“Amy?” She looks at me as she reaches the door.
“Don’t get too attached to her. She’s temporary. Men like me don’t do relationships. I have a whole houseful of men and women who have to come first.” I don’t know if I’m reminding Amy or myself.
She stiffens. “Keep lying to yourself, Jason. You’re crazy about her and she is your future.” She opens the door and walks out.
“Fuck.” I almost throw a beer bottle but instead pick up my fork to eat. The small buzzing of the beer signs and the beat of music coming from outside the door make me more tired. I finish my dinner and lean back and close my eyes for a second. Warm hands are massaging my neck and caressing my chest. For a split second, I think it’s Eve, but this woman’s smell is all wrong, so I grab the hand as it starts to trail to places it shouldn’t.
“Crystal, not tonight,” I grumble and sit up. She leans forward, shoving her breasts in my face.
“It’s been a long time. I miss you,” she coos. I look at the door and wonder how I didn’t hear her come in.
I stand up and reach for a bottle of Wild Turkey. Opening it, I take a long swig. The spicy whiskey burns all the way down to my stomach.
“Sit.” I motion with my head. She does and her black skirt rides up as she crosses her tan legs. I take a seat next to her.
“We go back a long time. You were Chuck’s girl and that’s probably how it should have stayed.” Her eyes tear up at the mention of my brother. She looks years past her age: sun, smoking, and too many men and alcohol have not been kind to her. Suddenly I’m comparing my Angel to her. Eve’s dewy fresh skin that glows while Crystal looks like she needs a shower and a hose to take her makeup off, revealing every large pore and wrinkle. She’s only thirty-two, but she already frequents the plastic surgeon’s office for Botox and fillers. Her hair is too red and damaged, her breasts too big, and her smell is all wrong. I wake up every morning to golden sun-kissed tresses that smell like coconut and feel like silk when I wrap them around my hands or neck.
“Blade, why do you always hurt me?” It’s an honest question, so I give her an honest answer.
“You were never mine. I was young and grieving. But come on, Crystal, I’ve never lied to you.”
She looks at me and at her legs. “So you’re that attached to this girl?” She sneers “girl” and my patience starts to fade.
“It’s not your business. Be smart, Crystal. Stay away from her.”
She stands and reaches for the bottle of Wild Turkey and takes a sip. Like the pro she is, she doesn’t even shudder. “You always come back. I’ve put too much time and energy into you, Blade. Yes, Chuck was my first, but you will be my last.”
I stare at her, then start to laugh. “Perfect.” Taking the bottle from her, I drink from it.
“But stay away from Eve. I’ll let you know if I require you.” Her eyes narrow and she reaches for me, but I’m done. Have been for a while. Crystal was easy and for the most part knew her place. I’m not programmed to be monogamous. It’s not my life or future to be with one woman. I can’t imagine anything more hypocritical being who I am. It’s why I don’t ever want kids. Axel is right—as soon as I was kinged, I gave up my personal life. I watched my dad trot whore after whore in front of my mother. Hell, when Chuck and I were little, we had to call some of them Auntie whoever. So, I should just unzip my jeans and let her suck me off. But instead, I take her hand and guide her out of my conference room and into the loud party.
The door to my room is locked. At first my drunk ass can’t figure out why I can’t get in. My whole body is pushing at the strong wooden door. Eve is inside—she’s my goal. At last, I take a step back and realize she has locked me out. I know I got after her about leaving the door unlocked, but now that I can’t get in, I wish I hadn’t.
“You okay, Prez?” Edge is behind me. He sways, not in any better shape than me but willing to help.
“I’m fine,” I say, wondering if she magically changed the locks because my key does not fit. I blink—how did I get this fucked up? The blond-haired blue-eyed siren sleeping in my bed is the reason. I needed to prove to myself that I was still me. That I could drink everyone under the table. That I could fuck two girls and not blink an eye. The only thing is that I couldn’t. I tried, but my dick wouldn’t cooperate. I saw her blue eyes everywhere, so in the end I growled at anyone who dared to get close to me.
“Fuck this.” I pound on the door and I can’t be sure, but I think I hear, “Go fuck yourself.”
I look at Edge who is smiling and swaying as he types on his phone. “Wildcat, that’s what you got, man. You’re smart, Blade.” He pats my back and I frown as I watch three of him walk down the hall.
I try the door again. Nothing. So I pound. Two prospects poke their heads out to see what’s going on.
“Go away,” I command and try my key again. This time I get it and I stumble into the darkness. I kick off my boots, pull off my shirt, and fall right into bed. She doesn’t move. In fact I don’t hear her breathe until I reach for her and pull her into my arms. Her sweet breath tickles my chest and I smile because nothing this whole day has felt this good. Then I pass out.
I roll over and all I feel is empty, nothing. Blinking, I sit up. The room is dark since the curtains are still closed, but sunlight spills from underneath them.
“Angel?” I look toward the bathroom and see the door is open and dark. Unease fills me, starting in my head and ending at the bottom of my stomach. I bolt up and open the curtains to look down at the pool. It’s empty. The clean turquoise water winks and glistens up at me. I look down at myself; I’m barefoot and shirtless and still wearing my jeans from yesterday. I reach into my back pocket for my phone and cigarettes and sit on the edge of the bed, light up, and turn on my stalker tracker to locate Eve. The red light blinks and says she’s here. I inhale my cig and look around. Flashes of last night’s bad decisions make me squint and look at the red dot again. Something’s wrong—I can feel it. I push on Eve’s name and instantly swing my head at the phone lying not three feet away from me, vibrating.
“God damn it.” I grab a black T-shirt before I explode out of my room.
“Ryder, Edge,” I bellow as I enter the kitchen where numerous Disciples sit respectfully drinking coffee. Amy looks up from her cooking and for a second, I see her lips twist up in a grin. Then it’s gone, making me question if I’m still drunk. I grab a mug.
“Where is she?” I’m not fucking around. The unease has turned into full-blown irrational behavior.
“I have no idea what you are referring to. Which slut are you talking about?” She wipes her hands on her apron and looks me straight in the eyes. I take a step back. Amy has always been in my corner, a confidante, but this morning she looks at me like I’m a disappointment and I throw the mug across the room. Coffee and ceramic smash into the cherry cabinets and a few guys jump up and look uncertain at my next move. Amy doesn’t flinch—she turns off the stove and walks out the door.
“Fuck,” I roar and this time the guys do leave as Ryder and Axel run in. Axel wears only his pants and Ryder has his Glock out.
“What?” he yells. I must look crazy because they both take in the empty room and broken cup. Ryder puts his gun in his pants. “Prez, what’s going on?” His hands are up like he’s trying to calm a wild animal.
“Where’s Eve?” I spit out the words. They both look confused.
“She’s gone.” I run my hands through my hair trying to stop the pounding in my head as I try to think.
“Get Edge.” Ryder nods, his face filled with concern, so I ignore him and turn to Axel.
“Get me the digital recordings of the whole compound, starting with last night.” I reach into the cabinet and grab another mug. “Tell Amy to come back,” I snarl as I pour myself some black coffee.
“Blade?” Axel looks around the room then at me. “What happened?”
I take a sip and swallow. The thick, dark, bitter taste does nothing to improve my m
ood so I take another. “I woke up and she’s gone. If anyone has touched her… hurt her…” I can’t finish the sentence because deep down I know if she’s gone it’s because of me and last night.
“I want her back. I don’t care how many men it takes, you get her back,” I yell in his face. He stares at me as if I need to be put away.
“I’ll find her,” he says.
Edge walks in, his hair clearly signaling he also just got up. “The Feds are here.”
I literally have to steady myself because are you kidding me? Today? They pick today when I probably need to be sedated? Instead I take a breath. “Tell them I’ll be right there and get Amy back. Tell her I’m sorry… and I’ll make it worth her while.” I’m going to have to eat shit. Doesn’t matter if I’m the president—you don’t fuck with Amy or her kitchen.
“Did you hear about Eve?” I hiss as I take the stairs two at a time.
“Yes.” He looks at me. “And I’m on it.”
I don’t have time for a shower, so I slather on some deodorant and brush my teeth, then at the last moment grab some Visine.
When I burst open the door to the conference room, two dark suits are talking to each other. One is a tall black guy and the other is a normal-sized Hispanic guy. I almost laugh because this is literally a joke. I can’t take them seriously. All my thoughts are consumed with Eve.
“Can I get you guys anything? I’m Jason McCormick.” I hold out my hand. They look at my outstretched hand, shake it, then smile and take a seat.
“Actually, if you have some coffee, I’d love it,” the Hispanic guy answers.
“I do. How do you take it?” I pull out my phone and text Amy, looking up to see his answer.
“Just black.”
“Perfect. I’m assuming that I don’t need my lawyer?” I sit on my throne and cross my hands in my lap.
“Jason, I’m Agent Raul Diaz and this is Agent Devon Deckard.”
I raise an eyebrow. Devon Deckard really? I stay quiet, biting my tongue so as not to make a Blade Runner reference.
“We’re only here to talk. I’m sure you heard that a house that you own in Hemet burned down?”
I stare at them—both are wearing cheap black suits. “Again, I have texted my lawyer who is on his way. But if we’re only having coffee…”
“We’re only having coffee, Jason.” Deckard smiles, hands outstretched.
Amy barges in carrying two cups of coffee and a glass of water.
“Thank you.” She rolls her eyes and leaves. The agents look around the conference room.
“Cool sign.” Raul points to the vintage Bud Light sign.
“So.” I lean forward and sip. “Why are we having coffee together? Usually I have coffee with Agent Stevens.”
Raul sips his coffee. “Well, Agent Stevens is taking some time off. Apparently he can afford it.”
I raise my eyebrow at him. “Nice. Good for him.”
Agent Deckard clears his voice and opens up a folder spreading out a bunch of eight-by-ten photos of the compound in Hemet: the burned-up lab and Doc and Sandy, along with numerous Disciples.
I look down at the pictures. “Now, see right away this looks like my lawyer should be present.” I look over at the door opening. Ryder and Axel enter, showered and appropriately dressed.
“Agents, these are my business partners, Axel and Ryder. This is Agent Deckard and Agent Diaz. We’re having coffee.”
“Nice.” Axel pulls out a chair and crosses his arms.
“Yeah, anyway if we wanted this to be official, you would already be in our office. But since we’re new, we wanted to see if what we have is correct.”
I lock eyes with Deckard. “O-kay.”
“So you grew up here?”
I snort and look at the Coca-Cola clock. “Yes.”
“And your father, brother Chuck, and a cousin David McCormick, his girlfriend, and his one-year-old daughter were all in another explosion—one that killed everyone but David?”
Silence. The clock ticking is all I hear.
“That was a sad time for my family. Is something going on with David?”
“We don’t know. Just wondering why things seem to blow up so much around you.”
I reach into my pants pocket and pull out my smokes. Lighting one up, I say, “Bad luck.”
“We see that you were in the military at that time. Navy SEAL?” I inhale deep and the nicotine burns all the way to my lungs. “Yes, we all were.” They look at Axel and Ryder.
“Why did you come back? How come you didn’t re-enlist?”
My eyes narrow, and I shrug. “My mother needed me. Again, I’m sorry, but this sounds like we’re getting away from coffee.”
“Okay, Jason, we’ll cut through the bullshit.” Deckard smiles. “We know who you are. We know how much money you have. How many men follow you. And we know that was your drug lab that burned to the ground.” He stops and looks at us.
“We’ve talked to Doc and Sandy and they’re both in rehab, so we thought we might give you some friendly advice.” He stands up and throws his card on the table. “We are not Agent Stevens—we can’t be bought. Sooner or later, we’re going to nail you. Kids are dying. That shit you guys have gotten rich off of goes through my community and quite frankly, I’m sick of it.” They both turn to leave and none of us stands. “You might have gotten away this time, but everyone eventually gets caught.”
My phone dings and I see it’s a text from Edge: I found her. She’s at Dolly’s. Do you want me to go get her?
I can’t help but breathe out some air I’ve been holding since I got up and discovered her gone. I look up at the agents; they’re at the door, staring at me.
“Sorry, I have to take this. Nice having coffee with you two.”
Deckard takes a step toward me as Raul grabs his arm. The door swings open and my lawyer, Rodney, barges in wearing a three-piece suit.
“What is going on? I want names. This is unbelievable,” he lectures as I text Edge.
Me: No, I’ll pick her up myself.
The door closes as I see my lawyer, who looks almost comical in that he is so perfectly put together, arguing with the agents. I look at Axel.
“Edge found her.”
He stares at me, looks down at his hands and back up. “Well, I guess that’s good news since we don’t have enough shit going on.”
“I’m going to shower and go get her. You’re in charge.”
“You realize you’re bordering on addiction with this girl, right?”
I simply look at him. He sighs and picks up his phone. “Jesus, Blade, go get her.”
EVE
I have made a huge mistake. I stare at Dolly who is pacing back and forth in her adorable high-heeled sandals. When the phone rang and she started telling Jason off, I felt validated, secure that what I was feeling was right and just. In seconds, I’ve been stripped of that. Her face has gone from angry red to pale and almost eerily quiet. It dawns on me right now that I may be doomed. My only hope is that I didn’t get her in trouble. I look down at my tan legs and my dark purple pedicure. Dolly and I came back from the salon a little while ago. I never went to sleep last night. Jason’s betrayal was too fresh, too soon. What was I thinking? Obviously I’m nothing to him, and all this playing boyfriend and girlfriend stuff was made up in my stupid head. I became so attached I was starting to forget my plan. I try to swallow as I look around Dolly’s domain. It’s well… Dolly. The walls are pink and yellow. She must not have much closet space or her love of style and shopping is her main pastime because in the corner, she has three rolling racks with clothes. Dozens of dresses in every color hang on them.
“Oh my God, what have I done?” When I called her at 5:00 a.m. this morning, whispering about what a disgusting pig Jason was and how I needed to get away, I never thought I might be signing not only my death warrant but hers also. I sink back into her white leather couch, lifting one leg up then the other, seeing as I’m stuck to it. The realization that I h
ave completely subjected myself to death makes me sweat. He wouldn’t seriously kill me. He wouldn’t, right? I keep telling myself he wouldn’t, but the way Dolly has gone mute on the phone and her pale, sallow face makes me want to throw up.
“Okay, Blade.” My eyes snap to hers as she throws her phone on the table.
“Dolly?” My voice sounds almost like a child’s: pretty pathetic. Screw this. If he’s going to kill me, I refuse to go out whining. She covers her face with her hands, almost as if that will protect her.
“Well, fuck,” she screams, and I cringe.
“What did he say?” I’m yelling because she’s screaming every curse word imaginable.
Suddenly the small apartment is quiet and we both stare at each other.
“Okay.” She looks to be trying to calm herself with her hands, almost like she’s strumming a guitar. “So… we’re fucked. But”—she stops me with her finger—“Jason is coming to pick you up, so I think that’s good.” She throws herself next to me on the couch.
“You don’t sound convinced.”
“He’s upset, like super upset. Like so mad I’ve never heard him like that.” She points to her phone and we both look at it like it’s a poisonous snake.
“I’m sorry. I should never have called you and made you come get me. He’s not mad at you, is he?” I’m trying to sound calm since she is anything but. Her crazy laughter is making me think I might have to shake her.
“The only thing you have going for you is that if he didn’t care, he wouldn’t be coming to get you. He would have sent one of his guys… so that’s good.” She’s stuttering and it dawns on me that she’s terrified.
I take her cold hands in my cold hand. “Don’t worry. I’ll tell him I made you, that I needed some air. You know, play it off like we we’re going shopping.” I smile.
She screams and starts pacing again. “Eve.” She takes a breath. “Do not lie! Please, for your sake. Tell him that you don’t appreciate him fucking around on you.” She turns and almost spits in my face. “Beg him not to be too hard on you. Remind him you’re only eighteen! Fuck… tell him you love him! But don’t lie.” She’s breathing heavily and before I can tell her that there is no way in hell I’m saying any of those things, the doorbell buzzes and we both scream.
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