I stared down at Becky. Her face was pale and she was looking worse than right after her surgery. “That’s because she’s not getting better.”
Cap sat on the other side of the bed and took a sip of his coffee. “You just have to have faith.”
“You have faith,” I said angrily, shoving my chair back and storming from the room.
“Hey,” Cap yelled, chasing after me as I took long strides down the hall to escape from the depressing feeling I got whenever I stepped in Becky’s room. “You can’t just give up. She needs you-”
“She doesn’t fucking need me,” I said, spinning around and getting in his face. “You want to think that she can hear me and the power of love will heal her, but this isn’t a fucking movie. You and I both know that good people die every fucking day. We’ve witnessed it over the years. So, don’t give me that shit about needing to have faith. God isn’t going to do jack shit for me if her body can’t take anymore.”
“You don’t know that she won’t get better. The doctor said that she’s stable. He said that there’s still a chance that she could wake up. We just have to wait for them to take her off the medication.”
“A fucking chance,” I scoffed. “He also said that while her body is healing, there might be too much damage for her to come back from. She’s had so much fucking surgery that there’s nothing left of her organs to repair. She’s there only because we haven’t pulled the fucking plug.”
I turned and walked away. I couldn’t take any more right now. I couldn’t sit there and plead with her to be okay or think that my presence had any effect on the outcome. But most of all, I couldn’t sit there and think that there was still a chance. With every day that passed, whether in an induced coma or not, I knew that her body was shutting down. It was so fucking clear on the nurses’ faces. They knew she didn’t have long and they were waiting for us to all clue in on it.
“Maybe you just need to go home for the night. Check on Kayla.”
I hadn’t realized that I had been staring out the window. I had walked to the front of the hospital and I was just staring outside at the parking lot. Maybe deep down, I knew that I needed to leave.
“You’ll stay with her?” I asked Cap.
“Until they kick me out.”
I nodded and walked out of the hospital, but when I got home, I couldn’t sleep. All I could see when I closed my eyes was Becky lying in that fucking hospital bed. So, I sat in the living room and stared at the fucking wall for hours. How had my life spun so far out of control? I had finally had everything I ever wanted and then I fucked it up. My daughter was barely hanging on and I didn’t know what I could do to help her. I had thrown Becky out of my life, and now I was losing her for good.
“Dad?”
“Yeah?” I asked, shaking my blurred vision. Fuck, I really needed some sleep.
“How’s Becky?” Kayla sat down beside me and curled up in a ball. She looked so fucking innocent, even though I knew that was no longer the case. I didn’t want to tell her the truth, but God, I didn’t want to lie to her either. I wasn’t sure she would believe it coming from me. I was a shitty liar, but I was even worse at trying to make Kayla believe that everything would be alright when I damn well knew it wouldn’t be.
“She’s not doing good.”
She blinked back tears and swiped at her face. “Do you think I could see her?”
“It’s not safe. With that guy still on the loose, I don’t want to take any chances.”
“But if she doesn’t make it…I need to see her.”
Looking into my daughter’s eyes, there was no way that I could deny her. If this was what she needed, I couldn’t take that from her.
“Okay. I’ll take you tomorrow. Why don’t you go get some sleep?”
She scooted over to me and snuggled up against me. “I’ll stay with you. I don’t want you to be alone.”
I smiled and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her in close. I stayed like that with Kayla the rest of the night, and in the morning when we got up, neither of us spoke about the fact that we sat in silence for most of the night together.
✯✯✯✯✯
“Do you want me to go in with you?”
Kayla looked through the window into Becky’s room and chewed on her lip. I already knew that she was barely holding it together, so I wasn’t sure that going in alone was a good idea.
“No, I want to say goodbye alone.”
I nodded and stood outside her door that remained open. Ice stood on the other side of the door, pretending that I wasn’t here. No one knew what to say to me. Everyone acted like she was going to pull through, even though we all knew that was a lie. If she hadn’t woken up yet, it wasn’t likely to happen.
“They started taking her off the medication this morning,” Ice said from beside me.
“Why didn’t Cap call me?”
He shrugged. “You know Cap. He always has his reasons.”
“Did they say how long it takes?”
“Could be hours. Could be days.”
I gritted my teeth and did my best not to snap at him. “That’s not a fucking answer.”
“Yeah, well, if the doctors don’t know, I guess they can’t fucking tell you,” he shot back.
I sighed and leaned back against the wall. This was fucking brutal. I thought I heard crying, so I inched closer to the door and listened for what was happening.
“I’m sorry, Becky. I should have told you that I love you. You’ve been like a mother and big sister all rolled up in one for me, and I never told you.”
I dropped my head back against the wall and stared up at the ceiling, working my throat to keep my emotions under control. I never realized how close she was to Becky. Why had I kept her away from Becky for so fucking long? She was the only woman that Kayla really bonded with and I had just snatched that away from her.
“I wish that we had more time together, but I want you to know that if you don’t wake up, we’ll be okay. I’ll take care of Dad, and I promise that I’ll remember everything you told me.”
Her tears about broke my fucking heart. Tears slipped down my cheeks and I wiped at them hastily, but I was having a hell of a time trying to pull myself together. I jerked when I felt a hand on my shoulder. Ice was standing next to me, not looking at me, but standing with me like he completely understood. He didn’t say a fucking thing, but he squeezed my shoulder and then took his place again on the other side of the door.
I wiped the stray tears from my face and took a deep breath before I walked into the room and stood beside Kayla. She stood and placed a kiss on Becky’s cheek before burying her face in my chest. I refused to cry anymore. It wouldn’t do any good, and it wouldn’t help Kayla in any way to see her old man breaking down.
“Come on. I’ll take you home.”
She nodded into my chest and we walked out of the room. With every step, I wondered if that would be the last time I saw Becky alive. Would she die while I was taking Kayla home? Did I say everything I should have when I was alone with her? But by the time I got to my truck, I was fucking pissed. It was bad enough that Kayla was hurting, but now Becky was lying in the hospital and Delaney was dead. Enough was enough.
I got Kayla back to our suite and then I headed to the IT room. I was tired of sitting around waiting for something to happen. I needed to find something that would put this jackass away, or at least lead me to him so I could take him out.
“Tell me what we’ve got, Rob.”
He sighed and rubbed at his eyes. “Nothing. I’ve been through all the footage. Whoever this guy was, he was good enough with a computer to know how to hide his face and manipulate things from Becky’s computer. Even when he was breaking into other houses, he knew who had cameras and how to avoid them.”
“What about that guy from Becky’s feed from when her car was moved into another driveway?”
“I’ve been over it a million times. There’s nothing there for me to use.”
“Well, fu
cking find something! Isn’t this what you’re fucking paid for?” I shouted. “Get Knight on it. He’s good with computers.”
“Knight’s at the hospital with Kate. She’s having the baby.”
I gripped my hair in anger. I knew that he needed to be there, but why the fuck was his world still turning when mine was falling apart? I stormed out of the room and practically ran out of the building to my truck. If no one else was going to find answers, then I would find them, and I wouldn’t rest until that asshole was dead or behind bars.
✯✯✯✯✯
“What the fuck are you doing?”
I slowly opened my eyes and looked into Cap’s really pissed ones. He was in my room, glaring down at me like I had kicked his favorite puppy. Scratch that, he was in Becky’s room. I glanced around and saw that I was stretched out in Becky’s bed. I had been at the house all last night searching for answers. I must have passed out early this morning.
“I’ve been trying to call you for two fucking days.”
“Two days? No, that’s not right. I’ve been…” I scratched my head and tried to piece together what happened. Before I came to Becky’s house, I had been at the police station for a whole fucking day, trying to get anything I could out of Sean or the detectives. When that didn’t work, I literally went to every fucking house on Becky’s street and questioned all the neighbors. Well, most of the neighbors. Some of them hadn’t been home. It had been two, maybe three days since I left the hospital.
“Yeah, you haven’t been answering your phone.”
“I guess it died. I haven’t been home.”
“No shit. I got phone calls from Sean, begging me to get you the fuck out of his hair, but by the time I showed up, you were gone. I never thought you would come back to the crime scene.”
“I didn’t intend to. I was questioning the neighbors and when that didn’t pan out, I came back here to look for answers.”
“They have police doing that shit. You were supposed to be by Becky’s side.”
I scrubbed at my face and stood up. “I couldn’t just sit around and wait for her to die. I needed to do something.”
“I get that, but next time you need to fucking check in. Nobody knew where you were. Did you even think about Kayla? She’s been asking for you for two days. I had to tell her all kinds of shit excuses for why you weren’t answering her.”
“Shit.” I ran a hand down my face again and stretched my back out. I was fucking exhausted, but no matter how much I wanted to lay down again, I needed to get back out there and look for Becky’s killer.
“You’re going back to the hospital. You said you would be back and you never fucking showed.”
“I can’t. I can’t go back there and-”
“She’s completely off the meds,” he said before I could finish.
I stared at him, hoping that he was about to tell me that she was okay or was waking up, but the dullness in his eyes gave him away. “If she’s not waking up, I’m not going back.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“I can’t! What the fuck do you want from me? Is it not enough that I sat by her bed for a fucking week as she died slowly more and more every day? Do you need to rip out my fucking heart and have it die on the table next to her?”
“Listen, asshole. I know that this is hard on you. It’s fucking hard on me too. I’ve known her for years. She’s been with me from the beginning, so don’t act like this is only hurting you. I know that the chances of her waking up aren’t good, but I’ll be damned if you’re going to hide out here while she dies alone in the fucking hospital. You’re going back with me and we’re going to be with her until she either wakes up or her heart stops beating, because she would do the same fucking thing for you.”
And once again, Cap was fucking right. He was always right. There was a reason that he was the boss. I snatched my clothes off the chair in the corner and pulled on my clothes. I didn’t like it, but he was right. I had to at least go to the hospital.
Except, the moment we stepped inside the hospital, I froze. I couldn’t take another step toward her room. Seeing her would be like going back to that night. I had actually been able to wipe her image from my mind last night, and I wasn’t sure I could go back there. Cap grabbed me by the elbow and started dragging me down the hallway to the elevators. I struggled the whole time, knowing that if I stepped back inside that room, I wouldn’t come back out. I would die in there right alongside Becky, and then who would look out for Kayla? I couldn’t go on as a shell of the man I was when I was with Becky. Though deep down, I knew that no matter if I went in that room or not, I wouldn’t be the same ever again.
“Let’s go,” Cap growled, jerking on my arm. “Stop fucking fighting me on this.”
“I can’t fucking go in there,” I practically shouted at Cap as he shoved the door open and pushed me into her room.
“Coop?”
I spun around and looked into Becky’s wide brown eyes. My sunshine was awake.
CHAPTER FORTY-THREE
Becky
I never thought I’d open my eyes again. I really thought the last thing I would see was Delaney’s body on the floor next to mine. That night was a blur, but the pain was real and vivid in my mind. I wasn’t sure I would ever forget what it felt like every time that knife slid into my body.
Tears pricked my eyes when reality struck that I was alive and it didn’t look like that was going to change at any time. How was it possible that I survived?
“I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”
I could see Coop sitting on the ground next to me. He had tears in his eyes and he was holding me. But if that really happened, if he was really there and told me he loved me, where was he now? Why was I all alone?
“I can’t fucking go in there.”
The door to my room opened and Cap shoved Coop inside, but he didn’t look like he wanted to be in here. “Coop?”
His whole body went rigid as he slowly looked up at me. I didn’t understand. He didn’t look like he wanted to see me. Why was he there then? Why did he say those things to me? Was it all my imagination or was he only saying it because he thought I was going to die?
Cap walked forward, a huge grin on his face, but Coop just stood there, like he couldn’t move. “Holy shit, you’re awake,” Cap said, snatching up my hand. I winced and he immediately put it down gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. How are you feeling?”
But I couldn’t tear my eyes off Coop. I needed him to make the first move, guide me in some way as to what would happen now. I was so confused and I didn’t know what to say. Did he really love me? Should I ask him to come closer? Maybe he thought I would die and he would never have to see me again.
“Becky?”
I finally looked at Cap and brushed off the hurt that Coop hadn’t made any attempt to come closer. I faked a smile. “I’m okay. It’s all a little fuzzy and I’m tired”
“Well, they have you on some pretty heavy painkillers. Has the doctor been in?”
I nodded, but felt myself starting to drift off again. I wanted to keep my eyes open. I wanted to find out what the hell was going on. Coop was here, but he wasn’t saying anything. What did that mean? I couldn’t figure it out and my brain grew fuzzy once more before I slipped off to sleep again.
That was the way it was for what I assumed was days. I woke up for moments, but I kept drifting off to sleep almost as soon as I woke up. Sometimes I woke up in pain and the nurse would rush in to calm me down. No one seemed to want me to get agitated at all. I remembered seeing Cap here whenever I woke up, but not Coop. There was one time that I swore I saw him as I was drifting off, hiding in the shadows, but I couldn’t be sure if it was real. And then there were times that I woke up and thought he was holding my hand. I could swear that I could feel the heat of him all around me, but when I woke up, he was gone. It was like I was imagining all of it.
After what felt like a week or more, I was finally able to stay
awake longer. They backed off the meds some, so when I woke up one morning and didn’t immediately want to go back to sleep, I took that as a sign that I was getting better.
“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Cap grinned. “It’s about time you woke up.”
“What day is it?” yawned and thought about trying to sit up, but stopped when I moved slightly and everything tensed up in my body.
“It’s Wednesday. You’ve been in and out of it for a little over a week.”
“Shit. I’ve been here a whole week?”
“It’s been longer than that.” My gaze swung to Coop’s dark and stormy eyes. He was here, sitting in the chair beside my bed. I couldn’t figure out if he was mad at me or just being Coop. And if he was mad at me, why was he here? And where had he been all this time?
“Yeah, you’ve been in here for over two weeks, but the doctor said that your body is healing. All that sleeping has been good for you,” he said with a grin. “But we’re ready for you to come back to the land of the living.”
My eyes flicked back to Coop’s, but he was still just staring at me in that very Coop way that didn’t tell me a damn thing about what he was thinking.
“You know, I’m gonna check in with the doctor,” Cap said, looking from Coop and then back to me. I suddenly panicked, scared to be alone with Coop. What if he rejected me again? If Cap stayed, Coop wouldn’t tear my heart apart again, right? I scrambled for Cap’s hand, but he was already moving for the door, just out of reach. He was out the door before I could stop him, and then it was just me with my heart pounding out of control as Coop stared at me.
He blinked and it was like it knocked him out of the trance he was in. He was right by my side just a second later, his hand slipping around mine gently as the other cupped my good cheek. “You’re alive.”
I stared into those gorgeous eyes, thinking that if I said yes, that would be pointing out the obvious.
His eyes filled with tears and he dropped his head to my chest, like he was listening for my heartbeat. “I didn’t think you were going to live. Even this past week when you were waking up, I kept telling myself that it wasn’t real. I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”
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