“I don’t know how to explain to him being gone two nights in a row. He’s already going to ask what friend I stayed with last night.”
“What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really have friends.”
Hillary leaned up at that and stared down at her with a look of confusion.
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You can borrow some of mine. They can be jerks sometimes, but they’re pretty great, too.” Hillary smiled and kissed her. “You don’t have to stay tonight.” The woman kissed her once more. “I get the dad thing. I would like to ask you something, though.”
“Okay...” Amara held her breath.
“Neither of us is seeing anyone else, right?”
“Oh, no. You know that,” she answered immediately.
“Be my girlfriend, Amara. I want you. I want this.” Hillary motioned with a finger between them. “I love this,” she added. “I’ve wanted you this whole time. I almost wish I would have been smart enough to talk to you sooner, but I think this is what was supposed to happen. I still had some baggage I needed to deal with.”
“And I needed to get to a place where I could say who I really am out loud,” Amara shared.
“You are amazing.” Hillary kissed her once more. “And I want to be your girlfriend.”
“What about the rest of it?”
“The rest of what?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell my dad yet.”
“Babe, you can tell your dad whatever you want right now. I understand.”
“And I live in his backyard.”
“Amara, I don’t care where you live. If you’re not ready for me to stay over, then we can stay here. You can tell your dad you’re staying with a friend in the city sometimes because it’s closer to work or campus.”
“I don’t like lying to him.”
“I know.” Hillary pressed her lips to her forehead. “You have to figure out what’s right for you, though. I can’t do that for you. I can be here, though. I can be here whenever you want to talk about it. I can be here as a shoulder to cry on, someone to laugh with, and everything in between.”
“You’d be my girlfriend?” Amara lifted an eyebrow.
“Never thought you’d have one of those, did you?” Hillary chuckled at her.
“No, I didn’t.” Amara laughed back. “But I do now. It feels pretty great.” She smiled.
CHAPTER 20
Hillary stood in front of her class of fifteen graduate students and delivered a relatively decent lecture. She was sure it was at least adequate. Beyond that, it was kind of difficult to tell anything, because she’d been staring at her new girlfriend for the majority of the class. Amara had taken a seat in the back. She’d even borrowed one of Hillary’s notebooks, and her pen had been moving throughout the session. She’d, apparently, felt the need to take notes. Hillary could barely focus on the few questions her students asked because Amara had a strand of hair continually falling into her eyes. She’d brush it back, and Hillary’s eyes would be drawn to her fingers, recalling how those same fingers had felt nestled between her thighs only hours earlier.
The students filed out at the end of the class. A few of them remained behind to ask questions about their upcoming papers. One needed a couple of extra minutes of her time to discuss an upcoming internship with Planned Parenthood. Hillary had suggested her for the project. They spoke until the girl left. Amara and Hillary remained in the small classroom. Amara was still sitting at the desk all the way in the back, and Hillary leaned against the front of the desk, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I have an hour before my next one,” she explained. “I have a couple of things I need to do in my office, which is down the hall.” She pointed out the open door. “Join me?”
Amara stood with a smile and approached Hillary. Hillary noted the look of happiness in her eyes. The woman held out both of her hands for Hillary to take, then seemed to think better of it, and retracted them, keeping them at her sides instead. Her smile faltered as she stood a few feet in front of Hillary.
“Sorry.”
“For what?” Hillary reached her own hands out. “It’s fine. Come here.”
“You’re working. I shouldn’t.”
“Amara, come here.” She laughed.
The woman took her hands after a moment of hesitation. Hillary pulled her closer.
“I still have a lot to get used to,” Amara replied.
“Let’s go to my office. Do you want to order in something for a late lunch? There are vending machines if you just want a snack.”
“I’m okay. That breakfast was pretty large.”
“And late.” Hillary smiled at her before she leaned in and offered a gentle kiss.
They’d fallen back to sleep and woken around nine, but they hadn’t eaten breakfast right away. They’d spent another hour in bed, learning the touches that elicited the sounds they both craved from the other. They’d showered together after that. Amara seemed to enjoy shower sex; particularly, the part with Hillary on her knees in front of her. Then, and only then, had Hillary made them a rather large breakfast complete with protein and many, many necessary carbs to restore their strength. They’d enjoyed their quiet time together, lying in bed after that and talking while they ever so slowly removed their clothes once again. It wasn’t until after one in the afternoon that they’d finally stopped touching one another, because Hillary had to get ready for work.
They walked to Hillary’s office. Hillary tossed her bag on the floor beside her desk, having already removed her laptop for class and carrying it under her arm. She placed it on her desk but kept it closed. She turned to see Amara standing in the doorway.
“Babe, come in.” She laughed lightly.
“It’s just that the last time I was here, I was a student in your class.”
Amara entered the room looking slightly unconfident.
“What’s wrong?”
“It wasn’t that long ago really, but I feel like a completely different person,” she explained.
“Oh.” Hillary approached, closed the door behind Amara, and pulled her inside by the hand. “Is that good or bad?”
“It’s good,” the woman answered quickly. She placed her hands on Hillary’s hips. “Do you ever feel like you’re in the moment when something major has just changed? That’s what I feel like right now. Sometimes, you can look back at the moment in time, think about a change that occurred, and remember the feelings that went along with it. Other times, it’s like you’re right there, living it. I feel like I’m in it now.”
“In it?” Hillary wrapped her arms around Amara’s neck.
“Yeah, like something very important is happening to me, and I need to really be here. I need to pay attention.”
“Are you okay with everything?” Hillary asked.
“Yes,” Amara replied with a smile.
“Also, are you ever going to tell me about all those fantasies?” Hillary wiggled her eyebrows and offered a smirk.
“You remembered that, huh?”
“I did.” She laughed and pulled Amara in tighter. “You don’t really have to tell me.”
“It’s just embarrassing. Most of my life… or lack thereof, is embarrassing.”
“You don’t have to be embarrassed by anything. I’m kind of totally into you, in case you haven’t noticed. I won’t laugh at you. Besides, I want to know everything about you. I have embarrassing stories I can share, too.”
“Oh yeah?” Amara’s eyebrow lifted and she tightened her grip on Hillary’s hips. “If you start, I’m sure I’ll feel more comfortable telling you mine.”
“I bet.” Hillary chuckled.
There was a knock at the door. Amara pulled back quickly. Hillary pulled away, too, but not as fast.
“Come in.”
“Dr. Robins, blue books from today,” her teaching assistant said, entered, and passed Hillary the stack of tests she’d have to grade later.
The TA merely nodded at her, then at Amara, and headed back out, closing the door.
“Tests to grade?” Amara asked.
Hillary tossed the stack onto her desk, turned back to her girlfriend, and replied, “Not right now.”
She reached for Amara’s hand and pulled her toward herself. She motioned for Amara to sit in one of the chairs in front of the desk, moved to the door, locked it, and returned. She stood in front of Amara, who looked up at her confused. Hillary said nothing. She merely knelt on the floor in front of her girlfriend, placed her hands on Amara’s thighs, and parted them.
“Hillary,” Amara exclaimed in a whisper.
“I’ve been thinking about doing this for over an hour.”
“We can’t. This is your office,” Amara said but made no move to stop Hillary’s wandering hands.
“If you want me to stop, just say so.” Hillary kissed the inside of the woman’s thigh. “And thank you so much for wearing this skirt.”
She lifted the light gray fabric of Amara’s pleated skirt higher, until it bunched at the top of her thighs. She kissed the pale skin on offer, now that the article of clothing was out of her way. Amara’s breath caught when she slid her tongue along the inside of her thigh.
“Are you sure we should…”
Hillary’s tongue grazed Amara’s center once, and then again. The woman nearly jumped out of the chair, but Hillary held her in place. She reached for the waistband of her panties and pulled until she had them at Amara’s ankles. She left them dangling on Amara’s right foot, above the black heels she wore that were remarkably sexy. Hillary’s attention returned to Amara’s center, which was glistening with arousal. She smirked before attaching her lips to Amara’s clit.
“Seems like you didn’t want me to stop after all,” Hillary said as she pulled back for a moment to lick a smooth circle around the woman’s clit with just the tip of her tongue.
“Oh,” Amara cried out softly. “Please don’t stop.”
“I won’t.” Hillary reached for her hips and pulled her closer.
She pressed her face fully to Amara’s sex and licked, sucked, and nibbled on the flesh until Amara’s hand gripped the back of her head tightly. Her thighs squeezed around Hillary’s head. Hillary opened her eyes to see the sexiest sight she’d ever beheld: Amara’s legs were spread wide; her knees were now hanging over the arms of the chair, giving Hillary complete access; her short-sleeved white button down was now not as buttoned as it had been before. Amara must have undone the top three buttons only a moment ago. The tops of her breasts were visible now, when they hadn’t been a few moments prior. One of Amara’s hands was gripping Hillary’s head, but the other had moved to cover her own breast. She massaged it as Hillary sucked her harder. Hillary watched as Amara undid another two buttons, slid her hand inside her bra, clasped her breast, and toyed with her nipple. Hillary’s eyes closed. She moaned her approval into Amara’s sex, causing Amara to moan back. Hillary opened her eyes again to watch her girlfriend’s head roll back. Amara had her eyes closed; her mouth was open. Hillary continued to stroke Amara as the woman continued to massage her own breast.
Hillary wanted more; she wanted to be inside this gorgeous woman, but their position wouldn’t allow it. She also wasn’t sure how much Amara would let her get away with when they were essentially in public. She sucked Amara’s clit and slid her tongue down and inside, deciding that would have to satisfy her craving for Amara for now. She listened as Amara came into her mouth. Her sounds were quieter than before, but they were still more than enough to turn Hillary on even more. She waited until the last tremor had resolved itself, then pulled away, wiped at her mouth with a wide smirk on her face, pulled up Amara’s underwear to just above her knees, and stood.
She stared down at the woman she’d been dreaming about for a year and, possibly, for her entire life. Amara’s eyes were still closed. Her hand was still covering her breast under her bra. Her shirt was still spread open, as were her legs. Hillary thought she could come just from staring down at Amara. In fact, she had come from doing just that once, when she’d touched herself a few months ago to the thoughts of Amara. At that time, her mystery woman had no name. She was the woman in the café. Now, she was her beautiful, sexy girlfriend.
“Did that just happen?” Amara asked after a moment when her eyes opened.
The woman removed the hand off her breast and glanced down at her bunched-up skirt and underwear at her knees. Then, she looked up at Hillary.
“It did,” Hillary confirmed with a smile. “You okay there?”
“I can’t believe we just did that.”
“Should I help you put those back on?” She pointed to the pink bikinis at Amara’s knees.
“I don’t think so.” She reached down and pulled them off completely. “They’re…”
“Oh.” Hillary chuckled. “Ruined?”
“I’ve never gotten so turned on so quickly in my life,” she offered. “I can’t wear these.” She held them up.
Hillary took them from her, walked around behind her desk, tossed them into a brown paper bag from the convenience store that she’d failed to throw out last week, and then placed them in the trash can under her desk.
“You’re going to sit through my next class without anything under your skirt, and you expect me to be able to teach?” Hillary asked, returning to the front of her desk and leaning back against it.
Amara stood and walked the two steps toward her. She wrapped her arms around Hillary’s waist and pulled her into her body.
“We could make you feel good now, so it’s not as bad later,” Amara suggested.
Her hand grazed Hillary’s center over the khaki pants that were a little loose these days. It didn’t matter, though: Hillary felt the touch as if it was skin to skin.
“Yeah?” Hillary asked with a hopeful expression.
“Actually, I think it would be more fun for you to think of me without my panties on, sitting in your classroom, and I’ll take care of you later.”
Amara pulled her hand away first. Then, her entire body backed up. Hillary stared at her with an expression of disbelief on her face.
“You’re kidding, right?” she asked with a near grunt at the end of her question.
“Nope,” Amara returned to the chair to sit.
“Oh, and just in case you’re wondering – it’s your turn now.”
“What?”
“I asked you to tell me what you’d fantasized about. You said it was embarrassing and told me to go first. I just did.” Hillary stood up straight, tried to gather herself, and moved to her own chair behind her desk.
“You didn’t tell me anything.” Amara chuckled and leaned forward, crossing her legs.
“I didn’t tell you; I showed you.” Hillary smirked at her girlfriend. “We just lived out one of my biggest fantasies.”
“Really?” Amara’s voice had softened. “You’d never done that before?”
“No. That was the first time I’d ever had sex in my office,” Hillary confessed. “By the way, how did you get so good at that so damn quickly? Teasing me like that?” she asked.
“I watch a lot of porn.”
Hillary’s jaw dropped.
CHAPTER 21
That hadn’t been something she’d planned on telling Hillary anytime soon or, likely, ever. She’d blurted it out in a post-sex haze of hormones and freedom. That was what it was: she felt free. She’d never felt free in her life. That was ridiculous, of course. She was free. She could say and do what she wanted. She just never had. She’d allowed her father and sometimes others to make decisions for her and dictate her life. Last night had been the first time she made a decision to do something she knew her father would object to. This morning she’d done the same thing, and she’d made love with Hillary. Hillary was her girlfriend. Hillary just went down on her in her office in the middle of a crowded building, which was in the middle of an even more crowded colle
ge campus.
“You do, do you?” Hillary leaned forward on her desk and clasped her hands together.
“I didn’t mean to say that,” Amara replied. “Can we just forget I did?”
“No way.” Hillary laughed and then stopped when she must have realized the bright red on Amara’s face was due to her embarrassment. “But I will let you off the hook right now.” She smiled sweetly. “How about I run to the faculty bathroom to clean up, you do the same, and we meet back here? I have a few grades to input before the next class.”
“Thank you.” Amara stood and straightened her skirt.
“You’re welcome.”
They made their way to the bathroom, where they each cleaned themselves up and straightened up their attire. Amara stared at herself in the mirror. Did she look different? She felt different. Could people tell she just had sex? Could they tell she’d spent the better part of a day having sex? No, they couldn’t. She couldn’t tell when others had sex. There was another girl standing next to her, reapplying lipstick. Had she had sex last night? This morning? Had she just had the best orgasm of her life with a beautiful woman kneeling on the floor in front of her? Had she just nearly rubbed her own nipple raw because it felt so good with someone sucking on her clit?
“You okay?” The girl from her right asked her after capping her lipstick tube.
“Huh?” Amara turned to her.
“You’ve just been staring. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m okay.” She smiled into the mirror at herself. “I’m great.”
◆◆◆
Amara stared at Hillary as she taught a course on human sexuality. It was an undergraduate intro level course, but Amara was completely engaged in it. The questions that the students were asking were thought-provoking and more than relevant given the new changes in her life. Hillary glanced at her a few times, but she paid more attention to her students than her in this class. That was good for Amara, too, because while she couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d just shared in Hillary’s office, she was also completely engaged in the topics being discussed and made notes about what to talk to Hillary about later. She regretted having to switch sections earlier in the semester because Hillary was a wonderful teacher.
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