by Brian Rowe
I smiled, gave Frankie a knowing nod, and pushed against the door. It swung open all the way, revealing a lit open room that surrounded a spiral staircase.
I walked inside and stepped toward the stairs. The others followed me in, and Frankie closed the door.
I still didn’t know if Mira would be at the top of the staircase. But everything inside me said she would be. I walked up real slow, one step every five seconds. I didn’t want the end of my adventure spoiled by an empty lookout room.
Frankie, Mr. Balm, Elle, and Judy disappeared from my view, as I took another step. And another. Two more steps and I’d be able to know for sure.
I sighed, closed my eyes.
I reached for the handrail.
And I touched a hand instead.
#
Sunday, October 10, 1993
I held her hand in mine. I knew she was almost gone.
“Mommy,” I said. “Please don’t go.”
All weary in her hospital bed, her body thin and frail, the skin on her face sunken down to her cheekbones, she just kept on smiling.
“Zippy,” she said. “You know how much I love you? You’re my special little girl.”
“I love you, Mom. I love you so much.” I struggled talking through my fits of tears.
“And I’m going to watch over you. You hear me? I’ll be with you, Zippy. Always.”
“But I don’t want you watching over me, Mommy. I want you with me now. I want you right here. With me. Forever.”
My brothers had already left the room, and my dad sat in the corner, gazing out the window, like he didn’t want to stand the pain of watching his only daughter say goodbye to his precious Zoe.
“I’ll be with you, honey,” my mom said. “I’ll be watching, and I’ll see. I’ll see if you try to become the person others want you to be. Or if you stay true to yourself, and be who you were always meant to be. Please, Zippy. I just have one favor to ask.”
She was out of breath. She needed to stop talking. “Anything,” I said.
She squeezed my hand real tender and tight. “Please be happy.”
A warm tear rolled down my cheek. “I will, Mom. I promise.”
#
Monday, June 14, 1999
“Z?”
I opened my eyes. I still had a tight grip on a hand, but it wasn’t my mother’s; it was Mira’s.
She stood above me, leaning over the rail, holding onto me like she never wanted to let me go. Her blonde hair fell past her shoulders, and the blue dress she wore seemed right out of a dream.
“Mira.”
I ran to the top of the stairs and Mira ran up to me and we collided against each other with the force of fifty dinosaurs.
“You found me,” Mira said. She wrapped her arms around me and pressed her head to my shoulder. She was only two inches taller. “I can’t believe you found me.”
“I'm so happy you're alive, that you're safe.”
“We both are,” she said, like she couldn't believe it.
We hugged for ten seconds, twenty seconds, maybe a whole minute; I lost track of time. “I don’t want to let you go,” I said. “I’m afraid you’ll disappear.”
“I won’t. I promise, Z. I’m here to stay.”
I’d never been so at peace, standing there at the top of the lighthouse, my body pressed against Mira’s. All tensions and fears and calamities and catastrophes of the last few days—of my entire life—fell by the wayside. Life, if only for a moment, was perfect.
The applause from below broke us from our daze. I turned to the staircase to see Elle emitting a giant smile, Mr. Balm beaming with pride, Frankie wiping tears from his eyes.
“Uhh, Z,” Mira said, “who are they?”
“Mira,” I said, taking her hand in mine, “I want you to meet my friends.”
“Sorry! We didn’t want to ruin your moment,” Frankie said, “but we couldn’t help ourselves. You two are so cute together!”
“It's quite all right,” I said, excited to introduce them to Mira. I turned to her. With the sun shining against her back and her hair and her dress, she looked like a princess. My princess. “Mira, this is Elle, Frankie, and Mr. Balm.”
She waved. “Hello.”
The little terrier emerged between the trio’s legs and ran right up to Mira, not barking, not disruptive, just happy to see her.
“And this is Judy,” I said, as Mira kneeled down to pet the dog. “Everyone here, they helped me along the way.”
“It’s my honor to meet all of you,” Mira said, standing back up. “Any friend of Z’s is a friend of mine.”
I gazed into her eyes and smiled. “Are you still going to call me Z? Now that we’ve met?”
“I’m kind of used to it. Is that okay?”
“It’s perfect.” I looked past Mira, toward the back of the room. It was empty. “Where are your parents?”
She shook her head, her lips quivering a little. “We got separated. One of those raptors attacked us, and we just started running. And I lost them. I didn’t know where to go. So I came here.”
“I’m sorry, Mira,” I said, hugging her again. “Your parents are out there. We’ll find them, all right? I won't stop 'til we do.”
She wiped a tear from her upper cheek. “I’m just grateful you thought to come here. I wasn’t sure if you would.”
“Are you kidding? You always talk about this lighthouse. I went to your house, saw your computer screen. It didn’t take me long to put two and two together. I feel like I know you better than I know myself.”
“I feel the same way about you,” she said, with a grin. She put her arm around my back, pulled me close.
“Ooooh,” Elle said. She started swaying back and forth in anticipation. “Are you two going to…”
I looked at the little girl and lowered my head. “Are we going to what?”
“You know,” she said. “Kiss!”
Mira and I chuckled and turned away from each other, embarrassed. I was about to address Elle when an unexpected voice bellowed from below.
“You better not.”
All of the joy in the room dissipated. I heard sandcastles collapsing, the classical music on a radio somewhere cutting to static. Worst of all, I heard the bigots all around the world rejoicing, and laughing at me.
My dad climbed to the top of the staircase, his dirtied suit shredded to pieces, a trail of blood running down his face and neck.
“Get away from her,” he said to Mira. He pushed past Mr. Balm, but Frankie blocked him from going any farther.
“You’re going have to go through me, asshole!” Frankie shouted, but my dad punched him in the groin and kicked him to the side.
“Ohh oww,” Frankie said, and collapsed against the floor.
“Dad!” I said, still holding Mira tight. “Dad, stop!”
“You’ve made a fool out of me for the last time, Zipporah,” he said. “You think I’m going to just stand back and watch you throw your life away?”
I stepped toward him. I tried not to go ballistic on his ass. “What is your problem? We survived the rapture, escaped from the dinosaurs. The world is in chaos! And you still want to be this homophobic prick?”
“God may not have seen fit to take me in the rapture. He may have seen I didn’t do enough to save you. But that doesn’t mean you and I are on the same level. You’re still the one committing the sin, Zipporah. You know how I know? Because He didn’t take you, and He didn’t take your little girlfriend, either.”
I didn’t expect Mira to say a word, but she let go of my hand, and stepped toward my dad. She'd never met him before, but Mira knew my dad. And she was ready to challenge him. “Sir, I hate to interrupt your little hate speech. But that’s where you’re wrong.”
“I’m sorry?” my dad said. He wouldn't even look her in the eye.
“God took a lot of people in the rapture for the right reasons, I’ll give you that. But unlike all of you, I’ve been watching the news. Good or bad, rich or poor, gay
or straight, God didn’t take anyone who wasn’t outside, or near a window. If you couldn’t literally see the rapture as it happened, you weren’t taken. Even if you were the kindest, sweetest person alive.”
My dad scratched his forehead. “You mean...”
Mira brought her gaze back to me. “Where were you during the rapture, Z?”
I didn’t say anything for a moment. Mira’s theory made so much sense. Even though I'd hated thinking it these last couple days, I figured God did indeed refuse to take me in the rapture because I was gay; I couldn't think of any other reason for being left behind. But that wasn’t the case at all. He didn’t take me because I was hidden.
“I was below the plane,” I said. “In the cargo hold. I didn’t have any access to light.”
“And you?” Mira asked, pointing at Frankie.
“I was in the bathroom. On the plane.”
“Any windows in there?”
“Uhh, no.”
Mira pointed at Mr. Balm, who said, “I was at the Warm Springs shelter. I was in the back, packing my bag.”
“Any windows?”
He shook his head.
Elle was next. “My family was having lunch in the kitchen. I was in the game room. There’s a window in there, though. A big one.”
“But it was covered with that pink curtain, Elle,” I said. “No light could get in.”
Frankie scratched his head. “You’re telling me, if this really was the rapture, that none of us was taken, because God couldn't see us?”
Mira nodded. “My parents and I were in the basement. No windows.”
I turned to my dad. “So. Tell me. Where were you when it happened?”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said. “What matters is you can’t be here any longer, Zipporah. You need to come home with me. And I mean, now.” He stomped toward me.
“Dad.” I put out my hand.
He stopped. “What?”
“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. “I love her. And she loves me. And nothing you can do or say will ever change that.”
“This is so ridiculous,” he said, and rubbed his fingers against his temples. “You two are teenagers! You don’t even know what love is!”
“Oh, and you do? Do you love me, Dad?”
He finally looked at me, like really looked at me, for the first time in weeks, if not years. “What kind of a question is that?”
“A simple one. Do you love me?”
Frankie, Judy, Mr. Balm, and Elle walked to the back corner, while Mira stayed close to me. I stared at my dad, so hard I thought his head would explode.
“Of course I love you,” he said. “You’re my little girl.”
I let his words sink in. “If you mean that, Dad, if you truly mean it, then you will turn around, leave this place, leave this city—and just let me go.”
I expected another hateful response, but he didn’t give me one. The anger on his face melted away.
“You’re the only family I have left, Zipporah. Without you, I have nothing.”
He stared at me in defeat.
“Oh, Dad,” I said.
I took a step toward him, but then stopped—everyone did. We all turned toward the large lighthouse window, at the huge pair of yellow eyes staring back at us.
My dad opened his mouth wide, and pointed. “Uhh, what is that?”
A giant roar shattered the window into a thousand pieces. We all ducked just in time, except my father, who screamed as shards of glass struck him in the face.
“My eyes, my eyes!”
“Dad, get down!” I shouted, as the tail of the Tyrannosaurux rex whipped through the top of the lighthouse and took the whole roof along with it. Pieces of wood and plaster crashed against the floorboards.
The T. rex roared again, and this time, the whole room started to shake.
“Mira!” I cried, crawling forward. “Take my hand!”
“I can’t reach!” she said.
The T. rex smashed its tail against the room, once, twice, three times, until the whole lighthouse started to collapse and tip backward—right toward the water.
“Noooo!” Elle shouted. “Zippy! We’re going to die!”
“We are not going to die!” I shouted. I pushed myself forward and grabbed Mira's hand. “Everyone! Hang on to something! We’re going over!”
My dad slumped to his side, and pushed his palms up to his bleeding eyes, as Frankie, Mr. Balm, and Elle held each other and braced for impact.
I saw the fear in Mira’s eyes. I tried to console her. The lighthouse kept tilting.
“Oh my God,” Mira said. “Z! What if something happens!”
“Nothing's going to happen, you understand? Hold onto me, Mira. Hold onto me now!”
The lighthouse smashed into the water below, and we all catapulted toward the open window. One second I was talking to Mira; the next I was submerged in the warm lake.
I opened my eyes, glanced to my right. Frankie was pulling Elle toward the beach. I looked to my left. Where was Mr. Balm? Where was Mira?
I spun around. Two giant dinosaur legs headed straight toward me.
Mira grabbed my hand, as I started screaming underwater. She pulled me toward the surface.
I took a deep breath at the top, but screamed again, when I saw the T. rex charging toward us, the bottom half its body submerged in the water. It released another boisterous roar.
Mira pointed toward the beach. “Z, follow me! Hurry!”
The two of us swam like frantic dolphins, without thinking, without looking back, until the sharp rocks scraped against my toes and the sand brushed up against my aching knees. I raced out of the water first, then tugged hard on Mira and brought her up to the shore—just before the T. rex swung its tail at us again and nearly knocked us down to the ground. We ran up the beach, as the Tyrannosaur emerged from the water and trampled angrily toward us. The creature was mere yards away. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do. It had us—all of us—in its trap.
I grabbed hold of Mira and Elle and whirled around to watch the dinosaur approach. “Nobody move!” I shouted.
“Where’s Mr. Balm?” Frankie asked, behind me.
“What? He’s not with you?”
“No!”
The T. rex stopped and stared down at us, its jaws opened wide, its sharp yellow teeth glistening in the morning sun.
“Don't worry, I can stop it,” a voice said from below. Elle.
“You can... you can what?”
Elle weaseled her way out of my grasp before I could stop her, and marched in a huff toward the T. rex.
“Elle! What the hell are you—”
“I know what I’m doing!” she said.
“Get back here! Elle!”
“I told you how afraid I was of everything, didn’t I, Zippy?” she said, approaching the T. rex like she was preparing herself for a one-on-one boxing match. “How I never have the courage?”
“No!” I shouted. “No, Elle! Now is not the time to show me how brave you are!”
Elle stopped below the T. rex. It turned away from us and peered down at the little girl. It analyzed her, moved its head to the left and right.
“I’m not afraid of you,” Elle said to its face. Then she raised her voice. “You hear me? I’m not afraid of you!”
“Elle! Oh my God!” I gave Mira a knowing look, then charged up to the girl. I grabbed hold of her and pulled her down to the ground.
The T. rex roared into our faces so loud I thought the end had already arrived. I tilted Elle toward the sand, my arms wrapped around her. “Don't move,” I whispered. I kept repeating it. I didn’t know what else to do. “Don’t move, don’t move, don’t move...”
I kept a tight hold on Elle, as the dinosaur's teeth scraped against the top of my head. I closed my eyes. And waited to die.
“Hey! You!” a voice shouted from afar.
I opened my eyes to see Mr. Balm standing by the desecrated lighthouse, waving his hands real high in the air.
&
nbsp; “Over here, you big bully! Come and get me!”
“Mr. Balm!” I shouted. “What are you doing?”
He brought his hands down to his heart and slumped over. “Don’t worry about me, Zippy! I’m close to dead, anyway!”
“What? No!”
The T. rex kicked sand up in our faces and marched with purpose to Mr. Balm.
“Heart’s giving out on me,” he said, with difficulty. “Might as well go out with a bang, right?”
“No! Mr. Balm! Please don’t do this!”
But he didn’t look at us any longer. He stared up at the Tyrannosaurus rex. He waved his hands a few more times and shouted, “Come and get me you mean, green piece of shit!”
The dinosaur didn’t hesitate. It brought its head down and scooped Mr. Balm up off the ground with its hungry mouth.
“Noooo!” I shouted.
Elle started crying underneath me. “I wanted to be the courageous one, Zippy. I was supposed to be the courageous one.”
“I know, sweetheart,” I said. “I—wait, what's he doing?”
Mr. Balm grabbed something from his pocket and tossed it down the T. rex’s throat. The dinosaur started stumbling around. Then it let Mr. Balm slip from its mouth, and drop back down against the sand.
“Mr. Balm!” I shouted. “It let you go! You’re alive!”
“How do they say it in that movie you love?” Mr. Balm asked, as he ran toward us. “Hold on to your butts, right?”
I narrowed my eyes. “Hold onto our—what?”
The Tyrannosaurus rex exploded, and the icky, gooey body parts splattered every which way. The head swung up against the lighthouse remnants, the arms flailed toward Mr. Balm, the huge gobs of intestinal slime catapulted into the air and landed with a loud splash right in front of our faces. The unexpected carnage knocked us to the ground, and Elle and I ducked, just in time, to avoid getting decapitated with the dinosaur’s severed tail.
Nobody moved. Nobody said a word.
Finally, Elle said, “That… was epic.”
“Oh my God,” I said, and pushed myself up to my feet. Mr. Balm walked toward us, with a bit of a limp, but also with a proud smile on his face.
“You can’t kill me yet,” he said, his arms shoved up against his aching chest.