“I’m not —”
I came around the island and interrupted him with a hand on his crotch. “You want things to happen between us?”
Eddie nodded, his dick going ridged. Who was easy now?
I palmed his cock. “Then you stay the fuck out of Arthur’s business.” I leaned in and licked his earlobe. “Got it?”
He nodded again, lifting his hand to my tit. “Got it.”
“Good,” I purred. It was a dirty play, I’d admit, but Eddie was digging out of desperation. Perhaps to save face with his cop buddies or whatever. He had no reason to continue to harass Arthur and we both knew it.
The door of my apartment opened. “Jade, I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep your door unlocked.” Steve walked in. “What the fuck?”
I spun, tearing Eddie’s hand from my body as I moved. “Steve?”
“What the hell is going on here?” Steve stormed toward us, his face a mask of fury.
I met him halfway, my body tense, fists at my sides ready for a fight. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“What am I doing here?” he yelled. “What the fuck is he doing here?” Steve jabbed a finger in Eddie’s direction.
“I invited him,” I said as I took a step back, crossing my arms. “And I didn’t invite you.”
Eddie stood, mirroring my stance. “I think you need to leave.”
Steve’s eyes shot wide. “I need to leave?”
“Yeah, I don’t think Jade wants you here.” Eddie moved to stand behind me.
“I can handle this, Eddie,” I said with a quick frown over my shoulder before turning back to Steve. “I don’t like you just walking into my place as if you own it. Get out.”
Steve shifted his glare to me. I stifled a shiver of unease.
“Get out?” Steve’s eyes flashed and Eddie took a step closer to me. “You’re kicking me out?”
“We didn’t have plans tonight, Steve. You can’t just bust in here whenever you want. So, yeah, it’s time to go.”
Steve and I stared at each other, unspoken dialogue going on between us. Payback was going to be brutal but only if I cared.
Finally Steve broke. He took a step back. “Suit yourself.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out a card. He flung it on the island before walking to the door. “Got your security pass. Figured you earned it today.” He curled his lips. “Hey, Ed, you watch yourself with her—she’s a dirty player.”
He left, slamming the door like a five-year-old. My shoulders sagged and Eddie wrapped me in a hug from behind.
“That kinda sucked,” he murmured into my hair.
“Ya think?” I extracted myself and moved to the island. I poured more wine and downed the whole thing.
“You want me to go?” He sounded like that was the last thing he wanted to do.
I looked at him over the ridge of my glass then shook my head.
“Good.” Eddie went to the door and locked it, throwing the chain on for safe measure. He moved over to me and ran his hand up my back. “How about a massage?”
I laughed lightly, put my glass down then walked away, stripping my clothes off, piece by piece before disappearing into my bedroom.
The massage had gotten carried away pretty quickly. Before I knew it, Eddie had his face buried in my ass, licking at my pussy in long, lazy strokes. I wiggled, pushing back until he was forced to leave his prize behind as he sat up. I got onto my hands and knees, looking at him over my shoulder with a wicked grin before moving to my bedside table. He watched me in a daze, his cock so hard that it seemed painful. I returned to him with a condom pinched between my fingers, moving on my knees, swaying my hips. I leaned down, my hair brushed along his shaft, tickling him, torturing him. He jolted when I sheathed his dick in my mouth, gliding all the way down, sucking back the salty tang of his flesh and precum. He reached down to grab my breasts, holding the weight of them in his palms, teasing my nipples with the flat of his hands.
I pulled away, leaving his cock hard and weeping then opened the package and slipped the condom on. When I climbed on top of him, he let out a long moan, his cock spasming, eager to thrust. We were sitting, arms and legs entangled, with a slow rhythm I started to ride his gorgeous body. My tits rubbed along his chest every time I rolled my hips, my eyes locked with his. Sex with the hot as fuck cop was just what I needed.
He spent the night, actually slept next to me, something he hadn’t done since we’d been dating. But I felt like I needed company with Kassey away for another night. It was ridiculous, really, but after the argument with Steve, I wanted someone in my corner. Eddie in my bed was good enough.
I made some coffee and pulled out the pastries from the night before that hadn’t been eaten.
“You working today?” Eddie glanced at the clock on the stove.
I sighed. “Yeah, hopefully without any more horribly awkward moments.”
“Awkward moments?”
“I walked in on Arthur and Helen doing it in his office yesterday.” I let out a low chuckle. “Wasn’t really the highlight of my day.”
Eddie forced a laugh. “No, I’d imagine not.”
“I’ll be knocking next time I think about bursting into a room unannounced.” I got quiet, fingers moving to the security pass in front of me. Steve’s act of kindness was going to come at a price. His anger would only amplify it.
“What’s that for?”
“This?” I picked up the card. “It gets me into the archive room. Got started on a new project yesterday. Steve brought me down there to show me some files he thought I’d be interested in.”
“Oh yeah?” His voice was strained. Jealous? Maybe.
A beat of silence passed. “It’s a distraction.” I dropped the card. “I found another passageway entrance down there.” I stood and moved to dump the rest of my coffee down the sink.
“Like a gate?”
I turned, leaned against the counter and nodded. “Sealed off with some plastic… Well, kind of. There’s no actual seal and I yanked the plastic cover off by accident.”
Eddie moved around the island and grabbed his jeans from the floor, pulling his phone out as he did. “I don’t remember there being a passageway entrance marked there.” He swiped his phone and tapped it a few times, angling it this way and that. “That’s weird.”
I walked over to him and peered over his shoulder. “How can you read on that thing?”
He moved the drawing to the library area and tapped the screen until it got a bit bigger. “See there? That’s the gate right behind where Candace’s body was found, stairs leading down to the passageway.” He moved the screen. “The archive room is marked on here too. See? No other gate labelled.”
I took his phone and studied the picture, moving it this way and that. “That is fucked up. There’s definitely a passage there.” I paused. “No, wait, it was covered up by a shelf. One of the library employees told me yesterday. He said they just found it a few weeks ago, kept it hidden until they could do the necessary repairs to keep the dampness from getting to the books.”
“Well, I didn’t see any mention of it in the investigation report.” Eddie sighed. “The team wouldn’t have spent too long in the archive room though. There was no trace evidence around Candace’s body or the alcove that she was found in. So I can understand how a hidden passageway would have been missed.” He rubbed his face then looked up at me. “Hey, you think you could get me into that room?”
I handed him back his phone. “Sure, yeah.”
“Great! What time do you get off work today?” Eddie bent down and grabbed his jeans again before slipping them on quickly.
“Four.” I snatched up his shirt from the couch and handed it to him.
“I’ll swing by campus then, okay?” He leaned in and kissed my cheek before taking the shirt and pulling it on.
“Ah, sure.” I winced. “Do me a favour though? Don’t come by the office. I don’t think either Arthur or Steve would be too keen on bum
ping into you.”
Eddie chuckled. “No worries.” He winked and pulled me into his arms. “I’m really only interested in seeing you anyway.”
22
Eddie left and I couldn’t help but feel a little sad. He was a sweet man. Safe. Not a heart shredder. And it wasn’t enough…of a thrill? Enough danger? He wasn’t boring. He was just not a risk. And that was totally fucked up. What kind of stupid idiot couldn’t get enough from a man like Eddie? He had a steady, honourable job. He was hot as fucking hell and knew how to screw me good and proper. He was a distraction from things and not in a bad way. I mean, he made me forget about everything else. Isn’t that what women said was the making of a dream man? So why the hell wasn’t I feelin’ it?
I sighed. Started for the shower. I’d be seeing him later. Any normal woman would have gotten a bit of a butterfly stomach over that. Me? Nothing. No excitement. I’d have thought maybe I was dead inside if I wasn’t dreading what the wrath of Steve would entail. One thing I knew for sure, Steve walking in on me and Eddie hadn’t been an accident and it meant punishment was coming. That’s how Steve worked. By the way his eyes had blazed when he left, I knew it wouldn’t take long to feel the burn.
Kassey was sitting on my bed when I came out of the bathroom. I’d steamed myself nearly to the point of scalding. With a towel wrapped around my head and another around my body, I felt the chill of the air like my skin was on fire.
“I’m back.” She smiled. “You been up to no good while I was gone?”
I gave a bitter laugh and bypassed her to get to my closet. “Silly question.”
“Okay, I know that tone. What’s up?”
“How was the sleep study?” I grabbed a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, happy that Arthur was not one for formal attire.
“Sleepy.” She nudged me with her foot. “Tell me what’s going on.”
I sighed, turned and threw my clothes on the bed. “You really don’t want to know.”
She gave me a kick. “Out with it.”
“Steve walked in on me and Eddie.”
“And?” She leaned back on her elbows, her eyebrows raised. “Wasn’t that what you were gunning for? Payback?”
I gulped. Nodded. Then sat down on the bed too. “I’m confused.”
“About Steve? About Eddie?” She pushed herself up. “Of course you are. You’ve rekindled a relationship with an abusive asshole. You’re blocking a potentially healthy relationship. You know how hard I fought to get you to break up with Steve the first time. And although I’d love to believe that you are the one in control of this, and I’d love to see you get that bastard back for what he did to you, I have my doubts about your wisdom in this.”
“Okay, Dr. Hays, lay it out for me.” I tried to keep it light but we both knew that was bullshit. I was stressed out about Steve’s reaction to seeing Eddie and me and that was damn dangerous territory. It meant I cared about his opinion. It meant I didn’t have as much control as I’d liked to believe. I was slipping back to old patterns of response. Like Pavlov’s dog. It had become my instinct to react to Steve in this way when we’d been dating. It appeared that time had not erased that response.
“He’s a narcissist. You know this. Completely self-serving. And he’s got a hook into you that just won’t give. You’re attracted to him. Have been from the second, and I mean second, that you saw him. I was there. I remember. He sold you a lie. A bit fat fucking dream of the perfect guy. He was charming, he was thoughtful. He said all the right things. And you fell for every single one.” She shook her head, a sad smile on her lips. “I wanted you to be happy. I think that’s why I ignored it. Why I didn’t try to stop you from falling so hard. As if I could. But you did. And now you’re paying that price over and over again. He reeled you back in. He let you believe that you could have power over him.”
“He didn’t reel me back in. I jumped back, eyes wide open.”
She snorted, waved her hand. “Okay, fine, you stupidly invited him back into your life. You didn’t ask my advice before you did that and I suspect it’s because you knew I’d talk you out of it.”
“I’m smarter than he is.”
“Maybe. Sure. Yeah. But he was born to be like this. A natural manipulator. And I just don’t think you really stand a chance. You may want to tell yourself you do. That you can conquer him, but deep down you know this is not right. That you’re losing. You wouldn’t be so bothered right now if he didn’t have some control over your emotions. Just like last time.”
I slumped down on the bed next to her. “Why isn’t Eddie good enough? Why can’t I be satisfied?”
“Because Steve gives you what you crave. He knows exactly what you want and right now he’s providing it. Sex. Interest in you. Consideration of your struggle to find peace. That dark side of you that makes you feel naughty. I’ve always said you were a bit of a masochist. You like it rough and I don’t necessarily only mean sexually.” She patted my leg. “He speaks to all your deepest desires. And before you broke it off with him the first time, you were putting up with a lot worse so you’re probably rationalizing pretty good right now. Convincing yourself that you have all the power. That you can walk away at any time. But you did walk away. And then you buckled and went back. There’s a reason why the experts say you have to go no contact when you end things with a narcissist. No contact, Jade.”
That was what the experts said. It’s funny how I could know that professionally and yet not follow through. Was I too full of pride to let it go? To accept he had defeated me before and not try to get revenge in this fucked up, destructive way? Or lie to myself about being after some kind of revenge, would be more accurate. What kind of idiot was I to turn my back on someone like Eddie because he just wasn’t enough of a tormentor?
“Am I that fucked up, Kassey?” My thoughts turned to Sean Ray and the night of the attack. Flashes of that violence. Would they ever leave my head completely?
“You never got treatment, Jade. You’ve never talked to anyone about it.”
“I’ve talked to you,” I whispered. “I talked and talked and talked.”
She nodded. “You haven’t dealt with it.”
“I’ve lost too much.” I choked a bit. Swallowed back those dark emotions. “I can’t… I need to get something back.” Fill that hole. The void that I couldn’t explain.
“You need to concentrate on repairing the damage you’ve caused.”
I frowned. To me? To her? Guilt slammed me.
“You’re scrambling to grasp the things you’ve never been able to control and ignoring the things you can.”
I didn’t understand. I felt like we weren’t talking about Steve anymore. Her eyes were intent, dark, narrowing. Was she judging me? Was I losing my mind?
“You have a path and a plan, a noble one to get back what was taken from us. From me.”
“I can’t undo what happened.” Tears bubbled to my eyes, my throat clenched.
“No, you can’t, but there are other ways to right wrongs.”
Did she know about my hunts? I couldn’t form the words. My head felt fuzzy, unfocused. I didn’t know what she wanted of me but I felt like I was disappointing her somehow. “Why can’t I see what I need to do?”
She reached out and touched my cheek before cupping my face. “You’re a smart girl, Jade. You’re going to need to figure this one out on your own.” She leaned in and gave me a brief kiss. “Now don’t be late for work.”
And when I looked at her, just in that moment, I thought what was left of my heart was going to shred to nothing, and the dread that I felt almost always was going to suck me under once and for all.
I went to the campus bookstore. Not because I needed a book but because I’d done some digging and I knew Devin Bells worked there. It was on the way, anyway, and I needed to chat with her.
She wasn’t working the register which wasn’t a total shock given how meek she seemed. I found her stocking shelves. Quietly working away, hidden on the second floor in the
Psychology texts.
I grabbed a book from the stack that Devin was putting away. “It okay if I take one of these? Don’t want to mess up your shelf there.”
She glanced up at me like she was shocked someone was talking to her, her eyes wide, cheeks flushing. “Oh yeah, sure. Take it.”
I smiled. “You’re the artist that painted the portrait for Professor Stone, right? You came by his office yesterday.”
Her face got redder, a tentative smile on her lips. “Yes, that’s me. Devin.” She gave a small wave, flashing a pretty impressive looking lion tattoo on her forearm.
“Beautiful work.”
“Thank you. I just got it done.” She shifted her sleeve to cover it again.
“I think I saw you the other day with Kiefer Jones. I had a chance to watch him rehearse. He’s pretty good too.”
She snapped her eyes up again. “He’s a wonderful actor. You should see the show when it goes live. Kiefer is amazing as Oedipus.”
“I can tell.” I cocked my head. “He’s your boyfriend, right?”
She nodded. “Yes, we’ve been seeing each other for a while.”
“I’m surprised he has a girlfriend. He seems to get a lot of attention. Must be hard on you sometimes.”
“Well, it used to. I guess.” She shrugged. “But he’s an actor. He needs attention. Adoration.” She giggled. “And we’re not really exclusive.” She turned back to her shelf and slid a book in. “You were with Professor Caul when I picked up the cheque. Do you work with him?”
Her tone gave me pause. Curiosity tinged with something else. “I guess, in a way. I’m working for Professor Stone, which means I encounter Caul pretty frequently.”
“Ah.” Her cheeks grew redder. “He’s a great prof. Really understanding.”
“Professor Caul?” I screwed up my face. Steve was many things, but understanding wasn’t one of them.
Burning Kiss Page 16