by Malinda Lo
“What are you doing out here?” Jess calls.
“Taking a walk. What are you doing here?”
“I live over there. I saw your car.”
Margot glances behind Jess. The street is visible through the naked tree trunks. “I’m meeting Angie in a minute,” she says.
“How are things with you two?”
Margot’s eyes briefly widen. “Seriously?”
“Angie’s my best friend. Of course I’m serious.”
Margot smirks. “What do you really want to know? You want to know what she likes?”
Jess almost smiles back. “I know what she likes.”
Margot’s smirk disappears for a second, but then it returns. “She told me about MIT. Staying over in your brother’s room. She told me it was a mistake, that she felt sorry for you. Did you know that?”
Jess’s face burns.
Margot laughs. “You didn’t know that.”
“You better be treating her right,” Jess says tightly.
“That’s rich. What do you think I’m doing?”
“You don’t get it. Angie’s my best friend. We’ve known each other for way longer than you’ve known her. We have a history. That doesn’t get erased just because she started seeing you a couple months ago.”
Margot crosses her arms. She takes a step toward Jess, head cocked. “You really want to get into this?”
Jess doesn’t flinch. “I’m already in it. You seem to forget that. Don’t.”
Margot looks disgusted. “What are you talking about? Angie’s my girlfriend. You stay the fuck away from her.” She gives Jess a once-over, lip curling. “Let me give you some advice. She’s not into you. You need to move on.”
Margot shoves past Jess, her boots crunching across the snow. Jess turns to watch her leave, to watch the plume of Margot’s breath streaking behind her like a ghost.
TRANSCRIPT OF INTERVIEW OF MARGOT ADAMS
Present:
DC: Detective Lieutenant Donna Cardoni, Massachusetts State Police
KG: Lieutenant Kyle Griffin, Massachusetts State Police
MA: Margot Adams
Det. Lt. Donna Cardoni (DC): It is 10:23 a.m. on January 20, and we are at the East Bedford Police Department in East Bedford, Massachusetts. I’m Detective Lieutenant Donna Cardoni of the Massachusetts State Police. Also present—please state your name for the recording.
Lt. Kyle Griffin (KG): Lieutenant Kyle Griffin, Massachusetts State Police.
DC: We are joined by Margot Adams. Please state your name for the recording.
Margot Adams (MA): Margot Adams. Margot with a T.
DC: Margot is sixteen years old and is here voluntarily, on her own initiative. Margot, can you confirm this?
MA: Yes, I’m here voluntarily.
DC: And why did you choose to come to the station today?
MA: You left me a message saying you had some follow-up questions. I thought I’d come in and answer them.
DC: Since you’re a minor, we’d prefer to wait for parental consent, but you’ve said your parents aren’t available?
MA: My dad is in New York. My mom is—I don’t know where she is. I tried calling her but she didn’t answer. Do you want to talk to me or not? I didn’t think it would be this big of a deal.
DC: We just want to make it clear that you’re here voluntarily and you can leave at any time. Do you understand?
MA: Yeah, sure.
DC: Okay. Would you like some water or some coffee or anything?
MA: Some water, maybe.
KG: I’ll get it.
DC: For the record, Lieutenant Griffin has left the room. Margot, we’re very sorry to ask you to relive this difficult experience, but as you know, some additional information has come to light and we need to get your perspective on it. Since we first talked with you a couple of weeks ago, we’ve learned that your friend Ryan Dupree was involved in a relationship with Jonathan Krause, a teacher at Pearson Brooke. Why didn’t you tell us about this earlier?
MA: I didn’t think it had anything to do with—with anything.
DC: So are you saying you did know about Ryan’s relationship with Mr. Krause?
MA: I—yeah, I knew about it.
DC: How did you find out about it?
MA: Ryan told me.
DC: When did she tell you?
MA: Last fall. Sometime in September, I think. She’d been seeing him for a few weeks by then. She was—she was really excited. In love.
DC: Let the record reflect that Lieutenant Griffin has returned.
MA: Thanks for the water.
KG: No problem.
DC: You said Ryan was in love with Mr. Krause. Did the fact that he was her teacher bother you?
MA: No. He’s not that old.
DC: He’s more than twice her age.
MA: Well, he didn’t look that old. Not any older than you.
DC: For the record, Margot has just indicated Detective Griffin.
MA: How old are you?
KG: I’m 30.
MA: So Mr. Krause was like a couple years older. You look about the same.
DC: If their relationship didn’t bother you, why didn’t you tell us about it?
MA: I’m not stupid. I know that you—that adults—don’t think it’s okay. Ryan knew too. We both knew that if it got out that she was seeing Jon, people would freak out, and he might lose his job. She didn’t want to do that to him, and Ryan was my friend, so I supported her. That’s why I didn’t tell you guys about him. It had nothing to do with Ryan’s death—obviously, since he wasn’t even in Massachusetts when she died. And now he has lost his job, just like we knew would happen.
KG: What did you think of Jonathan Krause?
MA: Like as a teacher?
KG: Sure. And as a—a human being.
MA: He was nice. I had one English class with him last year—Modern Poetry. He was a good teacher. He was funny in class.
KG: So you liked him?
MA: Yeah, I guess.
KG: Why “I guess”?
MA: I didn’t really have an opinion on him. Ryan’s the one who was in love with him, not me.
KG: How did you feel about Ryan continuing to date her boyfriend, Noah?
MA: That was her decision.
KG: You had no opinions?
MA: Sure I had opinions, but Ryan had the right to do whatever she wanted.
KG: Even if it meant lying to Noah?
MA: Look, Noah’s a nice guy. I feel really bad for him, I do. But it’s not like he’s innocent. He was all into Ayesha. Didn’t you hear that he and Ayesha hooked up the night of the party? That’s why he never bothered to say good-bye to Ryan. He was occupied. So it’s not like he would care that Ryan was with Jon. I don’t necessarily think cheating is justified, but Ryan was in a tricky situation. She couldn’t let anyone know about Jon, so having Noah around was a good cover.
DC: You said that Noah and Ayesha hooked up the night of the party. Do you think Ryan had any idea?
MA: I don’t know.
DC: Did she notice that Noah wasn’t paying attention to her?
MA: I don’t know. Like I told you before, I spent most of the night with Angie.
DC: Noah told us that he was upset when Jess accused Ryan of cheating on him. Given what you’ve said about Noah and Ayesha, do you believe him?
MA: Sure. I bet that’s why he hooked up with Ayesha later. I don’t blame him. Finding out someone’s cheating on you is rough.
KG: It sounds like you’ve been in that situation.
MA: No.
KG: Have—
MA: I told Ryan that she shouldn’t cheat on Noah, though. I felt like it wasn’t right.
DC: What did Ryan do when you told her this?
MA: She didn’t l
ike it. I think we argued.
DC: Did you disagree often?
MA: Not often. Sometimes. We were friends. Sometimes we didn’t see eye to eye. No big deal.
DC: When was the last time you talked to Ryan about this?
MA: About Noah? Probably the night of the party. Yeah. After what Jess said, it came up.
DC: Can you tell us more about that conversation you had with Ryan?
MA: I don’t remember much of it. It was late. Angie went home, I was tired, Ryan was drunk and really upset. I took her outside to cool off. I think she got into a fight with Noah. Yeah, I remember now. After Angie left, Noah asked Ryan about what Jess said, but then Ryan got really mad so I made her come for a walk with me.
DC: Where did you go?
MA: Outside. Just down to the beach, not far.
DC: What did you talk about?
MA: I told her she should break up with Noah so he didn’t start asking questions. I didn’t want her relationship with Jon to be exposed, because that would have totally messed everything up, you know? I didn’t want to deal with her if that happened.
DC: What do you mean by “deal with her”?
MA: Just that Ryan gets really dramatic sometimes. I love her—I loved her—as a friend—but she could get upset, more upset than necessary.
DC: What did you do after you took the walk with Ryan?
MA: We—I already told you about this last time.
DC: I’d like to go over it again.
MA: Is that why you wanted to talk to me? I thought you had different questions. I don’t really remember much about that night. It was a weird night.
DC: Well, try to think back. You’re on the beach with Ryan having your heart-to-heart. In the freezing cold. You’ve told her that she should break up with Noah. What did she say?
MA: I don’t remember. She was upset, that’s all. I don’t remember what she said.
KG: When we talked to you a couple of weeks ago, you said that you went to bed after Angie left.
MA: Yeah. That’s right.
KG: Why didn’t you mention going for the walk with Ryan?
MA: I don’t know, I guess I forgot. It’s not a lie. I talked to Ryan and then went to bed.
KG: Was that walk the last time you saw Ryan?
MA: I—I guess so.
KG: After the walk, what did you do?
MA: You know what I did. I went to bed.
KG: When did you wake up?
MA: In the morning.
KG: Are you sure?
MA: Yes. Why are you asking me this?
DC: We’ve learned that your car was at Pearson Brooke early in the morning of December 17. Your keycard was used to access the parking facility there at 1:43 in the morning. Did you drive Ryan back to school?
KG: We have people looking at security camera footage from the entrance to Pearson Brooke right now. It’s in your best interest to tell us the truth. We all want to find out what happened to Ryan, and you can help us. We’re not interested in punishing you for having an unsupervised party or for sneaking out after curfew or anything like that. We only want to find out what happened to Ryan.
MA: I—I need to use the bathroom. Can I go?
DC: Sure. Of course. It’s down the hall on the right. This recording is being paused at 10:51 a.m.
[Break in proceedings]
DC: It is 10:59 a.m. and we are resuming recording of this interview with Margot Adams. Picking up from where we left off, we were discussing the use of your parking pass in the Pearson Brooke parking lot early on the morning of December 17. Why—
MA: I have to backtrack a little. I was trying to avoid getting involved in this, but it’s true, I was there. I drove to Pearson Brooke. I got there at whatever time the parking lot says I did. One forty-something. I drove Ryan there because she wanted to go back to Brooke and she doesn’t have a car, and she acted like she would steal somebody’s keys and drive herself there if I didn’t. She was really drunk. I didn’t think she should drive.
DC: Why did Ryan want to go to Brooke?
MA: Because Jess said at the party that she had read Ryan’s letters. The letters she wrote to Jon Krause. Ryan was really upset about that and she wanted to go get the letters to make sure they were still safe.
DC: Did Ryan have any reason to believe they were not safe?
MA: Ryan was really upset, okay? She just wanted the letters.
DC: Where were the letters?
MA: Ryan kept them in Ellicott Park. There was this tree where she and Jon would leave notes for each other. Ryan kept hers there so nobody at school would find them.
DC: How did you know about the letters?
MA: She showed them to me back when she first told me about Jon in the fall.
DC: Okay. So early in the morning of December 17, you drove Ryan back to Brooke so she could go and find her letters. What happened then?
MA: I went back to Marblehead.
DC: Are you sure about that?
KG: The parking lot also requires you to scan the card to exit. The records show that your car was parked there for a little over an hour.
DC: We also know that your phone was in the Pearson Brooke area for about two hours that morning. We just want to find out what happened to Ryan. We know you can help us, Margot. Maybe you saw something that you’re afraid to share, but you don’t have to be afraid. She was your best friend. She’d want you to help her.
MA: Best friend.
KG: Is something funny?
MA: Everything.
DC: Are you all right?
MA: Oh my God. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
KG: What?
MA: Not you. Oh my God. Okay.
DC: It would be a lot simpler if you would be honest with us. Help us find out what happened to your friend.
MA: I—She wanted to go get her letters. I told her it was a bad idea. It was too late, too dark, plus it had started snowing. But she insisted. She was really drunk, and she was really mad about what Jess said. So I agreed to drive her back to Brooke. We went into the park together. We—shit.
DC: Do you want some more water?
MA: No. When we got to the tree where she kept the letters, they were gone. The bag she put them in was there, but it was empty. She was really pissed off, and she thought Jess took them, so she wanted me to text Jess and get her to bring the letters back.
KG: Why did she want you to text her? Why not text Jess herself?
MA: She didn’t know Jess’s number. I—I had it. She used my phone and texted her.
KG: Did Jess respond?
MA: Yeah. She . . . she basically told Ryan to fuck off, which only made her even more mad. That’s when [inaudible] That’s when she took out the gun. My mom’s gun. She must have taken it from the house. It was in her coat pocket. She said that she was going to go to Jess’s house and make her give the letters back. I tried to convince her that was a bad idea. We got in an argument. She was—she was so pissed. She was pissed at everybody. She said I was a shitty friend. She said I didn’t support her relationship with Jon, but that’s not true. I totally supported her relationship with Jon. I kept her secret for her. Ryan could be really selfish. She said I should understand how hard it was to be with someone people disapproved of. She said I was changing, that I didn’t get her the way I used to. She got really mad at Angie for some reason. She said Angie was changing me, but that’s not true. Angie has nothing to do with this. Ryan was just jealous.
KG: You mean of you and Angie?
MA: Not like that. Not everything is about that. She was jealous because we used to be best friends, and now there was someone else in the picture. But really she did it first. When Mr. Krause started writing her those love letters—oh my God, she wouldn’t shut up about them. He was all she would talk about. Do you know
how annoying it was to have to listen to her about it? Every day, all the time, Jon does this, Jon says that. Like I wanted to shoot myself—that’s how annoying it was. Oh, I know, that sounds really bad, right? Shit. This isn’t the way it was supposed to go.
DC: What happened?
MA: We got in a fight. Me and Ryan. We didn’t used to fight that much. We used to be—it was different before. Before Mr. Krause. Before I came out. She was the first person I came out to. I don’t know what happened. She’s not my best friend anymore. She wasn’t for a while. We said some really shitty things to each other that night. I think I—I was so mad. And she had my mom’s gun. She was waving it around like it was—I took it away from her. I didn’t think it was loaded or anything. My mom is a lot of things, but I didn’t think she was actually stupid enough to leave a loaded gun lying around. I’ve gone shooting with her before. She thought the gun was a joke. She wanted a girly gun. She said it made her feel safe, but she left it in Marblehead in the closet. She never carried it with her.
DC: What happened when you took the gun away from Ryan?
MA: What happened? She grabbed my hair, like we were twelve or something. Oh my God. I couldn’t believe her. She was—I shoved her. I didn’t know the gun was loaded. I was trying to make her shut up.
KG: Are you saying that you pulled the trigger?
MA: I guess I did.
DC: Did you understand that Ryan had been shot?
MA: I—it’s a little fuzzy. Maybe I was in shock? I didn’t touch her. I just had to leave. I went back to Brooke. I went to my car. I still had the gun. I wrapped it in my coat and put it in my car. I think I sat there for a while. And then I decided to go to Angie’s. I had to see her. I felt like if she forgave me for arguing with her, it would help or something. I know it sounds totally stupid now, but—you can ask Angie. I went to see her. It was around two in the morning. We—we made up.
DC: Did you tell Angie about what happened?
MA: No. Are you kidding? No. She didn’t know.
DC: What happened after you left Angie’s house?
MA: I drove back to Marblehead.
KG: What did you do with the gun?
MA: I hid it in the boathouse. Nobody goes out there in the winter. I cleaned it with bleach the next morning. I was going to put it back in the closet but I—I just didn’t get around to it, and then you guys came to search the house, and it seemed—it’s still in the boathouse.