by Grant Price
6
The trees cowered and groaned under the weight of the water falling from the sky. Ghazi sat cross-legged on the ground, using his whittling knife to chip shavings from a bundle of wet wood. When he was done, he took the shavings, placed them inside a modest stone pit and scraped the spine of the knife along his fire steel to generate sparks and ignite the tinder. He added kindling until a compact fire burned in front of him. He held his palms out and appreciated the warmth of the fizzing flames so close to his skin. All they needed now was some wild meat to roast on sticks.
The storm had slowed their progress to a crawl. The rendezvous had been under water and the trail had become near impassable, so they had struck camp in a clearing at the side of the road. Now they waited for Brandt and Wyler to appear. A shortage of power in the batteries played on their minds. The conditions were too hazardous to break out either the turbines or their few precious PV panels. The enforced inertia affected Cassady most of all. He paced underneath the sloping, lightweight plastic sheet that he and Katarina had slung between Warspite and Orion when they’d stopped. A few metres away under another canopy, Tagawa and Victor made repairs to the front of their truck and talked to each other in low voices. Victor had brushed Ghazi off when the mechanic had offered to take a look at the Silkworm.
‘Maybe you should sit down, dostem.’ Ghazi kept his voice quiet.
Cassady made no indication that he’d heard him.
‘The rain will stop when it stops.’ He pulled his hands away from the fire and stretched. ‘You know that. We have no control over it. So why wear out your boots?’
‘Can’t I walk around a little without you making a comment?’
‘Something is pulling at your thoughts. You’ve barely slept in two days and I haven’t seen you eat since morning.’
‘That isn’t your concern.’
‘It is if you close your eyes behind the wheel.’
‘When was the last time that happened?’
He swept his hand over the flames. ‘Sit by the fire. Switch it off for a while.’
‘I don’t need your spiritual crap right now.’
Despite his vitriol, Cassady dropped down next to a pile of unused firewood and swept his cap from his head. He reached over to a leather pouch by Ghazi’s foot, took out a few of Lupo’s pellets and gulped them down with a swig of pulque. His mismatched eyes focused on the leaf-shaped flames that writhed on top of the wood.
‘You want to know what’s on my mind?’ he asked in a monotone. ‘Why do we do this? That’s what I’m thinking about. Why do we keep going?’
‘It’s like you said before – what else can we do?’
‘So I could kill myself now and be done with it.’
‘You could, and your search for whatever it is you’re looking for would end right there. Or you could simply accept that you’re not going to find a meaning to any of it, and then you’ll be free to do what you want. No burden.’
‘And that’s it?’
Ghazi frowned. ‘That’s everything there is and ever was. Think of it this way: this, now, is a clean slate. We’re freer than previous generations because we aren’t petty conquerors any longer and we don’t have the luxury of distraction. We can confront ourselves.’
‘Sure. Until we drop dead from heatstroke. Or take a knife to the chest. Or swan dive off a mountain.’
‘Maybe. But we don’t sit and wait to find out, not if we want to get the most out of our time here. Each day when I wake up, I seek to improve my connection with everything around me. Humans, animals, trees, rocks, the stars. Yes, my material needs sometimes take precedence. I won’t stand idly by and let myself or others be slaughtered, for example. And I won’t starve if I can help it. But beyond this, my mission is to understand what I call the soul.’
‘What if we don’t have one?’
‘We do,’ Ghazi said simply. ‘There can be nothing without it.’ Cassady took a branch from the pile and threw it into the fire. ‘Well, I don’t see a greater goal in the distance. We’re racing towards our end, that’s all. Willingly, knowingly, without pause. All of us have a death wish. Victor and Tagawa were ready to go over the edge just a few hours ago. We both know Brandt is desperate for an honourable death. When Renfield was killed, he was full of rage, but I also saw jealousy. Even Hearst is only here out of curiosity, to find out whether she’ll survive or not. Doesn’t that seem wrong to you?’
Ghazi looked at him across the fire. ‘And what about you?’
‘The idea is to keep running until the day I’m slower than the next person and she takes me out, right? That’s how it works. But I don’t want to wait. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I want to face it sooner rather than later, and I want to know if I’ll flinch when it happens.’
A steady metallic thud resonated behind them. Ghazi looked over his shoulder. Tagawa wielded a hammer, its head wrapped in cloth, and brought it down onto a warped piece of metal. Victor, eyes shielded behind an oversized pair of goggles, connected an arc welder to one of the Silkworm’s batteries. He dragged on a pair of filthy gloves and switched on the device. Tagawa moved out of the way, and fireworks exploded as the welder came into contact with the metal.
Cassady sat up and drank from the canteen of pulque. ‘The day I watched my father and mother die, I didn’t feel fear or remorse or despair.’ He shook his head. ‘It’s strange how the mind works. I forget many of the runs we’ve made. I bury them under a stone in the desert of my mind and walk away, never to come back. But this memory is as clear as spring water.’
Ghazi watched him, not moving for fear Cassady might close up.
‘I barely remember being a kid, but I know I was one that day. My father had fried a big piece of game on the stove, back when we still had propane. He had canisters of it hidden away in caches all over the north. Near the great lagoons, mostly. Fuel, tinned food, winter clothes, spares for the rig. After he died, I only managed to find a couple. Anyway, he was dishing up the meat. My mother was taking apart a radio set. The sun was strong and the way it hit the Old Lady made her look new, proud, invincible. I sat in the trees, keeping a lookout, listening to my stomach. I had no reason to be fearful. My senses had been blunted by weeks of isolation in the wilderness. I couldn’t wait to eat that game.
‘The arrow that hit my mother in the back knocked her to the floor. My father didn’t notice until she called to him. He kicked the stove over as he ran to her, and barely registered it when a second arrow tore a chunk out of his arm. When he reached her, he took her by the hand and tried to drag her under the rig. He was so calm about it, like it was happening to somebody else. She looked up at him and said something I couldn’t hear. The next arrow went through his shoulder. That stopped him. I watched him try to pull it out with hands that were slick and red. My mother watched him too, her face white. And I could see the acceptance in her eyes. She’d already let go.
‘They finished them off with knives. Two men, small, skinny, no different to any of the spectres lurking in the shadows by the side of the road. Just before they cut my father’s throat, he lifted his head and smiled, because he knew I was watching, because he wanted to show me everything was okay. Neither my mother nor my father showed any fear. They saw death and they didn’t flinch. They embraced it. And they went out knowing they’d passed the test.’
Ghazi added a couple of sticks to the fire. Cassady had alluded to what had happened a few times before, but never like that.
‘Do not wish for it to come to you,’ he said after a pause. ‘Death will find you soon enough.’
‘I need to know.’
‘If you follow that path, you may lead others down it as well.’
A furrow appeared on Cassady’s brow. ‘That’s how it is on this bitch of an earth.’
Ghazi nodded. ‘But you are not the blind man. Now is not the time to put your doubts ahead of everything and everyone. You are connected to us all, Cass. This is what you should remembe
r.’ He stood. ‘I’m going to sleep for a while. Wake me if you need anything, dostem.’
At the back of the truck, he heaved himself over the tailgate. Before he pulled the tarp down over the opening he regarded his friend once more, frame outlined by the flames that wrapped around charred entrails. The surface of the canteen winked as Cassady drank deep.
Telamonian arrived at the makeshift camp as night fell. In silence, the Runners watched the monster tuck itself in beside Warspite. A long gash had puckered the metal in the driver’s side door. Brandt and Wyler exited the cab, the older man arching his back as he walked over to the congregation sitting under the plastic sheet.
Katarina’s alert eyes searched Brandt’s body for signs of injury. ‘What happened?’
‘Nothing to worry about, meine Liebe. The price of ambition.’ Brandt accepted a stick of root from Cassady and chewed it while he told his story. ‘The rain was bad up there, so we had to stop. I didn’t set any traps. Just didn’t think it was necessary. Resting in the hold when four of them tried to ambush us. I think they wanted parts. One went at my door with an axe. I dropped him and Wyler took out another. The two still standing disappeared in the rain.’
Wyler peeled off a wet flak jacket. ‘These are the badlands, alright.’ He jammed a branch into the ground near the fire and hung the jacket from it. ‘Desperate men on the road to hell.’
‘Will you be ready to go in the morning?’ asked Cassady.
‘Cosmetic damage only,’ said Brandt. Wyler took out a pipe, packed the bowl with herbs and bark shavings and used a twig to light it. A bitter, fresh scent settled on the camp. He passed the pipe to Katarina.
A slurred voice rang out. ‘Sounds like you’re using up your lives pretty quick.’ Over by the Silkworm, Victor raised a canteen and drank.
‘If he keeps pushing me, he’ll have one less to count on,’ said Brandt quietly. ‘I guarantee that.’
Ghazi gestured to the fire. ‘Forget it. Make yourself comfortable instead.’
Victor jumped up. Before he could take another swig, Tagawa leaned over and plucked the canteen from his grasp. He held out his hand, but Tagawa shook his head and placed the canteen by his feet. Victor mumbled something in Japanese and staggered out from under the Silkworm’s canopy. Rain plastered his unruly hair to his forehead. Brandt stood with his legs apart, head brushing the plastic sheet, the fire forgotten. Knotty hands hung loose and ready by his sides.
Victor ducked under the canopy slung between Warspite and Orion. His thin-lipped mouth twisted into a sneer. His eyes had lost some of their sharpness. ‘If you set off now, you’re only gonna be an hour late getting to the camp tomorrow. It’s that way.’ He pointed at the trail that disappeared into the gloom. ‘But maybe taking the lead ain’t for you. I’ll tell you what. We’ll clear the way and you can drive as slow as you want. Because we’re just gonna wait for you anyway. Right, boss?’
Cassady eyed the boy. Lines cut into the pale skin between his eyebrows. ‘Now is not the time.’
‘When is the time? When another one of us is dead? When we’re all dead and he’s the only one left and there ain’t anybody else to point out how stupid this whole damn setup is?’
‘He hasn’t done anything to you. You can’t blame him for what happened today.’
‘I don’t. I blame you, Cassady.’ Victor spat out the words. ‘You cut the line and you cut us loose.’
‘That tree would have dragged us both over.’
‘So you saved yourself as soon as you could.’
Hearst, silent since they’d stopped and made camp, chose the moment to let out a dry laugh. The shadows from the fire merged with her tattoos. ‘Way of things.’
On unsteady legs, Victor spun around, glowering at each Runner in turn. He was ready to explode. ‘This ain’t a team. All you care about is not biting it before the day is through. Yeah, we’re heading in the same direction. But that’s it. If we’d gone over the edge, would any of you have climbed down to check if we were still breathing?’
Hearst answered a split second before Cassady. ‘No.’
‘Yes.’ Cassady threw her an ugly glance. ‘It isn’t like that, Victor. I wanted to help. I did. But I had to cut the line.’
‘We ain’t anything other than pawns to you.’ He turned his attention back to Brandt, making sure to hold his gaze as he made a fresh attack. ‘What I don’t get is why he has special privileges. Why does he get to take his time at the back, slowing us down, turning up after the work is over?’
‘You see the size of that rig compared to the others,’ said Cassady. ‘It can’t go as fast as us. Anyway, look at the door. They were attacked.’
‘Another reason to drop him. He’s attracting all the wrong attention.’
Ghazi slowly got to his feet, making sure to be ready for whatever came next. The boy was spoiling for it. Long, monotonous hours of driving were perfect for scratching away at the surface of a thought until it became a festering wound. Sometimes the bad blood simply had to be let, and afterwards they could all move on. He wouldn’t step in unless either Brandt or Victor threatened to go too far. He admired the younger man’s courage. He hadn’t been eating properly for months and Brandt was close to twice his size. He could only see one outcome.
Brandt hadn’t moved while Victor spoke his mind. Now he waited for his opponent to come to him and concede the psychological advantage. Whether due to indifference or ignorance, Victor obliged. Before either man could make the next move, Katarina placed herself between the two. Weathered hands pressed against their swelled chests. ‘Violence is not the path we need to walk here. Jürgen, think about what you’re doing. We live in a world saturated with pain already. Do you want to contribute to that? And Victor, look at yourself. You’re drunk. Bed down and sleep it off. Don’t take the easy route.’
Victor pushed her hand away. ‘I ain’t got a quarrel with you, old woman. Stay out of this.’
Brandt jerked his head and clicked his tongue. Katarina looked to Cassady to intervene, but he remained seated by the fire.
‘I will not be part of this.’ She turned away, climbed into the back of Orion and closed the door.
Brandt stared Victor down. ‘I’m here. What do you have to say to me?’
‘I’m done talking.’
Cassady beat his palm against his chest and frowned. He tried a final time. ‘This isn’t going to solve anything.’
‘Give me your best,’ said Brandt. As he brought his guard up and shifted his weight onto his back foot, Victor sprang forward in a blur and threw a solid left that landed on Brandt’s cheek. He staggered back, surprise still registering as a right connected with his skull and sent him reeling. He fell against Warspite with a thump, and his head was yanked from side to side with an invisible string as he tried to recover from the blows. Victor backed off into the middle of the makeshift fighting space, cracked his knuckles and swept back his shock of hair. He’d shaken off his inebriation quickly and was focused on taking the big German down. Brandt pushed himself back upright. Warspite creaked on her suspension.
‘Those were your free ones.’ He probed his teeth with his tongue and brought his fists back up. The pair circled the space, each waiting for the other to show a chink in their armour.
Ghazi casually edged around the space until he was closer to Tagawa. The other Silkworm driver hadn’t moved yet, but he would be ready if the Japanese tried to step in. On the other side of the space, Hearst bared her teeth in a grim rictus, a lion watching two hyenas snap at one another. Wyler worked his pipe from one side of his mouth to the other. Cassady kept his features blank. That meant he was irritated.
Brandt threw a punch with his right that Victor blocked with a strong forearm. The response was a low jab that hit the old Runner in the kidney and forced him back again. A confident smile was evident on the younger man’s lips. As long as Brandt kept underestimating him, he would continue to pick out the spots where it hurt the most.
But the old German w
asn’t a fool. With a cry, he charged shoulder-first into Victor and sent them both sprawling to the sodden ground. Brandt was quick to rally, rolling the boy onto his back as he gasped for air and then trapping his arms under his knees. A heavy punch to the jaw knocked the fight out of Victor. A second hammered his left eye shut. Brandt’s jabs were spiteful and designed to humiliate his opponent. The third punch split Victor’s lip, and the blood ran slick against his knuckles. The last sent the boy under the waves.
Now Tagawa stood, rolled up the sleeves of his black tunic and left the cover of the Silkworm’s canopy. Ghazi ghosted in front of him to block the way. Cassady sprang to his feet.
‘Enough, Brandt. You win. Get off him.’ He turned and pointed at Tagawa. ‘You. Back off. Now.’
Calmly, Tagawa looked at his stricken partner on the floor. ‘I warned you all this would happen,’ he said.
‘It was a fair fight,’ replied Cassady. ‘He knew what he was getting into. So don’t do anything foolish.’ He signalled to Wyler. ‘Help him up.’
‘You could’ve prevented it,’ said the Japanese quietly. ‘Let me take him to our rig.’
The wild man tapped his pipe against his boot and slipped it into a pocket. Then he gripped Victor by the wrist and hauled him to his feet. The boy’s hair was caked with mud. Blood ran down his chin and the skin under his eye was already puffed up. Wyler slapped him across the cheek. He groaned and lifted his head, unsure of what had happened.
Ghazi stepped aside to let Tagawa pass. ‘Let me know if you need anything.’
‘I won’t.’
Wyler helped Tagawa drag the boy over to the Silkworm. Brandt watched them go. He wiped his bloody knuckles against his trousers and muttered under his breath.
Cassady glanced at him. ‘Proud of yourself?’
The old man’s mouth opened and closed, but no sound emerged. He stumbled away into the rain.
For a minute, only the fire spoke. Then Hearst stirred.
‘Better man won.’
The evening station report crushed any hope they had of making up for lost time. Heavy flooding had washed away roads and destroyed settlements, swelling the ranks of the transients on the hunt for food, water and transport. Any vehicles capable of moving would now be prime targets. The report had signed off with the news, again, that an unknown group was pushing up from the south.