I make my leave and head out the door from which I entered. As I do, I see Eduardo with his arm wrapped around the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen. Even with grime covering her face, and her stomach swollen to a massive size . . . she’s a vision.
Flaming red hair mixed with bits of black. It makes me wonder how it’s natural. Eduardo has given her the shirt from his back and the way she looks at him is filled with hope. I’m merely a man standing on the sidelines and yet I can see how she still adores my cousin. Even after she’s been through the unimaginable, her hope lingers with him.
He’s not interested in her and I know it. I don’t know what pulls me to this stranger, but I’ll be sticking around for a while. She’s too beautiful of a conquest for me to simply cast aside.
I’ll give her all the time she needs to heal from this madness, and I’ll be here, just as I am now. Right on the sidelines, waiting for my golden opportunity.
Chapter Six
My dark days made me strong. Or maybe I was already strong, and they made me prove it
~ Emery Lord
Amara
In the beginning, I’d imagine this day would one day come. But with every passing day my hope diminished bit by bit. Now here I am. One year later, with Eduardo Diaz’s arm wrapped around my side, helping me take the first steps into freedom after being captive for so long.
“Are you sure you’re able to walk?” Eduardo asks.
It’s obvious he can see how much I’m leaning against him. Lucien fed me the bare minimum, often leaving me weak and dizzy. “If it means getting out of here, I’ll walk as far as I need to.” I declare, not caring if I pass out from exhaustion.
“Dante, come here and help me with Amara.” Eduardo calls out. There’s a man who just came out of the house. He’s about six-two, or six-three. His voluminous hair is a deep chocolate brown and as he approaches, I can make out his full-sleeved tattoos. On his left he has a male lion roaring, while on the right it’s a female lioness doing the same.
Dante comes to my alternate side and I put my right arm around his neck, like my left is doing with Eduardo. “Where is Lucien?” I ask, knowing very well I heard a gunshot. I can only hope and pray he’s slowly bleeding out in that god forsaken house, suffering.
Dante sighs, giving me the first indication something didn’t go as they planned.
“What happened in there, cousin?” Eduardo asks. Ah, so they’re cousins.
“He shot himself before I could get to him.” Dante grits out.
“What a fucking coward.” I hiss.
“Agreed. I’m not happy about it . . . but the important thing is that we got you back alive, Amara. I’m sure your brother will be pleased when we call him.”
My brother. For a moment I wonder which one Eduardo is speaking about, but it must be Damon. Lyon and Ashton . . . well, I just . . . I’m not as close with them as I was with Damon. If I can even call it that. We fought like cats and dogs for most of our lives.
“No. Please don’t call him.” I ask, causing Eduardo to stop right in his tracks.
“I’m sorry, I don’t follow.” Eduardo replies.
“I would appreciate it if you don’t call Damon. At least, not yet. I don’t want him to know about . . . everything that’s happened. Please. Don’t call him. I need to . . . process everything that’s happened to me. There’s no way I’ll be able to do that if he’s hovering over my shoulder.
Eduardo gives me a cautious look, like he’s trying to understand why I want this. “Don’t you want your family’s support right now?”
Of course, he wouldn’t understand. “No, not yet. Eduardo, I promise you I will call Damon myself when I’m ready . . . but please don’t inform him before I’m ready. Before I’ve had time to heal from this.”
“We’ll give you as much time as you need.” Dante states, ending the discussion.
I take note of the glare Eduardo shoots in his direction, but I appreciate the support from this stranger. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”
“No thanks are needed. It’s the least we can do, all things considered.”
Off in the distance I see an SUV approaching us. Eduardo raises his hand and waves it to come closer. The SUV is in front of us within a minute and Dante releases me to go open the passenger side door.
“We’ll take this car, and I’ll send for another to pick up the rest of my men.” Eduardo declares. Dante holds his hand out to me so I take it and step forward, but I start to go down. I suppose my body is even more exhausted than I realized. Dante catches me, holds me upward by hooking his arms underneath my armpits and then fenagles his way to slide one arm under my legs. He lifts me into the SUV and sets me down on the seat.
“Thank you,” I say, unable to come up with the words for how grateful I am to Eduardo and his family.
“It’s my pleasure, belleza.” I blink a couple times after Dante calls me a beauty. Nothing about me feels beautiful. Not with the grime across every limb and crevasse of my body, or with the way my hair is so greasy it’s stiff.
“What’s the plan, Eduardo?” Dante looks to Eduardo.
For the first time since knowing Eduardo, he seems baffled. “I’m not sure. We were supposed to fly to Mexico City, but in Amara’s condition I don’t know that it’s safe. Amara, is it safe for you to fly being so . . . pregnant?”
I raise my brow, loving how he thinks I know this shit. “Do I seem the motherly type to you, or like I have a record of whatever it is WebMD suggests pregnant women follow? Or the guidelines for flights?”
“Alrighty then. We’ll drive to Mexico City.”
“How far away is it?” I question.
“Over nine hours, but we can stop mid-way this evening and grab a hotel. It’ll allow you to get a proper night of sleep and to relax a little.” Eduardo says.
“Okay,” I nod my head, agreeing to this plan.
“When’s the last time you’ve eaten?” Dante asks, looking at me with concern.
I shrug, “Yesterday.”
“We’re going to grab you some food before we leave La Pesca, some water as well. I can only imagine how malnourished you are.”
“Thank you.”
“Belleza, there is no need for thanks here. We’re simply glad we got to you in enough time.” Dante calls me a beauty again. I’ve always known Latino men are much more passionate, but Eduardo never struck me as a man of passion. He was a man who enjoyed toying with my flirtatiousness at first . . . while his cousin is already buttering me up.
Maybe he’s one of those sickos who gets turned on by the baby bump. It doesn’t even matter in the first place. The only thing I plan on doing for a while is recuperating from surviving hell. Maybe after that I might pick at Eduardo for a bit. Dante isn’t my type. He reminds me too much of Widow. The type of man who knows they’re gorgeous enough to get whatever they want.
“Let’s get going,” Eduardo states, shutting my door for me. He walks around to the alternate side of the SUV and takes the seat beside me, while Dante takes the passenger side.
I don’t know why . . . but I feel like this could all be a dream. I just hope it isn’t.
Chapter Seven
The darkness in a woman is such that, stripped of our sight, we must feel our way through it— we crawl, we enter her circles of Hell until we sympathize with her sorrow, until we learn from her rage.
~ Segovia Amil
Amara
I naturally assumed Eduardo would grab a crappy hotel close to the interstate. Never did I think he’d rent out the best of the best, and yet he did. We’re in a suite located on the top floor. Eduardo told me he rented out the entire floor and told the staff we didn’t want to be disturbed. I imagine they must’ve assumed some sort of creepy orgy was going on, but I do appreciate how he respects the privacy I want.
Eduardo’s been surprising me at every turn. He left me alone for a while to rest, but he was in the living area while I was in the bedroom. It’s mid-morning now of the following da
y and he’s in no rush to make me leave. I felt okay enough to take a relaxing bubble bath this morning, so I did. I soaked in the warm water, allowing the suds to flow over my body. The mere feeling of cloth washing away the caked-on dirt was pure heaven. That and my clean hair.
Eduardo had sent out his driver to fetch me some clothes at some point last night, because when I came into the bedroom, they were sitting out on my bed for me. It’s a long, flowy beaming yellow dress. A pair of sandals was beside it. Simple, but I’d take it. Hell, I needed it.
Coming here . . . doing something as normal as being in the same car was a shock to my system. I might never say this to anyone else, but I thought I was going to die at Lucien’s hands. When I stepped foot in this hotel last night everything finally clicked. It was the moment I realized this wasn’t a dream and my nightmare was almost over.
“I’ve never known you to be a quiet one,” Eduardo says.
I turn my neck to the right and look at him, noticing how his eyes are pinned on me. It’s not in a sexual manner, but it never has been with him. Even amongst our first interactions . . . he seemed more calculating than anything. “A lot has happened since the last time we’ve seen each other.”
“You’re very right about that.” He smugly comments, staring at my stomach.
I’m sure he’s thinking so many different things right now. For a moment I think about keeping quiet and not saying a thing, but I’ve never been one who enjoys being hounded for answers. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, that’s why I don’t want you calling Damon.”
“I’m sorry?”
“About the baby. I don’t know if I want to keep it or not, and if I make the decision to find a loving mother for it . . . I don’t want judgment from my brothers, or my sister. She’d be the one to hold our mother’s family values over my head, say how it’s wrong to give this baby up. She’d say I’m being selfish.”
“It isn’t selfish to want to do what’s best for this child, Amara.”
“Yeah, well . . . my family wouldn’t think of it the way you and I do.” I mutter, feeling tears well behind my eyes. I go over to the window and look out onto the parking lot below us.
For minutes we stay silent. Eduardo probably has his eyes glued to me like he did a few minutes prior, while I look across the landscape at anything I can land my eyes on. From something as miniscule to the cyan blue painted beetle, to the amount of cars at the restaurant across the street.
“It doesn’t matter what your family thinks. You’re a smart woman. You know it doesn’t matter.” Eduardo says from out of the blue.
I turn back to him and instantly my thoughts are proven correct. He’s still looking in my direction. My back starts to ache a bit from this parasite inside me, so I head over to the couch where he’s sitting and take a seat on the other end of it.
“Families are complex, Eduardo. You know that. And I’ve . . . made certain choices in my past. Things I maybe wish I didn’t do now, or maybe I made the right choices. Even now I’m not sure. All I can say for certain is I’m filled with regret and a bit of guilt.”
“We all are. We can’t make our way through life without both.”
I chuckle lightly, “Yeah, well, let’s just say I made my fair share of shitty decisions when I was younger. Super shitty. But I know . . . we have to fuck up to grow in life. Unfortunately, my fuck up completely changed life as I knew it at the time.” Eduardo’s furrowing his brows at me, so I continue and take it as a sign he’s curious. “When I was barely eighteen, I got shit-faced after my father put his hands on me. It happens when he’s drunk. He blacks out and you try to take alcohol from him . . . then you aren’t a human. You’re a punching bag. I interfered when I shouldn’t have, got my ass beat and ran to my best friend’s apartment. Only, she wasn’t there.” It’s been years, and still nausea strikes through me. The amount of regret over that one act will haunt me for the rest of my life.
“I decided to get shitfaced with her boyfriend. He lived there with her. The plan was to wait until Melody came home . . .”
“But something happened?” He inquires.
I nod, “Yeah. The alcohol got to our heads and I fucked him. I shouldn’t have done it. It was wrong. It was so fucking wrong. There’s no excuse for what I did, the way I betrayed the both of them.”
“You were a young woman looking for compassion in a time when you’d been hurt. Everyone makes mistakes, Amara.”
I shut my eyes and the tears spill from the corners. “Certain mistakes shouldn’t happen, and that was one of them. She left. My number one supporter. The one person who never turned their back on me . . . who never betrayed me. Not that I could blame her for leaving. If it were me, I might’ve too. It’s just such a mess. Because of me, a little girl grew up without her father for years. Melody was pregnant at the time, and she left when she saw Widow and I—”
“Widow? From the Reapers?” Eduardo questions.
“Yes. We fell into this sort of relationship after everything went down. I don’t know if we were in love, but I did love him in a way. All of this seems surreal. This,” I open my eyes and point to my stomach. “I had an abortion a few years ago, Eduardo. I knew I wasn’t ready to be a mother, and I sure as hell wasn’t fit to be one. I’d . . . I’d been on the pill and it didn’t work. I never missed a dose, so please don’t think I was being irresponsible. I became part of the percentage who birth control fails on.”
“I wouldn’t judge you like that, Amara. First of all, it’s none of my business. Secondly, I’m your friend and I’m here to help support you, not tear you down.”
“This isn’t the first time he got me pregnant. I miscarried not long after he had me holed up in that shed.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Eduardo responds.
“I might sound cold, but I’m not. No child deserved a psychopath of a father like that, or a woman like me as a m—”
“That’ll be enough of that.” Eduardo growls, glaring at me. “You can be unsure of what you want to do in regard to keeping the child, but you don’t put yourself down like that. None of us are perfect, Amara. We’ve all made mistakes. We’ve all fucked up in some manner or another. The important thing is how we keep trying to do better. That’s what makes the difference.”
“The difference?” I question.
“Between being bad or good. As far as you’re concerned, I think you’ve been trying to make amends for the mistakes you’ve made in your past. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Now, we’re going to leave this afternoon for the last leg of our drive. However, I do have a doctor coming to check you out and make sure you and the child are okay. I’m taking it you’ve not gotten checked.”
I shake my head, “You’re the first person I’ve seen besides Lucien in over a year.”
“Alright. I’ll let the doctor know you haven’t been seen by one yet.” Eduardo rises from the couch and starts heading over to the door of the suite.
“Eduardo, thank you for doing this. I appreciate it more than you know.”
He turns back to look at me. “Amara, there’s no need to thank me. Even if I hated you I’d do this. I’m merely being decent. But, you and I have a bit of history . . . so maybe I’m giving you preferential treatment.”
“What kind of history would that be?” I ask, genuinely curious. It may give me some insight on how he feels about me. Not that I’m looking for love, but curiosity has never killed the cat.
He laughs, “You were a beautiful woman who made an old man feel young again. A great friend at a time you didn’t even know I needed it.”
“I didn’t know if you could tell, but back then I was totally trying to jump in your bed.”
“Oh, I could tell. You’re the type of woman who shoots her shot.”
“Yeah, I suppose I am.” I mutter, smiling lightly just as Eduardo makes his grand escape out of the suite.
Chapter Eight
Tough situations build strong people
~ The Villain Skill
A middle-aged woman has been in the bedroom with Amara for about the last five minutes. She’d brought in two sort of medical bags. I don’t know anything about what’s in them, but I hope nothing is wrong. Eduardo had conveyed to me how Amara wasn’t seen by a physician at all during her pregnancy. It was about the only thing he told me, even though I could see it all over his face how she confided much more to him.
“What’s the story between the two of you?” I ask Eduardo, who’s preparing a coffee in the kitchen. We’re leaving in a bit after her appointment is finished to head into Mexico City.
He draws his brows together and chuckles lightly. “I know what you’re insinuating. There isn’t any story, just some mild flirting back in the day. Didn’t I tell you that?”
He did, but that doesn’t mean I bought it. “There really wasn’t more between you?” I question, giving him his opportunity to tell me if there’s something else.
He shakes his head, “No, just a bit of flirting. She’d given me a bit of life when I needed it. You know?”
“Are you interested in her?” I ask, wanting to get to the point. I’ve never been the type of man who tip-toes around shit and I don’t think I ever will be.
“No, but you are. Dante, look . . . I won’t be the type of man who ever tells you what you should and shouldn’t do . . . but Amara has been through so much. She won’t be in her right mind for any sort of relationship for eons. She has many things to think about right now. Have you even thought about her? How she’ll have a baby?”
“Mothers are hot. What’s your point?”
Eduardo shakes his head. “God, you’ll never learn. All you younger men are the same. What if she doesn’t have the baby? Hmm, what then? What if she chooses to give it up for adoption?”
Amara (Reapers MC Book 12) Page 4