And at the time of leaving her maiden home, the doli (palanquin) ceremony, she throws the rice back into the house, to suggest that she is released from the debt she owes her parents. As she is a roop of Lakshmi, she always gives rice (wealth) whether entering or departing.
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Women in the Ramayana
We’ve heard detailed stories about some women in the Ramayana but not about all of them. Let’s talk about them chapter-wise. To begin with, the Baalkand.
Mothers play an important role in the Baalkand. Dashratha has three wives—Kaushalya, Kaikeyi and Sumitra. Not much is said about these women. Kaushalya hailed from Kosala, which was divided into two parts. One side was ruled by Dashratha, and the other by Kaushalya’s brother. To maintain peace, Kaushalya was married off to Dashratha.
There is an interesting story about Kaikeyi. She was from the kingdom of Kaikey, which is now in Pakistan. The horses of this land were famous, hence her father was called Ashwapati—the keeper of horses, where ashwa is horse. He knew the language of animals. However, he had been told that he would die if he shared that knowledge with anyone.
Once, when he is sitting in the garden with his wife (Kaikeyi’s mother), he overhears a conversation between two swans (hansa) and laughs. His wife asks him what he heard, and he says he cannot tell her. Unthinkingly, his wife says, ‘If you love me, you’ll tell me.’ The king wonders what kind of a wife does not care about her husband’s life. He abandons her. So Kaikeyi grows up without a mother. Manthara raises her.
When Rama was being taught by Vishwamitra, did he meet any women?
Women play an important role during Rama’s education by Vasishtha and Vishwamitra. When Rama goes into the forest, he engages with women at different levels. One is violent—he kills a rakshasi called Tadaka. Thus, the very first battle he wins is against a woman. And the other is kindness—the very first person he protects is also a woman, named Ahilya. He kills one woman, and saves another. He is taught that a king has to be ruthless sometimes. When he hesitates to kill a woman, he is told not to look at the gender but at her actions. With Ahilya, he must repair her wrong, which may’ve been an accident—something which only a king can do. Rama learns about the two extreme aspects of a king—violent and kind.
We haven’t heard much about Lakshmana’s wife, Urmila.
The four wives of the four brothers were—Sita, Urmila, Shrutakirti and Mandavi, all King Janaka’s daughters. Urmila’s stories are found in loka kathas. One story is about how Lakshmana is approached by Nidradevi (sleep) when he is in the forest with Rama. He tells Nidradevi that he cannot sleep because he has to serve Rama day and night. Instead, she should go to his wife, Urmila, and ask her to take his exhaustion and his sleep. Urmila accepts. As a result, she sleeps during the day for her husband and at night for herself. Almost like Sleeping Beauty, she sleeps for fourteen years. And Lakshmana never gets tired. In this way, both husband and wife serve Rama and Sita.
When Rama is in the forest, does he meet other women?
Here too women play an important role. It is said that when Sita is preparing to go to the forest, she starts wearing clothes appropriate for the forest—the clothes made of bark that the wives of rishis wore. The women of the palace object. Sita is a kulvadhu, bride of the clan, and cannot dress like a sanyasin, or someone who has renounced worldly life. She should dress like a bride, otherwise there will be a negative influence, a bad omen, and it will bring bad luck into the home. So Sita goes like a princess to the forest although it’s depicted otherwise in pictures. In those times, it was believed that the ‘ghar ki Lakshmi’, the devi of the house, should always be well dressed and made-up, and look happy, otherwise it’d be bad luck for the household.
In the jungle, when Rama, Sita and Lakshmana go to Rishi Atri’s ashram, they meet his wife, Anusuya. She too advises Sita about shringara, and gives her a garment which will never get dirty. Through the fourteen years that Sita is in the forest, her clothes are always clean and beautiful.
The other famous encounter Rama has is with Surpanakha. She is a woman of the forest and wants to have relations with Rama, who refuses. Then Lakshmana also turns her down, and cuts off her nose. It’s a very violent episode.
There are many loka kathas about Surpanakha as well, especially in the south Indian tradition. One talks of her husband, Vidyutjeev. There’s an argument between him and her brother, Ravana, during which Vidyutjeev, who has a big tongue and mouth, gobbles Ravana up. Ravana then asks Surpanakha to pull him out of her husband’s stomach. Surpanakha knows that if she does so, she will lose her husband. Ravana promises to make her son the uttaradhikari, the heir to the throne, if she saves him. So Surpanakha pulls her brother out, and her husband dies. Later, Ravana forgets his promise and makes his son, Meghnad, the heir. Surpanakha is roaming around in the forest, distrustful of all men. Here, Lakshmana accidentally kills her son. Surpanakha goes looking for her son’s killer and comes upon Rama. Seeing his beauty and grace, she falls in love with him, and forgets all her brother’s wrongdoings and the murder of her son. You find many such stories in loka kathas.
This story about Lakshmana cutting off Surpanakha’s nose is a very violent one; there’s also Tadaka’s story.
There are stories in the Ramayana about violence against women. Surpanakha’s story is significant. She is sexually aroused, wants to have relations with these handsome men; she is a rakshasi and has no understanding of marriage, fidelity, etc. She is simply following her desires. To stop her, rather than just push her away, they cut off her nose. After this incident, Rama’s life is invaded by misfortune and sorrow. Sita is abducted, there’s a war; even after they return to Ayodhya, he has to give up Sita. Rama and Sita’s relationship breaks down. This incident is a turning point. This is to show karma. You may feel you have done a good deed but every action bears a fruit.
When Sita goes to Lanka, does she meet women there?
Yes, Sita meets many rakshasis in the Ashoka Vatika (garden) where Ravana keeps her. There’s Ravana’s favourite queen, Mandodari, and Vibhishana’s wife (in some stories, daughter) Trijata, with whom Sita becomes good friends. Trijata is the positive influence on her. Other women push her to marry Ravana, wondering why any woman would resist a great ruler like him. There’s of course Surpanakha too who keeps pestering her.
What was Sita’s relationship with Mandodari like? I’ve heard she used to help Sita and keep asking Ravana to send her back to Rama.
In Lanka, there were many characters who would tell Ravana that keeping Sita against her will was not right. But Ravana would remain adamant. He would say he was avenging his sister’s (Surpanakha’s) insult, but actually it was to appease his ego and sexual desire. So there was a lot of tension in his household.
In one of the loka kathas, Sita is Mandodari’s daughter. This version has become quite popular now. According to this story, a rishi predicts that Mandodari’s daughter will become the reason for Ravana’s death—his nemesis. So Mandodari throws her infant daughter into the ocean. This child is given by the ocean to Bhudevi, who lets Janaka find her. This child grows up to become Sita.
Are there any important women Rama meets in Kishkinda?
Yes, this is after Sita’s abduction when he wanders the land, looking for her. On the way, he meets Vedavati, who is doing tap because she wants to marry Vishnu. She recognizes Rama as Vishnu’s avatar and asks to marry him. He tells her he cannot marry her in this birth, but that in another yuga, in another birth, he will. It is believed that as Vaishnodevi, she waits to marry Vishnu.
There’s also Shabari’s story—Shabari feeds Rama ber.
When he finally reaches the monkey kingdom (vanara desh), Kishkinda, he finds that Vali has forcibly captured Sugriva’s wife, Ruma. Vali’s own wife is Tara. These are the two significant women in this part of the tale. When Vali is killed, Tara marries Sugriva and becomes his favourite queen. In some stories, Tara curses Rama, saying that since he killed her husband, he will suffer the loss of his
wife—a second time. That he will die of patni-viyog (separation from wife), which does come true later.
In the Sundarkand, when Hanuman goes to Lanka, he meets women. Tell us about them.
In the story of Hanuman’s adventures, women are very important. First, he meets a yogini called Swayamprabha in a cave. She gives him food and offers him the bounties of the cave. She asks him to stay back with her instead of going to Lanka in search of someone else’s wife. He refuses, saying he is bound by his duty towards Rama. Later, when he has to leap across the ocean to reach Lanka, all the obstacles in his path are in the form of women, like Surasa and Simhika. Simhika is a rakshasi who swallows him completely. Hanuman grows in size inside her stomach and bursts out. This is yet another instance of a woman being killed. In Lanka, he battles Lankini, who is the guardian or gramadevi (village goddess) of the land. Her defeat symbolizes the certain defeat of Lanka itself.
Normally, violence against women would be considered improper, but in the Ramayana, such stories occur repeatedly. One can speculate whether it signifies the killing vasna—lust, desire. After the advent of Buddhism, when vairagi (ascetic) religions started developing, women signified temptation. They would enchant and seduce rishis, who had to resist them. In stories, these got translated into violence against women.
Do they figure in stories of war?
There are no women on the battlefield, but when Meghnad is killed by Lakshmana, Meghnad’s head reaches Lanka. His wife, Sulochana, receives his head, while his body remains on the battlefield. The other rakshasas are scared to go back for the body. Sulochana goes to Ravana and declares that she herself will go to the battlefield to get the body. Ravana tries to stop her, saying it would be suicidal. She asks him why he let his son go when he knew it was suicidal. Ravana says it was Meghnad’s duty as the prince of Lanka, and it would have been shameful if he had fled the battlefield. Sulochana then goes to Rama and asks for her husband’s body to be given to her, as she wants to perform his last rites. Lakshmana says Meghnad had come there to kill them, so he should ideally make an example of Meghnad’s body to send a message to Lanka. Sulochana points out that her husband was no different from Rama himself, who too obeyed his father’s orders. Rama is convinced and agrees. He asks for her forgiveness and orders that Meghnad’s body be respectfully given to Sulochana. Rama says the woman had proved that rakshasas too have dharma and decency (sabhyata). Rama admires her dignity. She is called Sati Sulochana, that is, noble woman.
In Thailand, I heard a story about a golden mermaid in the Ramayana. Who is this creature?
The story of Suvarna Matsya, the golden mermaid, comes from the Ramayana of South East Asia. When the monkeys were building the Rama setu (bridge) for Rama to cross over to Lanka, she, as the princess of the ocean, would break the bridge because she was controlling the waters. Hanuman went to fight her. Suvarna Matsya fell in love with him and agreed to support the war and not break the bridge, which Ravana had been asking her to do. Unlike the Indian narratives, in their version, Hanuman is not a brahmachari, and marries her. They have a child, Makardhwaj. This story is found only in South East Asia.
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Uttara Ramayana
The Uttarkand is a part of the Ramayana, then why is it called Uttara Ramayana?
In our stories and plays, we always have a happy ending, called sukhant. The Ramayana does not have this, in particular the Uttarkand, which has a tragic ending. For many, the Ramayana ends when Rama is finally crowned king and establishes Ramarajya. They see the Uttara Ramayana as another poem.
We like to see Rama as god, who is always entirely positive and perfect. In the Uttarkand, it seems as though Rama is no longer perfect, and perhaps this is why people did not like it and began to consider this section not part of the Ramayana. Another reason is that Sanskrit scholars are of the opinion that the language of the Uttara Ramayana is different from the rest of the text. It is as though it was composed later and combined with Valmiki’s Ramayana.
In the Uttara Ramayana, Rama becomes king and Sita goes to the forest. Does she go on her own or is she asked to leave—what is the story here?
In Valmiki’s Ramayana, when Rama asks his spies to find out what people in the city are talking about, he learns that they are discussing Sita’s character. They’re gossiping about what might have happened in Lanka in the four months that Ravana had imprisoned Sita. Rama doesn’t like it. He feels the reputation of Raghukul is becoming tainted. So he tells Lakshmana to take Sita into the forest and leave her there. So it’s not vanavas; she is abandoned.
In the Krittivasi Ramayana, a dhobi’s wife goes to her mother’s house, but on her way back she has to take shelter in a boatman’s house for one night as the river is flooded. On her return, her husband refuses to accept her because she has stayed with a strange man. He says, ‘I am not Rama to accept a wife who has lived with a strange man for four months.’ It is interesting that this person is a dhobi who cleans clothes and removes stains. This is to suggest that the Raghukul has acquired a stain that even Rama cannot cleanse.
In a third version, the women of the palace—the queens, servants, playmates—ask Sita whether she’d seen Ravana. Sita says she did not even look at him. When they persist, she says she only saw his shadow in the water when he abducted her and took her away in his flying chariot (Pushpak Viman) over the sea. They ask her to draw the shadow. When she does, they feel that she’s drawing his shadow in his fond memory. There’s even a story called ‘Ravana Chhaya’. This reaches Rama who starts doubting Sita.
In another version, Surpanakha wants to avenge the death of her brother and the destruction of Lanka; she doesn’t want Rama and Sita to have a happy married life. So, she disguises herself and goes and starts gossiping in the streets of the city about Ravana and Sita. Then she asks Sita to draw Ravana’s shadow. Sita draws only the outline that she’d seen, which Surpanakha completes later and shows everyone saying, ‘Look what Sita does when she’s alone.’ This gives rise to suspicion in the palace.
In all these versions, at the end, Rama has Lakshmana abandon her in the forest to save Raghukul’s reputation.
Sita didn’t even know she was being abandoned?
No, she finds out only upon reaching the jungle. She is told not to return, not to tell anyone she is Rama’s wife, a kulvadhu of Raghukul. It is said that Rama did not tell her because whenever he had spoken to her about something she, being an intelligent woman, had argued back. Like she had done when Rama had not wanted her to join him in his vanavas; she made him reverse his decision by her sharp logic. We worship Raja Rama (the king), not Pati Rama (the husband). The important point here is that Rama does not remarry.
In the Ramayana, Rama has been shown to cry thrice—once when Sita is abducted by Ravana, the second time when Rama abandons her, and the third time when she goes back into the earth.
People say that because Rama treated his wife badly, even today women are not respected by men in India.
This is known as kutark, or misplaced logic. If our youth, our men, wished to emulate Rama so much, then they would be maryada purushottam like him; they would follow rules and have high morals. How many Indian men do so? There would be no corruption if they indeed followed Rama’s example. Rama was ekampatnivrata (monogamist); not all Indian men are. Indian men don’t seem to have adopted any qualities of Rama other than the negative.
This epic is not meant to be a parable, a story with a moral. Both the Ramayana and the Mahabharata are mythological tales, mahakavya (great poems), which are simply telling stories, not suggesting you become like the characters. But having heard these stories, you can reflect on what the characters went through, what their dharma sankats (moral dilemmas) were, what decisions they took and how.
Rama is conflicted about his role as a king and husband. Ultimately, he follows the cardinal rule of Raghukul that the king’s reputation is above all else; he may even have to sacrifice his personal happiness for it. He will not be respected by his people if he
is even slightly tainted. So as king, Rama has to leave Sita, his queen, which means he ends up losing his wife too. If he had remarried, the story would have been different. The Ramayana may not even have been written.
What’s the story of Luv and Kush’s birth?
When he abandons her, Rama does not know Sita is pregnant. One version of the story goes that Sita goes to Valmiki’s ashram and stays there where her two sons—Luv and Kush—are born.
Another version says that only one child—Luv—is born. One day Sita leaves the toddler in Valmiki’s care in the ashram and goes to the river to bathe. Valmiki is distracted as he’s composing the Ramayana, and the boy vanishes. He goes looking for him and when he can’t find him, in a panic, he creates another child from the kusha grass, using a mantra. He names this child, who looks exactly like Luv, Kush. Sita returns, having found the wandering Luv, and sees his lookalike in Valmiki’s lap.
They live in the jungle where Sita teaches the children archery. As instructed, she has not told anyone that she is Rama’s wife. But she wants her children to hear good things about Rama. So Valmiki teaches them his poem, the Ramayana.
It’s said that Valmiki could not decide a title for the poem. His first idea was Ramayana—the story of Rama. Another was Pulatsya Vadham, that is, the destruction of the Pulatsya Vansh, to which Ravana belonged. Another was Sita Charitam (the story of Sita), because she’s an important character. Sita suggests that he call it the Ramayana because it is the longest story. She also wants to ensure that people think good things about Rama.
Devlok With Devdutt Pattanaik Page 17