Kenny was in a mood; they were becoming a tad bit ridiculous for my liking. My best friend was becoming unpredictable. “I don’t fucking know, Tuck. She didn’t feel like coming! Why you up my ass about it?”
Music was thumpin’, and kids were rowdy in the background as I told myself, Think. Don’t react. Think. Don’t beat the fucker’s ass. Think. After a series of deep inhalations and memories of a lecturing V, I growled, “Because Lilah is always with you, dipshit. I thought you would have the answers to her whereabouts.” Then I left the party to avoid bloodying up my brother and set out to find my sister.
Sitting quietly on our covered back porch was where I found her. Her cell, sitting next to her on the outside pillow, read 4 missed calls. Bro.
It was a traditional country-style, wooden back porch because that was how our last one was—the one my mama always sat and enjoyed the sunrises and sunsets on, except the new porch was much bigger. The sun had already set long ago, so there was nothing to see. No patio lights on either, and that confused me because Lilah had a closed book in her lap. I didn’t understand how she could see but figured she wanted it that way. I sat in the chair next to her. “What’s up, Sis?”
She stared into the darkness behind our house and simply shook her head.
“You okay?”
Lilah inhaled deeply, which had become a common action for her. “Oh, just a little tired.”
“You don’t seem happy, Lilah.”
She was so deep in thought she didn’t even glance at me. “I don’t?”
Hoping changing the tone of my voice would get her attention, I whispered, “No.” It worked. Delilah looked at me, and I saw hurt. Pain, doubt, and dark circles haunted her eyes. “Talk to your big brother… please?”
Sitting with this distant Delilah, I experienced incredible worry for her well-being. But instead of making her world better, I was blinded by fear. My building anxiety blocked me from understanding what I was truly seeing.
She took another deep breath… then she weakly smiled. “Are you happy? I make you happy, right?”
“Very.” I meant that. She never did wrong. Not one bad grade, not one call from a school or teacher. Me treating her like an injured bird all her life was what was wrong. Constantly protecting Lilah had somehow taught her not to fight. “You are my light, Lilah. You are my sun.”
“I love you, Tucker.” Delilah was telling me so much more than my youth was able to decipher.
“I love you, too.”
A tear fell from her sad eyes. “She would be proud, you know.”
My eyes welled. “You think so?”
“Yes, my brother. You have grown to be a wise young man, and you’re my best friend. I’m thankful for how you take such good care of me… I know our mother sees, Tuck. I know she sees.” As she returned her stare into the darkness, she whispered, “I hope she sees me, too.”
After that night, my Lilah became secluded, but I failed to see the continual change in my sister. I failed to see the connection her change had with Kenny.
I failed to see my sister retreating from communicating with me.
I failed to listen to a friend who had tried long before to warn me and kept warning me while it was happening.
“I’m shocked you allow them to be together,” Viola told me as we sat on Diesel’s huge black leather couch.
“I don’t exactly have a say, Viola.” I muted the TV. “She’s a big girl and can date who she chooses.” A quiet moment passed. “Can I ask why you don’t like Kenny?”
V never denied my words. She didn’t like Kenny. “It’s creepy how he treats your sister at times, like she’s his possession instead of his girlfriend.”
“And at other times?”
She looked at the hands in her lap, overlapping her fingers. “Like he adores the ground she walks on.” I raised a brow. She unlaced her fingers and put her hands up in surrender. “Okay. Okay. I’m done insulting your boy. Maybe I’m nuts.”
If I hadn’t loved Viola so much, I might have lost my patience the day she rushed into my classroom, ranting and raving about my closest buddy. Her eyes were teary as she pleaded with the teacher to let me speak to her privately outside in the hall. When she got an approving nod, I was dragged out the door. “I just heard that last period your boy dragged Delilah from class and left the premises.”
“What? Why?” I was in disbelief and thinking V was over examining again.
Viola’s face was practically experiencing spasms. “I don’t know, but I need you to find out.”
“V, breathe. I don’t think Kenny would hurt her—”
“Tucker! This is not the time to follow my advice and think! It is the time to react! Kenny tried to fight Cole this morning because he asked if Delilah was okay. Loose cannon! React! React!”
Viola said to react. So I did. My blood shot through the roof as I stormed out the school’s back door and out to the parking lot to my car. Neither Kenny nor Lilah were answering their cells, so I was headed home, thinking that was where he would take her. All the way there, my temper began to take over more and more. A part of me didn’t want to think Kenny was capable of hurting Lilah, but Viola was so upset, and I instinctively trusted her.
When I saw Lilah’s red Camaro in the driveway, I burst through the front door. I heard a noise in the laundry room and stormed in that direction. Not taking the time to think why Kenny had skipped school to wash clothes, I charged at him and was about to beat his ass until he explained what happened.
It was a shocker for Viola to be wrong, but Kenny was not lying to me; my heart told me so. I left my home with my tail between my legs, embarrassed that I hadn’t had faith in my best friend.
While grabbing a bite to eat at McDonald’s, because I had now missed lunch at school, I texted V. She didn’t reply. Instead my cell rang. I answered, “Hey—”
“Delilah okay?” V sounded worried.
“Yeah, Delilah is on her period and had—”
V yelled so loud she almost blew my eardrum through my peanut brain and out my other ear. “She’s not on her period! I would know ‘cause we’re on the same cycle!”
I winced at that TMI. Gross.
“And even though it may sound like it, I’m not fuckin’ raggin’! I’m almost at your house, you baboon, and will take care of it my goddamn self!” She hung up on me.
What’s with Jaz, V, and baboons?
I grumbled, “Damn, that bitch is crazy,” as I threw away my lunch, my appetite having been squashed with thoughts of tampons dancing in my head, and headed back to my house to save Kenny’s life. But when I got home, nothing was what I expected. My mind was trying to catch up as I followed a solemn young man to my sister’s car.
“I’m just confused with who I am,” said Kenny, opening the driver’s-side door.
We always shared our vehicles, so watching him get behind the wheel of Delilah’s birthday gift was an everyday event, but it felt wrong that fateful day. Kenny and Delilah were over, and my brother looked to be knocking on death’s door. He was distracted even though the sun was still in the sky.
“Maybe you two can work it out. And if not, you’re not lost without her. Come on, man, you’re scaring me here.”
He handed me Diesel’s crystal motorcycle from Lilah’s rearview mirror. I stared at it in my palm, the sun shining through it, showing rainbow colors. I stopped wondering why I was holding it when Kenny said, “I don’t know why she looks so sad. Do you think I hurt her?”
“What?” Still not knowing what had transpired, I was lost somewhere between beating Kenny’s ass and giving him a much-needed hug. I even told him that before he drove away.
Feeling even worse than the first time I saw Kenny that day, I dragged my sorry ass back inside. Viola was standing at the top of the stairs, waiting for me. I held up the string with the motorcycle dangling from it.
V stared at it. “Do you think we can find him?”
I shook my head. “Not if he doesn’t want to be
found.”
A part of me didn’t want to find him. A part of me didn’t want to feel more excruciating pain. I’d been there and done that with my mom.
“Maybe he is just taking time to think?” Viola probably didn’t want more pain either.
“Yeah. That’s probably it.”
We were lying to each other and ourselves. She could read my body language and knew I was beaten inside. The mature side of her was beaming as she opened her arms. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.” Her eyes and nose looked red as if she’d been crying.
My feet dragged me up the stairs ’cause I was really wanting her embrace. And then I felt her arms come around me, easing some pain. I melted to her. “V, what’s going on?”
She gently rubbed my head, which rested on her shoulder. “You were right, and… hormones can cause, well… an ugly breakup.”
I hugged her tighter. “I’m not a fool?”
She leaned her head back to see my face. “No, you’re not.”
I sensed that she was stalling me. “I need to see my sister.”
Her palm rested on my cheek. Wise eyes searched mine. “You need a moment to pull yourself back together. Can you make us some hot tea first? It will help her.” She rubbed her stomach, hinting at cramps.
We continued the lies. I nodded before handing her the motorcycle. We both stared at it, hanging from her finger between us. Viola was so eerily calm. The whole house felt still.
Slowly, I went back down the stairs to the kitchen. I pulled out two mugs and numbly started the burner under the kettle. I felt as though I was in a dream state, like an outer part of my body could sense what was to come as I kept thinking of the crystal motorcycle. I placed a tea bag in each cup, waiting for the water to boil. I was still staring at the words on the mugs, “Daytona Beach, Florida,” when the kettle’s whistle began to blow. Lilah had bought them on a vacation. I wondered if Kenny, Lilah, and I would ever go there, together, again.
With hot tea in hand, I entered my sister’s bedroom to see V sitting next to Lilah at the bay window, the crystal now hanging there. Nobody said anything as I handed out toasty mugs and knelt in front of my sister. I saw V’s cell phone on the floor, broken, and pointed. “What happened?”
Viola looked at Lilah then her phone on the floor. “It pissed me off.”
With the state of mind that female had been in, the shattered technology didn’t exactly surprise me. I rested my upper body in Delilah’s lap. I felt exhausted. “Lilah… tell me you’re okay…” Viola’s hand softly rubbed my back. “Tell me I didn’t miss something huge, that I haven’t failed you. I came here, but Kenny said that you were fine and in the shower.” Her hand stilled. I froze.
Delilah’s voice was sad and incredibly gentle. “You were here?”
Oh, Jesus. What did I miss?
I peered up at her face and nodded. “Yes, I was here. Was I wrong to leave?”
A broken smile mixed with tearful emotions crossed her beautiful face. She kissed my forehead. “No, you weren’t wrong, and I’m okay. Just having my first heartbreak.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure, my brother.”
Viola’s hand started rubbing my back again.
Relief rushed through my heart—that was, until V whispered, “It’s time we talk about Jenny.”
Unnerved by Kenny’s actions, and wanting to know more of his past, Viola had done some research. “Remember the name Kenny mentioned at the hotdog stand?”
I searched my memory bank. “Yeah, uh, was it Jenny?”
Lilah sounded spooked. “Jenny?”
I asked my sister, “Do you know her?”
She hauntingly glanced away. “No.”
V told us about an old newspaper article she had found online about Kenny’s sister—one we never even knew existed. Lilah whispered her name again, “Jenny,” and began crying, refusing to share what had upset her.
I called and called Kenny’s cell. Kenny never answered that phone again. As the sun went down, Neither V, Lilah, nor I moved. We just sat quietly, staring at the motorcycle. Once it got dark, we still didn’t turn on a lamp or make any attempt to function, waiting for our lives to change forever. The three of us, without saying a word, knew it was coming. We were wise beyond our years. Losing loved ones had made us that way, and we knew someone had left this home in a dire state.
I barely recalled hearing a Harley on our dirt road, the scout trying to locate us.
I hardly heard Diesel’s truck pull up our driveway. With his sister not answering her broken phone, Diesel had put his connections to use and hunted us down. Flicking a switch, lighting Lilah’s bedroom, he cautiously asked, “Why are you guys sitting in the dark?” Receiving no answer, he snapped, “What the fuck is going on?”
Diesel took over after we explained the day’s details to him. He pulled his keys from his pocket. “Okay, everyone in my truck. We’ll go search for him.”
We loaded into Diesel’s crew cab and searched till we found what would be known as hell. Diesel’s cell rang. “Talk… where? Can you help—shit… no, leave. I’m almost there. I’ll call.”
We heard no words, only gasps, as we drove up to the smoke on the side of the road. Delilah’s shiny new birthday car was wrapped around a huge oak tree. With how mangled the vehicle’s metal was, I knew no one could have survived. Nor could anyone survive the car being engulfed in soaring flames.
Delilah’s eyes were closed in the backseat as she kept saying, “No. No. No. No…”
Diesel was already calling 9-1-1 before his truck came to a stop. Adrenaline was running through my veins like a tsunami consuming the whole fucking earth. Truck doors opened, and our feet rushed us toward the burning car. I hit my knees, feeling the heat of the fire that I was sure was consuming my brother. Tears streamed from my eyes as I tried to breathe through pure terror.
Completely overwhelmed, I couldn’t hold on to a simple thought until my sister let out a scream I would never forget. Never had I heard such a wail of true agony as her scream ripped from the pit of her soul, splintering her in two.
Diesel rushed to her and held her as she lost her mind. I watched it. I witnessed her disintegrate… into a shattered being.
Chapter Twenty-One
Through the years, I’d always felt close to our childhood friends, but after Kenny’s death, I felt an unbreakable bond with them. The whole school was experiencing his loss but not at our level. Viola, Cole, Hu, Bryce, Jaz, Delilah, and I huddled together, trying to shield each other from the storm of doubts that no one but Nash and Nelson could understand. We chose not to share what we had discovered about Kenny and let people believe what they’d always believed. Kenny had been a young and wild soul that most people had envied.
His closest friends and my father had so many questions.
“When did he start doing drugs?”
“Did you see him doing any?”
“Did Kenny commit suicide?”
“Was his accident caused by the overdose?”
“Was there more we could have done?”
“Lilah, why won’t you talk to me?”
Guilt is a powerful fucking emotion. I should’ve got in my car and chased him! I almost told my dad the truth about Lilah and Kenny being boyfriend and girlfriend because I was afraid the lie would eat us all alive. Delilah and Viola were especially consumed by it. Whatever had transpired before I got home that god-awful day had made the two girls eerily closer than before. Some sort of unseen common bond linked them, and I could only watch as an outsider. It was making me crazy… but the shame about not telling my father the truth in the first place kept the lie from dying.
Viola quietly sneaked out of Lilah’s bedroom one night. She wasn’t quiet enough. It was three in the morning, and I was lying in bed wide awake, torturing myself with doubt over my actions. I kept thinking if I had forced him to stay, I could’ve saved his life. My heart picked up speed. I’ll make her talk to me. After she used the restroom, I co
rnered her in the dark hallway, against the wall, my hands resting behind her head. My body and arms prevented a retreat, and V was all mine.
“Talk to me.”
Her eyes were haunted. “I can’t.”
Having my two closest girls closing me out was pissing me off. I needed Lilah to turn to her big brother like she used to, and I needed V to be a part of my world again. I needed my sister to tame the animal in me the way she always could. I needed Viola to soothe me, keep me from being majorly off kilter. So, desperate for what she could give me, I growled, “Touch me.”
Viola’s arms went around my ribs so quickly it scared me. I let go of the wall and wrapped her up, expecting the peace I always felt in her arms, but I felt her trembling instead. I whispered so my dad wouldn’t hear me. “V, you’re shaking. Fucking let me in.”
The shadowed, silent hallway was the only witness to our struggle. Having her so close and so upset was destroying my already tortured insides. Now I was desperate to ease her pain, and somehow, that made me desperate to kiss her. She whispered into my chest, “Forgive me, Tucker.”
My hand slid up her back to grab hold of the nape of her neck, tilting her face back to mine. “Forgive you for what?” I stared at her lips, fighting the urge of the ages. There was an electrical charge circling us, creating a storm that almost destroyed us.
Her mouth opened as she began to pant. I wanted her to let me into that wet mouth almost as much as I wanted to get to the bottom of whatever she and Lilah were hiding.
V said nothing.
“Do you know how easy it would be, right now, to force you to cheat on Bryce? To take advantage of this moment?”
She nodded as best she could with the hold I had on her nape.
“I’m only human, V.”
Another restricted nod.
“If I push enough, you’d follow me down that rabbit hole, wouldn’t you?”
“Yes,” she grunted in a primal tone, ampin’ up my unbelievable yearning.
My hand slid to her hair, fingers deeply intertwining so she couldn’t stop the kiss I was about to violently lay on her. My mouth slowly descended. She watched every agonizing second, not pulling away; she was letting me force her. I had only one more question, and it was a very important one. “Will you ever forgive me for this?”
Steal Me (Haunted Roads Book 1) Page 23