by L V Chase
“That never happened,” I say.
“Sure, sure,” Demi laughs. “That’s what I would say too if Grayson chose Diana over me. Diana’s a level-ten clinger, so you must be a suction cup.”
Demi and Dahlia burst out laughing, loud enough that several people around us turn to look at them. When Grayson glances back, he sees me. His lips slightly part and his expression might almost be ashamed. But Diana touches his arm and any sign of regret vanishes.
“After all,” Mr. Rover says more loudly, “if you don’t move along with the changing climate, you’re putting your whole future at risk.”
I take a deep breath. I focus on the assembly. I stare straight ahead until all I can see is my empty future.
37
Grayson
She clings to my arm as I drive, giggling, whispering into my ear. I try to focus on the road, but a hand touches my thigh and reaches further upward.
She sounds wrong. She smells wrong. She touches wrong.
I push Diana back into her seat. My forearm brushes against her tits, and she wiggles them for me.
"Not while I'm driving," I hiss, a little too coldly. I pat her knee. "Don't worry, we're almost there."
I pull up to my home, and Diana's squealing like a five-year-old at her birthday party.
"Oh my god, this place is so...big!" Diana shrieks as she falls onto me, grabbing my arm again.
I throw her off me, annoyed, but she doesn't notice. She's too busy craning her neck upward to take in the full height of the building. Her eyes dart over to the garage, but the door's closed, and I don't feel like having her see the cars inside.
"Come on," I say. "I'll show you my room."
"Oh, I can't wait." Diana crawls over to get out from my driver side instead of using her own door.
She laughs as she half-stumbles out of the floor. I want to bitch at her for stepping on the inside of my car with her heels, but I hold myself back. I make the mistake of helping her up, because she thinks I'm trying to grope her. She reaches for my face and starts grinding her crotch against my legs. I push her away.
Fuck, it's taking everything I can to not pick her up and dump her onto the side of the road, but I smooth the anger out of my face while my back is turned. I can do this.
I don't get it. When I'm pissed at Cin, I can't hold back at all. But this bitch, Diana, annoys me a thousand times more, yet I take it all in stride. There's something fucked up about that.
"Here." I take Diana's hand and lead her to the front door.
"Is anyone else here?" Diana giggles. "Does your mom care if you bring girls home?"
My hand clenches involuntarily, but I stop myself before I crush the bones in Diana's fingers. I jerk her forward, ignoring her. It doesn't matter, because as soon as we step inside, Diana's making stupid noises again while she admires the damn furniture.
When we're inside my room, the first thing she does is leap backwards onto my bed. She's wearing a short skirt, and the skirt flies upward, flashing her lacey black panties. She doesn't notice or care as she rolls once along my bed.
Diana stops rolling and spreads her arms wide. "I love this bed." She taps the spot next to her. "Look, there's even room for you." She laughs.
I walk across the room and sit down in the chair in front of my desk and computer.
"Can't you be more..." I struggle with what to say. Be more like Cin, I mean to say, but I don't know how to put that into words.
Diana flips over and gets onto her hands and knees. She purrs and licks her lips. "Be more what, babe?"
I frown. "Can you be more…fierce?” That's not right. “Can you fight?"
Diana tilts her head in curiosity. "You like it rough?"
"Nevermind." What would Brady do? How the fuck am I supposed to get Diana ready? "If I asked you to kneel and let me deepthroat you until you puked, what would you do?"
Diana leans her head back. Her mouth opens wide. "Is this what you want?"
"Damn it, no."
I get up and move to the side of the bed. I take Diana by the throat. Confusion swirls in her blue eyes, then she smiles.
"Use me, Grayson, baby," she says. "Any way you want."
"Can't you...act like you don't like it?" I ask.
Diana smirks. "Oh, you mean struggle play? Oh, Grayson, please don't make me. Please." Her voice is extra high and whining. It's fake as fuck.
I push her away from me, and she laughs as she falls on her side.
"What if I made you hurt?" I ask quietly, my stomach twisting at the dark thoughts of what Brady might do. "What if make you scream and beg for me to stop? You'll just take that?"
Diana's eyes open wide. I think I'm finally making progress, but she starts nodding eagerly.
"I'd do anything for you. Anything."
Christ, this bitch has something wrong with her. She's sick, as sick as Brady in her own fucked up way. They deserve each other, except what Brady wants is to destroy someone. You can't destroy someone who's got nothing in the first place.
He'd want someone like Cin. Strong, able to take a shitload of crap, like what I've been putting her through. She can take it all and dish it right back. That's what Brady would want, to take someone like Cin and push hard enough to snap her.
I've been quiet for a minute, thinking. Diana makes an uncertain sound.
"So, are we going to...?" Diana lets the question hang.
No, fucking hell no. What I would give to switch Diana and Cin right now, to show Cin what I want to do, to have her say the things to me that Diana’s saying.
I close my eyes, ready to give up, when the front doorbell rings.
Eric. I called him earlier, telling him to stop by my place.
I stick my head out of my room. "The door's unlocked," I yell.
There's the sound of a door opening and closing, heavy footsteps down the hallway, up the stair, and Eric rounds the corner.
"Who's that?" Diana calls out from the bedroom.
Eric grins. "You not alone? Should I come back later?"
"No, no." I motion for him to join me inside my room.
Eric steps inside, then takes in Diana lounging on my bed, the skirt riding high on her thighs.
"What've you got?" Eric asks.
I hate what Dad's asking me to do, and I hate it even more because one misstep by Cin could land her in this mess as well. She doesn't know what Dad's like. Dad will take what he wants, make what he wants happen. He's also an asshole, and he already suspects something between us. If I don't make him happy with this job, Dad will go after Cin. I know it.
"Her." I say, pointing with a flick of my eyes. "She's yours."
"What?" Diana asks.
"Get out," I say to her. "Wait outside by the cars."
"But—" she begins.
"Get out!" I yell.
Diana knows better than to argue with me, which is the whole reason I can't use her in place of Cin. She gets up and runs out of the room. Her heels clack as she leaves the house.
"Something going on?" Eric says, looking confused.
"Yeah, I got something for you."
I hesitate. I know how far Eric will go if I'm not there to stop him. I'd feel bad for Diana, but this is the shit she lives for, isn't it?
"That bitch, Diana," I say. "Take her. Do what you want with her."
"Didn't I say I'm not you fuck boy?" Eric says with an amused expression. "Why her?"
"I need someone to test her before...I need her for another gig."
Eric's not completely stupid, even if he acts like it at times. "This for you Dad? Company shit?"
I shrug. "I'm not asking you to fuck her. I'm asking you to do your worst. Everything you want. Anything you couldn't do before. I'm saying, do it. See how she stands up to it. Everything. Get my drift?"
Eric holds my gaze for a moment. I'm not sure if he's going to refuse, but he breaks into a wide grin. "That sounds fun. Just to be clear. No limits?"
I nod. "I'll back you up on this." I nearly grim
ace. “So will my dad.”
He knows what I mean. I'll keep him out of trouble if shit goes really wild. He's got my family's protection.
"I need her usable afterwards," I add quickly when Eric's eyes take on a crazed glint. "Don't forget. I still need her afterwards."
"Of course," Eric says with a smile.
I force myself to nod again.
Fuck, what am I doing? This is for Cin. I'm doing this for her, and Diana seems like she’s game for something darker anyways. But what would Cin think? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that Cin stays with me and no one, not Brady, not Dad, not Eric, nobody. As long as she's safe in my arms, I'll burn the whole fucking world down.
38
Cin
I haven’t seen Grayson for nearly a week, but I still can’t escape him. This dorm room is polluted with memories.
The hitch of his breath. His rough fingertips against my abdomen. The scent of sex. The intense sensation of belonging.
I should trade in some meals for new sheets. Or get rid of the bed altogether. I’ll sell blood plasma for a hammock.
I yank the top half of my blankets off as the door jerks open.
I lurch backward, prepared to be barraged with condoms or for a family of skunks to be tossed inside. Instead, it’s Diana who trips into the room. She manages to keep her grip on her vodka bottle, but as she plunges down to her knees, she drops her cell phone. It bounces once, landing near my feet. The screen is shattered.
Diana uses her nightstand to steady herself as she stands up. She uses the bottle cap to try to fix her disheveled hair. She fails miserably and only shakes her hair out more.
“Hey, Diana,” I say.
“It turns out that if you bash your phone against a railing, it keeps working,” she slurs.
“Why would you do that?”
“Because.” She throws her arms in the air. “The texts are constant! Who lives like this! Jesus Christ!”
“I don’t think Jesus Christ lived like that,” I mutter.
She unscrews the vodka bottle, tossing the cap on her bed. She takes a sip from it, oblivious to everything.
She’s become a social princess at Roman Academy. The god of this school has blessed her with his presence, possibly his dick as well. She’s part of the popular inner circle, matching their aesthetic with new designer clothes she couldn’t possibly afford on her own. They lavish her with attention. Even when Grayson overheard the DDDD girls—DDD now—referring to Diana as a whore, calling her Discount Diana, he turned the school against them. It was glorious, but he never considered it worth his time to do the same for me.
But all of that glory must not be as good as the loss of her friends because she’s a couple of shots away from vomiting her royal stomach’s contents.
Diana staggers to her bed, barely sitting on the edge of it. She brings the vodka up to her mouth, but she misses by half an inch. She corrects her aim and takes a swig. She starts twisting some hair strands near her temple, where her hair is more sparse than usual.
“So, it’s been awhile since you’ve been back,” I mention. “It looks like you’re really enjoying yourself.”
Diana glances up at me, her eyes wide, as if she forgot I was here. After a second, her expression hardens and her lip curls up.
“Are you jealous, Cinnamon?” she asks, her head lolling to the side. “Do you wish the popular kids wanted to sit with you? Do you wish that people were texting you all of the time? Do you wish Aurora still wanted to be your friend?”
“No,” I say. “I just think it’s nice that you’ve found a group that you have fun with. They all seem to like you quite a lot.”
She snorts. “Please. God. The only reason they pay so much attention is to keep an eye on me.”
“Why would they need to keep an eye on you?” I ask.
Her face freezes. She slowly lowers her gaze to her vodka bottle and sets it down near the single-serve coffee machine.
“Nothing. I’m just drunk,” she says. “I’m going to go. I just came here to get my history book. I think. I have to see someone.”
She snatches her history book from the alcove before stumbling to the door.
I stare at the door long after she’s slammed it shut. What the fuck is Grayson doing to her?
The moonlight reflects off the lake’s surface by the willow tree. It should feel romantic, but all I can think about is how the moon exerts power over the tide. It’s less about love and more about the moon controlling the sea without giving a single shit.
When I hear the rustle of footsteps in the grass, I raise my head.
Grayson.
“What’s the emergency?” he asks, annoyed. His eyes scan the area, his shoulders tense.
“What’s going on with Diana? What did you do to her?”
He focuses on me again, his eyes narrowing. “What do you mean? What do you think I did to her?”
I pull up the Peer Review website on my phone. The latest update glows on the screen.
DIANA RIDING THE AIRWAVES. After a week of absence, the question to Diana’s missing status has been answered—Diana has been given a special opportunity to work for Voss News Network. It appears that the perks of being connected to the elite doesn’t end on campus.
He snatches my phone out of my hand. “Yes, I got Diana a job. Are you mad about it? Are you angry that you’re not working for my father? Lawrence Voss, the Broker of Breaking News? Is that what you wanted?”
I dig my thumbnail into the palm of my hand.
“She’s a high school student,” I say. “It’s the middle of the school year. Is this some kind of cover-up you got for your girlfriend? Is she in rehab? I just need to know she’s okay.”
“She’s not my girlfriend,” he says.
“I’m sure that’s news to her,” I say. “Maybe your father should put it on his evening news program.”
“I can’t believe this is what you messaged me about,” he hisses, tossing my phone back to me. “I thought someone had hurt you.”
“And you came running here, so you could join in on the fun?” I challenge. “Everyone knows that Grayson Voss loves to twist the knife. It’s just not satisfying enough to slam it in.”
He grabs my jaw, his thumb jabbing under my chin. “Are we still talking about knives? Because when I was fucking you, you sure seemed to enjoy it.”
I try to pull my face out of his grasp, but his fingertips behind my jaw dig in deeper.
“Let me go,” I say, venom in every word.
“Make me.”
His lips crush against my lips, forcing my mouth open. He nips at my bottom lip before biting it harder. My heart ricochets in my chest. He kisses me deeper. His hand on my jaw tightens. His other hand grips onto the back of my neck, pulling me taut against him. Our breathing is sharp, hurried, constantly cut off by our mouths colliding.
I shove him away, running my hand over my mouth as I stumble back into the metal table.
“Fuck you,” I mumble. “You’re a goddamn sociopath.”
“I get it, I really do. You and your mother? You’re used to working for love, then losing it, right? So you can’t imagine anything better.” He runs his thumb over his lower lip, wiping away the lip balm that came off my lips. “Look, I know about Damian White. He left because he was terrified of your mother. He wasn’t worth it in the first place.”
I narrow my eyes. “Do not talk about Damian in front of me. He was twice the man you could ever dream to be.”
“I don’t dream of being anyone else.” Grayson runs his hands over his face. “Just get back to your life, Cin. Focus on graduation and get out of here. You’re going to be something. You’re going to have a thriving future. You should know that.”
“I don’t know anything. I thought I knew you, and I was wrong.”
He abruptly pulls his phone out of his pocket, raising it between us.
“Smile,” he says.
I flip him off. The flash goes off. He slides
it back into his pocket.
I gesture to his pocket. “What—"
“True,” he interrupts. “You didn’t know me that well. You still don’t. And that’s for the best.”
When he walks away, it feels like cold air fills my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I take deep breaths. I try to cling to my anger like it’s a lifesaver in a sea of roiling emotions.
I was lying when I told myself I only messaged him to find out about Diana. I wanted to see his face when he talked about her. I wanted to look him in the eye and say, at least I stayed.
He was wrong. I’m not used to losing love. It’s barbaric every time.
When the sun rises over campus, the way the light filters through the distant skyscrapers and the taller trees creates a duality of radiance and shadows. If I painted the scene, it would look like I’d been painting during two different times of day.
When I step into the dining hall, my eyes adjust to the fluorescent lights. I pass by a group of girls sneering at me, getting in line to get a breakfast sandwich. I should consider getting breakfast at one of the other places, but if Grayson noticed my abrupt change in routine, the humiliation of letting him win would be far worse than having to hear his voice or catch a glimpse of him.
A loud bang nearly makes everyone drop to the floor.
“No! No!”
Everyone turns to look over at Grayson’s table. A blonde girl, her hair in ringlets, has jumped out of her chair. The chair, fallen over, must be what caused the bang.
The girl looks around frantically but doesn’t seem to notice that everyone’s staring back at her.
It’s Diana. She’s back.
And she’s snapped.
“Shut up!” she screams, flinging out her arms and nearly hitting one of the girls with pink streaks in her hair. One of the boys near Diana tries to pull her back down, but she yanks her arm out of his grasp. “Just shut up! Jesus Christ, you’re all so fucking fake!”