"Got it," Oliver confirmed with a wink.
"Vinny, how about something on Senator James?" GQ asked.
"You got it Captain," Vinny replied with a warm smile.
"Okay, that leaves Kim Moon. Do you have something on Governor Freestone?"
"Affirmative," Kim Moon responded.
It was all systems go.
Chapter 10, The First Debate
Two days later, the boys were watching the first Republican debate from the comfort of their living room in Condo #7. There were eight Republicans standing on stage, all looking polished and well dressed but nervous. The bright camera lights showed the deep rivers of sweat pouring down some of the candidates faces.
Some patriotic music played and then Fox Witzer, the commentator and major anchor for CNNN, opened the debate by welcoming all of the participants and announcing that Jeb Tree would be starting off the event with a brief statement.
Jeb Tree walked onto center stage, the camera zooming in on his perfect mask of sorrow. No sweat to be seen here. Jeb looked cool and collected. He cleared his throat, and then he announced that a terrible thing had just happened in Dayton. He described the horrible loss of innocents, and then told the crowd and the audience at home, "Our children are not safe. You are not safe. Your family is not safe. I know it is hard to hear, but it is true. But, if you vote for me, I can make us all safe again." There was a round of applause from the audience.
"Thank you Mr. Tree," Fox Witzer said. "Next we have Donald Frump. Mr. Frump, what do you have to say?"
The boys had their eyes glued to the screen, ready to see how their candidate was going to perform. Oliver was hushing everyone, demanding silence for Mr. Frump.
Donald Frump took the stage, also looking cool and collected, although his hair piece could have used some work. There was a mixture of loud cheers and boos from the crowd. Donald waved his hands in the air for silence, and when the crowd had finally calmed down, he began, "I am so proud to be here among you fine and wonderful people. But I have some serious concerns about who you, the American public, want as your leader. I'm on stage with a bunch of crooks and clowns."
He pointed to his left, "Senator James. You have been in the senate for over twenty years. In your current campaign, do you tell people that your family fortune came from selling alcohol during the Prohibition? That's kind of like being a modern day drug dealer. Cocaine isn't legal, marijuana isn't legal at a federal level. If I made my fortune selling that stuff, I would be a criminal and I would be arrested and put in jail. Hundreds of people were killed so your grand daddy could send your papa to Harvard with his dirty drug money."
There was a ripple of shock that passed through the crowd, and then ooooohhhs and ahhhhhs.
Some of the boys were wishing they could get their hands on some reefer or blow, but Captain Quick did not like the boys using. He said it kept them off their game. Besides, it was one thing to run a super secret spy operation out of a black ops prison, it was another thing to try to smuggle or deal drugs on Skyros. At some point someone would slip, and they would arouse Captain Cain's suspicions. And it would be all over from there.
Frump continued his attack. "And Governor Freestone," he pointed to a man whose face was now coated in a thick sweat, "your grandpa was the Grand Dragon of the KKK down in Alabama. Now, I'm not trying to say that there is anything wrong with white people being proud of themselves, but the fact of the matter is that your own grand daddy made quite a name for himself lynching scores of black people. Is that something you advertise in your campaign bumper stickers?"
Another series of gasps, then ooooohhhs and ahhhhhs from the crowd.
Vinny was booing from his seat on the white couch in the living room of Condo #7, surprised to find himself actually getting so emotional over the show they had set up. He knew that Donald Frump and Jerry Pringer were probably not much better, white Americans still had a dismal view of the entire black population, and Pringer certainly depicted the lowest of the low, both white and black, on his show. Still, mentioning the KKK lynch mobs was sure to get any black man totally soured on Governor Freestone and on Frump's side.
Now he was moving on to the women to his right. "And you, Ms. Phallen, the things I could say about you. I'll stick to the less heavy stuff. You are a graduate of NYC University. And how did you pay for that wonderful education? Our research shows that you spent a lot of your college years in Harlem. A nice, beautiful white woman like you in Harlem for many many nights." Sarah Phallen was blushing a deep red. "Our research shows that your side job, the job that put you through college, involved a whole lot of fucking and sucking. Not that there's anything wrong with that," Frump winked.
The crowd ooooohhhed and ahhhhhed and made noises of disapproval. Someone shouted "Slut!" from the masses.
In the condo, the boys were giggling. Now this was the freakiness Pringer had been talking about. A white female presidential nominee with a past as a hooker for big black cocks in New York City. What would be next? The release of Phallen getting gang banged by ten big black thugs? It wouldn't surprise the boys at all, and in fact Oliver was already working on it. Rumor was just such a tape existed, but it was proving difficult to track down. Something like that would blow Phallen out of the water, in fact, it would probably destroy her life for good.
Fox Witzer interrupted at this point. "Now, now, we are all adults here Mr. Frump. I'm sure we can clean up our language a little bit."
Frump replies, "Sure, Fox. But you know, since we are all adults here, I don't see why I need to hide the facts. The American public is not stupid. Fucking and sucking is fucking and sucking. Right, Ms. Phallen?"
Another series of ooooohhhs and ahhhhhs and defamatory shouts aimed at Ms. Phallen, who ran off the stage in tears of embarrassment.
Maybe Oliver wouldn't need to track down the video after all. It looked like Phallen was going to take herself out of the race easier than they thought. Still, he thought for curiosities sake, he might just keep looking for her porno after all.
"And last, but surely not least, Senator Tree. We are still doing more research on you and your family, but one thing that is quite clear already is that war is a very, very good thing for the Trees. Over the last sixty years, your family businesses have made billions of dollars from war efforts. There are more debates to come, and I promise you, we will get to the bottom of your history. The people deserve the truth!"
Oooooohhhs and ahhhhhs and cheers and applause from the crowd. The crowd definitely wanted the truth, and they were certainly enjoying everything that they were hearing coming out of Mr. Frump's mouth.
The boys already had dirt on Jeb Tree thanks to his brother George, but they wanted to scare Jeb before they actually brought everything to light. They couldn't have Frump just come right out with some news about a fake terrorist group or a planned attack on a football stadium. That would be too much, too quick, and either Donald Frump would be assassinated or no one would believe him at all. No, they needed to hold onto the big information they had and scare the living daylights out of Jeb Tree through black mail and insinuation.
Now that he had finished his attacks on his fellow Republican candidates, it was time for Donald Frump to speak a little bit about his own political platform. The boys hushed down again to get ready to hear what Mr. Frump had to say.
Fox Witzer asked Mr. Frump, "the big question many people in this county have is about immigration. As President, how will you address this issue?"
Donald Frump replied, "It's very simple, Fox. What we do is set up drones all across the U.S. Mexican border. Drones equipped with missiles. Anytime there is movement across the border, we blast them. Anything moving gets killed. No questions asked. We have radar, we can do it. Anything coming in through the tunnels, we just drop a bomb down there and blow the fuck out of them. Destroy them all. No mercy. That will make those wetbacks think about crossing the border!"
The crowd oooooohhhed and ahhhhhed and there was a ripple of shock run th
rough them.
The boys themselves were a bit surprised and offended. They thought Frump was going to talk about building a wall, but now he was saying he was just going to blow them all up. It was a little extreme, even for Frump. Eduardo was looking more than a little bit pissed off, even though he was in on the game. Frump really had a way of getting under people's skin. That was a serious understatement.
"And what about the illegals already in this county?" Fox asked. "What do we do about them?"
Frump responded, "I will round them all up. If they are not legal, they get the death penalty. Killing them all will be good for the country. It will be good for both countries, actually. Mexico doesn't want them back! By weeding out this illegal population, we will create whole new business opportunities for many Americans. I don't even mean just Mexicans. Rag-heads, Ethiopians, Somalians, we will get them all. America for the Americans. We will have a cleansing!"
The crowd seemed dumbstruck. And then there was a resounding, loud applause. They approved.
The boys were shocked. Captain Quick turned off the television. No one could believe what had come out of Frump's mouth. It was worse than anything they had written. But what was even more awful was that the audience was eating it up. People loved the guy. They loved his crudeness, they loved his ideas, he had gotten a round of applause rather than being booed out of the stadium. It was unbelievable. How far the American people had fallen.
Chapter 11, The Day After
The next day, the boys were watching a report from the debate on CNNN. Fox Witzer was narrating, "What an amazing debate last night. I have never seen anything like that in the history of the United States. After powerful accusations from the dark horse, Donald Frump, this morning, Sara Phallen, Senator James, and Governor Freestone all announced that they were dropping out of the presidential running. This is not a surprise for some, as Phallen left the convention before even giving her speech. But many thought that James and Freestone would persevere in the face of Frump's accusations. Apparently, they hit a little too close to home. What is even more surprising is that the American people loved Donald Frump. He is now polling right behind Senator Jeb Tree. What will happen next? It surely is setting up to be an exciting election!"
"Frump is about to pass Jeb Tree in the polls," Quick said, "who would have believed it? He's some sort of genius, although I think evil genius would be the proper word."
Eduardo and Vinny had calmed down somewhat from their heated emotions of the night before, and they laughed and agreed.
"He sure is something," Vinny said, "it's almost like watching a Kardashian run for president. He's got so much clout, he can be as dumb as he wants and say anything he wants, and somehow Americans still see it as sexy. There's something about mindless drivel that just gets their hearts pumping in overtime."
"Now that would be good," Oliver laughed, "Kim Kardashian for President. We wouldn't even have to campaign, everyone would vote for her once they took one look at her big butt!"
"It's a lot easier for the celebrity rulers in your country, kid," Lester laughed. "They don't have to run for office. They got that blue blood and they can do whatever they want. Dress like a Nazi and yell down with the Jews, and no one even minds. They think its cute."
"Hey now, the royal family has got a LOT more class than the Kardashians!" Oliver the Brit said. He and Lester began to quarrel on this point for a while, and the rest of the boys got back to work.
Chapter 12, Leading the Pack
Later that day, they had another call with Mr. Jerry Pringer. When his face came on the screen, he was already beaming.
"Hello, boys!" Pringer boomer. "Good news, our boy Donald is almost caught up to Jeb Tree in the polls. He is all set up to win the nomination, boys! But, there is more work to be done. Donald is going on the road to give a series of speeches to special interest groups, and I need your help coming up with some good talking points. Do you think you can do that?"
Captain Quick told Jerry the boys were on it. "But, I have to tell you, Mr. Pringer. Unless there is something my boys aren't telling me, that speech at the debates was just a bit different from what we had prepared. A bit dirtier than the material we provided."
Jerry Pringer laughed like a maniac. "Why, that's the point, boys! You are feeding fuel to an already roaring fire. Things are going to get a little out of control. You can't get surprised every time it doesn't snap, crackle, and pop exactly the way you thought it would. That's part of the show, just relax and enjoy it!"
Feeling a bit like the butt of a bad joke, Captain Quick nodded. "I will get the boys on it. How many speeches do we need?"
PRinger informed them that he would need three speeches, as well as crowd situations, for an event at the NAACP, the Republican Latino Society, and the KKK. Everyone grimaced when they heard that last one, and Vinny being African American was gritting his teeth again. Maybe this whole thing was going to far, he was starting to think. He didn't want to be responsible for some innocent black man getting lynched at a Donald Frump rally.
"You got it," Captain Quick told Pringer, biting his tongue. Pringer ended the call.
"Alright, boys. You heard it. You may not like it, but you heard it. Now, Vinny, I want you and Oliver to work together on the NAACP speech. Eduardo and Kim Moon, you handle the Latino Society. Lester, that leaves you to work on the KKK speech."
"And what about you, Captain?" Lester asked.
"I've got more important stuff to do, Lester. Team Captain stuff. Now don't you bother me. Get off to work now," GQ said.
The boys groaned but followed orders.
Chapter 13, CNNN
It was days later. The boys had submitted their speech material to Jerry Pringer, but they had heard no response from him. They had kept their eyes glued on CNNN almost around the clock. They hardly had any need for their work stations, because they were so busy watching television. The upside of this was that they never had to put on an act when Captain Cain stopped by. Well, that wasn't true. They had to pretend that they knew nothing about George Tree's whereabouts, that they had no idea that Horus was a Tree family creation, and most importantly, they had to act completely shocked by everything that Donald Frump did.
"You boys must hate that Frump," Captain Cain had once told them. "I know none of the Republicans are easy on gays, but this guy is probably all set to blast you back to the Dark Ages! Your kind will be meeting at bath houses and truck stops. No more marriage, no way."
Actually, partly because of the boys, the gays had been one group that Frump had hardly even mentioned. But they all agreed with Cain, telling him surely Jeb Tree would be a better candidate than that foolish mop top Donald Frump. Captain Cain had walked away looking reassured and smug.
Today, Fox Witzer was reporting that the final debate between Jeb Tree and Donald Frump was that evening. But first, it was time to recap the politicians on the campaign trail, beginning with Donald Frump.
CNNN began flashing a mute amalgam of Frump campaign clips, and then Fox began to narrate. "First up, we have a video you will just have to see to believe. It is Donald Frump speaking to African American voters at the NAACP in Detroit. Brace yourselves. Here's the clip."
The television showed Frump standing confidently before a large room of black people. He cleared his throat, and then began his speech: "I am proud to say, I feel so at home here with the NAACP. Thank you for having me, my folks. Or may I say, my niggers. Like what your homies say. That feels more comfortable for me. After all, you say it to each other all the time and it is all over television, movies, and the radio. You are my people too, my niggers."
Captain Quick's face blanched as he watched, and he glared at Vinny.
"Now, I know that the Republican party has not done much for my niggers people in this country. But I am here to let you know that I am the new Republican party. And I am going to set you free. I promise you fried chicken in all of your people's homes. I know my niggers love some fried chicken. Let's not fight, Popeye
s, KFC, and Church's for everyone!"
There was a round of applause. Everyone did love fried chicken.
"Now, as for your daughters," Frump continued, "I have something for them too. I am going to legalize prostitution. Selling pussy should not be illegal, and this will keep many, many of your baby mamas out of prison. After all, since the dads aren't around, baby mamas are very important. Precious, even. Now, I wish I could say that I was going to legalize marijuana so all you schwag peddling baby daddy's could also be free, but let's face it. The hippies would hate me if I legalized the crap weed you sell, and I certainly won't be making crack legal any time soon. Besides, you men thrive in prison. Gives you a good excuse for not having a job and abandoning your kids!"
Before the boys could catch the audience reaction, CNNN had cut back to Fox Witzer, who was announcing the next clip. "Now we go to Donald Frump in Houston, Texas, addressing the Republican Latino Society.
"Welcome, welcome," Donald began, opening his arms in a wide gesture. "My fellow Latinos. I congratulate all of you for making it across the border. What a long trip that must have been for you and all your donkeys, loaded down with beans and tacos. And with ten kids, well, phew!" Donald wiped fake sweat from his brows, "That must have been HARD!"
The audience was silent and dumbstruck.
"Come on, we all know you Mexicans fuck like rabbits at the zoo," Donald Frump laughed furiously.
Captain Quick could hardly believe that his boys had written this vile smut.
Not to be outdone, Fox Witzer continued, "And if you haven't heard enough, here is Mr. Frump addressing the KKK in Birmingham, Alabama."
Donald Frump was on stage, but that was only clear from the overlay at the bottom of the television screen with his name on it. He was dressed in the white sheets of the Ku Klux Klan, announcing, "White people unite! Let's hear it."
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