“That’s not going to cut it. I’m going to need you to speak up and enunciate.”
“Little girls who cuss get long hard spankings on their bare bottoms!” She ended in a shriek, and a few of the words were rushed, so that long hard spankings was all one word, but it was clear enough, this time, for us both to get the message.
I immediately stopped and began to rub her back softly, letting her cry as I comforted her. When the cries subsided into soft mews of pain and discomfort, I righted her panties and guided her into a sitting position on my lap, holding back a knowing chuckle when she winced the minute her chafed bare skin came into contact with the coarse denim of my Levis.
I wiped her face, where a few stray tears were still making their tracks down her puffy tear stained cheeks, and ran my fingers through her hair, noting that it was damp with sweat from her struggles.
She leaned her head into my chest, and I gathered my arms around her, pulling her close, relishing that she needed my comfort, even for a moment. She was a wild one, a bit unpredictable, and her emotions were clearly at war with her brain right now. I truly didn’t know if she would fully embrace this arrangement or if she would pull herself together, walk out the door, and decide the whole morning had been a fluke.
Chapter 7
April
I heard the front door open just as I finished setting lunch on the table. Grabbing a sandwich for myself, I tiptoed out the back door, thankful that the sun was shining enough to counteract the chill still lingering in the early March air.
I was avoiding Mitch and Brody and had been for days, ever since Mitch hauled me across his lap and spanked me for my naughty language.
I wasn’t mad. Just...embarrassed? Doubtful? That entire day was completely out of character. Like something from a dirty book—threesomes, spanking, and all this talk of Daddies. I had completely gone against Janine’s advice. Well, her good advice, anyway. The advice that made sense. About getting to know men and letting them get to know me. That went out the window the second Mitch tucked my hair behind my ear and offered to be my Daddy.
I had this man’s cock in my mouth, and I hadn’t even kissed him yet.
Disgusted with myself, I took a bite of my sandwich and sank down at a picnic table below a tree behind the house. It was where I ate most of my meals lately.
I couldn’t avoid them forever, though. People were starting to notice.
I took a big bite of my sandwich and nearly choked on it when I saw Merry walking towards me. I was avoiding her, too.
My eyes darted around the area for a place to hide, but there was nowhere to go. I set my sandwich down and waited.
Merry plopped down on the bench, splaying her hands on the table in front of me and locking her eyes on mine. “Girl, what is going on with you?”
I opened my mouth, ready to deny, deny, deny, but she was too quick.
Merry shook her head. “April, don’t you even try to say that nothing is up. I may not know you well, but I know you well enough to know when you are acting out of character. And you are not acting like anyone I recognize. Now spill.
To my absolute horror, my eyes welled with tears. I pressed balled up fists against my eyes and cursed under my breath. My ass clenched when I did so, thinking of the spanking Mitch had given me days earlier.
And then, the thoughts began anew. The ones that had been lingering for days. Thoughts of being naughty just so Mitch would take me over his knee again. So he would be my Daddy and call me his little girl. I also wondered what it would be like to have Brody spank me, and if he ever would. None of these were thoughts I could speak aloud, so all that came out was an anguished cry.
Merry quickly rose from her seat and was beside me in an instant, wrapping an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close.
“Hey, now, what’s this? Are you okay? Are you homesick?”
That made me laugh. I could never be homesick at the ranch, as it always felt like a second home to me. I shook my head vehemently back and forth, still unable to form coherent thoughts. At least, none I could speak out loud.
Merry was unfazed by my tears and my silence, determined to get to the bottom of the situation. “You know Mitch and Brody have been seeming a little mopey the last few days. I’m guessing they aren’t homesick, either.”
I finally met her gaze and shook my head, but it was all I could manage.
Merry sighed. “This having anything to do with those smacking sounds I heard coming from their room a few days ago? Did they hurt you? Because, I’ll kill them.” She paused and laughed. “Okay, so I would have Slade or Blake do it, but they would.”
I said nothing, and she frowned. “Should I ask them?”
“No!” I finally responded, half laughing, half yelling. “No, they didn’t hurt me. I’m not mad at them. I don’t need them to be beat up, although I appreciate the offer.”
“So, what then?”
“I just...I have this habit of jumping into bed with guys because they expect me to and figuring we will get to know each other later. And I thought, if I came here, I’d be away from temptation and able to focus on me, and I don’t know, maybe meet a quality guy somewhere down the line and like actually get to know him.”
Merry nodded, waiting for me to continue.
“And then I get here, and I’m surrounded by gorgeous cowboys. And I vowed that I would do things differently. But I didn’t! I didn’t even make it twenty-four hours!”
“And then what? What happened?”
I gaped at her. Was she really going to make me spell it out for her?
“I fell into bed with them!” I yelled before lowering my voice to a whisper. “I mean, I didn’t like fuck them; we didn’t have sex, but we were definitely intimate.”
Merry wore an odd look on her face as she listened to my whispered confession, and I realized she had the same first impression of the two men that I did.
“Wait…” she said slowly, drawing out the word. “Which one were you intimate with?”
I covered my face and reminded myself that this was Merry. She, of all people, would understand. I hoped. “Both of them!”
She peeled my hands away from my face, and I looked into her laughing eyes. “Your first ménage action, I take it?”
I nodded. “My first everything,” I muttered, then quickly corrected myself. I was no virgin.
“It wasn’t just the fact that there are two of them,” I admitted. “They are also Doms, and they want me to call them Daddy, and Mitch spanked me!” I wailed the last part, throwing my hands up to cover my face again.
“Oh, well, now we are getting somewhere.” Merry sighed. “It’s a good thing I came out here, because it really sounds like you’ve needed someone to talk to about all this, and not to toot my own horn or anything, but I happen to be a perfect person for this particular conversation.”
I peeked out at her from between my fingers.
“Slade is my Daddy. Blake is my Dom, and they both spank me. Sometimes at the same time.”
That was all it took for me to lower my hands. “Really?” I stopped and thought about everything I knew about the three of them and the little glimpses I had gotten into their relationship, thus far. It made sense and wasn’t the least bit surprising.
“Yes.” Merry nodded. “So whatever you want to say, whatever you need to ask, whatever you’re feeling, I’ve probably said it, lived it, or felt it.”
Steeling myself, I took a deep breath, opened my mouth, and stopped short. What did I want to say?
“It’s really overwhelming, the first time you are spanked,” Merry began, speaking for me. “I mean by a romantic interest rather than a parent or whatever. It’s completely different and there are all these conflicting emotions.”
“I’ve never been spanked before,” I admitted shyly, as if the fact were something to be ashamed of. “At all.”
Merry raised her eyebrows in surprise but took that tidbit of information in stride and nodded.
�
�And how did you feel? How do you feel?”
I swallowed thickly, still embarrassed to be talking about these things out loud and with such ease, as if we were discussing the weather or our favorite TV show. “Embarrassed. A little angry. Both at him. And at myself. Shocked at how much it hurt. And when it was over…” I trailed off.
“You kind of liked it, and worried that there was something wrong with you?” Merry guessed.
I nodded. “I felt really vulnerable, in a good way. Taken care of and protected, like someone cared about me and the choices I made in my life.”
Merry motioned for me to keep talking, and I did.
“When it was over, I kind of missed it. Even though I was so sore. The last thing I wanted to do was cuss again and risk his disappointment, but at the same time, I wanted to cuss more, just to have those feelings again. I felt so close to him.”
Merry chuckled. “All completely normal feelings, I assure you. But that doesn’t make it any less confusing now, does it?”
My chest sagged with relief, and I felt an invisible weight lift off my body. She really did understand.
“So, what next? What happened afterwards?”
Furrowing my brows, I tried to remember. “Nothing, really. I sat on his lap for a few minutes and then he went to find Brody, and I think I went and had tea with Nan or something.”
Merry’s eyes narrowed and darkened until they were just little slits in her face. “That’s it? No talking? No cuddles? No aftercare?”
I stared at her, baffled by her anger. Aftercare? What was that?
I voiced the question out loud, and she appeared to become even angrier.
“I’m gonna kill him,” she muttered, drumming her fingers angrily on the picnic table.
“Kill Mitch? What? Why?” I exclaimed, confused. “Please don’t kill him! I don’t know what this aftercare is, really, but I was the one who left first. I couldn’t deal with all my feelings. I still can’t.”
Merry eyed me skeptically, appeared to contemplate for a moment, and then nodded.
“Okay, well, I’m here if you have more questions or if you need to talk about anything at all, but I urge you to talk to Mitch and Brody. Especially Mitch. You can’t just keep avoiding them forever and eat all your meals outside. We’re a family here, and that’s not how we operate.”
Shame filled me at the part about family. I knew it was true, and it was part of what had always drawn me to the place. It didn’t matter who you were, once you stepped through Nan’s door, you were family, and you were treated as such. I had been moody and antisocial. I hadn’t been treating anybody like family. Tears welling up again. I nodded. Merry began to rise, and I grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Wait! How does this whole three person relationship work, really? I mean is it mostly just sexual with one of them and more romantic with the other one? Or…”
I stopped short, and Merry waited silently for me to finish.
“Like do they have a relationship with each other, too?”
Frowning, Merry stood and crossed her arms over her chest. “Besides being brothers and best friends, no, they don’t. But just because something works for someone else doesn’t mean that something different won’t work for you, ya know?”
Uneasy, I nodded, gauging my emotions. It was a lot to process, but talking to Merry had been more helpful than trying to process it on my own.
“Hey.” Merry’s voice was soft and full of concern. “I hope this helped and you feel a little bit better. And if you ever need to talk about this stuff again, oh, I don’t know, maybe you could seek me out, next time.”
“I could try to do that, and, yes, it did help somewhat. Thank you.”
Merry nodded, but her gaze was trained on a spot over my head, and she looked nervous. “My honest and best advice is to talk to them. Both of them. Together or separate.”
“I will, I promise.”
“Oh good, cause Brody is on his way over here!” she exclaimed. She gave a quick wink and then jetted off.
I sat there, wincing and waiting, half wishing I could disappear into the ground. I could hear his boots crushing against the dead grass as he neared.
“You’re avoiding us.” Brody’s authoritative voice cut through my contemplative silence.
Squinting against the sun, I glared up at him over my shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Mitch said I could take the afternoon off. I think he’s getting tired of having to show me how to do everything.” Brody eased himself onto the bench across from me. “Or maybe he knew I would find my way to where you were, and he’s tired of being avoided, too? I think he’s hoping I can talk some sense into you.”
“I’m fine.” I shrugged.
“Okay, great. So am I. And so is Mitch. We would still like to know why you are avoiding us, though.”
“I don’t owe you an explanation, Brody. I just met you. So, I fell into bed with you, and I let Mitch spank me. I was overtired, emotionally distraught, and vulnerable.
Brody said nothing, just raised an eyebrow and waited for me to say more.
I didn’t. I couldn’t.
So he did.
“Maybe we jumped the gun. Maybe we were a little over eager. Maybe we were just as overtired and out of sorts, and we acted on adrenaline. Can you blame us, though? Look at you!”
“Psh,” I scoffed. “I was here, you mean.”
“That, too.” Instead of getting offended, he amicably agreed with a wink.
I looked at him. Really looked this time. The pretty-boy-model-more-than-a-cowboy vibe from our encounter at the gas station was still there, and I now knew enough to know it was an accurate first impression.
His domineering attitude exuded from his expression and shone through in almost every word he spoke. But there was something else. A softness. An ease. He was equally intimidating and approachable.
I wanted to get to know him and learn what made him tick, but I was scared. Scared of falling back into old habits. Scared of falling for two men who obviously loved each other, even though they had yet to admit it. Scared of trying anything with either, or both, of them and having it not work out, for whatever reason. And then what? We all live happily at the ranch under one roof? Ugh.
“Talk to me,” Brody stated simply. “Anxiety is written all over your face.”
I shrugged.
“I have lived with Mitch for twenty years,” he continued. “I recognize anxiety when I see it, and I’ve learned to become a pretty good listener.”
“I didn’t mean to do that,” I said shyly, turning finally to meet his gaze.
“What? The threesome?” Brody’s eyebrow arched and his jaw twitched with amusement. “Of course, you didn’t. That was all me. I orchestrated it, without much of a thought for anyone else’s comfort or feelings. I do that, sometimes. I know what I want, and I just go after it. It’s a very good trait to have in business, and a messy one to have when it comes to personal relationships.”
“I’ve never done that before,” I admitted.
“A threesome? I didn’t expect that you had. But you took direction very well. I had a very good time. Did you not?”
“Oh! No, I did. I definitely did,” I assured him quickly. It was the truth. I had enjoyed myself thoroughly during. It was the after that was giving me problems. “It’s just...well, it’s sort of a bad habit of mine. I get to know a person just well enough to feel like I know them and then let them lure me into bed. Shortly after, I realize I don’t know them at all and end up getting my heart broken. Sometimes it takes weeks, sometimes months, sometimes only hours. But it always ends the same. When I came here, it was supposed to be a fresh start, away from temptation. A chance to really get to know someone. I had plans and good intentions. And then you two showed up.”
“Ah, I see.” Brody nodded thoughtfully. “And then I lured you upstairs, and all your good intentions went out the window.”
“At least for the day,” I confirmed. “And that�
�s how I need it to stay. Confined to just that day.”
“That’s too bad,” Brody mused. “ I have been looking forward to an encore.”
“So have I.” The admission escaped before I could stop it, and I clamped my hand over my mouth. Damn it.
Brody wore a look of smug satisfaction.
“Stop it!” I barked, wagging my finger in his face. “That doesn’t mean anything. It’s like you said, when it comes to personal relationships, going after what you want like that can be messy and have non-advantageous results.”
“Oh, I don’t know,” Brody whispered, leaning close until we were almost nose to nose. “I think, in this case, the results could be very advantageous. See, what you’re saying is no, but what I’m hearing, and what I think you mean is not right now. It sounds like you are saying that you want us to be willing to put in the work. Well, let me assure you, little one, I am no stranger to putting in the work. Especially when I know the results will be worth it.”
My breath hitched in my throat. I searched my brain for a response and came up short.
We sat in silence, with Brody looking like the proverbial cat who just swallowed a canary and was still picking feathers out of his teeth. Finally, he spoke.
“I have a bone to pick with you, little one.”
“You do? What?” I squealed in surprise, wondering what it could be while simultaneously forcing down the mental image of myself lying naked and face down across Brody’s lap.
“I never got my brownies.” He was laughing and smirking when he said it, and I couldn’t help but do the same.
Then I sighed deeply, remembering the intention behind the brownies and the very different outcome.
“Those damn brownies,” I muttered, looking at Brody. “That was supposed to be a catalyst to getting to know you. I’d bake the brownies and surprise you with them later, and we’d share a moment…” Rolling my eyes at myself, I shook my head. “Obviously, it didn’t work out, and it was stupid, anyway.
Brody scooched closer and took my hand in his, shifting until our fingers intertwined and we were holding hands. “It’s not stupid,” he reassured me before pausing. “Let me ask you something. Would it still count as sharing a moment, if we baked them together?”
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