by Carmen Green
“I like the model wearing the necklace.”
She walked to the bed, stood beside him.
He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He laid his head on her breasts. Never had he felt such tenderness and pure lust for a woman.
“I want you, Chris.” Bending down she touched her lips to his head. “I really want you out of those briefs.”
He moved his hands over her hips, rubbing her buttocks, and leaned back. “If you want them off, take them off.”
Smiling, her hand slid inside his briefs. Slowly, her touch moved down the length of him. He gritted his teeth as she stroked him, once, twice.
“Take them off for me,” she whispered and stroked him again.
He groaned in pleasure. Moving his hands from around her, he grabbed the waistband of his briefs, lifted his hips and pulled them down.
He placed his hands on her shoulders, moving them down her breasts, her stomach, over the triangular patch of hair that covered her. “I like the way you feel,” he said.
She shuddered and released her hold on him. “I like the way you feel me.”
He continued to stroke her, watching as desire heightened with each movement.
A few strokes later, she moved his hand. “Condom?”
“Nightstand,” he replied.
“Don’t go anywhere,” she whispered.
“I’m not.”
She opened the drawer to the nightstand and removed a single foil.
He reached out to take it from her, but she pushed his hand away. “Allow me,” she said and took her own sweet time putting it on him. “I never knew putting a condom on a man was such a turn-on,” she said and moved so that her legs were on either side of his.
“Glad I could help.” He rubbed the inside of her thigh, loving the feel of her soft skin.
“Chris. I’m going to take you now.” She straddled his hips, her knees braced on either side of his hips.
He gripped her hips, kneading her soft flesh. Reaching down between them, she wrapped her hand around him and slowly lowered her hips.
He looked down, watching her guide him inside her warm entrance. Inch by inch, she welcomed him inside her, rocking in a lazy, rhythmic seduction. He fought the urge to thrust hard into her warm core instead; he let her set the pace. Driving him crazy with need.
A hot coil of tension swirled at the base of his spine, growing tighter and tighter. He lost grip on his control when her inner muscles tightened around him, milking him. Her cry of pleasure and wild thrusting of her hips sent him over the edge. His deep, guttural groans filled the room as pleasure overwhelmed him.
* * *
They arrived in Birmingham the next morning shortly before ten o’clock. Renee would have gone directly to her aunt Gert’s condo, but knew it would be a waste of time. Aunt Gert had plans to spend most of the day being pampered, which meant she was getting her hair, nails and makeup done before the dance.
For the first time in weeks, she could relax, but there was a feeling of restlessness inside her that she couldn’t shake.
“What’s wrong?” Chris asked, watching her wander around the kitchen.
He would notice. He seemed to notice everything about her. “I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something, but I don’t know what.” She threw up her hands in frustration.
“Everything’s covered for tonight,” he said.
“I know but…” She shook her head.
“You need something to do. Come on, we’re leaving.” He got out of the chair.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
Mountain View Bowling was fairly empty. A few teenagers gathered in a line on the other end of the building.
“I can’t believe you’re taking me bowling,” she muttered.
“You’ll like bowling.” He sat in a chair and took off his street shoes.
“How do you know?” She sat down in the chair next to him and put on the rented bowling shoes. “I haven’t been bowling in years.”
“It involves math and you’re the math queen,” he said after typing in their names on the computerized score sheet.
“That’s really stretching it.” She laughed.
“Whatever works. You’re up first.”
The first gutter ball was a sign of things to come.
He didn’t bother to hide his smile when she pouted. “Hold your wrist straight when you release the ball. Watch my wrist.”
She watched his wrist and his butt and frowned when he made a strike. She gave him a hard look.
“What?” He held up his hands.
“How often do you go bowling?”
“I haven’t been in a couple of months,” he said.
She picked up her ball and concentrated on keeping her wrists straight and threw another gutter ball.
“You are the worst bowler that I’ve ever seen,” he declared a half hour later.
“I have excellent bowling skills. I do gutter balls really well,” she said.
He shook his head. “When your score is two, that’s not good. Time for plan B.”
She put on her shoes. “What’s plan B?”
“Going to the bookstore,” he said.
Ten minutes later, he followed Renee into the bookstore. He watched her scan the new-books section. The tension he’d seen on her face earlier was gone.
In the café, he tried to concentrate on the magazine he’d selected, but he kept watching Renee. The time they had together was coming to an end. He wanted to make time slow down, but it wouldn’t. He would leave like he’d always done in the past. Soon, he’d be in Washington, D.C., living his life in a new city. He’d soon forget about her and the way she made him feel. Hours later, he was still trying to convince himself that he could forget her.
* * *
Arriving fifteen minutes before the dance began, they took the elevator to Aunt Gert’s floor. Renee was nervous and excited. She couldn’t wait to see her great-aunt’s face. There was also sadness in her heart because she knew Chris would leave her soon. She wouldn’t think about that now. She rang the doorbell and Aunt Gert answered.
“Don’t you look lovely. Where did you find that dress?” She gave Renee a hug.
“A store in Los Angeles,” Renee said. “You look great yourself.”
Aunt Gert wore a silver tea-length dress and silver shoes to match. The necklace and earrings would be the final bit of sparkle to her outfit.
“Hello, handsome.” Aunt Gert greeted Chris with a smile. And handsome he was in his black suit, shirt and tie. “Hello, Miss Gert.”
“Renee, bring the necklace. I want you to put it on me.” She walked to the sofa.
Renee followed her. “Here, you open it.” She gave her the jewelry case.
“All right. It feels like Christmas every time I open the case.” She lifted the lid and screamed. “My earrings! My earrings!”
Renee laughed as her great-aunt bounced on the sofa. She laughed more when she saw the surprised looked on Chris’s face.
It took ten minutes for Miss Gert to calm down. She looked like a queen wearing the jewelry. She’d nearly cried when Renee told her Marc was responsible for the earrings. Watching her reaction made him glad Marc made it possible for her to be that happy.
As he escorted them downstairs to the ballroom, he could feel his time with Renee was running out. The ballroom was decorated with a Cuban nightclub feel. The band members wore white tuxedo jackets and black pants.
Miss Gert abandoned them to dance on the dance floor in the front of the room.
They sat at one of the many tables covered with white tablecloths and candles that skirted the dance floor. “I feel like I’m on the set of I Love Lucy,” Renee said.
“It’s not so bad, and the band is good.”
Renee turned to watch the dancers. “She’s happy, and that’s all that matters.”
Chris nodded. “She’s ecstatic. I didn’t think she would stop screaming.”
&nb
sp; “Jewelry like that would make any woman scream.”
Chris leaned in close. “I’d rather hear that kind of scream when I make love to a woman.”
She whispered in his ear, “That’s a different kind of scream, baby.”
He laughed. “You’re right.”
As the music played, he watched her and realized that he loved her. Loving her scared the hell out of him. Because loving someone meant leaving yourself open and defenseless. She would never leave Birmingham to live with him. Moving from city to city every few years. What if he moved to Birmingham? He didn’t feel the tightening in his gut when he thought about it. He liked the city, but he had a feeling that he would like any city as long as she lived there.
He would have to be honest with her and tell her how he felt. He couldn’t very well hound her about being honest if he wasn’t with her.
He leaned toward her. “When can we leave?”
She smiled. “Fifteen minutes.”
* * *
Gert felt like a queen as she danced with Dean. Tonight, the two people she loved the most were with her. She watched as Renee and Chris danced a few feet away.
“You look lovely tonight,” Dean said.
“Thank you. You don’t look bad yourself.”
He smiled. “That’s because I’m with you.”
“I wish things were different,” she said.
“I heard an interesting story on the news today. The remains of “Big Ike” Henderson were positively identified. The FBI has changed his status to deceased on their Web site.”
She stopped in the middle of the dance floor and her heart began to race. “Then you can come back for good?”
“Dean Benson will be moving to Birmingham or anywhere you’d like.”
She smiled, then said, “I like Birmingham.”
* * *
Forty-five minutes later, Chris and Renee arrived at Renee’s house. How the hell do you tell a woman you love her? The movies and television made it look easy. But the fact of the matter was it was damn hard. The light from the stove gave a welcoming feel to the kitchen but it didn’t ease his nerves.
They’d entered the den when he decided enough was enough.
“Renee.” He touched her arm.
She stopped and looked at him.
“I love you.” There. He’d said it.
She looked at him with a combination of surprise and disbelief then shook her head. “No. No, you don’t.”
His stomach clenched. “I know how I feel. I do love you,” he said softly.
She backed away from him, shaking. “No. You want me. You don’t love me. I don’t want you to love me.”
Chris felt a part of him break into pieces. His heart ached when he saw how much she was afraid. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay,” he said, reaching out to comfort her.
She backed farther away from him.
The pain of her rejection stopped him cold. He dropped his hand. “I won’t touch you.”
She took a deep breath and met his gaze. “I care for you, Chris, but I won’t love you. I wouldn’t.”
He watched her walk out of the den and up the stairs, and he knew he couldn’t reach her. She was too afraid, been hurt too many times. His love wasn’t enough.
He walked to the couch, sat down and waited for his heart to stop breaking.
CHAPTER 14
The next morning
There was no reason for him to stay. Chris put the last of his things in his bag. The necklace was exactly where it should be. He’d never understand his brother’s actions, but this time Marc had done something right. Miss Gert had screamed like a girl when she opened the jewelry case and saw the matching earrings nestled next to the necklace.
Mission complete. It was time for him to move on.
He looked around the bedroom for the last time. The early morning sunlight shone bright against the sheer white curtains and filled the room with light. The master bedroom had become as familiar to him as his own face. In this room, he’d found passion, comfort and love.
Last night, he’d lain awake in the extra bedroom, trying not to feel. He’d waited until he heard her go downstairs before he’d come into this room.
For the first time since he was a boy, he wanted to stay in one place. To make this house his home. But he couldn’t stay another day in this house, in this room, knowing the woman he loved didn’t love him. She’d been his lover and he’d been foolish to let down his guard and fall in love with her.
He loved that brainiac mind of hers. He loved her fierce loyalty to her aunt Gert and her will to put down roots. She’d made Birmingham and this house her home. He’d never had a place he’d considered home in his life, but he would stay if she asked him. She hadn’t. She didn’t want his love.
No. It was best that he leave while he could. He picked up his bag, took it downstairs and put it by the front door. Then he went in search of Renee to say goodbye.
She was in the kitchen. He stood inside the doorway and drank in the sight of her. The bright pink, sleeveless dress she wore showed off her feminine curves. The white apron had the phrase Kiss The Cook in bright blue letters across the front. The sight of her filled his heart with both joy and pain.
She flipped pancakes on the griddle. When she looked up and saw him standing in the doorway, she smiled and for a moment, he thought he saw something more in her expression. Something like love. He shook his head. It was wishful thinking on his part. She’d made her feelings perfectly clear last night.
“Good morning. Have a seat. The pancakes are almost ready,” she said.
His heart told him to stay, to lie to himself and pretend that he belonged here with her. He didn’t belong anywhere.
“I’m not staying,” he said.
Her smile faded at his words. She looked down, then carefully placed the spatula on the counter. “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement.
“Yes. You have the necklace and there’s no reason for me to stay.”
She turned off the stove. “I understand,” she said and used the spatula to remove the pancakes.
Anger, hot and deep flowed through him. He wanted to grab the plate and smash those pancakes into the wall. His heart felt like it was being torn in half and she looked as if his leaving didn’t matter to her. She wouldn’t even look at him. Well, to hell with it.
“I’ll send the final papers to settle Marc’s estate to Terrell.”
“That’s fine,” she said softly. “Thank you, for all your help.”
He balled his hands into fists then slowly, carefully, relaxed his fingers. It was time to go before he did something crazy. “Goodbye,” he said softly and walked away. He kept walking and never looked back. Afraid if he looked back, he would beg her to let him stay.
* * *
Numbing pain washed over her like an icy wind from the north. Renee stared down at the golden pancakes until she heard the front door close. It was only then that she looked up and wondered how the sun could continue to shine when her world had just fallen apart.
He’d left her and taken her heart with him. Maybe that was why she felt the ache down to the marrow of her bones. She picked up the plate full of pancakes and dropped it into the trash can. The sight of food turned her stomach.
She walked slowly, carefully, out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He’d left her like every other person she’d loved had left her. The sick fear she’d felt when he’d told her he loved her last night returned with a vengeance this morning. If this was love then she wanted no part of it.
When she reached the master bedroom, she looked at the nightstand. Gone was the book she’d given him to read, along with the mounded pile of his pocket change. He’d packed and taken everything with him.
Walking to bed, she gingerly laid on top of the rumpled sheets, which still carried the scent of him. She reached behind her, pulling the bedspread over her. She began to shake as grief and pain washed over her like a tidal wave.
* * *<
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The following morning, Renee called Danielle.
“I’m sorry to bother you, I really need to talk to somebody,” Renee said.
“What is it?” Danielle asked.
“I think…no, I know I’m in love with Chris.”
“That’s wonderful,” Danielle said.
“I’ve messed things up with him.”
“What did you do?”
Renee relayed everything that had happened between them.
“You are a really smart person, but you don’t know a thing about love. You can’t base your life on how your parents feel or how Marc treated us. So you have rotten parents and you had a rotten husband. That’s only three people with bad karma. Other people love you, so forget them. You really need to think about your life. Imagine your life with Chris then imagine it without him. Think about what’s stopping you from having the life you want.”
Renee took her words to heart. She spent a long time thinking about fears and her dreams. That evening, she stood in the kitchen and admitted to herself that she was acting like a big, fat chicken. A scaredy-cat. A wuss. She’d let the man she loved walk out of her life without ever telling him that she loved him. Worse, she’d reacted as if he’d pointed a gun at her when he’d told her that he loved her, because she was afraid.
When had “I love you” come to mean “I’m leaving you” in her world? It had probably happened when she was six years old and her parents had dropped her off at boarding school. She couldn’t change the past, but she could definitely change the future. She’d been so afraid of showing her feelings and having him leave her that she’d done nothing to convince him to stay. “That’s just stupid,” she muttered.
She wasn’t stupid—far from it, but fear had clouded her vision, made her hold back, and she was darn tired of being afraid.
She wanted Chris in her life. For years, she’d hidden her true nature. He’d shown her that he loved her for herself. She had to show him that she loved him. She went to her office and began making plans. It was time, as Aunt Gert would say, to put on her big-girl panties.
* * *
The next morning, Karen Smithstone sat in the passenger seat of Renee’s car. “Are you going to give me a hint?”