“I know I left without saying goodbye,” he continues, pacing in front of me. “I know I fucked up on that part, but I left because I knew all of the fighting wasn’t good for you. I left for you, Eden, because you deserved more than two parents who were constantly at each other’s throats.”
“But,” I choke, getting to my feet despite the fact that my legs feel numb. “But you never called.”
“Because I thought you wouldn’t want me to call,” he admits. “That’s why I left you both alone, and if you’re so desperate to know why it’s hard for me to cope with you, it’s because I know you still think the divorce is my fault.”
I don’t say sorry, but I’m crying. The tears have escaped, rolling down my cheeks as the past few minutes overwhelm me entirely. Even more progress. Maybe, just maybe, we will eventually have a real relationship one day. Not now, not yet. It’s going to take a long time to rebuild our trust and forgiveness, but this is a start. Uncovering the truth is only the beginning. Now the hard work starts.
“Don’t,” Dad says, stepping toward me. He looks as though he wants to wipe away my tears, but he also doesn’t want to touch me, so he quickly steps back and rubs anxiously at the back of his neck. “Look, I . . . I know I’ve made mistakes. And I know you have too. We both have. We all do. And I don’t want to fight with you, Eden. I really don’t. But I’m going to need some time to take all of this in, and I’m willing to make an effort if you are, because you’re right. I’m putting a strain on this entire family.”
“Especially on you and Ella,” I murmur, dabbing at my eyes. I fan my face and exhale then, because I’m being entirely honest with him, I add, “She’s beginning to look at you the same way Mom did right before the divorce. Please don’t ruin this.”
“I know,” Dad says, frowning. He runs a hand back through his graying hair, glancing at the clock on the wall. “I’m not going to hug you or anything,” he mumbles, “because I’m still pissed at you for running off last week. Waking up to discover that your daughter has run off in the night with a former troublemaker isn’t exactly what I wanted to hear.” So instead of hugging, we decide to shake hands under the agreement that we are going to try harder from now on.
Just as I’m dropping my hand from Dad’s, I hear footsteps on the staircase. It’s Ella, with Tyler and Jamie close behind. They spot us in the kitchen and make their way to join us.
As soon as Ella enters the room, I know she’s been crying. Her eyes are red and swollen, and her makeup is smeared. She doesn’t try to hide it, only sniffs and throws me a questioning glance. I know what she’s trying to ask. She wants to know if Dad and I have made any progress. And I give her a small nod that says, I’ve done it.
Tyler follows behind her, slightly pale. He has his hands in his pockets, his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes finding mine. We exchange smiles of relief and satisfaction, of pride and joy. It feels as though we have climbed a mountain to get to this point.
Behind Tyler, Jamie’s eyes are devoid of any emotion. His face is blank, and he hovers by the archway into the kitchen, staring straight ahead. I’m not sure how he feels right now, but I can imagine the news that Tyler is talking with their father again has hit him hard.
Dad clears his throat and takes a step toward Tyler. “Congratulations,” he says, and Tyler raises an eyebrow suspiciously, perplexed as to what Dad is even talking about. “On the youth center,” he explains.
“Oh,” Tyler answers. “Thanks.” He extends his arm and finally, finally, the two of them shake hands, their grips firm. It’s such a significant step, and Ella looks so relieved and thrilled that I think she might just faint.
Chase must hear all of the commotion in the kitchen, because he creeps through from the living room and falls into place by the door alongside Jamie. His eyes are curious as he glances at us, trying to gauge whether or not the atmosphere is toxic. It’s not. Only hopeful.
“We should get going,” Tyler says, glancing at me as he holds up his car keys. Ella sniffs, and Chase starts to complain that we only just got back. Neither Jamie nor Dad say anything, mostly because I think they don’t mind that Tyler and I are leaving.
“We should come and visit sometime,” Ella suggests. Her eyes brimming with hope, she looks to Dad. “David?”
Dad studies Tyler and me, and I know it’s way too soon for him and Ella and the boys to be making trips to Portland to visit us, but he contemplates it nonetheless. All he says is, “Maybe in the future.” And then he gives me a tight smile that says a thousand words before he turns for the patio doors and heads outside. This is hard for him, but I appreciate the fact that he has listened to me. I don’t think he can deal with anything more today, so he has removed himself from the situation.
“I hope Portland is good to you both,” Ella tells us, and although she is smiling, she is also tearing up again. She pulls Tyler into a hug first, and it’s a long, tight one as she presses a kiss to his cheek. Then she comes to me, wrapping her arms around my body and squeezing me tight.
“Thank you,” I murmur against her shoulder, “for everything.” When she steps back, she only nods. Ella has supported us this entire time and I will forever be grateful for that. She means a lot to me.
I turn to Jamie, but he’s refusing to look at Tyler and me. Tyler does place a hand on his shoulder and squeezes it firmly, but I think it’s going to take a long time for Jamie to accept our relationship. But if Dad can come around, then anyone can. I have a strong belief that eventually, whether its three months or three years from now, he will stop being so against us.
Chase hugs us both though, because he’s Chase, and Chase likes everyone no matter what they say or do. “Doesn’t Portland suck though?” he asks me, cocking his head to one side and eyeballing me suspiciously with those blue eyes of his.
“No,” I say, smiling. “I was just lying.”
Tyler laughs as his hand slips into mine, and as we head through the hall toward the front door, Ella and Chase both follow. Jamie doesn’t. Like Dad, I think he’s had enough for the day. Some people need more time than others when it comes to accepting certain information.
“Please remember to call every once in while,” Ella reminds us, tears streaming down her face. Whenever Tyler has to leave this city, she gets emotional. Their bond is precious. “Or every day. I won’t mind.”
Tyler gives her one more, final hug, and then we make our move, stepping through the front door of the house that was once both our home but is no longer. Portland is our new home, our new adventure, our new risk.
With it being Sunday, the street feels quiet and lazy as the early afternoon heat beats down over the neighborhood. Tyler is grinning at me as we head over the lawn, his green eyes smoldering at me, our fingers laced and our hands swinging between us.
“How was it?” he asks me, but all I can think about is how happy he seems.
“Good,” I tell him. “I think we’re finally getting somewhere. How about with you?”
Although he shrugs, he’s still smiling, almost like he’s satisfied and proud of himself to be getting everything off his chest. No more secrets now. “It’s going to take some time before Mom accepts it all,” he says, “but it went as good as it could have.”
“And Jamie?”
“He just doesn’t get it,” Tyler says with a sigh, “but eventually, he’ll understand that people deserve second chances. Like Dad, and me, and us.”
I grin at him, so proud of everything he has achieved this past year and so proud of the person he has become. I’m proud to stand next to him, right by his side, knowing that he’s finally mine and that I can show him off to the world. It’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I lean in closer to him, squeezing our hands tighter.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spot Rachael’s car parked in her driveway across the street. I know I can’t leave without saying goodbye to her. I tell Tyler to wait for me, and then I let go of his hand and run across the street, straight to her front door, ringin
g the doorbell over and over again. We’re in no rush, but there’s so much energy flowing through my veins that I just can’t stop myself. Luckily, Rachael answers the door rather than her parents, and before she even has the chance to say anything, I’m already throwing myself into her arms.
I hug her tight, and when I pull back from her, she’s giving me one of those sad smiles that I hate so much. “So you’re really leaving, huh?” she asks, pouting.
I nod. “I’ll be back again at the end of the summer but for just now, yes.”
“Then you better hurry,” she says, smirking, “because Prince Charming is waiting for you.”
I follow her gaze over my shoulder to Tyler. He’s watching us with a smile toying at his lips and with his arms folded over his chest as he leans back against his car, waiting patiently for me, ready to leave Santa Monica and head off on our road trip back to Portland. He looks so, so gorgeous. It’s so effortless.
I’m blushing by the time I tear my eyes away from him and back to Rachael. “Good luck with Snake,” I tell her.
“Good luck with your stepbrother,” she replies, and we can do nothing but laugh, which is something I will never take for granted. How funny it is that the fact that Tyler and I are stepsiblings doesn’t even matter anymore, that it’s now just a casual remark used to crack a joke. I never thought that one day I’d be able to laugh about it, but here I am, and I think that reflects just how far we have come.
Blowing Rachael a kiss, I turn around and set my eyes on Tyler, and a glorious smile spreads across my face just from looking at him. I have so much love for him. I sprint across Rachael’s lawn and onto the road, running to the person that always has and always will own my heart.
When I reach him, my lips are against his within a heartbeat, and there is just so much passion as his mouth moves in sync against mine that every single fiber of my being is on fire. There’re shivers running down my spine, goose bumps on my arms, tingling sensations in my hands. I’m smiling against his lips because my happiness in that moment is so overwhelming that I just can’t control it anymore, and when my eyes flutter open to look at him, his emerald eyes are sparkling back. In the background, I notice Ella covering Chase’s eyes, but she’s grinning. I can hear Rachael wolf-whistling from across the street.
When I shift my gaze back to Tyler, I cup his face in my hands, biting down on my lower lip. “Look down,” I whisper.
Slowly, he drops his eyes to the ground, and I tilt my foot onto its side so that he can see exactly which pair of Chucks I’m now wearing. His handwriting from last summer is facing us, and when he meets my eyes again, his expression is radiant.
After all these years, after all of the hurdles we have had to overcome, we are finally happy. Things aren’t perfect. We’re still figuring everything out, still fixing our mistakes and making our changes, but the main thing is that we are trying. We have grown and we have learned, but most importantly, we have finally accepted ourselves.
Finally, I think. Just finally.
@EstelleMaskame
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Did I Mention I Love You?
Estelle Maskame
Book 1 in the phenomenal dimily series
Find out more here.
When sixteen-year-old Eden Munro agrees to spend the summer with her estranged father in the beachfront city of Santa Monica, California, she has no idea what she’s letting herself in for. Eden’s parents are divorced and now her father has a brand-new family. For Eden, this means she’s about to meet three new stepbrothers.
The eldest is Tyler Bruce, a troubled teenager with a short temper and a huge ego: Eden’s complete polar opposite. Eden quickly finds herself thrust into a world full of new experiences as Tyler’s group of friends take her under their wing. But the one thing she can’t understand is Tyler, and the more she tries to figure him out, the more she finds herself falling for the one person she shouldn’t – her stepbrother.
Throw in Tyler’s clingy girlfriend and a guy who has his sights set on Eden, and there are secrets, lies and a whole lot of drama. But how can Eden keep her feelings under control? And can she ever work out the truth about Tyler?
Did I Mention I Need You?
Estelle Maskame
Book 2 in the phenomenal dimily series
Find out more here.
It’s been a year since eighteen-year-old Eden Munro last saw Tyler Bruce: her stepbrother … and her secret love. Although they called time on their forbidden relationship for the sake of their family, Eden can’t help but feel excited when Tyler invites her to join him in New York City for the summer.
Anyway, Eden is happy with her boyfriend Dean, and surely Tyler has moved on too. But as they spend a long, hot summer in the excitement of the city that never sleeps, it soon becomes obvious that they aren’t over each other. But can they resist temptation?
In Did I Mention I Need You?, the second volume of Estelle Maskame’s phenomenal DIMILY trilogy, Tyler and Eden must face up to their feelings and decide what to do next. Is their love strong enough to face the challenges that lie ahead?
Did I Mention I Miss You? Page 33