by R. K. Thorne
Josana was lounging gracefully across a chaise, a thin gray robe draped artfully over her curves and parting just a little in all the wrong places, its belt as white as her hair, which was cast wildly to one side. She studied her fingernails while listening to something on her earpiece. Correction. One of them definitely scared him, and it was Josana.
Nova was lying on the floor on her stomach, knees bent and kicking while she made admirable use of a wrist holodisplay and tortured a stick of gum. Adan was as far from everyone else as possible, hunched in a kitchen chair and typing viciously.
He sighed. Everyone else was still working. He tried to refocus his eyes on the tablet, but for a moment they just blurred. He shook his head. They were getting nowhere fast, and they were only doing this because they had no idea what else to do. It was a noble cause, so he wanted to help, even if the back of his mind was writhing with thoughts over where Ellen had headed off to. But it was hard not to feel hopeless.
As if sensing his moment of weakness, Josana took that moment to strike. She straightened neatly in her seat, removed the earpiece, and cleared her throat. “All right. I think the fun’s over here. I’m ready to head to my apartment. This seems as good a time as any. I’m sure I’ll need help with my things, though.” She caught his gaze like a cobra striking and smiled.
Jenny shook off her stupor. “Oh. Sure. The commander left orders I should do it when you’re ready.” She set the tablet aside and stretched.
“Oh, no, no, no.” Josana blinked her lovely eyes. “I’m not going anywhere with you.”
Jenny gave her a long-suffering stare. “You want help, you don’t have much choice. Ryu’s orders.”
“Well, she’s not here right now, is she?”
“Convenient.”
“And she’s not commanding me anymore. I’m on land. And a civilian.”
Jenny made a noise of disgust. “God, why do you always have to be such a bitch?”
Josana only smiled more sweetly back. “I’m not risking my reputation being seen with you.”
“At night? No one’s gonna see anything.”
“Especially at night. They’ll assume we were socializing.” The words sounded like she was referring to murder, rather than cocktails.
“I should be the one worried about my reputation, being seen with you.”
“Besides, we’d kill each other before we even arrived.”
“Now there’s something tempting.”
“I’m not going with you. Kael can take me.”
Jenny groaned. Kael slapped a hand to his face. Nova and Mo met each other’s gazes, looking slightly alarmed.
He groped for an excuse to turn her down. “I’m not going against the commander’s orders just because you two can’t—”
“Aren’t you the ranking officer here?” Josana said sweetly. “Can’t you change the orders?”
Even Jenny smiled bitterly at that, flopping back in her seat. “Yeah, Lieutenant, get me outta this bullshit.”
“There’s no justification for—”
“Maybe if she wanted her orders followed, she should have stayed her to ensure it happened.” Josana’s voice was saccharine poison, and he hated that it sunk into him a little. “Besides. Jenny’s celebrity status is a problem Ryu didn’t adequately consider,” and here Josana’s voice was full of derision, “especially with the wrong sorts of crowd. Meat heads, gamblers, bookies, lowlifes—”
“You’re one to talk,” Adan muttered from the kitchen so quietly Kael wasn’t sure anyone else heard him.
Jenny was too busy getting pissed off. She sat forward in the chair. “Excuse me? People who like sports aren’t necessarily—”
“She will attract a risky sort of crowd that I have no desire to be exposed to. Far more risky than you would, Lieutenant.”
Kael stared hard at her for a long moment, trying to decide if she was actually serious. “She says to the felon,” he muttered. Former gang member too, don’t forget that.
“Pardon me?”
“Nothing.” If she hadn’t cared to ask, he didn’t care to tell her. He didn’t think Josana’s concerns had any merit, but it was true that Jenny could attract attention. And Kael wouldn’t. Whatever his past, no one knew it here. At least as far as he knew.
He glanced at Jenny. Would Ellen kill him if he left Adan with her? Jenny definitely had access to the deadly drug. Nova and Mo were not on the list of most concern.
But he’d seen the way she looked at Adan.
If only he could run this by Ellen first. But she was off doing who-knew-what with that arrogant snotwaffle. Anger bubbled up, surprisingly strong, reminding him that the effects of the Theroki chip were not entirely gone. But it made a sort of sense. He’d thought straight edged, clean-cut was what she wanted, but maybe a brain was what she was looking for.
She wouldn’t find that in Kael. Which maybe explained more than he cared to admit. Maybe her reasons were weak as hell because they weren’t really her reasons, they were just excuses. To protect him from the truth.
Their last kiss flashed before his eyes, the day of Upsilon Station, where he’d been mostly out of control and so terrified that that octo-centipede thing had swallowed her alive. She had kissed him back that day.
He cut off the thought. He was down the same rabbit hole he always fell down, and he needed to make a decision. “Fine. Be ready to go in five.”
Josana grinned triumphantly, rose, and glided down the hallway like a wheeled droid who’d won a vacation getaway.
Kael’s gaze met Jenny’s. “A word while I get my armor?”
“Sure.” She rose and followed him to his room while the others went back to work.
“Is Ryu going to kill me?” He opened the case and started the auto-assembly sequence, standing clear of her.
She shook her head. “No. It doesn’t matter that much, right? I’ll help take the heat. I coulda dug in my heels.” She shoved her hands in her pockets and looked at the floor. “Sorry. I can’t stand her.”
“I know. You watch Adan like a hawk while I’m gone. Okay?”
She frowned at his intensity. “Sure, no problem. Something wrong?”
“If anything happens to him…” He stopped as the last pieces jerked into place and the helmet closed. He retracted it again.
The furrows in her brows deepened. “Don’t worry, Kael. I know. He’s a noncombatant. Why do you think I gave him my armor?”
Still, he hesitated one second more.
“Hey, we’re real safe here. Don’t worry.” She stepped forward and patted his shoulder once, peering closer at him. “Is there something I should know?”
He eyed her, trying to see deeper into her soul, any hint of a hidden motive. But what did he know about judging people and their motives, especially women? He’d barely regained the skill.
“And I don’t want anything to happen to him either, okay? Probably even more than you do,” she added, with a chagrined smile.
Slowly, he nodded. “Oh, I know.”
After Jenny headed back to the living room, Kael shut the door and pulled out his comm. Stared at it. If he called her and she said to carry out the original orders, he’d have a mess on his hands out there. But he couldn’t not call.
He punched in Ellen’s address. It buzzed. The colors did their crazy swirling thing. She didn’t answer.
He hung it up, let out a stream of expletives, stuck the comm in his shoulder slot, and opened the door.
Maybe the game took a lot of concentration. Maybe he was an idiot. By the seven suns, he wanted to smash something. He looked around for something, anything, but everything Persad owned was precious and fragile and obviously not his to destroy.
Why did this place have to be so damn civilized?
Josana was waiting, looking more like a doll than a human by the door. He grabbed the tractor out of her surprised hand and headed for the door with barely more than a grunt.
“See you all later, kiddos,” her smooth voice was telli
ng them. He felt a stab in his heart. Over or not, she hadn’t given Adan even an extra goodbye. That seemed… fitting.
He marched toward the elevator tubes, relieved to hear the cracks of her boots following him. Taylor would probably tell him right about now to count to ten, take deep breaths, visualize something.
Did it count if he visualized smashing things?
Actually… that sounded good. As they drifted to the ground level, he ignored her inquisitive stare. He was busy imagining dropping her bags off the clear ledge of the Elderflower Club. He watched them explode into pieces on the pavement, narrowly missing the flyers and landers clogging traffic but perhaps sending a few of them careening into each other.
Ah. That felt better.
She had a flyer waiting and directed it to her apartment. It mostly drove itself. He tried surreptitiously calling Ellen one more time, at least to update her, but he again got no response. So he continued fuming in a similar manner the whole way there. He varied his fantasies by replacing Josana with Ostrov and her luggage with just him. Bastard.
He grabbed the tractor again as he walked her the hundred yards through a lush garden into another high-rise. Judging by the grounds, this place wasn’t cheap. Either Josana or Tarana or their parents had to be loaded.
“Why did you need an escort again?”
She brushed a strand of long, white hair dramatically over her shoulder. “My sister and Dr. Taylor would never forgive you if something happened to me.”
“Yeah, these bushes look real dangerous. How did someone as nice as Tarana end up with a sibling like you?” Or perhaps it wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe the elder knew to marry a psychologist with her head screwed on straight after a lifetime with this piece of work.
Josana laughed a little, as if he’d complimented her, and said nothing.
They rode up the elevator lift in silence. The floors were carpeted a plush blue. Mirrored walls held up into a simulated sky on the ceiling, with plants just everywhere. Real, from the feeling he got brushing his thumb against one. He breathed a sigh of relief when she stopped at a door and pressed a finger to the pad. The door slid open.
He handed her the hand tractor. “Have a nice life.”
She frowned. “You can’t leave yet. No one’s been here for months. I need you to check the apartment. What if someone broke in and is waiting for me?” She feigned fear, her attempt mocking.
He rolled his eyes.
“Besides, do you really want to go back to the news feeds?”
His jaw clenched. He couldn’t exactly say that he did. She read people well. Perhaps something in common with her sister’s wife after all.
“At least stay and have one drink with me.”
He spoke through clenched teeth. “Fine. But that’s it. Don’t get any ideas.”
“I’m always full of ideas. Too late.”
She did, however, motion for him to enter first, so he decided to take her request seriously. Maybe she knew something he didn’t. He carefully moved from room to room, starting at the left and working around. The place was modern, expensive, and spotless. And empty of intruders.
When he came back out into the central area, she was already making drinks in the kitchen. He pursed his lips. He should just walk out.
She picked up the glasses, noticing him suddenly, and faltered. For a moment, the calculation was gone from her eyes, and he could see a mixture of fear and hope and sadness there, the girl trying so hard to put up a front. And succeeding admirably most of the time, perhaps even to herself.
“Have to kill any assassins hunting me?” she said softly, struggling to pull the facade back up. He shook his head. “Does that mean you’ll stay for a drink?”
“I already said I would, didn’t I?”
“You were still deciding.”
He snorted. He hesitated a moment longer, but the sadness in her tugged at him. “Okay.”
She tilted her head toward a sleek blue couch facing the broad glass wall of the apartment. He sank down, and she joined him, handing him the drink. She sat beside him, but a nice distance away. Not too close. He leaned back, a little relieved, and took a sip. Something like gin and lime.
Finding a remote, she hit a button, and the glass shifted, clearing, to reveal a broad panorama of the city and the ocean. He caught his breath at it, sitting forward. “Wow. Now that’s a view.”
“Better than Persad’s, isn’t it?” she breathed, sounding sincerely happy to be home.
“Not everything has to be a competition.” He shook his head. Capital types. “You’ve got a bit of the coastline, the palm trees, more of the ocean. Does that make it better?”
“You know it does.” She took a long drink, a smug smile curling her lips.
They sat in silence, just watching the view, until he realized he could also hear the waves. Sea gulls. Distant voices. Sound was being piped in from the coast too. Fancy.
She leaned back and sighed heavily. “Well. We’re a fine pair of rejects, aren’t we?”
He snorted. “Excuse me?”
“They say all is fair in love and war. But if it’s so fair, then why’s it hurt so much?” She eyed her drink in her hand, as if the ice cubes were fascinating.
He shrugged. “They also say you can’t always get what you want.”
“But sometimes you get what you need? Yeah. That’s so comforting.” She swirled the cubes around. “Although, it does make you wonder…” She tilted her head, looking at him this time.
“What?”
“Maybe it’s fate.”
“What’s fate?”
She took another long drink before setting the glass on a slender pale wood coffee table. “That we’re both alone.” Her voice was smooth velvet. “We’ve made our bets. Lost. Lived to tell the tale.”
“Hmm.” He frowned and took a drink of his own, staring at his hands instead of at her.
“Here. Tonight.” She’d turned toward him now. Was moving closer.
He didn’t move.
“Together.” She was beside him now.
He raised his gaze to her, and the room swirled unnaturally, shifted and spun. He stopped short and looked at the glass. Moron. He hadn’t thought… Even if she scared him, he’d thought she was one of them on some level. That he could somewhat trust her.
The sympathy drained out of him, and he sat the glass down on the table. Hard.
“What?” she said, voice wavering, playing up the fragile and frightened card. “What’s wrong?”
“Osiris, Josana? Really? Or is this something new? I’m a little out of date on my street chems.” Not quite eleven years, as Theroki had their share of addicts, but most couldn’t afford things like this. He shook his head to watch the images twitch and spin, and because he was disgusted. Praise the Almighty for his neural scrubbers. He opened up the arm readout and checked; it also showed airborne inhibition inhibitors. Hell, the one place it seems like you don’t need a breather…
“It’s—it’s basically Osiris. A new twist people are into. But it’s fun, I promise, especially if you just relax and let me—” She laid a hand on his armored forearm. The armor Ellen had bought him that day not so long ago.
It felt like treachery, even if it wasn’t. “What is it with you?”
“How do you know so much about chems?” She was frowning. “You wouldn’t know that unless—”
Oh, now she was interested in his less-than-savory past. “I don’t know why you think this is even remotely a good idea.”
“You haven’t left yet,” she accused.
He threw her arm off his. “That’s because I’ll fall over right now. That’s some strong shit.”
“Would that be so bad?”
“If I fell over? Yes!”
She drew back in shock at the vehemence in his voice.
“Go find yourself an Ostrov, Josana. You don’t know anything about me, and you don’t care to. You’ve got your pick of Capital. Take it.” He waved at the city.
�
�Capital!” She waved herself, dismissively. “Oh, I might prefer it to that tin can refrigerator ship, but when it comes to men, the selection isn’t much better. Here men have traded the primal for the cerebral. I know what I want. It’s not that.”
“I thought it was Adan.”
“He was fine. I preferred you first. You know that. I made it perfectly clear.” She paused for a moment. “Thanks for not mentioning it to him. His ego is bruised enough as it is.”
“Uh, you’re welcome.”
“Adan is a smart guy, but he’s still got that wild, virile streak about him. You’ve just got more.” She shrugged, as if she were just stating facts.
“What the hell, Josana? Let it go. When this wears off, I’m leaving.” Glory be, it was lessening already.
“Don’t!” She leapt closer to him, and for once her guard had fully fallen, and he could see underneath.
Lonely. She was terribly, terribly lonely. She’d come back here to this big beautiful place, thinking maybe she’d be bringing someone along to thank her and worship her for her every little thing she gave him. And Adan might have done it, but she hadn’t played it right. And it’d all fallen apart. And she just didn’t want to be alone.
“Alone isn’t so bad, Josana. Get okay with yourself alone, and then you’ll find someone. I promise.”
“This doesn’t have to be about finding someone.” Her eyes narrowed. “This can be just for fun.” Her tone was hardly convincing.
He’d misjudged her, he realized. He’d thought her young and naive. But she knew exactly what she was doing, didn’t she? She just didn’t care.
“No, it can’t. I don’t do things just for fun.”
“Since when?”
“Since—” Since just for fun ended up in much more than that and the temptation of dreams and family and then all of it crashing down. “It doesn’t matter. Some things matter. You shouldn’t do them just for fun.”