Julia wanted to punch a wall.
“She texted her girlfriend last night. Check to see where the call came from. That should help.”
“Got it.”
“Also, I want you to go through her house with a fine-tooth comb. I mean, check her garbage cans, everything. She must have left a clue behind as to where she was going.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She watched as the team headed out then went back to her desk. She’d received an email from the powers that be telling her to go see McHugh’s widow. Ugh. Not her idea of a good time, but it was necessary. She cleaned out his locker, placed his belongings in a box, and made the long, slow trek out of the station.
All activity stopped as everyone watched her make her way to the parking lot. Police officers were in danger any time they were on duty, but they couldn’t obsess about that. They had to push it out of their thoughts as they did their jobs day in and day out. So when one of their brothers or sisters was killed, it really hit home. They could be next and the thought was sobering.
Small white flakes hit her windshield as she drove to Bidwell, where McHugh had lived with his wife. They were young and hadn’t started a family yet which was some relief. She pulled up in front of their nondescript, two-story house and retrieved the box.
The flakes stung as they hit her face, but she refused to change her expression. She kept a serious face as she approached the front door. The door opened before she could knock, and Mrs. McHugh wailed at the sight of Julia.
Julia stood firm and let the widow pound on her chest and shoulders.
“This is all your fault,” she screamed.
The blows didn’t hurt, necessarily, but they certainly didn’t feel good. Yet Julia did not flinch. She felt responsible for the young officer’s death so took the hits as part of her punishment.
When Mrs. McHugh ran out of steam, Julia set the box down and enveloped her in her arms. She held her while she sobbed.
“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Mrs. McHugh said. “He was much too young to die.”
“It’s a great loss to everyone.”
“Thank you for saying that. I don’t believe you feel that way though.”
“It’s the truth. I’m very sorry, Mrs. McHugh.”
Mrs. McHugh stepped out of the embrace.
“What do you need from me?”
“I need you to sign a form that you received his belongings.”
“Fine. Where’s the form?”
Mrs. McHugh was suddenly as cold as the weather.
“It’s right here. Would you mind?”
Julia handed her her phone and she squiggled her signature with her finger.
“Thank you for bringing his things. I just wish they’d have sent someone else. If I never see you again it’ll be too soon.”
Her words stung, but Julia knew she deserved it. She handed her a business card.
“When you’re ready to hear about benefits and all that, you give this officer a call. Don’t worry, there’s no hurry. Just whenever you’re ready.”
Mrs. McHugh nodded, obviously biting back tears.
“When can I get him?” she asked.
“Soon. Hopefully, by the end of the day.”
“Hopefully? How much of an autopsy needs to be done to determine he was shot to death?”
“I’m sorry. I’ll try to get them to release him to you as soon as possible.”
“I appreciate that. I have arrangements to make, you know?”
“I understand,” Julia said softly.
“You can leave now. I don’t like looking at you and you’d damned well better not show up at his funeral. I don’t care what the damned procedures say.”
That one hit Julia hard, but she didn’t let on. If that was her wish, she would abide by it.
“His box is pretty heavy. Would you like me to take it inside for you?”
“I’m stronger than I look.”
“You’d have to be. Call us when you’re ready.” Julia walked back to her car. She sat in it and thought about going back to the office. She really didn’t want to and she was already in Bidwell where Cullen lived. She texted her to let her know she was nearby.
Hey. I’m in the neighborhood and don’t want to go back to the station. Can I come over?
Sure! I’m ready for some golf. You’re off early. Everything okay?
I’ll be right there.
Julia didn’t feel like going into everything she was feeling over text. She was upset and excited at the same time. She knew Cullen would help her feel better and be a sounding board. She could get used to Cullen being in her life.
She rang the doorbell and Cullen answered looking sharp in faded Levi’s and a green Oregon Duck hoodie that made her eyes look like emeralds.
“Come in,” Cullen said. “It’s freezing out there. Is that snow falling?”
“It is. And, yes, it’s cold.”
Cullen closed the door behind her.
“How was your morning? I didn’t expect you for a couple of hours.”
“It was a mixed bag.”
“How so?”
“We don’t have any information on where Sara went. The same gun that shot up Sara’s house shot the Montague kid. And the wife of the officer who was killed last night was none too happy to see me. I know I shouldn’t tell you these things. I don’t know why I do.”
“You need someone to talk to. Let me be that someone.” Cullen wrapped Julia in her arms. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you’d have to see his widow. Didn’t someone notify her last night?”
“Yes, but I cleaned out his locker and took his belongings to her.”
Julia breathed in Cullen’s scent and was both soothed and aroused. She loved the feel of Cullen’s arms around her, but knew Cullen was only being nice. Still, she appreciated her friendship even if she wanted more.
“I heard from Sara again this morning.” Cullen stepped back, releasing Julia.
Julia’s heart raced and she was immediately back in detective mode.
“What did she say? Where is she? Did she say anything that could help?”
“No, and it was from a strange number. Not her phone.”
“She must have dumped her phone and bought a new one. What was the number?” Cullen showed Julia her phone, and Julia knew she needed to call the information in. “Give me just a second.”
She stepped into the kitchen to make the phone call.
“This is Stansworth. I need to know the location of this phone number.” She read the number off Cullen’s phone. “Got it? Call me as soon as you know something.”
Cullen paced while she waited for Julia to come back. She wished she could do more to help her find Sara. But Sara was careful even with Cullen. Cullen wondered if she’d been through this before. Maybe Sara Donovan wasn’t even her real name. Maybe she just invented herself while running from her past. The thought made her nauseous.
Julia came back into the entryway while staring at Cullen’s phone.
“What are you doing?” Cullen said.
“Just reading your texts with her. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. Do you see anything there that would help the investigation?”
“No, nothing. Thanks for letting me look, though. She seems really concerned about you. She’s worried how you’re holding up. How does that make you feel?”
“I don’t know. I’m still torn, you know? I mean, I don’t want to have anything to do with a murderer, but I miss us. Or at least who I thought we were. Of course, that was all based on false pretense.”
“So you really don’t know how to feel, do you?”
“I know I want to help you catch her. I know I want her to rot in hell. I mean, I know these things. Stupid emotions just get all jumbled sometimes.”
“And that’s fair. You ready to forget Sara and murder and cocaine and go play miniature golf?”
“I’m ready.”
“Great. Should we take two cars or should
I drive?”
“I’ll drive,” Cullen said. “Let’s go.”
“Have you ever been to Glowing Greens?” Julia asked as they headed down the back roads to Beaverton.
“Never. You?”
“I went to the one downtown once. It was a lot of fun with black lights and everything.”
“Black lights?” Cullen laughed. “That should be fun. Flashbacks, though. Major flashbacks.”
“No doubt.”
They arrived at the course and went inside. The black lights gave it a unique atmosphere. She could see the course was adorned with 3-D decorations and she smiled thinking of the fun they’d have.
There was nobody else on the course and the kid who took their money explained they’d just opened.
“Take your time and have fun.”
The course proved challenging to both Cullen and Julia. They found themselves missing what should have been easy shots. When they finished their game an hour later, Cullen’s sides hurt from laughing so hard.
When they stepped outside, Cullen saw that the snow had begun to stick.
“We should get home,” she said.
“Yeah. Are you okay to drive in the snow?”
“Sure thing. Just watch me.”
It wasn’t sticking in Bidwell, so Cullen drove them to a pub for burgers and beer.
“I can’t believe I’m going to drink beer,” Julia said. “First of all, I had too much to drink last night, and secondly, oh my God, my figure.”
Cullen laughed again. She always seemed to be doing that when she was with Julia. It was a good thing. A very good thing.
“Your body is smokin’ hot. Don’t you worry about a thing,” she said.
“Oh, it is, is it? It’s nothing compared to yours.”
“Hey now, that’s no fair. You got a sneak peek at mine this morning, which was purely unintentional, I assure you.”
“You didn’t hear me complaining, did you?”
“Why, Julia Stansworth, are you flirting with me?” She tried to sound light and joking, but inside she was dying to hear a yes.
“Maybe.” Julia was noncommittal. “At any rate, here’s to good beer. Bodies be damned.”
They clinked their glasses together and Cullen took a sip of her pumpkin ale. It was good, nice and crisp and so unlike the Guinness they’d been drinking the night before. She took another sip and watched Julia.
“What?” Julia said.
“We’re pretty good friends, aren’t we?”
“I like to think so. Why? What’s up?”
Cullen took a deep breath. She was risking a friendship, but she couldn’t keep her feelings to herself any longer.
“How would you feel? I mean, would you freak out? I mean… Oh hell. What would you say if I told you I’d be interested in more than just a friendship?” There. It was out. She braced herself for rejection.
“Are you sure, Cullen? You just got burned. I’d hate to be just a rebound for you.”
“You wouldn’t be, I promise. At least I think I promise. Sara and I really started dying even before she was arrested the first time. I so wanted to make it work because I didn’t want another failed relationship on my résumé, but it was over. I didn’t respect her anymore, you know?”
Julia nodded.
“I get that. I still don’t know, Cullen.”
“Fair enough. I get it. You don’t feel the same way. I hope I didn’t just screw up our friendship.”
“You didn’t screw anything up. And no, you don’t get it. I’d like very much to date you, Cullen. I’d like to see where things go. I just want to make sure you’re emotionally ready. I mean, crumbling or not, you were still in a relationship until yesterday morning.”
“Was it only yesterday? It seems like so long ago.”
“I know.”
“So you’re really interested in me? I mean, honestly?”
“Honestly. We need to go slow, though, Cullen. It’s imperative to me that you’re healed. I need to make sure I’m not going to be some flash in the pan to help you get over Sara.”
“You’re not, Julia. I promise you that. And we can go as slow as you want. I’m just thrilled you didn’t shoot me down.”
“How could I? I’m crazy about you, Cullen Matthews. Have been for a while now.”
“Not all the way back to high school, I bet.”
“You’d be surprised.”
Chapter Fourteen
Julia’s heart was thudding in her chest. This was like a dream come true. Cullen wanted to be with her. Her. Julia Stansworth. She wanted to pinch herself to make sure it was real. But she had to play it cool as she needed to protect her heart as well as Cullen’s.
She didn’t doubt that Cullen had feelings for her. Cullen was an honest person. If she said she wanted more than a friendship, then Julia believed her. But she couldn’t get Sara out of her head. Cullen and Sara had been brief, but it seemed like they’d burned hot and if Cullen was still burning hot but looking for somewhere to direct that heat, Julia didn’t want anything to do with that. So they’d go slow like she’d said and they’d see where they ended up.
“So does that make today our first date?” Julia asked.
“Like miniature golfing? Or here?”
“I was thinking golfing.”
“Sure, we can call it that.”
Julia beamed. She’d asked Cullen out for their first date. It was a great feeling.
“You look proud of yourself,” Cullen said.
“I am, if you must know.”
“Good.” Cullen laughed. “I’m through here. Are you ready to head back to my place?”
Julia’s whole body vibrated. She definitely wanted to go back to Cullen’s place. She wanted to get there, rip Cullen’s clothes off, and find her way to heaven. But she couldn’t, wouldn’t do that, not yet. She took a deep breath.
“What will we do there?”
“I’m in the mood to play poker.”
“Oh, you are, are you?” Cullen had wiped the floor with Julia the first time they’d played.
“Maybe strip poker?” Cullen grinned at her.
“Cullen…”
“I’m just joking, relax. We said we’d take it slow and we will. I promise.”
“Phew. Okay, let’s go back to your place.”
When they got to Cullen’s, Cullen tossed her phone on the dining room table while she went to get the cards and poker chips. Julia sat down and waited. When Cullen’s phone came alive, Julia started. She reached for the phone but pulled her hand back. It wasn’t her phone. It wasn’t her business, or was it?
Cullen came in ready to play.
“Your phone buzzed,” Julia said.
“Oh yeah?” She looked at it and her face fell.
“What’s up?”
“Sara.”
“Yeah? What does she say?”
“She’s just checking in.”
“You should respond to her.”
“Why, Julia? Why do you always want me to talk to her? She’s my past. You’re my present. I don’t want to have anything to do with her.”
“Because I want her to keep texting you. I want her to get comfortable. I want her to slip up.”
“Okay, what shall I say?”
“I don’t know. Keep it casual, but keep lines of communication open.”
What’s it like where you are? It’s snowing here today.
Snowing? It’s sunny and warm here.
Where are you? In Hawaii? LOL
“Nice touch,” Julia said. “I like it.”
“I’m trying.”
Have you talked to that fuckin detective yet?
“What do I say?” Cullen asked.
“That’s up to you.”
She’s been around. Asking lots of questions.
“Tell her about her house,” Julia said.
She’s so inept. She needs to give up. She’ll never find me.
Julia’s blood boiled. Inept? How dare she?
�
�You sure you want me to keep this conversation going?” Cullen asked.
“I’m sure.”
Did you hear about your house?
What about it?
Someone shot it up last night.
There was no immediate response.
“Maybe she’s gone now.” Cullen set her phone down and picked up the cards. “I’ll deal and you pass out the chips.”
“Sounds good.”
Cullen’s phone buzzed again.
Who did it?
Whoever shot Donnie.
No shit?
Yeah. Good thing you weren’t there.
No shit. I gotta go. I’ll check in later.
“Speaking of her house getting shot up,” Cullen said.
“Yeah?”
“When can I get my stuff?”
“I don’t know, Cullen. Everything in her house is evidence right now.”
“Damn.” Cullen shook her head. “What was I ever thinking getting involved with her?”
“You didn’t know. You had no idea.” Julia paused. “Right?”
“Of course, that’s right. How could you even ask?”
“Just checking. Sorry. I trust you, Cullen. Sometimes I just slip into detective mode.”
“Well, leave your badge and holster at the door when you’re with me, okay?”
“I’ll try. I really will.”
“Thank you.”
“So, did I ruin the mood? Everything?”
“No, we need to get used to each other. I get that. And I was involved with one of your suspects. That’s the truth, so it’s got to be weird for you.”
“I do trust you, though. It’s important to me that you know that.”
“I do.”
Cullen laid her hand over Julia’s. It was warm and strong, and Julia flipped her hand over so she could interlink their fingers. Her heart thudded, and she was scared that Cullen would pull away. But she didn’t. She gave Julia’s fingers a squeeze.
Julia’s phone rang interrupting the mood.
“Stansworth,” she barked.
“Detective? The locksmith got the safe open in Donovan’s house.”
“What did you find?”
“A ton of residue, presumably cocaine. But we found something in the very back of the safe. It’s a slip of paper and we think you should see it.”
“I’m on my way.”
Scene of the Crime Page 11