by R. Cooper
Taji knew all that. He slid his hands down to Trenne’s waist and held one over the knife without touching it.
“We’re doing this. All right,” Rodian said under his breath, then jumped. Surprised, apparently, to find Lin already undressing. She didn’t bother to wait for a servant.
Nadir sighed, long and loud. He probably began to strip and Nev moved over as if to help him hold his things. When this was over—when he came back—he would need his blacks again. They all would.
Trenne pulled his knife from his belt and flipped it to keep the blade away from Taji. “Taji,” he murmured, as though Taji needed to be calmed down. Taji’s first tug on Trenne’s shirt was too strong. His fingers grazed over a patch of skin and he felt himself growing hotter.
Be a shehzha, he reminded himself, and slowly pushed Trenne’s shirt up until Trenne had to finish pulling it off since Taji couldn’t reach. In the meantime, Taji let himself touch, long, curving sweeps over ridges of muscle and bone as he dropped his hands back down.
Taji avoided the issue for another moment by focusing on Trenne’s boots. Trenne would have to be barefoot, of course. Taji kneeled down, discomfort be damned, and loosened the ties on each boot.
“Taji,” Trenne said again.
“Eshe,” Taji answered softly, and the low hum of activity around him faded. His heartbeat was too loud, drowning out everything else. He helped Trenne out of each boot and grasped the hand Trenne lowered to help him back up.
“You give me much.” Trenne smoothed Taji’s soria into place and gave him an astonishingly human half-smile. “You do not need to.”
“It is my honor,” Taji shot back, on the verge of breathless, and slipped his hands into the waistband of Trenne’s pants.
They didn’t fall until Taji was running his hands over the smooth skin of Trenne’s thighs and breathing heavily. He didn’t look down. He was supposed to see Trenne naked all the time, not stare like a boy with his first erection.
Trenne cupped his cheek.
“If you have need of him before he goes, we can wait.” Talfa’s voice—and offer—snapped Taji from his hot, dry-mouthed thoughts.
No one laughed, thankfully. But then, of course they wouldn’t. The offer was a serious one. An offer no one had made to any of Larin’s shehzha. Taji didn’t know whether to be proud of that or embarrassed that he’d managed to seem needier than Elii.
“So, there you go,” Taji spoke without thinking, in Anglisky, unfiltered nonsense coming out of his mouth while he stared at Trenne. “Sha, as you are, to go into the woods and kill some things for me. And you know, to impress all these guys while they work hard to not die and also impress each other. It’s not only another pressure-relief valve like the shehzha, you know. It’s one of the few opportunities for social mobility left, so…be careful.” He blinked and looked at the team. Rodian had slightly hunched his shoulders in discomfort. Nadir and Lin both appeared at ease, except for the knife each held loosely but not casually. “All of you should be careful.”
“There you go underestimating us humans again.” Nadir clucked his tongue. He seemed remarkably unselfconscious even though, where Lin and Rodian had mostly smooth skin, Nadir had two small scars at his chest and a giant blast scar at his side. It was the only sign of physical injury or distress on any of the bodies in the room, save Taji’s. Shavian nobles preferred control over their bodies, not disabilities, not signs of pain or weakness.
Taji met Nadir’s stare, just for a moment.
“What is this one saying?” Talfa asked Taji, looking over Nadir’s pile of clothes and the cock resting on top of them that Nadir must have removed for safekeeping, and then studying Nadir’s body. “This is a he? What sort of he? The soldiers all dress the same. It is difficult to tell.”
“Sehn, if the universe were fair,” Lin answered without a glance at Talfa. “But some of us are not allowed time or luxury.” She flipped the knife in her hand, an impatient, fidgety sort of gesture, the first sign of real nerves Taji had ever seen from her.
“Taji.” Trenne called Taji’s attention back to him. His gaze was serious.
Taji was abruptly, coldly serious, too. “I meant it,” he whispered fiercely, “what I said last night.”
Trenne nodded. “Yes, Taji shehzha.”
The room was so quiet. Maybe everyone was distracted or maybe everyone was listening to whatever a human and a hurat would say to each other. Maybe Larin was listening. Taji wondered if Larin’s shehzha wished him well, and if they did, if it was only to save themselves the pain of his loss. Larin might wonder that, too.
“I will worry for you,” Taji said, not quietly. If this made Trenne a target, he wouldn’t forgive himself. But Trenne had been a target his whole life on this planet and survived. Taji had to trust in that. His hands were on Trenne’s chest again but he didn’t want to move them. “I know you will succeed, but I will worry.”
“Little Taji, you have to let your hurat go,” Larin broke in, all emotion absent from his voice. “Unless you believe he cannot complete one small hunt and this is the last you will ever see of him.”
“Trenne, I need another kiss,” Taji said in a rush.
“Is he hurt again?” Talfa wondered, somewhere far away.
Trenne tucked his fingers beneath Taji’s chin and Taji tipped his face up. Taji imagined the look in Trenne’s eyes was telling him to be calm, to be sharp, not to worry, or maybe thanking him for what Trenne thought was pretend. Then Trenne bent to kiss him once on the mouth, and then once again at the corner of one eye.
He flattened his ears at the small, soft noise Taji made. “It is my honor to give you human kisses,” Trenne added, making Taji hurt in a way nothing else ever had.
“Then give me one more,” Taji ordered rashly, and pushed up onto his toes to meet it. His lips were parted, his breath heavy. He slid his hands up to Trenne’s neck and kissed him in a way he knew he shouldn’t. Trenne was surprised.
Taji closed his eyes for a single moment, then sank back down and nodded jerkily because he couldn’t apologize here. He crossed his arms over his chest to keep from touching Trenne anymore. “Honor me and return.”
Trenne took a long time to answer and then it was a whisper against his hair. “Yes, Taji shehzha,” he said with warmth, and Taji looked up in time to catch the bold, startling pleasure in Trenne’s posture and the tilt to his ears. Then Trenne turned away. Toward Larin, possibly.
“Don’t worry so much, Mouth,” Nadir whispered as he walked past, smirking and alarmingly sure of the knife in his hand. Rodian stuck close to him, looking like he was trying not to shiver. Lin and Trenne went next, followed by Talfa and the others.
Taji kept his gaze on Trenne, which was easier than looking at Tsomyal or Rinnah or Larin. They all went, in their turn, by group or alone, out of the pavilion and down another slope toward the trees.
“IS THIS some kind of test?” Taji complained to Tsomyal as they sat in the flier for the ride up to Laviias. Markita glanced at him but everyone else in Taji’s unwilling retinue gave every appearance of ignoring him. Taji was cold, he was tired, and in addition to the anxiety that wouldn’t let him be still and quiet, he was painfully aware of what he had just done.
Maybe he could pretend it was all to annoy Larin. No one would believe it, but he could try.
“The Imperial Guard didn’t even go into the trees with Larin,” Taji pointed out, again to silence. Both Guards in the flier with him stared steadily forward. “They were left behind with the servants and us and Olea Rinnah and one spouse who may have been pregnant and…Larin’s shehzha.”
Elii had been shivering. He must have annoyed Larin to be so neglected when he was the newest of the group. The others had seemed relatively satisfied compared to Elii’s starvation.
Taji swallowed. “They go out there, to kill us some dinner and face whatever it is they will be facing,” unknown dangers in the dark, “while everyone who cares about them has to wait and try to be Sha about it. Hours
!” He huffed and did not touch his mouth. “I have to wait for hours!”
“I will venture that shehzha are not known for their patience,” Tsomyal said to the two Imperial Guards, who didn’t acknowledge that either.
Taji stared hard in Tsomyal’s direction but was spared more conversation as they landed. He assumed the shehzha were being flown back as well, but they might also still be down in the pavilion, yearning for their eshe.
He ducked his head at the sudden flood of heat through his face and neck. They had been only slightly more obvious than he had, but he couldn’t think about what he’d said, or how he’d said it, or that last look on Trenne’s face. Not if he wanted to make it through the day.
But his heart was beating fast and his stomach kept flipping, and he could still feel Trenne’s mouth against his and Trenne’s small, startled breath. He saw Trenne looking at him like he knew everything now. Taji had always desired him, but this was more than that, and Trenne might know. But now he was out there with two small humans and Lin to protect him, and—
“Mr. Ameyo,” Tsomyal whispered. “Breathe.”
Taji exhaled. He even took another breath and tried to summon the calm that had gotten him through exams. He had four soldiers flanking him and felt not the slightest bit safe. Safety was an illusion. But it was also Trenne.
Making his way out of the flier was awkward with no one to assist, and did not help with his longing. Which at least added to the lie, if nothing else.
Mos waited for them, in a long, thick robe that hid her hands when she clasped them in front of her. She searched their faces, but if she was looking for information about the hunt, she wouldn’t find it with them.
“Olea Rinnah invites you to share some tea and dine with her,” Mos told Tsomyal and Taji formally. “She will arrive soon, but instructed me to show you to her rooms, if you so wish.”
“I would be honored,” Tsomyal answered first, probably knowing Taji’s answer.
Mos looked at him as if she could read his thoughts as well. “Some food, Taji shehzha. You will need your strength. Surely your Trenne would agree.”
The most annoying thing in the universe in that moment was knowing Mos was right.
NOT LONG afterward, Taji found himself in Rinnah’s green receiving room with a bowl of something warm, almost like nadth, and dotted with flowers that tasted sharp. Rinnah had taken some time to arrive. Time enough for Taji to fill his stomach—which did not calm it but gave him something practical to focus on. He was starting to understand how those on the team could eat even when they weren’t hungry.
The drink in his cup was tea, but not the tea he was used to. It was just strong enough to make him long for coffee—with a narcotic or a sedative in it.
Rinnah was not calm either. She was close to it, but anyone who had spent any time with Shavians and Shavian nobility in particular would notice that her composure had cracks in it. She wasn’t eating and hadn’t touched her tea. She talked with Tsomyal, but her eyes strayed to Taji more than once.
The cause of her distress was the same as everyone else’s—her brother. After the scene last night and the one today, with Larin flaunting his three mistreated shehzha in front of the only group of people with the potential to overthrow him for it, Rinnah had to realize what Tsomyal had. What the Koel had realized before they had ever come to Laviias.
Larin was not the emperor the Sha wanted or needed.
The other nobles were going to start looking for replacements if they hadn’t already, and if no one in their own houses was suitable, Rinnah was the most likely candidate. Taji guessed she was terrified. Taji didn’t have siblings, but he imagined suspecting your brother wanted to kill you or eliminate you wasn’t a good feeling. But he also figured that was the cost of high position. Rinnah got every perk from being an Olea, the most Sha of the Sha. Now she might have to earn them.
Of course, all their problems would be solved if someone “accidentally” killed Larin today, but Taji wasn’t careless or hopeful enough to say that out loud or to think it would happen. The consequences of failure were very high.
“Mr. Ameyo?” Tsomyal’s harmonic voice startled him from recollections of the grisly deaths of failed and would-be emperors. He found himself under observation. “Olea Rinnah has something she would like to show us, but I believe I will rest for a while. Are you interested?”
Nothing in Tsomyal’s manner or tone indicated Taji had to say yes. But he hadn’t forgotten the conversation that morning.
He turned toward Rinnah. “Is it a long walk?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “I offer my apologies again for before. I never meant to cause you pain.” She paused and then added, slowly, “I am sure your eshe knows this.”
Taji closed his mouth before he could comment, mostly because while he suspected Trenne did know that, he also suspected Trenne didn’t care. Anyway, the mention of Trenne was enough to make him feel flushed and warm all over again.
“The walk is not far,” Rinnah continued. “I hoped I might have a chance to show you, and it seems the hunt has left us with nothing to do but wait.”
“I am not good at waiting without something to do.” Taji glanced at Tsomyal, who regarded him innocently. “I would love to go for a short walk with you.” He didn’t inject any enthusiasm into his voice, but he couldn’t help the small amount of curiosity that leaked through.
“We cannot go far.” Rinnah gracefully rose to her feet and watched with quiet anxiety while Taji stood up but did not offer to help. The second most powerful person on the planet stymied by a rule about touching someone else’s bedwarmer was an oddity Taji wasn’t in the mood to appreciate. Rinnah tucked a data device into her soria but must have summoned someone with it first, because a servant opened the door from the outside, revealing four soldiers who had probably stood together in icy silence for an hour. Rinnah stopped as if making sure Taji was with her, then preceded him out the door. “I must be near to deal with the casualties, speak to the families.”
Taji sent a final, panicked look to Tsomyal, and then his view was blocked by the gray uniforms of the Imperial Guards.
“You do not need to be this close,” Rinnah dismissed the Guards without turning to look at them.
“Casualties?” Taji echoed in what he hoped was calm. Nev stayed behind him but in his line of sight. Taji could have kissed her for the support and was secretly grateful Markita had stayed with Tsomyal. Nev didn’t like Taji much, but she was a lot more seasoned than the private.
“There will be injuries. The fer, while not deadly, are territorial. The kinm will not fall without a struggle. On hunts in the plains, there are pests to be concerned with, and then the plants. At least we do not have that to worry us.”
Rinnah had to shorten her steps to keep from outpacing him. Taji appreciated the effort and was irritated at the same time.
“How many, um, casualties are there?” Taji sincerely hoped she meant casualties in the sense of combatant taken from the field of battle due to wounds and not dead.
“The last real hunt was when Larin and I were younger, in my mother’s time. Although Larin has often done smaller hunts for pleasure.”
Rinnah stopped nowhere near where Taji had thought they might go. True to her word, it was not far from where they had left Tsomyal. But she surprised him again by heading toward an unobtrusive tunnel entrance.
The tunnel was well-lit. Rinnah stopped only a few feet in, just enough that the others couldn’t do more than stand in the entrance behind them. Taji got the impression none of the soldiers liked this.
“You often look to the past,” Rinnah said to him. “I find that strange from someone who has traveled among the stars.”
“You live in a monument to your family’s history,” Taji countered. “We are products of our past. It affects everything.”
Rinnah inclined her head. “But I do not look to the past as you do.” She raised a hand and pressed to one stone wall. “In many of the tunnels
here, there are carvings. They have been here since the time of Olea Ranth, perhaps before then, but that is the earliest mention I have found of them.”
An “ooh” nearly slipped out of Taji as he reached up to the stone. It was warmer than he expected. He could just make out something beneath his fingertips. “Smooth.”
“If you watch, you will discover the servants touch them as they pass. I do not know why, but I thought you might.” Rinnah traced a shape that maybe her fingers could detect better than his. “I documented them, much as you did with those rocks. But I have never… If these were here before the Sha, I should discourage the servants from their tradition.”
“They might not even know why they do it.” Taji tried to find another one as he answered. “Meanings get lost over time.” He shot her a curious look. “Have you been watching servants to know that?”
“I go where I wish.” Rinnah marched over that question like the sister of an emperor. “I know more than anyone else about the history of this place.” She removed her hand from the wall. “And yet, until you said those words, I had not allowed myself to consider those who had been here before. The ones who carved this tunnel.”