* * *
We continued drinking until we arrived in that same blurry world as the party before, the pair of us taking up our old roles as staggering idiots. Having planted roots in a picnic bench at the front of the building, I could barely even talk in a straight line.
I laughed at the tall grey flats opposite us, as they split into identical pairs in my eyes, before merging together again. The Spice Girls song “Two Become One” popped into my head. Then my laughter was interrupted by the sound of a fire alarm behind us.
“Right, everybody out!” an old man who I hadn’t seen before shouted as he threw open the doors to the hall. The music stopped and one by one the revellers gathered in front of us. Once everyone was outside the old man went in searching for the fire.
He returned a couple of minutes later. “Somebody’s set the fire alarm off in there and the fire extinguisher in the kitchen has been sprayed as well. I don’t know whose idea it was to do that, but it’s not funny and you’ve ruined it for everyone else now. You’re all going to have to go home.”
The group let out a collective groan and began phoning parents to come and pick them up. I laughed at how everyone had ended up where we’d spent the whole night. Outside was definitely the place to be. As I sat there watching the party unravel piece by piece, the police arrived. The blue and yellow chequered car pulled onto the drive and my neighbour got out, flanked by another copper who might have been one of the ones from outside my house that time, though I only knew Shane well enough to recognise him for sure.
“It was these two then was it?” he said to what had turned out to be Emily’s dad. “You’re both under arrest for-”
“It wasn’t them officer,” Emily’s dad interrupted.
“What do you mean it wasn’t them?” Shane replied angrily. “How can you be sure?”
“Funnily enough they are the only kids it couldn’t have been. When the alarm went off and we ran outside they were already out here sitting down, they’ve been outside for most of the night.”
I looked at Al, he wasn’t so much sitting down as lying in the seated position.
“Do you not think it’s strange that these two have been outside most of the night?” Shane pressed on.
Al peered up through his one open eye. “Music’s shit in there mate.”
“Use language like that again and I’ll arrest you for being drunk and disorderly,” he said, turning away in disgust.
“Twat,” Al muttered under his breath.
“Right I warned you, you’re under arrest for-”
“I said it sir,” I quickly butted in.
“You called me a twat?”
“No officer, I called Al a twa-, called Al the T word for swearing in front of you before.”
He looked down at the pair of us with disbelieving eyes. “So they’re all going home now then are they Mr Spalding?”
“Yes, parties over for tonight, I won’t be doing that again in a hurry.”
My neighbour turned to the pair of us. “I’ve got my eye on you two.” We put on the biggest fake smiles we could.
“Thank you officer, that’s comforting to know,” I replied. “I will sleep soundly at night knowing you are watching after the pair of us.”
He and the other copper stormed off defeated and drove away. We’d won that little battle.
That night I sneaked silently in the back door of the house when I got home, then in the morning I woke to a torrent of abuse from my mum. The neighbour had told his wife about the whole thing who in turn had told my mum who grounded me for another month.
It looked like it was one all now.
Church Group Page 18