“What?” Jackson and Edgar asked simultaneously, both equally terrified their performances hadn’t been adequate.
“That was awful. Start from the beginning.”
Jackson and Edgar both walked back to their original places and pul ed themselves back into the scene. Kevin was angry with David because David had slept with Kevin’s wife. David’s character was notorious for being the worst kind of jerk, but since Jackson was so ruggedly handsome, his character appeared more charming than anything else, making millions of people across the world fal in love with him.
After the scene was finally shot, Jackson, Edgar, and the entire cast and crew were completely drained. Gus had a way of sucking the life out of even the happiest, most carefree people. Besides, he had made them run the scene at least a dozen times and rehearsal had only been scheduled for a few hours. It was now after six and Jackson knew Clara would be upset that he wasn’t home yet. She was probably freaking out about him not being home in time for dinner.
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Maybe he would pick up some flowers for her as an apology. She was obsessed with hydrangeas, so that would make her happy if he surprised her with a bouquet. And maybe he would pick up dinner from her favorite Mexican restaurant.
Once Jackson was home, he discovered Clara wasn’t there. He put the hydrangeas and take-out containers from the Mexican restaurant in the kitchen. A note sat coolly on the kitchen counter, in Clara’s barely legible handwriting.
Jackson,
I don’t know if I can do this anymore. You promised you would be home in a few hours and God only knows what you’ve been doing this whole time. I’m going to stay at my apartment for a few days and think about things. Maybe you’re right; we don’t need to get married. It’s clearly not what you want, and I’m done trying to force this to work if you aren’t going to put in any effort.
Clara
Jackson blankly stared at the page and read it again, the second time Clara’s writing scrambled in front of him, the letters blurring together into nonsense, moving of their own accord on the creamy white paper, rising into the air and floating off, past him and out the window, taunting him until he couldn’t handle it anymore. He ripped the note off the counter and tore it into shredded pieces.
Jackson slumped onto the cool kitchen tiles and sat with his back against the counter. After a few minutes of feeling sorry for himself, he decided he had to act. It didn’t make sense that Clara would leave him because he had gotten home from work late. That 13
The Long Shadow on the Stage had happened before and she had been upset, but never angry enough to break up with him. There had to be something else bothering her. He walked into the living room and sat on the couch, tossing her stupid sequin pil ows on the ground, and staring blankly, uncomprehending, at the TV screen for hours. So much for swinging into action. Life was easier this way, if you just let things happen to you as they came. It was much simpler to refrain from trying to stop the inevitable. Jackson always fought as hard as he could for the things he wanted. Perhaps he had been doing it wrong this whole time. Maybe he just needed to lie down and accept that Clara was gone, he was losing his job soon, and things were only going to get worse if he kept fighting against it.
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15
C H A P T E R 2 :
J a c k s o n
lmost a week later, Jackson woke up frantically in the middle Aof the night. He reached out to Clara’s side of the bed, only to come up empty-handed. He sighed and rol ed back over, knowing his sadness was futile, knowing he had to do something, and couldn’t follow through with letting her leave him. Why did he keep screwing up so badly?
He jumped out of bed, throwing on his wrinkled clothes from the day before. He only took a few minutes to comb his hair and spritz on body spray before bounding out of his apartment and into the chilly NYC November air. Damn. Why did he keep forgetting his coat? He was really on top of things lately.
It would be impossible to catch a taxi at this time of night.
Besides, he had three extravagant luxury cars at his disposal. He
The Long Shadow on the Stage might as wel use them before he was bankrupt and forced to sel them. His 2015 Ford Focus was the most practical of his cars, the least expensive and flashy, but he chose to drive it tonight. He whipped out of the parking garage (which he paid an astronomical monthly fee for) and headed towards Clara’s much smaller, much less nice apartment. He had a key, so it wasn’t a problem getting inside. He opened the door and crept into her bedroom, finally dawning on the realization that he might terrify her, bursting into her apartment at this time of night. Jackson knew Clara would be asleep because she had endured a long week of meetings for the women’s magazine she worked for as an editor. But when he knocked softly on her bedroom door, Clara answered, wearing one of his old t-shirts, her hair a frizzy mess from laying on it. She stil looked adorable and he longed to hold her and tel her everything would be alright. He could promise that now because final y he knew what he wanted.
“Jackson,” Clara said softly, throwing herself into his arms and sighing in contentment as he embraced her.
“Clara,” he replied simply, holding her tightly as he had imagined. “I missed you so much. I couldn’t bear the thought of being away from you. I’m sorry I’m not always around and that I’m not as romantic as you want me to be sometimes. I’m sorry I don’t consistently do things that show how much I care about you and appreciate you. But I love you more than I have ever loved anyone or anything. More than my acting career, my friends, my cars. You mean more to me than al of it and I know I won’t ever be happy 16
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unless I can call you my wife.”
Jackson got down on one knee and grabbed Clara’s hands.
“Clara, wil you marry me?” Before she could answer, he quickly said,
“Uh, I don’t have a ring, but we can go pick one out tomorrow, okay?
Whichever one you want.”
“Oh, Jackson! I love you! Yes, yes, I’ll marry you!” Tears streamed down her face as she bent down to kiss him. “Are we real y going to look at engagement rings tomorrow?”
“Of course,” Jackson said, kissing her again. “Anything you want.”
“Wil you stay the night?” She asked, tugging on the col ar of his shirt coyly.
“Yes. You know, the night you left that note. . I brought hydrangeas and Mexican food home for you. I was going to apologize and make it up to you. I’m really sorry. Gus was being a complete dick at rehearsal, and he wouldn’t let us leave. I tried to get away.”
“You did?” Her face fell. “I’m sorry too. That was so sweet of you. I- I don’t know what I was thinking. I didn’t want things to continue the way they have been.”
“I understand. Next time I’l text you when I have to work late.
And don’t ever think that I don’t want to spend time with you. I wish I didn’t have to work so much, but it’s not as if I enjoy being away from you.”
“Okay,” Clara replied, smiling up at him.
Jackson smiled back. His life was starting to feel at peace again.
Things would go back to normal now. No more stupid 17
The Long Shadow on the Stage disagreements with Clara, or refusing to final y commit to her, and best of all, soon he wouldn’t have to deal with Gus anymore.
“You can move into my apartment too,” he blurted out. It made sense if they were going to be married soon. They might as wel start moving her stuff in now. She had so much shit it would take forever anyways.
“Oh, I’m so excited! It wil be much easier to not have to carry my stuff back and forth al the time. But, Jackson, do you think we can re-decorate your apartment? No offense, but it’s not really my style.”
“It’s not my apartment anymore. It’s ours. And we will see about the decorating. One thing at a time,” Jackson responded, laughing weakly.
“Fi
ne. Since we’re already up, do you want to watch a movie?
There’s this new Christian Bale one I saw on Netflix the other day.
I was waiting to watch it so we could see it together. You like Christian Bale, right?” Clara stared at him adoringly, her brown eyes sparkling in an irresistible way.
Jackson knew he had just sentenced himself to a lifetime of watching Clara fawn over Christian Bale or Johnny Depp, or whatever other male celebrities she found attractive, and he knew that also entailed watching chick flicks and musicals and whatever else she wanted. But it wasn’t the end of the world. That was the least of what he would have to deal with for the rest of his life and knowing that made him happy to oblige her wishes and watch the stupid movie.
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Since they had stayed up all night, Jackson suggested they go out for breakfast. He let Clara choose her favorite breakfast place because for some reason she never failed to get sick of the weak coffee and flavorless hash browns they served. Slowly, day by day, he would make it up to her. He would prove himself worthy of being her husband, and they would live happily ever after, just like in that movie Clara had convinced him to watch that one time.
***
Jackson knew he had made the right decision, even if Edgar thought he was crazy, even if his parents didn’t approve because they thought Clara was after his money, even if everyone else in the world thought marrying Clara was an awful idea. However, there was also the matter of her co-worker Blaine. Blaine was 30 and had blonde wavy hair just past his chin, the sort of blue eyes that were the precise color of ocean water and the sky on a perfect clear summer day, and glasses that suited him wel . Blaine had been working for the women’s magazine a few years longer than Clara, so he had seniority and was technical y her supervisor, although he never held that over her. He had been the one to train her and help her adjust when she first started the job. Blaine shamelessly flirted with her and it was no secret to everyone in the office that he was in love with her.
But of course, none of this mattered because Clara was with Jackson. Blaine was content enough being her friend, happy to be close to her in any capacity he could. Clara had never hung out with Blaine outside of work and Jackson knew she would never cheat on him. In fact, Jackson knew he really had nothing to worry about.
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The Long Shadow on the Stage But the thought of another man being in love with his girlfriend sometimes made him a little crazy. He hated to admit it, but he was jealous. He didn’t entirely understand Clara and Blaine’s friendship, but he understood why Blaine loved Clara. Despite the disagreements Jackson had with Clara, the way she expected so much out of him, and how half the time she drove him insane with her desire to control every aspect of his life.. he stil loved her. They were always honest with each other, although sometimes to a fault.
Clara expected a lot out of him because she knew he was capable of greatness; she had always pushed him and his success in the entertainment industry could largely be claimed to be her doing.
And Jackson knew Clara only wanted what was best for him. So, yes, maybe the spur of the moment proposal hadn’t been planned and thought out for months in advance, or hadn’t even been the most romantic of proposals, but they were just two imperfect people who loved each other, and isn’t that the best anyone can hope for?
***
Jackson strutted into rehearsal feeling the best he had in weeks.
Edgar was being weird lately, but he went through phases every once in a while where he was more standoffish and unapproachable than usual. Jackson was used to it after years of being friends with him; he knew it was best to let it pass and act as cordially as possible to him. It was rare that something was wrong; Edgar had a flair for drama and thrived on conflict. One time, when they were seven or eight, Edgar had run home screaming to his parents that Jackson was being mean to him. He claimed Jackson had punched him in 20
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the stomach and that he felt like he couldn’t breathe. He was screaming and crying his skinny little head off until his face was red and covered in snot. He was upset that Jackson told him he couldn’t play with his Tyrannosaurus Rex toy. It was Jackson’s favorite and Edgar was mad that he couldn’t play with it. That was the first of many times that Jackson had to figure out how to handle Edgar’s temper. But Edgar was a loyal friend and he was always there for Jackson. Although, he didn’t like Clara, which would be more of an issue once they were married. Of course, Edgar claimed to like her and had never said otherwise, but Jackson knew him wel enough to know when he was lying. It was like the dinosaur toy al over again.
Edgar wanted to be the only important person in Jackson’s life; there wasn’t room for anyone else.
It was the first time they were rehearsing the final scene of the TV show. They didn’t shoot the scenes in order, so they stil had other scenes to work on, but Gus wanted the last part to be perfect because it was what every loyal viewer would remember for years to come.
“No, no, no!” Gus screamed, standing up from his director’s chair and kicking it away for the tenth time that day. He did this so often that the cast and crew weren’t shocked anymore. “You’re doing it wrong. Didn’t you go to school for this shit you call acting? Did you pay attention at al in those fucking classes? Show some emotion. Make me feel sorry that you’re about to get your tiny brain blown out.” He stood stil , observing the set for a moment. “Is someone going to pick up my damn chair or do I have to do 21
The Long Shadow on the Stage everything around here?!”
A crew member scuttled over nervously, picking up the chair and placing it upright again.
“Start the scene, princess!”
The gun was aimed directly at Jackson’s head.
“Don’t do it,” he pleaded, this time with tears streaming down his face. “Please. I can fix this. You-you’re my best friend. You mean more to me than anyone.. ”
And with that, Edgar pulled the trigger on the prop gun.
Jackson’s eyes went wild. He fell backwards onto the stage. Edgar’s character cool y observed the scene, slowly inching forward to look over Jackson’s character’s now lifeless body.
“Guns are a beautiful thing,” Edgar said. “They kill in such a messy way that they sometimes go unappreciated. They seem simple, but it’s stil an art form, no matter how you look at it. Although the bodies are always awful to take care of, the gun must be checked for fingerprints, and a multitude of things could go wrong…” He paused. “Ah, but if it goes right. .then you just might witness the most magical thing you’ve ever seen or ever wil see. It’s an experience only a chosen few get to enjoy. But us lucky ones know how breathtaking it is to experience death firsthand. To know that you were the one to snuff out a light, to pluck a soul from this world.
I feel…like a god.”
Gus came over wide-eyed and smiling and clapped Edgar hard on the back. “Good job, princess. You were kind of creeping me out for a second there. It sounded…believable. Jackson, keep trying. You 22
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haven’t impressed me yet.”
Edgar turned to Jackson and said in a sympathetic tone, “Don’t worry, Jackson. You’ll get there eventually.”
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Document Outline
THE LONG SHADOW ON THE STAGE
THE LONG SHADOW ON THE STAGE
CHAPTER 1: Jackson
CHAPTER 2: Jackson
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The Long Shadow on the Stage Chapters 1 and 2 Page 2