by Andi James
No, he really hadn’t. Ever since he’d returned, leaving was always in the back of his mind. He hadn’t let himself think about how nice it was to spend so much time with his mom in person instead of on video calls, or how comfortable he was getting at the bakery.
Or the fact that Daniel lived here, and he didn’t.
Oliver ran his hand through his hair and exhaled. He was tired, and not just from tossing and turning the night before.
“I don’t know, Mom. It’s a lot to consider. You know how I feel about this place. Besides, what about my job? I’m lucky they’re holding my spot for me. For now, at least.”
“Oliver, I’m only going to say this once, then I won’t bring it up again. You have to let it go. You’ve carried a grudge against your hometown for years, let it build up inside you until you were consumed by it. It’s not healthy. What happened ten years ago with your dad? That has nothing to do with this town and everything to do with his dedication to his job. You can’t let it affect you like this now. Easton might not be as big as New York, but it’s not exactly small. And like most things, it’s changed over time.”
What she said registered with him in his gut, but he still had to fight his automatic instinct to defend his feelings about this place.
“Even if you decide to leave as soon as you possibly can,” his mom continued, “you should at least apologize to Daniel. He didn’t deserve that from you.”
Didn’t he? Oliver rubbed his eyes, trying to think. Yeah, he’d left abruptly and in a huff, but after what Daniel had said, what else was he supposed to do?
“It wasn’t the place to talk about it, Mom.”
“I’m sure that’s true, but that doesn’t mean you had to behave like you did.”
He didn’t have the energy to argue, though he wasn’t ready to admit she was right either. “I’ll think about it.”
She nodded, probably realizing that was the best she was going to get from him.
“You know, he’s a really special person. And he’s so handsome.”
“Mom.”
“What? He is!”
He waved her off. Even if he agreed, he wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of knowing that.
Their conversation had Oliver feeling restless, and while earlier he’d thought he’d hang out for most of the day, now he wanted to get moving and do something.
“Will you be okay if I take off?”
“Of course, hon. You have plans?”
“No, just thinking I’d go for a walk or something.”
His mom smiled at him. “Trying to make me jealous, showing off your working legs?”
He cracked a smile. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”
“Go, do your thing. I want to get back to my book anyway.”
Oliver got up and kissed his mom on the cheek. “Love you.”
“Love you too, sweetie.” She stared at him for a moment, and he knew what she wanted to say but wasn’t.
“Yes, I will think about what you said.” He rolled his eyes, and she chuckled.
“That’s all I can ask.”
One of the few places Oliver had always liked in Easton was the River Walk. Calling the body of water a river was something of a stretch, but it was bigger than a creek and ran through a large portion of the town. A six-mile paved path ran alongside part of it, and he’d spent many days as a teen biking or hanging out there with friends.
Right now, it felt like the only place he could go where he could relax, and maybe let his mom’s words roll around in his head.
He’d parked in a lot at one end of the path, which was technically part of a nature reserve. Fewer people used this part of the walkway, most preferring about three miles south where it could be accessed from downtown.
As Oliver started walking, kicking a small rock along the path, his mind started wandering. He tried not to let himself think too often about his dad’s death, but maybe it was time to move on. He’d been young, and he’d long suspected he’d blown things out of proportion when it came to how he felt about the town. It was a hard thing to admit, but he made himself at least consider his life might be a little easier if he didn’t flinch every time he thought about the place where he grew up.
Could he ever live here again? He wasn’t sure. He knew his mom would be thrilled if he did, and he had to admit he’d missed her more than he’d realized. It was just the two of them, and that was another thing he’d carried around for a long time — the guilt of not being there for her. Of not being a good son. Hell, part of him thought Daniel and his mom were closer than he and his mom were.
Daniel. Oliver had no idea what to do about him. He couldn’t understand how the man had jumped over his carefully constructed prickly exterior like it wasn’t even there and dove straight under his skin, in ways both good and bad. Good, because Oliver found himself attracted to the guy and liked him as a person. Bad, for the same reasons.
However he’d done it, it had worked. Even after the first time Daniel had come into Cakes, Oliver had often caught himself thinking about the man. And after seeing him a few more times, he found Daniel on his mind far more often than he wanted him to be. The guy had shown he clearly wasn’t deterred by Oliver’s rudeness or grumpiness. No, he acted like those traits were nothing… or, even worse, cute.
What really confounded him was how he responded to it. In the past, if someone he didn’t want to interact with insisted on talking to him, over and over and over, Oliver’s response was to crank up the mean until the person finally got the hint and left him alone. Not only did that not seem to work with Daniel, he found himself reluctant to keep trying that approach. There was just something about the guy — his openness or his stupidly gorgeous, friendly smile, maybe — that made Oliver want to be civil. Sometimes, even more than that.
He hadn’t really been civil last night, though. All morning, he’d been trying to pinpoint exactly what had set him off. And yeah, a lot of it had to do with his dad. Maybe more than that, though, he’d realized it was because he’d felt betrayed. The idea of Daniel talking to someone about him, about what happened, made his gut feel like it was full of stones tumbling around. He might not know much about relationships, but he did know if Daniel’s words hurt him, it meant he cared about the guy. If he didn’t, he’d be able to shrug this off and forget about it.
If he was heading back to New York in a month or two, though, none of this really mattered. He had no interest in a long-distance thing. Hell, he didn’t even know if Daniel was interested in anything with him. But the idea of not having Daniel around wasn’t one Oliver was fond of, if he was being totally honest. Which he was trying for a change.
Lost in thought as he casually strolled, lulled by the slow-moving water, he nearly jumped a foot in the air when someone stepped in front of him.
“Oliver? Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. What are you doing here?”
He stared in complete shock at the man who’d been at the center of his thoughts not even five seconds ago.
“Daniel? What ...”
Oliver immediately noticed Daniel was not his usual, unflappable self. His eyes were a little bloodshot, and his perfect mouth that so often was turned up in a smile was now a thin line. Even his hair looked like it hadn’t been touched since he woke up that morning, and Oliver had never seen him look so… unhappy.
Guilt punched him in the stomach, and before he could even think twice, he found himself apologizing.
“Daniel, I am so sorry.”
The man seemed to study him for a minute, and his heart skipped a beat, wondering if he would be forgiven. He hadn’t realized until he saw Daniel’s face exactly how horrible he felt, and how much it mattered to him that Daniel knew that.
He mentally willed himself to continue, to put himself out there. It felt like the least he could do.
“I acted like an ass. You touched a nerve, and I took things out on you that had nothing to do with you. I really am sorry. If you let me, I can explain
.”
Oliver almost sagged with relief when Daniel stepped up to him and wrapped his arms around his waist in a hug. He quickly returned the gesture, and wanted to draw him even closer, but had no idea if that was appropriate. Daniel still hadn’t said anything, and Oliver didn’t know if he should keep talking or stop before he somehow said something wrong.
Daniel pulled back enough to look at him, but kept his arms around him. It was like he was searching for something in Oliver’s eyes, and after a few seconds, a small smile broke out on his face.
“I’ve spent most of the morning thinking about how I was going to apologize to you,” Daniel said.
Oliver had to run those words through his mind a couple times. “For what?”
Daniel gave a little shrug and stepped back, and Oliver reluctantly let him go.
“Oliver, I feel awful. You have to know that what I said just came out, and I didn’t mean it like it probably sounded. I didn’t think, didn’t realize —”
“Hey.” He had to interrupt and stop that line of thinking. “This is all on me. Yeah, obviously it’s something I’m sensitive about, but that doesn’t mean I get to yell and storm off. That was wrong, and I’m sorry.”
“Apology accepted. We all react badly to something or other. I just wish I hadn’t hit upon that last night. I was having a really good time up until then.”
Oliver’s mind instantly pulled up a replay of the two of them laughing at the bar, the silly dance moves Daniel somehow made look good… The amazing kiss that had made him want so much more.
He reached for Daniel’s hand. “I was too. A great time.”
Oliver nodded toward a nearby bench. “Want to sit and talk? Or do you need to get going?”
“Sure, I’ve got time. I wasn't really feeling up to a study session today.”
This was not a conversation Oliver was looking forward to, but he knew it had to happen. He thought back to what his mom had said this morning, about how he let everything build up inside him and how it wasn’t healthy. Begrudgingly, he admitted to himself she was probably right, because one of the results was how he acted last night. If he was ever going to attempt anything with Daniel, even if it was just for the time he was here, he knew the man deserved better than that.
They sat facing the water, still holding hands, and Oliver slapped away the thought of how this could be romantic under other circumstances.
“I was close to my dad,” he said, forcing himself to talk. “He was a great guy, fun and selfless, and so good to my mom. But part of me always resented his job, how much time it took up in his life, how he was always so willing to drop whatever he was doing if he was needed.”
Oliver took a deep breath, and felt Daniel squeeze his hand.
“When he started getting sick, we didn’t know what was wrong, of course. But he kept putting off going to the doctor, because they needed him at work, or at least that’s what he said. By the time he finally did go, it was too late.”
Memories of that time washed over Oliver, and he swallowed hard over the lump trying to appear in his throat.
“I got angry. Angry he waited too long, angry he put his job before his own family and his own health… and then, when he died, angry he’d left us for good. At the time, I was one hundred percent convinced this town basically killed my dad. He was so dedicated to it, he let it kill him.”
Daniel leaned into him. “You wanted something to blame.”
Oliver nodded his head. He’d long known that was what he was doing, but letting go of it, of all of it — his feelings about this town, and the anger that had taken root and become an actual part of him — wasn’t easy. Neither was letting his guard down like this. It didn’t matter how irrational it was to think the second he let someone close, he would get hurt again. It wasn’t something he’d seriously tried in the last ten years, and a huge part of his consciousness was rebelling against it now.
“Then, after the funeral, everyone just moved on. The city filled his job a week later, and it was like everything he’d done and all the sacrifices he’d made didn’t matter at all. Like he’d died for nothing. I kept waiting for some kind of ceremony, something put on by the town he’d worked so hard for, but… it never happened.”
He wasn’t sure what else to say, how to explain that at the time, it had seemed easier and safer to close himself off and stay that way. It almost sounded childish in his head, but the pain he’d felt at the time was so all-consuming he hadn’t known what else to do.
“I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you, and for your mom. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. But I’m sure your father loved you a lot.”
Oliver shrugged. He didn’t doubt his father loved him, but for a long time he’d questioned how much.
Daniel continued. “Sometimes people show their love differently. Maybe his way was by working hard, being the best he could be at his job so he could keep it and provide income for your family. And if he really did love his job, that’s kind of a blessing, you know? Not a lot of people get that lucky.”
Was that what his dad had been doing? It was possible, he supposed. And just look at his own life. He spent hours and hours at his restaurant, far beyond forty hours a week. Not always because he had to either. He enjoyed it, working with the fresh ingredients and coming up with new dishes to pitch to the head chef. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
Daniel turned to face Oliver. “I’m truly sorry I brought it up last night. Thank you for talking to me about it.”
“I’m sorry I reacted the way I did. I don’t know if you know this, but I’m not always the easiest person to deal with.”
Daniel laughed, and the sound brought a smile to Oliver’s face. “Ollie, I’ve never not known that about you.”
Oliver put his arm around Daniel and pulled him as close has he could, thrilled when he let him.
“I’d like to make it up to you. Let me cook you dinner? Tonight?”
“Oh, dinner from a fancy chef. How could I say no to that? Free food is always good, but free fancy food? Yes, please.”
He smiled at the way Daniel’s eyes sparkled. “I don’t know how fancy it will be, but I’d love to cook for you. If you want. I understand if you don’t.”
Daniel wrapped his arms around Oliver’s neck and pressed up tight against him. He gave Oliver a soft kiss on the lips, then looked him in the eyes. “Oh, I want.”
Oliver stirred the sauce for the curry he was making and smiled when Daniel walked up behind him and leaned against him, peering over his shoulder.
“That smells incredible,” Daniel said. “Though I’m not sure which smells better, you or the food.” He ran his nose along Oliver’s neck, making him shiver. “I kinda wonder which will taste better too.”
Any semblance of concentration Oliver had on the task at hand vanished. He’d been anticipating this night for hours, since they’d parted ways on the River Walk after agreeing to meet later at Daniel’s. Oliver had spent an embarrassingly long time getting ready, and even longer picking out ingredients at two different stores before stopping for wine at a third.
Oliver turned down the heat on the burner and set the spatula aside. He turned around to face Daniel, who looked like a different man than he had this morning. His brown eyes were bright and clear, and those soft, pink lips were sporting the cutest smirk.
“C’mere, you.” He tugged Daniel to him, and slowly moved in for a kiss. Their lips met tentatively at first, until Oliver couldn’t hold back any more. He nipped Daniel’s bottom lip and followed it up with a light lick, then pressed his tongue into Daniel’s willing mouth.
God, this man could kiss. Their tongues slid slowly and passionately around one another’s, sending sparks straight to Oliver’s cock. The taste of the wine they’d both been sipping only made him want more of the guy. He’d been fighting his attraction to Daniel for what felt like months, and it felt so good to finally give in.
Oliver slid his hands down Daniel’s back until
they rested on his perky ass and pulled him closer, grinding against him. Daniel responded immediately, and Oliver let himself fall under the spell this man cast on him every time they were together.
He pulled back after a minute, completely breathless. “Fuck, Daniel,” he said in a hushed tone, unable to come up with anything more elegant than that.
Daniel gave him a quick peck on the lips, then moved his lips along Oliver’s jaw. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, a soft moan escaping as Daniel sucked his earlobe into his mouth.
“I’m hungry,” Daniel whispered in his ear, reminding him he was supposed to be using the small kitchen for cooking, not making out.
“Okay, it shouldn’t be too much longer before dinner is done, maybe ten minutes,” he said. Or would it be more like twenty? It was hard to remember anything when Daniel was suckling on his neck like that.
Daniel continued his assault, his hand running over Oliver’s pec before he used his fingers to play with his nipple through the fabric of his button-down shirt. Oliver knew he needed to put on the brakes if they had any hope of finishing dinner, but for once, food was the furthest thing from his mind.
“Daniel, I should get back to the curry,” he said while putting a hand on the back of Daniel’s head to keep it in place.
“What if that’s not what I’m hungry for right now?”
Oliver gripped Daniel’s hair and pulled his head back enough so he could look him in the eyes. “You have something else in mind? Care to share?”
Daniel slowly trailed his hand down Oliver’s chest and abs until it came to rest on his obvious erection. Oliver gasped as Daniel started stroking him over his jeans.
“How would you feel about having dinner later? Like, in an hour or two? Or maybe tomorrow morning, even?”
Oliver found himself nodding before Daniel finished speaking. They could eat anytime. Or never. Both options were fine with him as long as they got to continue what they’d started.