by Gemma Rogers
‘Yes, I’m the head administrator for the South East, I have to do all of Ben’s paperwork for the warehouses. Make sure licences are up to date, insurances, rental agreements, that kind of thing.’
‘Sounds busy.’
Amy nodded, her mouth full.
‘How’s Jason?’ Ben asked, dipping his bread in his bowl too.
‘Fine, working me hard. Says he wants to get together for beers and he’ll text you,’ I said, listening to the conversation that followed as Ben told Amy who Jason was. I concentrated on eating, zoning out momentarily and chewing blissfully. I thrust the incident with Ian to the back of my mind. I could dissect it later. Amy’s voice blurred into the background. It wasn’t until Ben refilled my almost empty glass my focus returned, and I tried to get back in on the thread of the conversation.
‘So, we don’t know how much we can afford, but looking around at the estate agents online, we might be,’ Amy chimed.
‘I’m sorry, what?’ I butted in. Silence fell over the table and they both stopped to look at me.
‘Not straight away, there’s no rush,’ Ben said, before his eyes returned to his bowl.
‘But we’ll see more of each other if we live together.’ Amy smiled but had her jaw clenched tightly. She placed her hand on Ben’s arm as if in ownership and narrowed her eyes at me.
‘You’re moving in together? Isn’t it a bit soon?’ I said, incredulous. I meant to provoke, and she bit, as I knew she would.
‘Why shouldn’t we?’
I shrugged, I wasn’t going to get drawn in to that conversation. My stomach sank as I thought about how I would pay the mortgage by myself. I’d have to get a lodger. I didn’t want Ben to move out; I didn’t want to be here without him and there was no way I could live alone.
A hush fell as we resumed eating until Amy piped up.
‘Are you seeing anyone, Eve?’ Her tone was sickly sweet, and it was my turn to bite.
‘Yes. Well, kind of.’
‘Who?’ Ben asked, and Amy glared at him.
A violent psychopath if tonight was anything to go by.
‘A guy I met at the gym, we’ve only been out twice. He’s taking me for dinner on Saturday.’
Ben lowered his eyes back to his bowl. Amy had won, she’d goaded me, and I’d taken the bait. Now he was hers and she knew it. Before long he would move out and I would be alone. My appetite left as soon as it had arrived, and I excused myself to use the bathroom.
I stared at my reflection in the mirror. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t tell him what was going on. I couldn’t drag Ben into this thing with Ian. He was a decent guy, the best kind. He deserved to be happy. The timing for us was all wrong. But surely Amy wouldn’t last. Six weeks into dating and she was already trying to mastermind their future. Did Ben not remember what happened to the pet rabbit in Fatal Attraction?
When I returned to the table, they were holding hands and my dinner almost made a second appearance. We exchanged pleasant conversation for the rest of the night, but it was stiff and polite, missing the banter than Ben and I shared when we were alone. I continued to drink, the second bottle of wine consumed quickly between the three of us. Everyone using it as a crutch to get through an excruciatingly painful evening. Amy grew louder and more obnoxious with each glass and at times I had to bite my tongue, worried I would say something to upset the happy couple.
At around ten, I could stand it no more. I excused myself, feigning a headache from ‘too much wine’, thanking them for a lovely evening and returning to the sanctuary of my room. I lay in the dark for a while, my thoughts turning back to Ian. What on earth had possessed him to hit that guy? He was only having a laugh. Why did he not shrug it off, tell him to get stuffed and walk away? The abrupt attack came out of nowhere. Was the guy okay? His face was covered in blood. There was no need for that level of violence and it reminded me what he was capable of. And what I was getting myself into.
Later, even with my headphones on, I could hear Amy’s exaggerated moans of pleasure as they had sex next door. Bitch. It was for my benefit and it felt like I was having my heart removed with a spoon. I think Ben had deliberately delayed her spending the night for that very reason. He didn’t want to rub it in my face that he was with someone else. I tossed and turned, but there was no chance of sleep. My phone buzzed; it was a text from Ian.
How was dinner?
I opened the app and saw him sat on the sofa in front of the television, drinking a bottle of beer. I wasn’t sure whether to respond, but watching him continuously check his phone made me cave in.
Painful!
Want me to come over?
I’m already in bed.
I’ll be right there