by L V Chase
He’s right. I’ve seen how the others treat him. In this school, he’s a god. If I push him too far, he’ll shove back five times as hard. I’m walking a fine, dangerous line trying to keep my dignity while not getting torn apart.
As far as I can tell, I’m the only one who won’t fall on my knees and suck his dick like everyone else. I won’t become the very thing I despise. I won’t.
But fuck, I can’t lie.
I’m tempted.
13
Grayson
It's Thursday evening, and all four of us are home for one of our mandatory monthly family dinners. I don't think Dad would be able to stand spending any more time with us than necessary. These dinners are probably his way of making sure that we still exist, that we haven't gone to jail or died, or that we haven't stolen everything in the house and run off. I can't think of any other reason he insists on them, not with the way he acts towards the others.
We're seated around a rectangular oak table. Dad's at the head, Trisha's at the other end, I'm on Dad's right, and Aurora's on Dad's right. Dad's spoken all of three words to Trisha. He's spoken plenty more to Aurora, but all of them have been harsh.
Dad takes a sip of red wine and places the glass back on the table. "Any trouble at school?" he asks.
He doesn't give a damn about anything but trouble. Most parents would ask how school is, but Dad doesn't care. He only wants to know if there's something that could embarrass or hurt him. Or something that he could use as leverage on the networks.
Before I can reply, Aurora speaks first. "No, school's been going great. I'm really looking forward to my media arts class. We'll have a two-week internship in the winter. I figured I could do it at our company..."
I try to catch Aurora's eyes, but she's smiling brightly at Dad. She doesn't notice me shaking my head.
Dad cuts a piece off the steak on his plate, his knife making a ragged, cutting sound. "My company doesn't have time for any more interns. I'm sure one of the smaller outfits is desperate for free labor, although with media, appearances are everything." He looks up at Aurora with a critical eye. "I'm just not seeing it."
Dad turns his attention back towards his steak and misses Aurora's crushed expression. When he looks up to reach for his wine glass, Aurora is smiling again.
Trisha's seat creaks as she shifts. "Aurora, dear," her mother says. "I'm sure Lawrence can find you a spot."
Dad doesn't even acknowledge Trisha. "No trouble?" he asks me.
"Only a little. That one bi—" I catch myself at the last moment. It's a family dinner and all that. We usually pretend to be polite. "That one girl's been on my nerves."
"That bitch, you mean. Nothing wrong with calling a bitch a bitch. Say it like you see it. You're at the top of the chain, a killer, a hunter." Dad makes a small gesturing motion with his head. "Because if you aren't, they'll be coming after you. Your name, your money. Your damn company."
"What about you, Aurora?" Trisha asks with a half-hearted smile. "Meet any nice boys? Or troublesome ones?"
Aurora pushes the food around her plate with her fork, then sets the silverware down. Her mouth is shut tight, her shoulders slumped. "No, no boys. Excuse me." She pushes her chair out and disappears.
After a moment, Trisha moves to get up and go after Aurora, but Dad finally gives her his full attention. His voice is ice-cold.
"One thing. I only ask for one thing. Once a month, a family dinner. If your daughter can't be bothered to respect that, at least have the courtesy to see it through yourself."
"I was just going to check—" Trisha manages.
"Sit down." Dad stares at Trisha until she sits back down in her chair.
"Don't let a sliver of disrespect slip by," Dad says to me. "They take more, bit by bit, until they've swallowed you whole. No, that's not our way. You shut it down. Bam, like that."
"But how much is too much?" I ask, eyeing a cowed Trisha out of the corner of my eye.
Cin's already breaking down, but I want to take things further with her. Keep her on edge. At some level, I know I have better things to do.
"When's it time to move on?" I ask.
Dad eyes me knowingly. "That bitch? Too much is better than too little when it comes to them. It's simple. Find out what hurts them the most, them make them hurt."
I nod. The rest of dinner is uneventful. Dad mentions some new upstarts in the media business that he's got his eye on. Otherwise, it's mostly quiet.
Afterwards, I head down the hall towards the bathroom but stop when I hear a name.
Cin.
The door to Aurora's bedroom is cracked slightly ajar, and I can hear her talking about Cin on the phone. I slip closer to the door frame, resting with my back against the wall.
"Cinnamon, I’m so sorry," Aurora gushes. "I couldn't stop thinking...oh my god...I swear I'm probably more embarrassed..."
Not talking about Cin. Talking to Cin. I hold my breath and slide even closer to listen.
"I don't know how to make it up to you. But I wanted you to hang out with us this Friday. We're having a new school year party at our place."
Aurora's quiet, listening for a few seconds.
"No, you have to come. I'll introduce you to everyone. It'll be super fun. It's the least I can do to make it up. Please? Come on, Cinnamon."
Another pause. Cin can't be that stupid, can she? Aurora's just trying to find out more about her to get on my good side. It can't be more obvious. Why else would Aurora act nice to anyone?
"Great! I can't wait..."
I move away from the door. I can't tell if I'm more annoyed with Aurora for being a bitch or with Cin for being a gullible idiot. I don't even know why I'm annoyed in the first place, but the whole idea of Cin being that naive pisses me off. What's wrong with her? Can't she see through the shallow bitch that Aurora is?
The more I think about Aurora duping Cin, the more mad I get. I punch the empty air in front of me. I need to get out of the house, try to clear my head. Dad seemed like he was in what passed for a decent mood for him. I figure he'll let me drive the Spyder.
I head to Dad's office. His door is open, so I step inside. Dad looks up from his wide black desk, identical in every way to the one at his company office, except this one has a bottle of wine on it and a wine glass. He's holding a tablet in his hand.
"What is it, Grayson?" Dad asks.
"I'm taking the Spyder for a spin." I unhook the keys hanging from the office walls.
Dad beckons me inside. "I didn't mention it at dinner, but you did good with your boys. Richter was broken, I tell you, broken, to find out what happened to his woman. Fucked raw in every hole like a two-bit whore. Moaning the whole time." Dad grins. "Like I told you. Find out what hurts, then make them hurt. Extra hard."
I shrug. "They're a solid crew. They do good work."
"Oh, I know. I can see that."
Dad places the tablet on his desk and spins it around. I can't see it that clearly from this distance, but I still recognize the moving figures. It's the video. The one with the boys and Richter's wife.
Dad nods as he turns off the tablet. "You need reliable people, people you can trust. This new company I mentioned—they were trying to poach my best men. But not a single one left the company. You know why?"
"Because they respect you."
Dad laughs. "That they do, but that's not what keeps them in line. They know me. They know what I'd do if they turned traitor. You have to be the hardest motherfucker in the business. It's the only thing that works. Trust me, Grayson."
He's right, mostly. I think there's more to controlling people than pounding them into the ground.
"Aren't they easier to manage with some good cop, bad cop? Like Aurora. You'd have her eating out of your hand if you were just a little nicer once in a while."
I'm not sure why that last bit pops out. I guess even if I can't stand Aurora most of the time, it's hard to watch how Dad treats her and not have some pity. And while she gets all needy once in a w
hile, like with the whole Cin thing, usually she’s better than all the other whimpering bitches begging me for something. Not trying to be annoying counts for something.
Dad's scowl makes it clear what he thinks of my suggestion. "No, that girl's getting what she deserves. Nothing less."
He looks past my shoulder. I turn but no one's there.
"Shut the door," Dad says. "You're a man now. You should hear this."
I close the door and wait, curiously, for what he has on his mind. Likely something about Aurora, or even Trisha.
"I'm not above admitting my faults. Tell me, Grayson. What is my biggest mistake? I want to hear it from my own son."
I pause but not for long. There's one obvious answer. "Trisha. You married her." It's not an accusation. I've buried any regrets about my mother when she died. Dad's the only family I have left.
Dad leans back and pinches the bridge of nose with a mild grimace. "Trisha was an intern when we met. I was...inexperienced. When she got pregnant, I wasn't ready to do what had to be done. It's why I want to make sure you grow up right. Why I spend time giving you these lessons."
He looks off to the right, his brows furrowed. "My career was in a delicate place. Your mother was off with one of her flings. I decided to marry Trisha. When I found out that Aurora wasn't mine, she threatened me." His face darkens. "Can you believe it? That bitch."
"What’d she do?" I ask.
I already knew that Aurora wasn't related by blood, but the rest is news. I'm starting to understand, even approve of the way Dad treats Trisha.
"Blackmail. She was going to say I raped her." Dad's holds up his hand to cut me off when I try to reply. "It was stupid, so stupid. Back then, things were different. I was different. Something like that could destroy you."
"Today, I could kill someone and get away with it." He says that a bit too casually, as if it's not a hypothetical. "It's a different world, but it cuts both ways. It's harder to hurt others." He glances down at the tablet. "You have to make it personal, up close and messy, to get the job done these days."
From the harshness in his voice, I know that he's not talking about the lawyer Richter anymore. "What are you going to do?" I ask.
Dad glances at the closed door. His voice goes even lower. "When Aurora turns eighteen, things become simpler. I can leave Trisha, then ruin them both."
"She won't leave without a fight, will she? She'll take her half." I frown. In the end, Trisha still wins. "Is that worth the price? Even if it means you don't have to see her again?"
Dad smiles. "Grayson, Grayson. You have so much to learn. I'm not going to hand Trisha divorce papers and walk away. I'm going to destroy them thoroughly. Both of them."
So, he wants to string it out and make them suffer. Is that what I plan for Cin? Is that why I keep going back to her? I'm not sure. Given the chance, someone like Cin could become my Trisha, too, couldn't she? Better to destroy her, then, and make sure that never happens.
As for Aurora, I might have had a shred of pity for her, but I’m not so sure anymore. She's just like her mother, Trisha, always scheming and trying to dig herself deeper in my things, into Dad's things. What Dad just told me puts things in a different light. They'll both get what they deserve.
14
Cin
“Now, your bartending virtuoso is going to offer Sex on the Beach, except it has grenadine instead of cranberry juice because we’re not senior citizens,” Aurora says, handing the tall pink glass to me.
I take a sip from it as she watches me. The vodka and orange juice fight for my tongue’s attention.
“It’s great,” I say because she seems to be waiting for a reaction.
She claps her hands, beaming. “Great! We might have a Sex on the Beach bitch, girls,” she says, turning to her friends.
The four of them are lounging on the Victorian furniture, a drink in everybody’s hand and a look of boredom on their faces. The five girls all live in one of the five villas used for housing the normal students. From what I can tell, half the students live exclusively on campus, and the other half go back and forth between staying here or going home. Everyone has a room, though. Its’ not like they can’t afford it.
The intricate architecture, the numerous bedrooms, and the massive living room is nothing like the place where us scholarship kids live. Just the furniture here must have cost more than most people’s houses. The kitchen counters and the dining room table are currently filled with different liquors and mixers.
“I still have my bet that she’s a screwdriver girl,” the dark-haired girl with the ear tattoo says—Layla, I think. “Sex on the Beach is for desperate girls who want everyone to know they’re a freak. Screwdrivers are for the more secretive girls. Still freaks, but undercover freaks.”
“Oh, I think she might start off secretive, but she’ll spill to her new besties,” Aurora says, plopping down next to me with her beer.
I only drank cheap beer at my previous high school, and I’d only done it a couple of times. After the first few shots with Aurora and her friends, I know I’m diving into unknown waters. It’s not too bad as long as I don’t go too far. I just have to make sure I don’t end up like my mother.
I watch Chelsea lean against Layla’s arm, bringing her phone up. They make faces at the phone. They must be making a video. Chelsea lowers the phone, and they burst into giggles.
I’d never had a close female friend. I’d been close friends with guys, but I’d only ever been casual friends with other girls. I could blame my distrust of girls on my mother, but maybe it’s just me. Guys find my emotional walls to be comforting, but girls find them suspicious.
Aurora is the first person to try to break through those walls.
Krystal pans her phone over the whole living room. Krystal and Ava wave at it. “How’s everybody doing tonight? Did we all have a great first few days of school?”
Everyone except me hollers an answer.
“So, Cinnamon.” Aurora strokes her hair, curling it over her shoulder. “It’s a new school year tradition that after we’ve all settled down with our drinks, we play truth or dare. And with this tradition, the newest member of our tribe has to start the game. So, lovely, truth or dare?”
“Dare,” I say. Some of the girls groan, but Aurora shrugs.
She taps her finger against her chin, contemplating.
“Alright,” she says. “Chug at least half of that drink. You have ten seconds.”
I tip the glass to my lips, letting it slide down in three quick sips. I check the level of the glass as the liquor simmers in my stomach. I take another quick sip to make it half-empty.
The truth-or-dares circle quickly through the group. Most of the girls choose truth, but Layla proudly completes her dare of doing shots of vodka and hot sauce. I choose dare again. Layla dares me to drink a screwdriver while taking apart the hinges of the door with a screwdriver.
After the door nearly crushes me, Aurora and Layla help me stumble back to the couch. I am immeasurably drunk. I am a giant mess.
“Continue your story, Cinnamon,” Layla prompts. “So, these scholarship girls didn’t care about meeting the scholarship boys at all?”
“No!” I say, much louder than I intended. I cover my mouth with my hand, but my hand quickly slides down. “I just…I just don’t understand it. I’ve never wanted anything as much as these girls want to land a rich boy. They’ve built their entire personalities around gold digging. Like if they came across a gun with diamond bullets, they’d shoot themselves to get the diamonds.”
“Wow,” Aurora giggles, collapsing deeper into the couch cushions as she laughs. “These girls sound insane. Like, they have no ambitions?”
“Oh, they have ambition, but their ambition is to replace some spoiled brat’s lotion and tissues.”
Several of Aurora’s friends have their phones out now, capturing our festivities. It’s almost a thrill now. Even if they’ll hate me tomorrow, they can’t say we didn’t bond for one time. It’s
memorialized forever.
We go through another round of truth or dare. This time, it’s Krystal’s turn to question me.
“Truth or dare, Cinnamon,” she says. “Let me guess: dare, like always. The queen of sass is afraid to tell the truth about herself.”
Normally, I wouldn’t take the bait, but I’m not sure I can drink any more liquor. My stomach is about to turn into a Molotov cocktail.
“Fine,” I say. “Truth.”
“Have you ever been in love?” Aurora interjects.
I look over at Krystal. She shrugs.
“Maybe,” I say. Despite a small part of my mind telling me to shut up, my mouth keeps moving. “There was this guy I started seeing my sophomore year. My mother didn’t like him. Thought he was worthless. Junior year, we were hanging out in his car because we didn’t have money to go anywhere. We just wanted to listen to this new album his friend made. But my mother called the police on us. The fucking police. I don’t know how she knew where we were. Maybe she saw the car. Maybe she was tracking my phone. The police found weed in his car. He was arrested and…he never talked to me again. He even left the school.”
“That’s cold,” Aurora murmurs.
I nod, a weight crushing down in my chest.
“At first, I thought he was embarrassed about smoking weed. He never told me he did, like he wanted to hide it. But that didn’t make sense. I wouldn’t have cared. Lots of people at school smoked.” I pause, swallowing as something bitter tries to come back up my throat. “It gets worse. A few months ago, my mother mentioned him again. She mentioned the weed, but I never told her what happened that night. She must have fucking planted it. And the reason he didn’t talk to me anymore was because…I did that to him, kind of. Because my mother didn’t like him, because he knew me—he was arrested. He has a record because of me.”