by A'zayler
“Chill out, Emelia. It’s over with now, baby. We don’t have to talk about this anymore.” He pulled her to him and hugged her.
She cried for a few more minutes, but stopped long enough to drop a bomb on him. “I left you because I was pregnant, Angel.”
Wait a minute. Did he hear what he thought he’d heard? To be sure, Angel pushed her away from him so that he could see her face. “Come again?”
Snow’s lashes were wet and stuck together as she batted them slowly. “I was pregnant.” Her voice was just as low as it had been before.
“What? Why didn’t you tell me?” Angel questioned before taking a few steps back.
He could feel himself getting angry and didn’t want to accidentally hurt her.
“I didn’t want to ruin your life, Angel.”
Angel’s head turned to her quickly. “Ruin my life? A baby with you would have been the best thing that could have ever happened to me, to us, to our family! Why would you hide something like that from me?”
Snow shook her head and wiped at her face again. “You’re saying that now, but we were kids then. You wanted to be a doctor more than anything in the world. Had I told you I was pregnant, you would have stayed in California, and I didn’t want that for you. I wanted you to follow your dreams and be happy.” She sniffed back the fresh set of tears resting in her eyes. “I left you for you. It was the best decision.”
Angel’s world felt like it was spinning as he slid to the floor in front of her. With his knees up and his elbows resting on them, Angel held his head in his hands. His mind was all over the place trying to make sense of her admission.
“What happened to my baby?” he heard himself whisper.
“Some stuff went on, and I ended up having a miscarriage.”
Angel breathed a sigh of relief. His chest had been tight up until that moment. The last thing he’d wanted to do was hate her for aborting his child.
Snow slid onto the floor in front of him and grabbed his hands from his head. “When I had the miscarriage and went through everything that I went through, I figured that was the world’s way of telling me that we weren’t meant to be.”
“Did your parents know?”
“My mom did. I made her promise not to tell anyone.” Snow sat comfortably on the floor. “After I lost the baby, I threw myself headfirst into the cartel. At first it was a coping mechanism for losing the both of you, but then it became my life.” She shrugged. “In the world of drugs, I don’t have to care or feel anything.”
“But with me, you care and feel everything?”
She nodded, and oddly, Angel understood.
“I’m sorry, baby girl.” He opened his legs and pulled her to him.
Snow went willingly. With her arms circled around his neck, she held him to her. “Angel?”
“Mmm?” he mumbled.
“Was it easy for you to leave me?”
Angel squeezed her tighter. “Hell fucking no. I don’t think I ever got over it.”
“Me either. I always thought that was weird being that we were so young and didn’t even know what real love was.”
Angel pulled his face away from her body. “I don’t care how old we were, what I felt for you was real.” Slow and softly, Angel’s hands slid up and down her bare back. “I ain’t never loved nobody like that, not even Genesis.”
“Juan and I were never like you and me. What we had was more of a business relationship with fun times. We never did the lovers thing for real. That was actually one of the main reasons why I allowed him to live after catching him with my best friend.” Snow pushed backward some so that she was seated on the floor. “He didn’t know about the way I loved you, but she did. She should have never done that.”
Angel watched the way Snow’s facial expression changed as she spoke of her friend’s betrayal. She’d gone from having tears in her eyes to having them squinted tightly in a scowl.
“Forgive me for not understanding why you’re still so mad at her, and not at that nigga.” Angel spoke as evenly as possible, being careful not to make her angry with him.
Unfortunately, the softness of his voice meant nothing to her. She proved that by hopping from the floor and removing the rest of her clothing and getting into the shower. Angel sat in place, trying to decide whether he felt like patting her up or allowing her to continue throwing her very unnecessary tantrum.
After removing his clothes, he joined her in the shower. Though in the back of his mind all he wanted to do was go back down the stairs and sit with his parents, he didn’t. If he brushed off her attitude and acted as if it was no big deal, he was more than positive that the problem she had with Juan would turn into the problem she had with him, and Angel didn’t want that.
“You’ve been cutting up bad today. I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you need to check that shit. You were good earlier, then you came home acting like the damn Wicked Witch of the West,” Angel said.
Snow’s chocolate face was hard before, but curved into a small smile as Angel stood in front of her vocalizing her antics. “Shut up. You just don’t understand.”
Angel grabbed her waist and pecked her head. “Make me.”
Snow looked away and played with the streaming water before reaching up to grab his shoulders. “I killed her because I felt like she took advantage of me. I’d told her all of my deepest feelings, including the ones I had for you, and she took them and used them against me.”
“You’re talking in circles, Emelia.”
“I told her that I would never have sex with someone that I didn’t love, and that included Juan. She pretended to understand, but I found her in my bed with him the very next day.” Snow scoffed. “That little bitch. She knew that I’d tried having sex with Juan on multiple occasions but could never go through with it because I loved you, and she used it as her way to get him. Conniving li’l trick.”
“So, you killed her for betraying you, not because she slept with your nigga?”
Snow nodded before moving around him and stepping beneath the stream of water.
“I’ll kill anyone that betrays me.” Her voice was cold as it flowed over her shoulder.
Angel stood stuck, unsure of how he wanted to respond. It was obvious that she was warning him not to follow in Juan’s footsteps, but she didn’t have to do that. He would never willingly betray her, and she needed to know that.
With his chest to her back, Angel wrapped one of his arms around her chest and held her close. “You think I’d betray you?”
Snow said nothing, but shrugged her shoulders instead.
“Answer me.”
“You never know what a person might do, so it’s better to just stay prepared.” She turned in his embrace. “Do I think you’d betray me? Probably. Do I want you to? Of course not.”
“Damn.” Angel was flabbergasted at how little she thought of him. “That’s fucked up.”
Snow maintained eye contact with him as she raised one of her eyebrows. “You chose a woman over your family, you can’t blame me for feeling the way I feel.”
It just got worse and worse with that girl. Angel was so offended that he couldn’t even think of one thing that he wanted to say to her. Versus continuing to take her offensive remarks, he showered and left her in the shower alone. Once he had her towel secured around his waist, he left her room and went to his.
Being that they were practically next door to one another, he hadn’t run into anyone in the hallway. Too tired to do anything other than lie down, Angel released the towel from his waist and fell face first onto the bed. Clearly, he was a lot sleepier than he’d known, because as soon as his eyes closed, he was out.
Chapter Nineteen
Love makes people crazy
“I can’t believe you actually think you’re better than me. I handle my gun way better than you handle yours.” Emelia laughed.
“Man, please. Your daddy has you thinking that, but I’m really better.” D’Angelo smiled down at her as they t
ook the long path to their houses.
Emelia pushed through the trees as they made their way through the trees and tall flowers. She and D’Angelo had just left from grabbing some milkshakes and were on their way back home.
“Well, we’re going to have to go to the range together one day so I can show you my skills,” Emelia joked.
“Why we can’t go right now?”
Emelia held her stomach with a small frown on her face. “That milkshake got my stomach hurting.”
D’Angelo walked closer to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Emelia’s first instinct was to pull away, but he held her closer.
“Chill out, girl. I’m just trying to comfort you since you’re feeling bad.”
Emelia wasn’t really feeling their contact because it felt too intimate, but she didn’t push the issue. D’Angelo was always trying to be too touchy when they were together anyway, so she was somewhat used to it. Still didn’t care for his advances, but since they were almost home, she’d let it slide. They were both quiet for a good minute as they walked, but D’Angelo interrupted the silence.
“Emelia, you know I like you, right?”
Emelia’s stomach flipped. “I know, that’s why we’re friends.”
“I don’t like you like a friend, though.” He stopped and stepped in front of her. “I like you as more than that.”
“More?” Emelia asked to be sure she was hearing him right.
D’Angelo nodded. “I was thinking maybe you could be my girlfriend. Since we’ve been hanging out, I think I’ve fallen in love with you.”
Emelia looked away and held her head down so that she was looking at the dirt beneath her feet. When she didn’t speak fast enough, he got a little more aggressive and grabbed both of her arms.
“Nobody has to know. It can just be between us. I just want you all to myself.”
Emelia’s young mind was all over the place, but one thing she knew for sure was that she loved Angel. D’Angelo was cool to be around, but that was it. She’d never looked at him as anything more than a friend.
“I’m sorry, D’Angelo, but I love Angel.” She looked up at him slowly.
When she finally met his eyes, she could see the anger behind them. It was so strong that she momentarily felt afraid.
“Just because you love him doesn’t mean you can’t love me too. He’s not even here. He left you!” D’Angelo began yelling. “Why would you even still love him after he did some shit like that to you?”
Emelia shrugged while still holding her stomach. “I don’t know, I just do.”
“You’re so stupid for still loving a nigga that doesn’t give a fuck about you.” D’Angelo brushed past her, bumping into her hard enough to make her fall.
Emelia hopped off the ground, dusting the dirt off her hands. “You can’t get mad at me because I don’t want your ass,” she screamed at his back.
“I’m not mad about that shit, you were just in my way.”
“I wasn’t in your way, you just have an attitude because I love your brother and not your pathetic ass.” Emelia was so busy dusting the dirt from her hands that she didn’t see him coming toward her, and by the time she did, it was too late.
Her small body was rolling and slamming into all kinds of things as she tumbled down the hill. She hit trees and a host of logs and other things along the way. She was moving with so much force that she even accidentally kneed herself in the stomach. She screamed and cried for it to be over, until she slammed forcefully into a large tree trunk.
“D’Angelo,” she cried to herself. “Why would you do that?” She continued to cry as she tried to pull herself from the ground.
She was in so much pain that she couldn’t figure out what was hurting the most. Everything on her body ached the entire time she walked home. By the time she’d finally pulled herself from the ground and got back to the top of the hill, D’Angelo was gone. Her clothes and face were such a mess, it made her glad that the path was directly behind her house, and no one would see her. The dried-up tears on Emelia’s face were covered by dirt and a little bit of blood by the time she stood in the foyer of her home.
Since it was late in the evening, she’d known that her father wouldn’t be there. Her mother was a different story. When she went into the house, Zulema was sitting on the sofa talking on the phone. The second she laid eyes on Emelia, she dropped the phone and came to her.
“Oh, my baby, what happened to you?” She touched all over Emelia’s face.
Emelia winced in pain before bursting out in tears again. “Come on, let’s go upstairs before Daddy comes.”
Zulema looked like she wanted to protest but followed Emelia anyway. Once Emelia’s bedroom door was closed, her mother was right back on her.
“What happened to you?”
“I was coming through the path and fell down the hill,” Emelia lied.
On the rest of the way over, she had analyzed every scenario that she could possibly tell without causing a rift between the families, and couldn’t think of one. Though her parents and D’Angelo’s parents were friends, they were also business partners. Naturally, parents would take up for their children, and the last thing she wanted to do was cause trouble, so she’d decided to keep what D’Angelo had done to her to herself.
“Lord, come on. We have to get you to a doctor.” Zulema stepped back to examine Emelia’s injuries, but stopped and looked back at her face. “Emelia, there’s blood on your pants . . . why?”
Emelia looked down, and just like her mother had said, there was blood soaked through the crotch and down both legs of her jeans. Tears gathered in her eyes because she already knew what was wrong. Overtaken with grief, she fell to the floor and bawled her eyes out.
Zulema kneeled in front of her. “Emelia, were you raped? Tell me right now. Did somebody do something to you?”
Emelia cried even harder as she listened to her mother go off about calling the police and finding out who’d hurt her. When it got too overwhelming, she blurted out a truth that would rock her mother’s soul but give her understanding at the same time.
“I’m pregnant, Mommy,” she whispered.
Zulema grabbed both sides of Emelia’s face and held it up so that she could see her. “What? Since when? By who? Why didn’t you tell me?” She, too, was now crying.
Emelia fell over into her mother’s arms and told her all about her secret pregnancy with Angel’s baby.
Snow wiped the lone tear that had just slid down her cheek as she lay in bed thinking about the day she miscarried her and Angel’s baby. That had been one of the worst days of her life, and it hurt just the same, no matter when she thought about it. She’d made her mother promise not to tell Empress about the baby, too afraid for Angel to find out.
Some days she wished he had found out, but she didn’t dwell on it. She was young and couldn’t change what happened. In her heart, she still wanted to kill D’Angelo, but she’d even hold that down until the time was right. She’d had plans to keep her child and maybe even become a family with Angel one day, and D’Angelo ruined all of that for her.
Another tear fell, and Snow wiped it away. No need to cry over the past. God had blessed her again, and for that she was grateful. Only a few days pregnant with her and Angel’s second child, Snow cradled her stomach and said a quick prayer for a healthy baby. She’d found out the day before and was waiting on the right time to tell Angel. She’d thought about telling him right after telling about the miscarriage but had changed her mind.
“We’ll tell Daddy when the time is right.” Snow rubbed her flat stomach. “Ain’t that right, Angel baby?” She smiled to herself before reaching for her beeping phone.
She’d just gotten a text about a money drop-off that she needed to handle the next morning. She replied with the necessary specifics before placing her phone back onto the charger and closing her eyes.
It had been almost two hours since Angel had left her in the shower alone, and though she wanted to run t
o his room and check on him, she hadn’t. At no point did she want Angel to get the wrong idea about any of the things she’d said, because she’d meant them. They may have come out a lot harsher than she’d intended, but that was still the way she felt. If only he could understand.
Snow sighed loudly as she kicked the covers from her body. She wanted Angel. It was torture to know that he was so close and she couldn’t get to him. The fire that burned deep inside her for him was so strong that she found herself outside his door within minutes.
She’d held out long enough. It was time for her to go get her man. Snow had been completely sure of herself up until she was inside his room and standing at the door watching him sleep. She wanted to kick herself for staying up worrying herself about him, when he’d been in his room asleep the entire time. Apparently, not thinking about her.
“Bastard.” She rolled her eyes.
“Call me another bastard, and see what I do for you.”
Snow gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. “I didn’t know you were awake.”
Angel shifted some in the bed, but kept his eyes shut. “I wasn’t until you walked in.”
“How? I was quiet as hell creeping in here, and I know I was because I didn’t want your mama to catch me.”
A small smile curved his lips. “My mama ain’t thinking about your ass. She knows I’m fucking the shit out of you. She ain’t coming up here.” Angel rolled over and finally opened his eyes. “Empress ain’t trying to see this dick. Trust me.”
Snow was giggling as she stood unmoving in front of his door. “You really need to stop talking like that.”
“Why? It’s the truth. Empress is a lot of shit, but crazy ain’t one.”
“Well, at least that makes one of us.” Snow scratched at her head nervously. “I’m batshit crazy sometimes.” Her eyes wandered to his face again.
He rested his head in the palm of his hand. “Why you say that?”
“I just am.”
Angel extended his hand to her. “It’s all right. Love makes people crazy. You’ll be fine.”