I stretched a hand out to Aurelia. "We're leaving."
She hesitated. "Why are you acting so strange?"
"Take my hand, Aurelia."
She did, and I pulled her closer to me, putting one arm around her waist to ensure she would stay with me as we left. I drew in her scent and tried to keep my focus on Radulf and where we needed to go.
"Get us out," Radulf mumbled.
"I will get out," the Mistress growled at me. "And when I do, I will find you."
"Hush!" I said.
Aurelia started to protest that she hadn't said anything, but I only shook my head at her. Then I closed my eyes and pictured Radulf's atrium. Despite the darkness in here, it was morning in Rome. A beautiful, warm autumn morning.
Disappearing from one place to another felt like squeezing oneself into a vise to be small enough to vanish. As hard as that was with one person, or even two, now I was trying to squeeze three of us into the same space. All while continuing to heal Radulf and keeping the Mistress out of my head.
The last sound in my head before we disappeared was the Mistress again. "You will kneel to me."
If she said anything more, it became lost in the journey from the cave. Finally, there was something about disappearing that I didn't hate. I just hoped we'd end up somewhere far enough away that her voice couldn't reach me.
When Aurelia and I arrived in the atrium, we fell apart from each other, both of us reeling from the pressure of being squeezed so close. I immediately rolled back to my knees to check on Radulf. His entire body was shaking, as if his soul was still catching up from the body's disappearance.
I pressed both hands onto his chest, sending him all the magic I could until the shaking stopped. He was breathing more easily than before, but there wasn't much life left in him.
"Mother, I heard noises --" Livia rushed into the atrium and stopped when she saw the three of us on the ground.
"Your grandfather needs to be in his bed." Aurelia was crouched beside me, balancing Radulf's limp head in her hands. "Help us carry him there."
I could have done it alone, but what strength I still had was needed elsewhere. We stood to lift Radulf, then heard someone else behind us.
"You did it." The flat tone of my mother's voice revealed her conflicted feelings. Obviously, she would be happy that I had returned, as well as Aurelia. But she was hardly bursting with joy to see Radulf with us.
"We need your help," I said.
After a heavy sigh, my mother got beside Livia to carry Radulf's feet, while Aurelia balanced his head and shoulders. I went in the middle, keeping both hands under Radulf as we walked, to take the bulk of his weight.
Radulf's bed was as fine as any place an emperor might have to sleep, and even lying on the soft mattress seemed to make him rest more comfortably. I sat beside him, continuing to work on healing his many injuries, while Aurelia dimmed the candlelight in the room and covered his windows. Livia soon left, telling us she would speak to the servants in Radulf's home about protecting the place from any Praetors.
And my mother stood beside me, her arms folded in disapproval. "You're wet," she said. "And your tunic is burned."
I smiled up at her. "It would've been more burned if I hadn't been all wet."
"And this is a good thing?"
"If I come back, then I think it's a very good thing."
She didn't even pretend to enjoy the joke. "You think because you made it back that now our problems are over? That you escaped the wrath of the Praetors, or that dragon? Have you escaped the wrath of Rome itself?"
My smile fell. "I know this isn't over, Mother. But I'm getting stronger, and smarter about how I fight them. I can win this."
She knelt on the floor beside me. "You can't win. That's what I'm trying to tell you. The price for using magic is high. Every wave of your hand, every time you disappear, and whatever else you can do that I haven't yet seen, there is a price for all of it! Your father understood that -- it's why he didn't use his magic in Gaul, even when he could have. Once he did, you know how it ended. That was the price he had to pay."
"I won't make the same mistakes."
Mother took one of my hands and held it in her own. "You are too reckless with magic, like your grandfather. Since you first received the Divine Star, how many times has magic almost cost you your life?"
I lowered my eyes, hoping she hadn't already seen the answer in them. I couldn't count the number of times, even if I wanted to.
She ran her fingers over the Malice on my forearm, tracing the outline of the wolf carved into the silver. "Please, Nic, destroy this Malice, and the bulla around your neck. Or they will destroy you."
Radulf suddenly arched his back and began coughing violently. I pulled my hand away from my mother's and pressed him back down to his bed.
"I need you both to leave," I said. "Please, just let me concentrate on him."
"Your father died because of a single mistake, and with magic far less powerful." Mother rose to her feet. "Even if you think you can succeed, for my sake and Livia's -- make the right choice. Destroy that Malice."
I heard her, but turned away to focus on Radulf. Or maybe I turned so that I didn't have to acknowledge that my mother might be right.
"Let's go." Aurelia held out a hand to my mother, who left without another word. After a moment, Aurelia followed, shutting the door behind them.
Free of any distractions, I used the Divine Star to find the injuries inside Radulf's body and heal them one by one. The Mistress had been thorough, and cruel. If he was still alive after all this time, it was only because she had wanted that. Without magic, he never would've made it.
And now his magic was completely gone. I knew that, because I could feel its absence. I could restore the little life he had left, but nothing in my power would return what had been stolen from him.
I reached one hand over his shoulder and pressed against his Divine Star. Mine always sparked in the presence of magic, and I hoped his would do the same, as proof of even a small remnant of his powers. But nothing was there, and it might never return. At least he was alive. Without magic, I doubted he'd care that he had survived. He'd say I had failed him. And in some ways, he'd be right.
By evening, I was leaning against a wall to rest when Radulf finally stirred. He angled his head to see me and mumbled, "Ten days. What took you so long to come?"
"I was stuck."
He harrumphed, then said, "You must have the Malice, or else I wouldn't be here."
I walked closer to him and, when his eyes opened, showed him the amulet wrapped around my arm.
"It's so much more beautiful than the false one ever was." A faint smile crossed his lips. "You should've seen the Mistress's fury when she realized what I had was fake. She --" Now the smile disappeared. "Well, she was displeased."
"What did she do to you ... ?" I had almost ended that sentence with "Grandfather."
"You healed me," he said. "You must have some idea."
I did, and it was awful. She would have shown him cruelty that knew no limits, a depth of torture that had been intended for me before he tricked her. "The Mistress is trapped beneath Lake Nemi," I said. "In Caesar's cave, where the bulla was found."
"Sooner or later, she'll find a way out." Radulf swallowed hard, and I offered him a drink. After he accepted it, he lay back down and mumbled, "She wants the Malice, but she needs you to make it work. She'll do whatever it takes to force you to make a Jupiter Stone."
I glanced back at the doorway, half expecting to see my mother in its frame, reminding me of the price of using magic. She wasn't there, but her warning still echoed in my ears.
The stone that I'd hidden in the oak tree was missing, and I was becoming increasingly sure that the Mistress must have it, locked in a claw as she searched for an escape from Caesar's cave. All the more reason to never set her free.
"I won't help her," I said.
He continued as if he hadn't heard me. "The Mistress knows you can call in a storm. She'll convin
ce you to make one, all the while claiming that you're protected by the bulla and the Malice. It'll be a lie, Nic. When it's over, she'll have the stone -- the power of Jupiter himself. You won't survive it."
"I won't make the stone," I said. "No matter what she says or does."
"She believes there's a way to make you do it. She told me that herself." He motioned for more water, which I gave to him. After a long rest, he said, "I was wrong all this time. I was arrogant and believed magic made me invincible. My greed prevented me from seeing things clearly. Forgive me."
"Magic is not good or bad, sir. It's only what we do with it."
"And what is done to us. What will be done to you before this war is over." With a faltering hand, he reached out and touched the Malice on my forearm. "You must destroy this amulet. It won't break the Mistress's curse, but it will set you free. It's the only way to save yourself."
"If the curse isn't broken, the dragon remains. What she'll do to Rome --"
"Is not our problem." He drew in a slow, pained breath. "Nic, trust me. Destroy that Malice, or things will grow worse for all of us."
"I don't know how to do it."
"Promise me that you will find a way. And that you will never quit trying until you succeed."
I stared at him a moment. Could I give him my word when I didn't know how to make it happen, or whether it even could be done? But his eyes begged me to answer him, with even greater desperation than his words had. Finally, I said, "If it is possible, then I will find a way."
One corner of his mouth upturned, just a little. More important, he finally seemed to be at rest. "Enough now. Leave me to sleep. Those of us without magic take longer to heal."
I heard the sadness in his voice as he spoke, and left him with my heart so heavy I was surprised I could walk away.
Equally surprising was to find Aurelia outside Radulf's room. She was seated on the floor, resting against the wall, and might've even been asleep before she heard me come out. When I did, she jumped to her feet.
"How long have you been out here?" I glanced around us. We were alone.
Her eyes flicked to the bedroom, telling me she had been out here for as long as I had been in there with Radulf.
"You look exhausted," she said. "Everyone else has already eaten their dinner, but I'm sure you're hungry too."
I shrugged. "I just want to be alone. Maybe I'll take a walk through the gardens."
As I started out the door, Aurelia said, "I want to be alone too. Do you think you and I could be alone together?"
My heart skipped a beat, and I looked around us again, not sure of whether I wanted this moment to be interrupted. "That's not a good idea."
She sighed. "I'm going to come with you, Nic. It's only a question of whether I'll walk beside you or behind you. I warn you, though, if I must follow, then I'm going to throw rocks at the back of your head."
"Well, we can't have that." I smiled, then motioned for her to come with me. "Let's go be alone together."
Since his home was built on old military lands, Radulf had a lot of space to himself. Some soldiers still trained nearby, though, and they were loyal to their general. There was little risk of Praetors attempting to sneak back here. If they came -- no, when they came -- they would come like proper guests, or never get past the soldiers.
So the Praetors weren't my biggest worry as I walked back here with Aurelia. I wasn't even worried at all, not really. I only felt the dread of knowing she and I had serious matters to discuss, and that I probably wouldn't like the outcome of our conversation.
"While you were in with Radulf, Crispus sent a message to me," she began. "Is it true that he's with the Praetors? He's one of them?"
"He did what he had to do," I said. "They gave him no choice."
She spoke more loudly. "There's always a choice!"
"If there was, he would've done it."
"He should've refused them."
"He tried that."
She was becoming angrier. "He didn't try hard enough! What was so important to him that it was worth what he did?"
I stopped walking to face her. "You are that important! Aurelia, he did it to protect you from the Mistress."
"Oh."
We continued on in silence for several minutes, most of which I spent wishing I'd just told her to go ahead and throw rocks at my head. That would've been simpler.
We were deeper into Radulf's gardens when she said, "We're only friends, Nic."
Was she saying that about her and Crispus? It had been several minutes since his name had come up. Or did she mean that she and I were only friends?
I started to ask, but stopped when I heard a sound behind us. The swelling magic within me calmed when I saw a large stag in a clump of cypress trees at the edge of Radulf's property. There were deer in many places around Rome, though they weren't often seen in the city and rarely had I ever seen a stag as grand as this one. His antlers came to a dozen points and were worn like a crown upon his head.
"It's beautiful," Aurelia whispered.
I glanced over at her, and then quickly lowered my eyes when she caught me staring. When I looked for the stag again, he had vanished from my sight. At least he had been a good distraction.
When Aurelia and I continued walking, our conversation took a turn, one that made it a little easier for me to breathe. "You were wet because you pulled the Mistress into Lake Nemi, yes?"
"She's sealed up in the same cave where I first found the bulla."
"The dragon or the human?"
I shrugged. "Both, I suppose. There's no difference between them."
"There's every difference! I know how terrified I'd be if you'd left me alone in that much darkness!"
"And if I release her, then I release the dragon! What Crispus has done will protect you, but no one else in Rome."
"Of course." Aurelia pursed her lips. "I know you heard Atroxia crying when she was in the temple on Crispus's land."
"Only when I got close enough. She began crying again after I left her in Caesar's cave."
"Could you hear her from the edge of the lake?" Aurelia paused a moment, and almost seemed hesitant to ask the next question. "Right before we left Diana's temple, could you hear her then?"
"I hear her right now. She's stronger than before." I pressed a hand against my forehead. "Sometimes it's Atroxia; sometimes it's the Mistress. I think she shifts from one form to the other, trying to figure out which is more likely to get her released."
"The Mistress threatens you, yes?" Aurelia asked. "What about Atroxia?"
"She begs me to help her."
"Only you can help me," Atroxia whispered just then. "Please, Nic."
Aurelia stopped walking when I did. "Help her? How?"
It was my turn to shrug. "I think the Mistress uses Atroxia to trick me. I can't trust or believe the things she says."
"What if it's real? What if Atroxia is asking you to break the curse so that she can just go back to being a vestalis again?"
I sighed. "Even if that were true, I can't break the curse." I didn't know how to do that, just as I didn't know how to destroy the amulets or how to win the Praetor War. I didn't even know how to properly talk to Aurelia right now. Just thinking of everything I didn't know compared to the few unimportant things I did suddenly made me very tired, enough that I had to lean against a nearby brick wall.
She pulled my hand from my forehead and held it between both of hers. "Nic, are you well?"
"I was awake all night, then spent most of my strength on Radulf today. Nothing more."
"That's not it. I see the way everyone pulls at you, telling you what to do. I'm one of those people, so I know it's happening. We only do it because we care about you and about how this all ends, and we only say what we think is right. But I know it's weighing on you." Her brows furrowed, and she stepped in closer to me. "How can I help?"
I knew what didn't help, and that was having her so close. Didn't she know that her very presence changed the beat
of my heart, the rhythm of my breath? If not for the wall behind me, I would've backed away.
No, I wouldn't have backed away. The wall was only an excuse. I wanted to be here with her, more than anything. But I also wanted her here without a promise to Crispus or a threat from the Mistress standing between us.
I continued staring at her and saw a stray lock of hair that had fallen free of its braid. I took it and gently folded it behind her ear, letting my hand linger there longer than it should have. I leaned even closer toward her.
"Nic?"
That was Crispus's voice. Aurelia and I backed away from each other and must've stood there looking immensely stupid when Crispus found us. His eyes roamed from her to me.
"I've just arrived," he finally said. "How is Radulf?"
"He'll live." Simple as the words were, I felt guilty for saying them because I had not been able to save Crispus's father, who hadn't been nearly as injured as Radulf.
Crispus accepted my answer without judgment. He only pointed to his Praetor armband. "We should talk about this."
"If you touch Nic, will he lose his magic?" Aurelia's question had a bitter edge to it. Any Praetor's touch would empty me of my powers.
Crispus shrugged. "I think so, especially if that was my intention for touching him. But I'm not here for that reason. I'll never do that. I'm still the person I was this morning."
"Are you?" Aurelia put her hands on her waist. "This morning, had you pledged loyalty to the man who wants to destroy Nic's life?"
The sting of her words registered on Crispus's face. He said, "While you were in the tunnels with Radulf, Praetors were there too, Aurelia, ready to kill you both. What I did saved both our lives, and maybe Nic's as well! And I spent today learning from that man about his plans for Nic. I can warn him now."
I didn't like the tone of his voice. "Warn me about what?"
"They're not finished with Radulf. They know he's lost his magic, so for the first time since he came to Rome, he's vulnerable. After they get him, they'll come for you."
Of course they would. Crispus shouldn't have needed a day with Brutus to figure that out.
"I can defend myself," I said. "The Malice will ensure that." I hadn't yet decided whether to destroy it, as Radulf and my mother both wanted. The gods had given me this magic, including the key to find the Malice.
But was that their gift to me? Or their curse? Maybe I was just as cursed as Atroxia and didn't know it.
Wrath of the Storm Page 5