Cooper

by Lagomarsino, Giulia

  “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  “I just wanted to see how Kayla is,” she said, tears streaming down her face.

  “You don’t have the right to know. This is on you. How the fuck could you do something like that to me? How could you…” I shoved my hand through my hair and moved away from her so I didn’t fucking hit her. Rage was pouring off me and the guys were all standing close in case I went after her.

  “Just get the fuck out,” I said quietly. “Don’t come back.”

  “Coop,” she cried, but I cut her off with a deadly glare.

  “Don’t you fucking say my name ever again. You’re dead to me. You messed with my daughter. She was raped because you let her sneak out when you knew that I was trying to protect her. You fucking did this!”

  I felt arms wrap around me and pull me back, and it wasn’t until then that I realized I was right in her face. She looked fucking terrified of me, but I didn’t even care. For once in my life, I was glad that she was scared of me. I wanted her to be scared, because if she ever came near me again, I would kill her. I wouldn’t even hesitate.

  She slowly backed away from me and then turned and ran for the door. I saw Cap gesture to one of the guys to go after her.

  “Calm down, man. Just focus on Kayla right now.”

  I slumped down in a chair and dropped my head into my hands. This couldn’t be happening. None of this was real. My daughter couldn’t be lying in a hospital bed, beaten and terrified. The woman I loved couldn’t have possibly done something so underhanded behind my back. It was all so fucking wrong.

  “Coop,” Ice said, coming up to me with Cap after a few hours of pacing in the waiting room. “We got them.”

  I perked up immediately. “Where?”

  “We caught one just a mile over the perimeter. He’s pretty fucked up. Kayla did a number on him.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She stabbed him. Once in the shoulder and once in the…”

  “In the what?”

  He cleared his throat. “In the dick. It’s…sort of still attached.”

  I grinned as pride filled me, but it was immediately followed with regret that she even had to defend herself like that. “What about the other one?”

  “He’s dead,” Cap said. “He was laying not too far from Kayla. Hunter said he’d take a look at him when we got him back to the compound.”

  “No one goes near that fucker but me,” I said.

  “We know. Knight has him in the basement. I had to make him swear not to touch him, but it wasn’t easy.”

  I nodded and sat down in the row of chairs. I was relieved to know that the fuckers were captured, but I still had Kayla to think about. I knew that she was going to be fucked up over this, and I didn’t have the first clue how to help her with what she would face when she woke up.

  Cap sat down beside me and I almost told him to fuck off. I was tired of all of them standing so close to me, waiting for me to fucking loose it. Hours passed and there was still no word on Kayla. It was driving me insane. I didn’t understand what was taking them so long. Hunter said she was fine. He said that she would be okay, so why weren’t they letting me back to see her?

  A doctor finally walked out from the ER doors and walked right over to me. I barely looked at him, my gaze still trained on the doors that were blocking me from reaching my daughter.

  “Mr. Cooper.”

  I glanced at the man, knowing he had been talking to me and was waiting for me to respond. I nodded, letting him know I was paying attention.

  “I’m Doctor Lipinski. I was treating your daughter when she was brought in. She has a pretty bad concussion, but she is awake and I don’t think there will be any lasting damage from the head wound. Still, I’d like to keep her here for the day and keep an eye on her.”

  The day? I looked outside and saw the first rays of sunlight streaming in through the doors. Fuck, we had been here all night.

  “Your daughter was examined by a SANE nurse. Do you know what that is?”

  I shook my head as my whole body trembled. I was so close to fucking losing it. Whatever it was, he just needed to spit it out.

  “That’s a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. I’m sorry to tell you, but your daughter was raped.”

  I knew that. I fucking knew that, but hearing it from him had me instantly breaking down. My chest felt like it caved in and tears poured from my eyes for my baby girl. Raped. That was something no father ever wanted to hear. I just assumed it would never be me. I assumed I would always be there to protect her, and I had failed.

  I felt hands on my shoulders and arms, supporting me, literally keeping me standing upright. The doctor continued, but I didn’t hear a thing. I zoned out and fought for control when I wanted to lose it and break every fucking thing in sight. At some point, the doctor walked away and I was shoved down in a seat. I stared at the floor, by body heaving as I struggled to control my breathing.

  “Hey,” Hunter said, kneeling in front of me. “She’s going to be okay. We’ll get her counseling and anything else she needs.”

  I huffed out a laugh, wiping at the snot dripping from my nose. “What she needs is to not have experienced this. What she needs is her fucking virginity back.” I shook my head, wiping a hand down my face as tears leaked from my eyes. “I took that from her. She met this kid and she was about to have sex with him when I busted in and broke them up. It would have been her choice,” I said, just barely keeping from sobbing. “Whether I wanted it to happen or not, it would have been her fucking choice. She wanted it, but she didn’t want this. It’s all my fucking fault.”

  “It is not your fault,” Cap said, speaking quietly beside me, gripping my shoulder to center me. “You didn’t do this to her. You were trying to protect her. You know that it would have been a mistake for her to go out and fuck some random kid. You knew that and you protected her. But you can’t protect her for the rest of her life. There are always going to be risks. She made a decision and it backfired.”

  “She shouldn’t have even had the opportunity to make that decision,” I said fiercely, glaring at Cap. “I swear to God, you don’t ever let Becky on that property again. What she did…” I took a deep breath as another sob threatened to work its way out. “What she did should never have happened. She doesn’t even fucking work there. She hacked into our systems and she purposely put my daughter at risk.”

  Cap didn’t look like he believed what I was saying, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he nodded and gave my shoulder a squeeze. “I’ll make sure the guards know.”

  It wouldn’t make up for what happened, but it sure as fuck made me feel a lot better. A half hour later, the nurse came and got me to see Kayla. I hesitated, not sure if I could go through with this right now. What would I say to her? How could I ever face her again, knowing that I was responsible for this happening? I knew I wasn’t the one that assaulted her, but it was on me. I didn’t let her live her life and she lashed out, desperate to escape me in any way she could. She wouldn’t have been in those woods if it wasn’t for me.

  Steeling myself, I gathered up the courage and swiped at my face one last time as the nurse led me to Kayla’s room. There was an officer stationed outside her room since the perpetrator hadn’t been caught yet. I wasn’t about to tell him that I had the fucker stashed in a basement with a drain. He nodded to me solemnly as I passed. I slowly pushed the door open and almost fell to the floor when I saw Kayla lying in that bed. She had cuts and bruises marring her beautiful skin and her wrist was in a splint. There was a large bandage over her forehead, but that was the extent of the damage I could see.

  I sat down and watched her sleep peacefully and gripped her hand in mine. She was no longer the little girl I kept picturing her as. She had grown up way too fast, going on the run with me, and now this. I blinked back tears, but then her eyes opened and she looked over at me. Her hand squeezed mine weakly and tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “Daddy,” she so
bbed quietly. I got up quickly and laid down beside her, pulling her into my arms. She cried on my chest and her tears wet my shirt. I stroked her hair and tried to calm her as the one true love in my life broke down on me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  Becky

  I ran from the hospital, got into my car and took off without thinking about where I was going. My heart was broken, not because of Coop kicking me out- I deserved that- but because my bad decisions put Kayla in danger. What if she hadn’t made it? What if she died? I didn’t even know what happened to her, but I had seen her lying there and it didn’t leave much to the imagination. That was all on me. I had done that to her. And the sad part was, I knew Coop was blaming himself because he brought me into her life.

  I swiped at my face so I could see through my tears. Headlights in front of me had me swerving out the way and narrowly avoiding crashing head-on into another vehicle. Jerking the car onto a side road, I sped through the night until I was on the outskirts of town and alone in the darkness. I could barely stay on the road anymore, the sobs in my chest bursting free. I pulled over and just barely had the car in park before nausea worked its way up my throat and spilled out just as I flung the door open.

  I stumbled from the car and moved around to the passenger side, slumping down against the car. I was shaky and nauseous, but I didn’t have any right to complain. All of this was my fault. There was no way around that.

  The sound of a car door slamming barely registered in my brain. Bright lights finally invaded my brain, but I didn’t even have the good sense to look up. If someone was coming to kill me, I deserved it. Deep down, I knew that I deserved a thousand knives to the belly for what I put that girl through tonight. I should have known better. I should have realized that she would do something reckless. I should have agreed to pick her up at least. No, I should have told her dad. That would have been the smart thing to do. I wasn’t her parent or her guardian. I was no one, and I definitely didn’t have any right to make decisions in her life that could put her at risk.

  Big boots appeared in my vision and someone sat down beside me. I knew immediately it was someone from Reed Security, but the real question was, who was tasked with watching over the girl that got others raped and left for dead? No one would want that assignment.

  “You doing okay?”

  Cazzo. Of course it was Cazzo.

  “Does it matter?”

  “Of course it matters,” he sighed, wrapping an arm around me, pulling me in close to him. I shoved him off and moved away. I didn’t deserve any kind of forgiveness or pity right now.

  “Why did you come?”

  “Because I know where you are right now.”

  I snorted. “How could you know where I’m at right now?”

  “Because I almost got Vanessa killed. But see, the thing is, I’ve been on both sides of this, and it sucks.”

  I looked at him in confusion. I knew that Vanessa had almost died when she was taken, but that wasn’t his fault. And if it happened on a job, unless I was working it, I wasn’t privy to what happened unless he told me, and he never told me. I had no clue what he was talking about.

  “You know about Vanessa almost drowning.”

  I nodded. I remembered hearing about it. I also heard that he almost killed himself. That’s why everyone was circling the wagons around him when he came back, but I was never part of the group. I was a techie and I rarely got involved in what happened with these guys.

  “She almost drowned because of me. When we were on the run from Adams, I got…reckless. I wanted to be with her. She was like a drug for me. Every moment I was with her, I just needed more. I broke protocols and I snuck her away from her detail just so that I could have some more time alone with her.” He laughed slightly. “Biggest fucking mistake of my life. Someone was watching and they took her. I wasn’t in shape and I was in no condition to protect her. But I was able to get to the boat and I barely got to her, but she couldn’t swim and she was pulled into the water. By the time I got to her, she had been under for so long. It was amazing that she lived.” He looked over at me, heartbreak all over his face. “That guilt you feel? I felt that too. I know every shitty thing you’re thinking about yourself right now, and let me tell you, it’s gonna take a while to get past that. But you will.”

  “How?” I asked, swiping the tears from my eyes.

  “Time. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or that you’ll come out of it on top, but you’ll get past it.”

  “Coop…”

  “Yeah, he’s pretty fucking pissed. You have to give him time to cool down. Right now, he’s on an emotional rollercoaster and he’s lashing out at you.”

  “Rightfully so.”

  “Did you mean to do it?”

  I looked up at him in question. I didn’t understand.

  “Did you mean for her to get hurt?”

  “Of course not, but that doesn’t make it okay. You wouldn’t forgive a drunk driver that killed your family.”

  He shrugged. “We’re talking apples and oranges here. A drunk driver doesn’t have the best intentions when he gets behind the wheel. You were looking out for Kayla, trying to help her get out and live her life. Am I right?”

  “It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t my place.”

  “No, it wasn’t. I’m not gonna lie, if that happened with my family, I’m not sure I could ever forgive you. But I’m not the person going through this, so I can see things a little more objectively.”

  I knew he was trying to make me feel better or like there was hope, but there really wasn’t any. And even if Coop somehow found it in his heart to forgive me, I wasn’t sure I could forgive myself.

  “Coop never wants to see me again. I’m pretty sure that there’s no coming back from this.”

  “There may not be, but we all make our choices in life and we have to learn to live with them.”

  We didn’t say anything else after that. We sat there until the cold seeped into my body and chilled me to the bone. Cazzo made no attempts to get me to talk or get moving. We left when I was ready.

  “Come back to the compound. You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

  I nodded even though I didn’t feel like being around anyone. I had no idea where Delaney was and I could at least hide from everyone at Reed Security in the large maze of hallways and rooms. The place was huge. I got in my car and followed Cazzo back. He punched in his code and pulled through the gate, but when I tried to follow, the guard stepped out and held out his hand for me to stop.

  “Is there a problem?” I asked.

  “I’m sorry, Becky, but you’re not allowed on the property.”

  “What? But I’m with Cazzo.”

  I watched as Cazzo got out of his truck and walked back toward me. “What’s the problem?”

  “She’s not allowed on the property,” the guard answered.

  Cazzo shook his head, but I didn’t want any trouble. “It’s fine. I’ll see you later.”

  “No, wait,” Cazzo said, putting his hand on my car as if that could stop me. “Who said she’s not allowed on the property?”

  The guard glanced at me and then turned back to Cazzo, lowering his voice, but I still heard him. “Cap. I’m sorry. He called it in about a half hour ago.”

  My stomach sank and my heart splintered into a million pieces. I’d always had a special relationship with Cap, even when we were fighting. I just never thought it would come to this. I never thought that he would ban me from the property. Tears pricked my eyes, but I sucked them back and gave Cazzo a wobbly smile.

  “It’s okay. I’ll see you later.”

  He protested, but I put the car in reverse and fled the property as fast as I could. I had just lost the remaining pieces of my family.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

  Coop

  Kayla slept most of the day, and as much as I wanted to go take care of the fucker that was in the basement of Reed Security, I just couldn’t leave her side. Besides, she would most l
ikely be released this afternoon. Everything else could wait. She was all that mattered right now.

  She stirred in the early afternoon and sat up in bed. She was quiet, not really looking at me or Maggie, who had snuck in and was hanging out in the corner of the room. I didn’t understand why she was here, but Cap probably assumed that she could help in some way. I jerked my head at her, hoping that I could get her to leave me alone with Kayla for a few minutes. I needed to find out how she was doing, and I wasn’t sure she would say anything in front of someone else. Maggie got up and waddled out of the room, but she didn’t look too happy about it.

  I squeezed Kayla’s hand and she finally looked up at me. “How are you doing?” I asked.

  “I’m okay.”

  She didn’t seem okay. She seemed numb, like she wasn’t feeling anything at the moment. I wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing. Maybe it didn’t matter. I wasn’t sure there was a rulebook to follow that told you how to handle something like this.

  “Kayla, I’m so sorry-”

  “Don’t,” she said sharply. Her gaze met mine and her eyes shone bright with tears. “Don’t tell me you’re sorry.”

  My heart pounded wildly in my chest at the thought of her hating me, of her blaming me for the rest of my life. And frankly, I deserved it. I had let her down, but I had hoped that there would be forgiveness at some point.

  “Kayla-” My voice cracked and I looked away, not wanting her to see how broken I was. I didn’t have a right to feel broken when she was the one that was attacked. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but I am sorry. I didn’t protect you the way I should have.” Tears filled my eyes and spilled over. God, I couldn’t even fucking control myself right now. “I won’t ever let you down again. I-”

  “Dad, stop. This isn’t your fault.”

  “Yes, it is,” I said, not sure why she was telling me it wasn’t.

  “Dad,” she said fiercely, forcing me to look into her eyes. They were still shimmering, but there was a strength in them that I didn’t realize was there. I always knew that Kayla had fire, but this was different. “This is not your fault. You had rules for me and I didn’t follow them. This is my fault.”