She tosses her honey waves off her shoulder and reaches for her dad’s skinny, blue-veined hand and strokes it. “I guess I’ll be back tomorrow.” She stands up and kisses his forehead, and even drunk, I still look away. She’s gonna be a fucking mess when he kicks it and now she’s pregnant.
“Come on, Angel.” I reach a bloody-knuckled hand at her. She stiffens and James starts to hiss, but she obeys.
“I thought you were at the clubhouse sleeping with whores,” she whispers as I drag her out of the room.
Edge, who was waiting at the door, falls in behind as I literally pull her with me. The poor woman behind the reception desk stands up but sits when she sees me glare.
“I’m not in the mood for your mouth.” I open the truck’s door and Eve gives me a look. I’m drunk enough to laugh at how she’s trying to actually be fierce.
“Well, I’m not in the mood to be jerked around and unless you want me to puke on you, I’d stop any fast movements.”
Edge coughs as he grins. Looking away, he gets into the driver’s seat. I stop and take in this woman who has addicted my mind. She’s beautiful, but it’s more than that. For whatever reason, she’s what I crave.
I lock eyes with her and can’t help but smirk. “Come on, my little badass. In the truck… please.”
She huffs and frowns but does get in. Crossing her arms and legs, she turns her head away. I almost laugh at her nerve. If she was a man she’d probably be dead. Clearly, she’s delusional if she thinks I’ll tolerate her ignoring me. I reach for her arm. She glares, but I ignore it as I slide her warm body next to me. The tingle of touching her almost buzzes with energy. It’s uncanny; I need her, want her, she’s mine, and I’m sick of being in turmoil over her.
“I heard about our baby’s heartbeat,” I whisper against her forehead. That gets her attention.
She looks up at me. “What?”
“Dewey told me.” Her eyes travel my face, which probably looks a mess. I didn’t check if any blood remained on me from earlier. I haven’t tasted any, so hopefully I look better than I feel.
“Jason… you didn’t hurt him, did you?” Her blue eyes are so sincere and full of concern a wave of jealousy takes hold followed by anger that she would think I would hurt Dewey.
“If you think I’d ever hurt Dewey, you don’t know me at all.”
She looks down at her hands then back at me, her eyes shiny with tears. Sniffing, she looks out the window at nothing but darkness and street lights.
“I thought you were staying at the clubhouse.” Her voice catches at the end. I stretch my legs out sideways and pull her so that she has no choice but to rest on my chest.
“Shh, I’m tired.”
“Yeah, you look like you’ve been busy today.” I stay silent. How else am I going to defend myself. “Whatever,” she mumbles but stays quiet as I hold her.
Edge turns up my road and she feels so good in my arms I almost tell him to keep driving. Her even breathing makes me squeeze her. For whatever reason, everything about Eve does it for me. I want to take care of her. Christ, I want her so bad that I’m not even upset she’s pregnant. The Tahoe stops and Edge turns to face me.
“You want me to pick you up in the morning, Prez?” His eyes are filled with understanding, almost longing.
“Yeah, get me in the morning.” I open the door and lift her into my arms. How the hell has she become my life? Holding her tight, I walk to the front door and wait for Edge to unlock it and punch the alarm.
“I’m happy for you, man,” he says.
Before I can say anything, he’s shut the door. Eve stirs. Her dark, sooty eyelashes blink open as she looks confused for a moment.
“I got you, Angel. Go back to sleep,” I murmur as I walk us to our bedroom.
“I fell asleep?” She seems alarmed.
“You’re pregnant. It’s normal.” It sounds foreign to me. Pregnant. Eve and I are going to have a baby. Suddenly I want to hear everything from her. I need a shower—anything to erase what I did earlier.
As I start the shower, I watch her take off her clothes in the walk-in closet. I wash quickly, the need to be with her so strong it’s like I’m possessed or an alien has taken over my body. But instead of a little outer space man it’s a woman with long golden hair and eyes that are so blue I get lost in them. I finish and wrap a towel around my waist. Eve is already in bed with the covers up so high all I can see are her slender arms and hair spread out on the pillow. Turning off the light, I look out my window. The lights of the city twinkle and glow. Usually I close the blinds so that it’s pitch black, but tonight I want the moonlight along with the city below. Tossing my towel, I climb into bed and reach for my Angel. She goes willingly, and her coconut-scented hair wraps around me like smoke at a campfire. She sighs and says something about French fries. I grin as I kiss her forehead. Eve talks in her sleep. So far, it’s usually about food. Only once did she call out for her mother when having a nightmare. Christ, we’re both so scarred and fucked up, how is this even possible we’re having a kid?
“Eve, baby?” My anger has vanished. She’s all I need even if it’s only tonight. I want to be a real person. Not the president of the Disciples, not Blade.
I want to be Jason. Inhaling her, I let my mind drift. Maybe I didn’t have the best upbringing. My mother tried the best she could for my brother and me. But when your husband is the Prez, you’re fucked. My dad was taking us to the clubhouse when we were way too young. I remember the first time I actually held a gun. I was maybe six. One of my dad’s officers had passed out and I picked it up and it went off. Thankfully it didn’t kill anyone. Instead of scolding me, he gave me an atta boy. Had the officer whose gun I picked up circle it with red paint. It’s like a rare picture in the clubhouse. Then he took me outside and taught me how to properly shoot a gun.
Eve blinks and looks up at me. Our gazes lock and I lower my lips to her sweetness. It’s slow and almost painful when I lift my head.
“Tell me about our baby.”
She smiles, and I finally acknowledge it. I love her. Fuck! I don’t care if she did this to trap me. I don’t care if she did it for security. All I care is that she makes me feel alive. That if she ever left me, I might not survive. Jesus, I’m like a caveman with his mate. I want to drag her by her hair twenty-four seven.
“It was amazing, Jason.” Her voice cracks and her blue eyes are full of emotion.
“Yeah?” I reach up and my thumb rubs her rose-colored lips. “I’m sorry, Angel. I should have been there.”
She blinks as if she doesn’t understand. I love her like this. She’s always easier to read when she’s not quite awake—when her guard isn’t up and it’s only us. So I take advantage of it by rolling over and caging her in as I look at her beautiful face.
“I want you, and I want us.” Before she can speak, I take her lips and groan as they part for me. It’s like the glow of the moon has cast some spell on us as I pull my T-shirt off her. Her skin, so soft and flawless, calls to me and I lick her, lips moving down to her neck and finally to her fucking tits. She moans as I latch onto one hard nipple and arches up so I can suck harder.
“Jason,” she whispers, turning her head into the pillow.
“Open your eyes, Angel.” My cock is leaking with need to get into her silken walls. My mind swims as my body takes over and both of us growl and pant our pleasure as I enter her.
She’s whimpering as I brace myself on my elbows. I need to see everything she feels.
“Fuck… It’s so good with us.” I thrust into her.
She reaches for my face. Her hands are warm and I inhale her scent. I’m inside her. She’s wrapped her soul around mine and I never want this feeling to end.
“Angel.” I lean into her beautiful lips. Her breath is sweet and I take it from her and breathe mine back into her mouth. Our eyes lock, the moonlight casting the right amount of light to make this whole night almost unreal. Then she tells me with words what my heart already knows.
�
��I love you.” Strong and confident, her words caress us. And for one moment, it almost spills out of my own mouth that I love her too. Instead I hold her gaze as I move deeper inside her. I watch her and hear her breath become labored. She’s close.
“Angel, my Angel.” Her eyes narrow and her nails latch onto my back and scratch down as her core pulses and contracts, milking my cock in ecstasy. My balls tighten, my stomach muscles jerk, and the pleasure seeps out of me snaking down to my toes as I shoot my seed deep inside her.
“Jesus Christ,” I grunt as the world and room spin. I’ve never experienced anything like that. Rolling over, I bring her with me. The intensity that I share with this woman is consuming me. She’s becoming my need, salvation, life.
“Jason?”
I’m caressing her back as we catch our breaths.
“What, baby?”
“I really do love you.” She leans up on her elbow, her cheek resting on her arm.
“Yeah?” I move her hair off her shoulder.
“Yeah,” she purrs as she brushes my lips. “And I know how you feel about me.” Her voice is raspy and dipped with honey and my dick twitches.
“How do I feel about you?” I can’t help but grin at her. She’s a mixture of goddess and fallen angel.
“You love me too.” She flops back onto the pillow and my heart squeezes. I say nothing but turn toward her on my side and grab her, pulling her snugly into my arms.
“Go to sleep, baby.”
EVE
There’s a buzzing, a sort of annoying bee around my head. I’m warm and safe. Why won’t that buzzing go away? I blink my eyes open and I’m being held tightly by a muscular, tattooed arm. His phone is buzzing and vibrating on the floor.
“Jason.” I wiggle around so that we’re nose to nose and last night comes happily back to me. We made love, and it was amazing. I told him I love him and I know he’ll tell me the same soon. No one can feel the way we do and not love each other. “Jason, your phone.”
He grunts and rolls to his back, bringing me with him. “I hear it—I want a few more minutes with you.”
His gravelly morning voice is my favorite, but did he insinuate that he’s leaving again? No, he wouldn’t. We made love last night. This is a beginning for us.
“Umm, I need to pee.” My voice sounds unsure.
He opens his pretty green eyes and I can’t help but smile at him. We stare at each other and I watch the wall come down over his eyes. In seconds, he goes from Jason to Blade. I turn and get out of bed, reaching down to get his phone and tossing it to him. After I bolt into the bathroom, I lock the door.
“Shit.” I drop to my knees as I try to silently puke. My mind races at the fact that I laid myself out like an open book. Standing, I groan and reach for my toothbrush. He didn’t say shit. I said everything.
“Eve.” Jason bangs on the door causing me to almost drop my toothbrush.
“I have shit that’s going down,” he yells as the door handle jiggles. “Unlock the door.”
I glance at myself and sigh. I’ve definitely looked better, but at least I’m naked and my tits look spectacular. Unlocking the door, I’m greeted with Jason staring at his phone, his tatted arm leaning on the side of the bathroom doorway. “I have to go.”
“Okay.” My voice cracks and I clear it because there is no way I’m going to start crying. No fucking way!
He finally looks up from his phone and for a split second his eyes soften and almost caress my face, moving down my body. Then he pushes off the wall and reaches for my chin. His warm hands smell like smoke. He must have had a quick cigarette.
“You need anything, you call me. You want to go anywhere, you call me.” His eyes are so indifferent I almost take a step back in confusion.
“I want to see my dad.” Then I want to take my nails and claw his chest or better yet his bruised lip. If only I could lean over and—
“I’ll have Dewey take you.” His warm hands leave my face as he turns and grabs his gun out of the nightstand.
“No doctor appointments without me.”
Like I’m a pet, an object. What the fuck was I thinking telling him I loved him? I stare, almost frozen, as my stomach flips and his tall form moves away, the slamming of the door a loud reminder that I’m an idiot. He doesn’t love me. I’m some stupid girl who is going to be his baby momma. Sinking to the bed, I look around. His room is so white it almost makes me nervous. Like the shows on TV where the lead character gets locked in the psych ward and goes crazy.
“God.” I cover my face with my hands, groaning as I remember every single thing I said to him last night. “Why, Eve?” I drop my hands with a loud dramatic thud. I should go back to bed. I look down at his clean black sheets, his spicy scent wrapping around me like the smoke that he exhales from one of his cigarettes. Maybe I’ll wake up and everything I said to him will be a bad dream. Snorting at my delusional and pathetic thoughts, I force myself to stand and make my way into the bathroom. Swallowing back my gag, I almost retch again at the lingering smell of my vomit.
Quickly, I start the shower. The hot water is so fast, I never seem to get used to it.
I close my eyes and let the soothing hot water caress my skin. My mind clears as I formulate a plan. One, never tell Jason I love him again. He doesn’t deserve it and it’s mine to cherish. Two, I need to go steal something. Actually, it’s not even a need; it’s a must, a sense of myself that I have to bring back to life. I need the high. Control. I need control of my life. I turn off the shower with a new strength I haven’t felt in weeks and step out. Wrapping a towel around me, I look at the fogged-up mirror. I don’t need to see myself to know I’m back. I straighten my shoulders and dry off. The clean sink counter is white and empty.
“Damn it.” This is why I always, always made sure I had all my stuff in my bag. Hand lotion, makeup I always had everything. But lately I’ve been slipping. I mean why carry around all that shit when I have plenty at home? Home. I snort in disgust. Am I actually thinking of the club house as home? Rolling my eyes, I turn to take in the whole bathroom. It’s all white and clean—I swear you could eat off this white-tiled floor. What the hell? In the corner is an attractive French country white cabinet.
“Perfect.” My eyes take in the objects. “What the fuck?” I pick up a bar of some fancy rose-smelling soap. “That dick.” I start to grab all kinds of women’s shit. Olay face cream, Bath & Body Works coconut hand cream, and gold and pink bubble bath beads.
He lied.
Of course, he lied. Why would he tell me the truth? I’m nothing to him. Slamming the cabinet, I toss my towel on the floor and go to get dressed. “Never brought a woman to this house, huh?” Everything he says I believe. I almost want to take all that shit from the cabinet and dump it on his side of the bed. But that would make it obvious that I care and I’ve already humiliated myself enough by telling him I love him.
Groaning at the thought, I pull on a pair of tight white jeans and a pink T-shirt along with some white Converse sneakers. Absently I shake my head. I’m getting spoiled… soft even. First no hand lotion in my bag and now clean sneakers. I’m a shell of my former self. That stops today. I have a baby to think about and my dad. I reach behind me as a wave of dizziness—maybe a serious dose of reality—hits me and almost brings me to my knees. I’m pregnant. I’m actually pregnant. I never thought I would have this, and even though Blade doesn’t want it, I do. In fact, I’m thrilled. He or she will rule the world. With my brains and its father’s guts, nothing will be able to stop it.
Twirling around, I reach for my bag, making sure my knife is still there. I do this every day. Even though I’ve grown soft, I’m not stupid. For a split second I worried Jason might take it from me, but it’s still here. I grab my phone and text Dewey that I’m ready to get out of here. I should probably get something to eat. Not that I’m hungry, but I’m sure my baby is. Smiling at that thought, I make my way to the kitchen. I need to go shopping if I’m staying here. This is crazy. Ev
erything in this house is perfect. It’s clean and white and smells like bleach. Wrinkling my nose I wonder, is it Pine-Sol? A large glass fruit bowl is in the middle of the wooden butcher block island and I take a banana. A couple of French doors overlook the deck and the view of the Valley below. Opening them, I step out and close my eyes. Only for a moment, I let the heat from the morning sun warm my face. For a moment, I actually allow myself the luxury of listening to the birds chirping. I can smell cut grass, and a lawn mower roars across the street. For the first time in my life, I like where I am. Jason’s house is amazing even with its white walls. I sigh and open my eyes to peel the banana and take a bite.
“Wow, even his bananas are perfect.” I can’t help but snicker. Seriously, it’s ripe and not mushy, firm and delicious. Kind of like his thick hard cock. My cheeks burn as I visualize his dick, fingers, lips, and I rub my legs together. Great, now my panties feel wet and gooey.
A buzz in my bag makes me come out of my dream land. Digging into it, I pop the last of the banana into my mouth. Absently I wonder if I should put on a clean pair of panties. I look at my phone: it’s a text from Dewey. Of course all it says is Outside and a smiley emoji.
“God, Dewey.” I roll my eyes and dump my phone back into my bag. Sometimes I wish I was Dewey. He’s always so… happy, never letting things get to him. Actually, the only time I’ve ever seen him upset is when I stabbed him. That nagging guilt starts to make me second-guess myself. Pushing my hair back I reason with myself. Dewey is fine. He’s not going to get hurt because Jason is not going to find out. I need to be smart, on my toes, and no one will be the wiser. And I will have a nice little nest egg just in case. Just in case… what? Just in case Blade really does only show up for birthdays and holidays? I almost laugh at how silly I was to even let that bother me. I’m gambling on the hope that he can’t stay away. He wants me. He may not love me, but he wants me.
Putting my sunglasses on, I’m almost ready. Thank God I didn’t act like a child throwing all that girl shit on the bed. “I need to be calculating if I want him.” And I do want him.
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