready for some shopping?”
Dad’s expression soured. “Do I have a choice?”
We laughed, and even though it was the last thing I wanted to do after hearing about Everett, I gave Aiden a brief kiss goodbye, then headed into town with my parents.
The squawk of birds faded with the sun, the busy hum of town easing as sunlight prepared to change shifts with darkness.
I’d gone home, dumped the bags full of clothes onto the kitchen counter, then raced to the shower to rinse off the busy afternoon spent bouncing from shop to shop.
My parents credit card surely took a beating, but I’d tried to lessen it as much as I could by picking discounted items even when Mom caught on and scowled.
Stopping by Belladonna’s to grab the pizza I’d ordered, I then raced back down the street. Shadows curled over the concrete with every step I took toward Aiden’s apartment, six streets away.
Wiping the beads of sweat dotting my forehead, I rapped lightly on his door, hoping he was home. Too eager to see him after leaving with Everett lingering in his ears, I hadn’t thought to check.
“Who is it?” he called.
“Me,” I said.
A paused breath, then, “It’s open.”
I turned the handle, pushing the heavy door open with my hip, then kicked off my boots.
Walking farther into his apartment, I was about to call out when I passed the living room and saw him sprawled over his black leather sectiona
l.
Something wobbled and tilted inside me at the sight of his marred brows. He stroked a finger across them, his lips rolling over each other as he tossed a baseball with his other hand, not looking as it fell into his palm.
“I come bearing pizza,” I said, entering the room and setting it on the glass coffee table.
The smacking of the ball hitting his hand ceased, and his gaze moved to the box. “Pepperoni?”
“Duh.” I smiled, but it fell when he didn’t look at me.
Not sure what to do, I walked over to the couch, my knees resting against the cool material as I looked down at him. He was still wearing the same clothes he’d worn to meet my parents. “You okay?”
A sigh pushed past his lips, and he dropped the ball, finally giving me his eyes. “Just been busy being petulant.”
I lowered my lashes. “Can I interrupt for something?”
“That depends. I rather like being mopey every now and then.”
I couldn’t contain my smile and crawled over him when he held his arms out. My forehead dropped to his, and then my lips fixed themselves to his mouth. “See, they loved you.”
He didn’t say anything, dragging his lips over mine.
Then I was flipped to my back, and he was tugging up my purple T-shirt dress. “I love you.”
Dark and bottomless, his eyes flared, hooking into my chest and daring. The words were hanging on the tip of my tongue as his own caused my bruised heart to dance.
My legs opened wider, and I reached down to tug off my socks. “Show me.”
Maybe it was the reminder of Everett, or maybe it was because by his standards, I was ready. Either way, as our clothes came off and he carried me down the hall to his bedroom, my legs around his silken hot skin and his lips glued to my neck, it was happening.
I was thrown to the bed, and I rolled onto my stomach, watching as he grabbed a condom and tore it open with his teeth.
The action had my thighs clenching, my teeth scraping my lip. “Wait,” I said.
His brows rose in question as I scooted over to the side of the bed, swung my legs over it, and tried not to think about how brazen I was acting when I spread them open. I grabbed the back of his muscled thighs, pulling him close so that thick, long member bobbed and swayed in front of my face.
“Petal,” Aiden started.
His mouth shut when I licked the salty drop beading on the tip. “This is the first time I’ve done this,” I admitted, slowly lifting my eyes to his.
He swallowed, his hand coming to rest beneath my chin, and his thumb gliding over the corner of my mouth. “You’re serious.”
I nodded. “So I’m sorry if I suck, pun intended.”
We both laughed, and then I took him as far as I could inside my mouth, and his laughter broke into a stream of curses.
He allowed me to find a rhythm that I was comfortable with, but I still gagged a few times as I tried to get as much of him inside my mouth as I could. I gave in and decided to just suck and lick to the best of my ability, reveling in the noises that dragged out of his throat when my other hand reached beneath to gently caress him.
“God, lie down.” He stepped back, leaving my mouth with a wet sound.
“I wasn’t done,” I protested.
He grinned, shaking his head. “I will be soon, but even though I plan to come many times with you tonight, I don’t want the first time to be in your mouth.”
I licked my lips as he rolled the condom he’d been holding in his hand over himself, then I did as requested and lowered to the bed.
He stroked himself as I eyed the twitching of his pecs, abs, and arms. He was barely restrained power, and having him crawl over top of me and swipe his fingers over the wet between my thighs was almost like having an out-of-body experience.
“You’re magnificent,” I breathed.
He thrust a finger inside me, then slowly pulled it back out, lashes heavy as he watched my reaction. “Magnificent?” I nodded, and he chuckled. “I haven’t been inside you yet.”
My legs wound around him, my hands roaming over the bumps in his arms and shoulders, feeling them twitch until I reached his face. “Then hurry up.”
Pushing at my entrance a second later, he eased inside as our foreheads met. My body awakened further, stretching to accommodate, gripping and lubricating for more.
“Aiden.”
“Mmm, you feel so fucking good.” A stumbling breath peppered my lips. “This… I can’t believe I’m finally able to do this.” His lips grazed mine, his hips slowly pulling back before pushing forward again, deeper, as deep as he could go. “And holy hell, it’s better than I ever could’ve dreamed.”
“Aiden,” I tried again, my voice struggling to rise over everything my body was feeling.
“Fuck,” he said, seated deep and grinding his pelvis into mine.
“Aiden,” I snapped, gasping as he continuously hit that perfect spot. “Shit.”
His licorice eyes narrowed, and he lowered onto his forearms. “What’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”
“No, you adorably, ignorant hunk of man,” I sputtered out, my eyes closing when his hips stilled. I opened them, and blurted everything that’d been gathering, collecting, and coalescing since I’d met him. “I… I’m in love with you.”
His breath washed over my cheeks, his own hollowing with the escaped rush of air. Then he blinked, a crooked slant to his lips. “My cock’s that good, huh?”
I ignored the words, and instead, I listened to the vulnerability lingering beneath them. Moving my hands over his cheeks and into his hair, I pulled him close, nose to nose, until every breath we inhaled and exhaled was shared, and he looked at me.
“You’re my best friend, and the best thing to ever happen to me,” I whispered. “So yes, your cock is that good, but really, I’m just a chicken shit who’s been too afraid to utter those words to someone again. Even if I’ve been feeling them for months.”
“Months?” His voice croaked.
“Months.”
He stared a full minute longer, then his arms swept beneath me, holding my chest to his as his hips started moving, and his tongue swept inside my mouth.
Beat for beat, our hearts pounded to each other through our slick flesh, and my nails dug into his back as he slowly carried me up the hill, then gently pushed me over the edge.
He followed, groaning his pleasure into my mouth as our bodies quivered and our hearts thumped like wild beasts that’d been caged for too long.
And afterward, as he lay half on top of me stroking the skin on my arm with his lips against the side of my forehead, he murmured, “Say it again.”
I turned into him, smiling into his clammy chest. “I love you.”
He sighed, his arm moving to my back, gripping me so tight, there was no space between us. “I love you too.” He kissed my head. “I fucking love you too.”
We spent the summer jumping between my place and his apartment.
Aiden usually went home, but claiming he didn’t have many people to see there besides his dad and some old high school friends, he’d decided to stay behind.
I had to work, but as much as I was starting to finally miss home, I wasn’t ready to go back just yet. Mom understood when I’d called and told her I had to stay, but she made me promise I’d come home for Christmas and at least stay a few nights.
That I could do, and it became easier to look forward to after I’d asked Aiden to come with me.
Mom and Dad had visited last Christmas, but I couldn’t continue to hide behind my job and Adela.
“It’s serious, then.” Adela smirked from the couch as I flitted about the apartment, collecting miscellaneous items I probably wouldn’t need for the trip home.
“He’s already met them,” I reminded her, plucking up a paperback and studying it. I wasn’t sure if it was mine or Adela’s.
“Yeah, but sleeping under their roof?” She tutted. “You might be twenty, but in Brad’s eyes, you’re still his little boyfrien
d-less, innocent girl.”
“Ew. Don’t refer to my dad by his first name. It’s weird.”
“Calling someone mister who looks that good when he’s pushing fifty just isn’t right. I’m doing you and myself a favor.”
I tossed the paperback down. “First my brother, now my dad?”
She licked her finger, turning the page in her book. “Not my fault your family has good genes.”
A knock on our door had me walking over to hug her, then I pinched her arm for being a brat. “Merry Christmas, turd.”
Her laughter followed me as I left. “I’d check under your pillows when you get home for that!”
On the other side of the door, Aiden’s eyes were curious. “Ignore her,” I said, heaving my duffel over my shoulder and grabbing my purse.
Aiden took it from me. “Merry Christmas, Adela.”
“Merry Christmas, gorgeous.”
I grumbled as we made our way down the steps to where his car was idling by the curb.
After opening my door, he took my bag to the trunk.
I slid inside and clipped on my seat belt, Aiden’s cologne and the clean scent of his car loosening my tense limbs.
“So where exactly will I be sleeping?” he asked once we’d hit the highway, my hand wrapped in his. “In a cupboard beneath the stairs?”
I snorted. “Sure thing, Harry. Except we don’t have stairs. One story.”
He forced a pout. “One day, I’ll get to live out my dream as The Boy Who Lived.”
“You’ve been doing a lot of living, if you ask me.”
That dangerous tilt shifted his lips as he swung a sweeping look over me. “True.”
I was glad when he gave his attention back to the road. Months of dating, of letting him get familiar with every part of my body, still hadn’t hindered his ability to make me blush.
I grabbed his phone to distract myself. Not only from him, but from the fluttering fear and excitement that returning home for the first time since I’d started college erupted.
Scrolling through the mega long playlists, I skirted the heavy metal, RnB, and felt my stomach dip when I found Dashboard Confessional.