by Kelly Myers
All I can do is nod. My words are stuck in my throat. She and James must have spoken at some point in the last hour or two. “What about it?” I manage to ask.
“It belongs to my brother.” She looks me straight in the eye. “James Douglas.”
Do I admit that I already know? Or, play dumb? I decide that I owe it to her to be honest. I don’t ever want to lie to Ashley. “I know,” I say.
Her sea-blue eyes widen. “You know?”
“I just found out.”
“When?”
“I had my suspicions in Chicago when you started talking about your family.”
“Since Chicago? And, you didn’t say anything?”
“No. It would’ve spoiled everything. And, I wasn’t even sure. When I got back to the office, I did some digging, though, and confirmed it.”
“You can’t take it away. His company means everything to him.”
I can’t take it away? The fuck I can’t. I don’t like being told what to do when it comes to business. There’s a reason I have a cutthroat reputation. I don’t put personal feelings and emotions before a deal. If it benefits Carson Industries then it’s a good move. “Ashley, I don’t know what your brother told you, but this is business. It’s best if you don’t get involved.”
“I am involved, Drew. And, according to him, I work for the very enemy who’s trying to destroy him. How do you think that makes me feel?”
“You’re letting your emotions rule.”
“He’s my brother!”
I sigh. “I understand that. But, acquiring JD Unlimited will be an asset to my company.”
Something seems to pass through her eyes and they turn a deeper shade of green when she looks up at me. “Please, don’t do this, Drew. For me.”
How can she ask this of me? It’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at. I feel a wave of anger pass through me and I want to wring her brother’s neck. That guy has been nothing but a thorn in my side since day one. And, now, when I’m so close to taking him down, she wants me to pull out.
Everything in me rebels against the idea.
“Ashley, I would do anything for you-” I begin.
“Then, do this,” she interrupts, her voice pleading. “I’ll never ask you for anything ever again.”
For a moment, I don’t say anything. A part of me even begins to consider it. But, then my reasonable side takes over. “I can’t,” I say.
For a moment, she doesn’t say anything. Just blinks as though trying to process what I’m saying. That I’m denying her something she wants.
“Seriously? You can’t? Why not?” Her voice starts to rise which instantly puts me on the defensive.
“Because it’s in the best interest of Carson Industries to follow through with the takeover.”
She lets out a frustrated laugh. “Are you listening to yourself?”
My eyes narrow and I feel my temper slip a notch. Instead of responding, I grit my teeth. I’m trying to be careful and not say anything I’ll regret.
“It’s one little company, Drew. You have billions of dollars,” she says, throwing it in my face as though it were a bad thing. “You don’t need it. Go after someone else.”
I struggle to keep my temper in check. But, it’s getting harder. “Why are you making this personal?”
“Because it is personal!”
Why does she think her brother is so goddamn perfect? Because apparently and, as usual, I’m the bad guy here. “Yeah, you know what? You’re right. And, I think it became fucking personal when your brother punched me in the face a few weeks ago.”
Her eyes widen just a bit, and that emerald shade within them flares. Something in her mind connects and she swallows hard. “You got in a fist fight with him.”
It wasn’t a question. She knows the answer, maybe remembers seeing my handiwork. Because I know my left hook must’ve left a nice mark. “Hey, I was just defending myself.”
She tilts her head, makes a face like she doesn’t believe me.
“I don't know what bullshit he told you, but he came after me. And, I don’t regret getting a few hits in. Honestly, I enjoyed it. Because you know what, Ashley? Your brother is a fucking dick.”
As soon as the words leave my mouth, I regret saying them. Her eyes narrow and then flash. “No, Drew,” she says. “You’re the fucking dick.”
She jumps off the stool and stalks toward the foyer.
And, something in me snaps. “Get back here!” I roar. When she ignores me and keeps marching to the door, I see a red haze. I am so fucking sick of her goddamn brother. All he’s done is cause problems and give me grief that I don’t need. And, now he’s messing up my relationship with Ashley. Sabotaging the one thing I care so much about.
She tosses a flippant look over her shoulder and picks up her pace. My pulse pounds in a furious rhythm. When I tell someone to do something, I expect them to do it. “I told you to come here,” I say between gritted teeth.
“Stop bossing me around,” she snaps, and spins to face me. “You’re not my Dad.”
“Fuck I’m not.” I grab her wrist, drag her up against me. And, despite everything, I feel the hot flame of desire spring up between us. “Call me Daddy.” When she tries to pull away, my fingers dig deeper. “Do it.”
“No,” she hisses. “You can’t make me do anything. I’m not on your payroll anymore, Mr. Carson.” She pries my fingers from her wrist and those eyes flash an ungodly green.
And, I feel the first wave of panic. But, then she’s off again, hurrying toward the front door, moving across the marble hall entranceway.
Shit. “Ashley wait!” I chase after her.
“Leave me alone!”
“We’re not done talking!” I yell.
She grabs the door handle, yanks it open. “We are completely done,” she spits out.
My heart sinks. “Just listen to me-”
“No, you listen to me. Consider this my resignation. We’re finished.”
I think I hear her voice crack, but then she rushes away.
“Ashley!” I call. But, she ignores me and hurries up to her Honda parked at the curb. As she drives away, I slump against the door frame and shove a hand through my hair. Fuck. I can’t believe how badly I just messed that up.
And, I have no idea how I’m going to fix it.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Ashley
All I can do is lay on my bed and cry.
I can’t believe he chose work over me.
The thought echoes through my head over and over. Day and night. My confrontation with Drew was two days ago and I haven’t heard from him since. He told me I was amazing and beautiful and how much he wanted me to be in his life. And, the first thing I ask him to do-- spare my brother’s company-- he refuses.
And, then he tries to turn it around on me. I’m letting my emotions rule. I’m making it personal.
Ashley, I would do anything for you…
Liar, I think.
If he truly cares for me, he would leave JD Unlimited alone. I believe this with my whole heart because Drew Carson doesn’t need any more money. What else does he possibly need to buy? Who else does he feel the need to impress?
All this time, I thought he cared for me. He sure had me fooled. Obviously, I was nothing more than a fuck buddy. He proved that when he grabbed my wrist and yanked me up against him.
“Call me Daddy.”
Did he really think sleeping together would make things better? Make the problem with James just go away? Stupid, arrogant man.
It makes me sick to my stomach.
Literally.
I jump up and race for the bathroom, twist my hair back and puke into the toilet. I can’t seem to keep anything down lately. I wipe the back of my hand across my sweaty forehead and sag against the sink. Maybe I’m coming down with something. The stomach flu probably.
I hear my phone beep with a text alert, but I ignore it. I splash water on my face and brush my teeth. When I finally wander back into
my room, I drop onto my bed, reach for my phone and check the screen.
It’s Drew.
Heart in my throat, I open the message and read, “Can we talk?”
I throw my phone across my bed, bury my face in a pillow and scream.
The man is utterly infuriating. What the hell does he expect me to do? Come crawling back and say how much I miss him?
He can go fuck himself if he thinks that’s going to happen.
Drew Carson is so used to getting his own way, but not with me. I absolutely refuse to give in after the callous way he acted. He didn’t give a shit that James is my brother or that I practically begged him to call off the takeover. And, then to have the audacity to try to seduce me!
All he cares about is himself. He’s nothing but a selfish bastard and you’re better off without him, I tell myself.
But, then why does it hurt so much? I wonder.
I feel like my heart has been pulled out and pulverized into a million little pieces. My eyes fill with tears as I reach for my phone and text Drew back.
“Leave me alone. It’s over.”
I hit send with a shaky hand.
I had thought what Ben did to me was bad. That’s nothing compared to this. This hurts more than anything because I was dumb enough to fall in love with Drew Carson.
I swipe the tears away, wanting him to text me back and at the same time wanting him to drop dead.
As the days go by, I tell myself things will get better. Eventually, he will be a distant memory.
I couldn’t be more wrong.
Almost two weeks after I ran off after our fight, I know something is definitely not right with my body. My period is almost a week late and, at first, I chalk it up to stress. But, the nausea is persistent and I feel so tired all the time.
Then, the worst possible scenario crosses my mind.
Pregnant?
It’s not possible. Stupid girl, I think, it’s entirely possible and very probable. Drew was careful and responsible every time. Until I threw myself on him at the charity event.
The quick conversation reverberates through my head.
I don’t have any protection, he told me.
I don’t care, I said, and proceeded to rip his pants off.
I feel like such an idiot. What the hell was I thinking? How could I have been so careless?
You don’t know for sure, a voice whispers.
I guess it’s time to find out. I run out to the pharmacy, debate over 20 different home pregnancy tests and finally buy one. I’ve never done this before and I’m scared.
Back in my bathroom, I follow the instructions and wait, eyes glued to the little stick in my hand.
What if it’s yes? What am I going to do?
My heart squeezes. Drew has been sending me texts all week. When I don’t answer, he calls. I obviously do not pick up and he inevitably leaves a message. It’s becoming like clockwork. I thought he would stop, but I swear, it’s only increasing.
I miss you. Please, pick up. I need to talk to you. I want you back in my life. I’m sorry.
No matter what he says, I ignore it.
I put all of my trust in him and he breaks my heart.
And, the one thing he should say to me-- that he’s giving up the takeover-- he doesn’t. He’s a stubborn man who is so used to getting his own way that he forgets other people have feelings, too.
I sigh, caught in my stormy thoughts, and try to understand why he chose to move forward with the takeover. I suppose I could talk to James and find out more details, but I haven’t had the strength or desire to return any of his calls either. The most important men in my life are acting like complete babies and I can’t take it.
It’s almost time. I bite my lip, heart in my throat, and look down at the little stick whose results have the power to change my life.
You did it to yourself, I remind myself. You jumped on him like a dog in heat.
And, now it’s the moment of truth.
I take a deep breath, lift the stick and see a positive sign.
Omigod. Just when I think things can’t get any worse.
I am pregnant with Drew Carson’s baby.
Chapter Thirty
Drew
I used to sit in this leather chair in my office and gaze out the window like a king on his throne getting ready to take over the world.
Now, I slump in it like a broken man.
Ever since Ashley left my house that night after we fought, I’ve felt lost. I used to have the answer to everything and I knew exactly what I wanted.
And, I wanted JD Unlimited. I yearned to see James Douglas on his knees, groveling, as I ripped his company away.
My mind feels rather indifferent now. It’s like I lost the bloodlust in me that used to look forward to the kill. Something stronger has taken over.
Love.
It took some time away from Ashley to realize how hard I had fallen. Since I’ve never been truly in love with anyone, I didn’t even recognize the emotion at first. But, the longer we remained apart, when the days passed without her and seemed endless, I began to feel this overwhelming sense of loss.
God, I miss seeing her, touching her, loving her.
It’s almost become a physical ache and I don’t know what to do anymore. She ignores all of my calls and voicemails. I’ve thought about just showing up at her apartment, but she probably won’t let me in. And, shit, I don’t blame her.
I’m an asshole.
When she asked me to give up going after her brother’s company, why couldn’t I take a step back and look at it from her perspective? Because you’re a selfish fucker, Drew.
She said they were extremely close so why didn’t I make an exception? I let my pride and arrogance ruin everything. And, now here I sit, a fool on his throne. All alone.
I want Ashley back in my life and I have to figure out the best way to make it happen.
What if it’s too late? a little voice asks.
My gaze wanders up to look out the glass partition but, instead of the beautiful blonde who challenges me in every way and holds my heart in her hands, I see Becca in her too-big glasses, frumpy suit and very flat ballet shoes.
My intercom buzzes and I answer, my voice sounding desolate. “Yes?”
“I have Dan on line 1,” Becca says.
“Okay, thank you,” I say.
I see a look of surprise move over her face as she transfers the call. I don’t think I ever thanked her before.
God, I really am a fuckin’ asshole.
“Dan, how are you?” I force out and grab a pen. On a post-it, I jot down, “Give Becca a raise,” and stick it to the edge of my laptop.
“Still hoping you’ll let this whole thing go,” he says. When I don’t say anything, he continues, “But, I know what a stubborn ass you can be so the final meeting with James and the Board of Directors is tomorrow morning at 10. I’ll have all the paperwork for everyone to sign and then JD Unlimited and all its problems will officially belong to you.”
“Great,” I say, my voice full of sarcasm.
“It’s not too late, Drew. I urge you to think hard on it tonight.”
“I think I’ve made up my mind, Dan.”
He sighs. “Alright then. See you tomorrow.”
“See you.” I hang up and grab my cell phone. I pull up my favorites and hit Ashley’s number. It rings and rings and finally drops me into her voicemail. “Hi, Ashley. I just wanted to hear your voice. I know you’re still upset, but I really want to talk to you. Please.” I sigh then hang up, so sick of talking to her voicemail and leaving messages that she’s probably just deleting.
I contemplate going to her place for the thousandth time. But, what if James is there? No, that would be bad. The last thing I want is a big blowout. It would only make things worse.
God, is that even possible?
So, instead, I pick up my phone again and text her. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Leigh. This is killing me.”
I go i
nto my saved photos and pull up the picture of Ashley and I kissing on the Ledge in Chicago that the Skydeck emailed to me. Arms around each other, standing over 1,300 feet above the city, we look like we’re standing at the edge of Heaven.
We look beyond happy.
I send the picture to her. Maybe it’s a mistake to do so, but I want her to see how happy we are together and for her to want that feeling again.
To want me again.
Then, a terrible thought hits me. What if she’s blocked my number? Or, better yet, if she’s going to get a new number altogether?
The thought of Ashley Monroe never being in my life again is too much to bear. What am I going to do without her? How am I going to just go back to my life and pretend that everything is okay when I feel like a part of my heart and soul is missing?
Chapter Thirty-One
Ashley
“Hi, Ashley. I just wanted to hear your voice. I know you’re still upset, but I really want to talk to you. Please.”
I hit delete.
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Leigh. This is killing me.”
I shut the text and almost right away another one appears. I open it and see the picture of Drew kissing me on the Ledge.
And, I think my heart breaks all over again.
My eyes slide shut and tears seep out from beneath my lids. I feel betrayed, alone and completely devastated. Even though I still have feelings for Drew, I know that I have to stand by my brother. Today is going to be hell for him because it’s the day he loses his company.
And, I am going with him to face Drew.
I am terrified to see Drew and don’t know what he’s going to do. I don’t think he will try to talk to me because I’m going to be with James. But, with Drew Carsom who really knows? I know that he’s capable of anything. And, when he wants something, there’s no stopping him.
I take extra care getting ready and have to apply more concealer than usual to help cover my puffy eyes. A day hasn’t passed that I haven’t burst into tears at some point. And, it doesn’t help that my hormones are all over the place.