“Can we talk for a second?” Emma asked, turning to face her.
“We are talking.”
“I mean about what’s going on with you recently. Are you bored? Am I boring you? Are we boring now?”
“What?” Keira turned to face her wife. “Em, no.”
“The happiest I’ve seen you was when Greene and Joanna were here. Before that, it was probably months since I’ve seen you that happy. I know I’ve been busy at work since that promotion. And I’m trying to find better ways to balance work with us, but–”
“Emma, no.” Keira stopped her with a hand on her thigh. “God, I’m sorry. You’re blaming yourself, and you shouldn’t be. It’s my fault.”
“What is it?”
“I miss my friends,” she admitted. “I can’t help it. I haven’t seen Kell in months. Greene and Joanna were just here; I won’t see them again for a long time. Hillary and Amara have their own life now, and we don’t hang out together nearly enough. I guess I just miss how things were.”
“How things were before you found me, Macon found Joanna, Kellan moved to Tahoe to be with Reese, and Hillary found Amara?”
“No,” Keira said, then squinted her eyes a little and added, “Not really. I love you. I love that they found their wives. I want everyone to be happy. I’m just a social person, Em. Rose and Claudia are fine, but they haven’t known me for ten-plus years. They didn’t watch me struggle to make ends meet, build a business from scratch, meet and fall in love with you, and then watch the business grow.”
“I know. But they can’t be held responsible for not meeting you back then, babe.”
“I miss my friends, Emma.”
“Let’s call Hill and see if she and Amara want to do After Dark soon. We can invite Rose and Claudia. Maybe Hillary can incept them with your entire friendship history.” She smiled.
Keira laughed and said, “I love you. I don’t think that’s how inception works, though, Em.”
“I only watched the movie once. Maybe we should watch it again so that I can learn more about it and train Hill and Amara, since they’re the only ones that live close now.” Emma smiled sweetly at her.
“I thought I got to pick out the movie,” Keira said, turning back to face the TV as Emma did the same. “And do I get to lay my head in your lap?”
“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Emma said.
◆◆◆
Emma stroked Keira’s hair as they watched the romantic comedy she’d chosen. She tried to prevent the third yawn in the past five minutes from escaping but knew she hadn’t done a good enough job when Keira lifted her head.
“Bed? We can finish it tomorrow.”
“No, I’m okay. There’s only twenty minutes left.” She smiled down at her wife and encouraged her to put her head back where it was.
The truth was that Emma was exhausted. She’d been lucky enough to have received another promotion a few months back, after a retirement in the office, but she wasn’t sure lucky was the right word at this point. She’d yet to find the best balance and worried that her normally great time management skills still weren’t enough for this level of authority and autonomy. The team she’d inherited wasn’t the best. She’d worked on her old team for years to get them to the point where she was satisfied. She wasn’t sure she had the energy to do it all over again with this group. She now had eight direct reports – which was the highest amount in the department – along with over eighty indirect reports. Emma also had an assistant that she didn’t include in that number, but even she needed some training. Said assistant was used to the person who had the job before Emma, and that man moved at a snail’s pace, which enabled her to do the same.
Emma wasn’t miserable exactly, but she also wasn’t as happy as she’d been in her old role. She knew she couldn’t just ask for it back. For one, they’d already put her replacement in. It was someone that had been on Emma’s team and who was doing great. It would also just look bad if Emma demoted herself right after taking the new job. It would show people she couldn’t handle the workload. But Emma knew that she could. She just needed to find ways to get better at getting things done in the office. Maybe she’d get in a little earlier, before everyone else, so she’d have an hour, at least, where she wouldn’t be bothered. She could stay an hour later and accomplish the same thing. Both of those options meant less time with her wife, though.
If she got in earlier, she’d wake up next to the bear that was Keira Worthy before seven in the morning. The chances of them having a quickie before they both had to leave for work would diminish. And, sometimes, morning sex was the only thing that got Emma through the day. If she stayed later, she wouldn’t get home until close to seven, or maybe even seven-thirty. She’d miss dinner with her wife, or they’d have to start eating later, which meant every other part of their night together would go later. Keira generally liked to be in the bed no later than ten. Sometimes, she wanted to read a book or a proposal for work. They were usually asleep by eleven, or they were doing other enjoyable things.
That thought caused Emma to smile. She checked the clock on the cable box of their TV. It was later than normal to start what she was about to start, but she could sense that Keira needed this tonight. They’d have to talk more about what Keira was going through, but that could happen later. Right now, Emma missed touching her wife. And, she suspected, Keira missed the same. Emma slid her hand from Keira’s hair to her hip. Keira was wearing a pair of boxer shorts she’d borrowed from her. As the movie continued in the background, Emma rubbed her thumb over Keira’s hip bone. Keira didn’t stir or give any indication that she knew what was about to happen.
Emma rubbed Keira’s belly with her palm and then her fingertips. She slid her hand under Keira’s t-shirt and moved it higher until she was cupping her wife’s breast. Keira shifted slightly but didn’t say anything. This was the part Emma loved. She would continue to escalate her touches with neither of them acknowledging it. It was as if it was forbidden or shouldn’t be talked about. For some reason, Emma liked when they did this with one another. She played with Keira’s nipple for a few minutes until she heard Keira’s breathing begin to pick up. She moved her hand to the other breast and gave it the same attention. Keira rolled onto her back; her head still on Emma’s lap. Emma took that as her cue. She lifted Keira’s shirt in order to see her wife’s breasts. The nipples were perky and rosy. Her breasts were still just as perfect as the day Emma had first seen them. Wanting to touch them more but also knowing Keira would want her hands elsewhere, Emma slid one hand into Keira’s shorts and moved under the black panties she couldn’t see but knew Keira was wearing.
“I’ve missed this,” Keira said as she closed her eyes. “We couldn’t exactly do this with the house guests.”
“After I make you come out here, we’re going in there,” Emma told her; now fully turned on and ready for more.
She slid her fingers down a little further to find Keira’s wetness at her entrance. She dragged it up to her clit and stroked her wife, watching Keira reach for her own breasts, squeeze them, and tweak her nipples as Emma brought her higher. Emma’s fingers moved a little faster, applying more pressure. Keira’s breathing intensified. Emma slid her fingers down and went inside. She knew Keira wouldn’t come like that, in this position; she just needed to be inside her.
“Babe, my clit,” Keira said in a husky tone.
Emma smirked more internally than externally and slid her fingers back up to where Keira wanted them. She watched Keira’s cheeks turn red, her head move back a little, and her mouth open and form an ‘O’ as Keira came silently at first. Then, she moaned, gasped, and kind of sputtered. It was sexy as hell and also kind of adorable. Emma continued to slide her fingers up and down and in small, concentrated circles until Keira’s hand topped her own, requesting she stop.
“I definitely missed that,” Emma said.
“Me too.” Keira opened her eyes and smiled up at her. “Finish the movie tomorrow?”
Emma smiled.
◆◆◆
“She’s what?” Hillary asked.
“Not happy.”
“Emma, that’s crazy.”
“Hill, she misses you guys,” Emma told her friend over the phone. “I know you and Amara have your own life, but I think it hurts her that everyone has basically left, and it’s just her and I in the city. I’m not much help with the new job.”
“She may miss us, but she’s not unhappy, Emma. Trust me, I’ve seen Keira unhappy. You met her after her best friend, Michelle, died. But she’d already dealt with a lot of the grief when you two started dating. I was there for all of that. That is Keira unhappy.”
“Hill, I may have missed that part, but I watched her deal with the possibility of losing her business, her apartment, and barely making ends meet. I saw her go through some pain when Kevin moved away. He was one of her last connections to Michelle, and when he moved away, that was really hard on her. I’ve been through a lot with her, and it kills me to think that she might be unhappy.”
“Em, she loves all of us so much that it’s always hard when things change. When Kellan moved away, Keira struggled the most. I think part of that was because Kellan basically left to deal with her broken heart, but she technically never came back. She’s lived in Tahoe ever since. Amara and I moved, but we’re not all that far away. We’ve just gotten busy. And we’ve made other friends, too. Blame Greene if you want to blame someone.” She laughed a little. Then, she sobered. “Emma, we’re all at that point in our lives where things have changed, and we need to meet new people and make new friends. It’s not nearly as easy for me to do that as it is for Keira, because she’s a naturally social person.”
“I think she’s viewing it like she has to start over. She loves how long you’ve all known each other and how well.”
“Yeah, I get that. It’s hard to make new friends at any age, but we’ve had the same ones for decades. It’s almost like when you start dating again after being in a long-term relationship. You spent all that time getting to know them, and they got to know you. When you start dating someone new, it’s like, now I’ve got to start all over and get this new person to know the things about me that the old person did.”
“That’s one of the worst parts of a breakup in my opinion: losing all the time and starting over.”
“Right. I mean, Amara and I have been together for years now. And I’m still learning new things about her all the time. But I know things about her that no one else ever will, and I know some simple things, too. I know how she likes her coffee, for example. I can just bring her a cup in the morning without asking if she wants it or what she wants in it, because I know. New people don’t know that yet, and it’s exhausting to even think about having to go back that far with someone. Friends are kind of the same way.”
“I remember moving out here. That was hard for me. I had to let go of my friends back in Chicago and start over here.”
“And this time, instead of you guys moving away, I bet it’s harder for her because she thinks we all left her,” Hillary replied. “We didn’t, by the way.”
“I know that. I think deep down she does, too. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Emma, Greene and Jo aren’t moving back. Greene signed a five-year contract. Plus, they really like it out there. I think it suits them. Kellan and Reese definitely aren’t moving back. That just leaves Amara and I. And, to be honest, I’m liking San Francisco less and less. Even the burbs are getting crowded now.”
“You’re moving, too?”
“No. We’re not going anywhere. But the main reason we head into the city is for work. There are other options for us if it comes to that. There are three colleges within a stress-free twenty-minute drive for me. If I ever left where I am now, I doubt I’d come into the city more than once every few months. We don’t even do After Dark anymore on a regular basis.”
“Hill, are you ready?” Amara’s voice came from Hillary’s side of the phone.
“We are going to the Homeowner’s Association meeting,” Hillary explained. “I should probably get going.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll text Keira, okay? We’re busy this Thursday… But, next week, maybe we can do After Dark? Just the four of us.”
“Sure, Hill. Thanks,” Emma said and then hung up the phone.
◆◆◆
“I’m really sorry, but I’ve accepted another job,” Rose told Keira the following Monday.
“Wait… What?” Keira leaned over her desk.
“Claudia found something in Seattle that’s perfect for her. Her family lives about an hour outside of the city. I started looking a few weeks ago. I didn’t think I’d find something so fast, but they really like me and want me to start as soon as possible. They’re even giving me vacation pay and letting me take time off for the cruise. I told them I have to give you two weeks’ notice, and they said that’s fine. I know I should have told you sooner, but Claudia’s offer was only just signed. They’re giving us relocation. She only moved here for school. We stayed because we both got job offers out of college.”
“I know. I guess I just thought you were in this thing with me for the long haul. We’ve been making plans for your department, Rose. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to make you stay?”
“I love working here. This has nothing to do with you, Keira. It’s just about my family. Claudia is my family, and we want kids. She wants to be closer to her parents, and neither of us wants to raise kids in San Francisco proper. We’re going to get a place outside of Seattle, with a yard and a dog.” She smiled with her obvious happiness.
“I’m glad for you guys,” Keira said, meaning it. “Finding your replacement will be hard, but I’m happy for you and for Claudia.”
“Thank you. I’ll help however I can, and you and I will keep in touch.”
Keira nodded and smiled at her but knew that wouldn’t be the case. Every time someone she worked with said they’d keep in touch, time would get away from them. Even Kevin, who had been her closest friend and her roommate for a while after Michelle died, took months to return her calls most of the time. Then, she’d taken the hint that he was too busy for her and stopped calling. She talked to Rose about her last two weeks. When the woman left her office, Keira sat there wondering if she’d just lost another friend. Hillary’s text message about going to After Dark couldn’t even cheer her up.
She went back to work, trying to formulate her plan to expand the business further with a few more people in Los Angeles. She’d thought about the agent and booking side of things, and it just made more sense for someone to be there. Most celebrities, that they’d be able to book with, live there or in New York anyway. It would be nice to have someone local to meet with them or their agents if needed. By the time she was packing up her bag, she was tired and ready to spend an hour in a hot relaxing bath.
“Hey, Mom,” Keira greeted as she made her way to the car.
“Hey, honey.”
“I was just about to get in the car. Can I call you when I get home?”
“I just wanted to give you a quick update on Dad,” she said.
Keira stopped walking and asked, “Is he okay?”
“Yes, he’s okay. They’re releasing him tomorrow morning. But he’s going to need some help getting around for a while, and he’ll need daily insulin injections now, too.”
“I thought the diabetes was under control,” she replied.
“It was. But with everything else, it’s gotten worse. He’s terrible at taking care of himself; you know that.”
“I know. Do I need to come home for a while and help? I’m not sure Emma can get away for too long, but I can take time off if I need to, and she can fly down for the weekends. I don’t want you taking care of him all by yourself, Mom.”
“I’ve got help for a few hours each day. A nurse is going to come over. She’s going to teach me how to do the insulin shots and check his blood sugar just in case somethin
g goes wrong when she’s not here.”
“I’ll fly down this weekend. I’ll learn how to do it. Emma can learn, too.”
“If you want to come for a visit, I won’t stop you. You know we love seeing you and Emma.”
In the years since she and Emma had first met, her parents had gotten more supportive of not only their relationship but also of Keira’s career choice and place they’d decided to call home. It had been a process, to repair the relationship with her parents; her father in particular. But they’d worked at it. And now, they were all stronger because of it.
“I’ll talk to Emma tonight. We can fly down Friday night after work and back up Sunday night. I’ll stay there longer if you need me.”
“Okay. Send us the flight details. Your father will want to pick you up.”
“Mom, we’ll rent a car or something. I don’t want him picking us up. He’s not well. That’s why we’re going there, to begin with.”
They disconnected after her mother finally agreed that they wouldn’t pick them up at the airport. Keira got into the car and drove home to talk to Emma about an impromptu trip to Los Angeles. They’d have to skip After Dark with Hillary and Amara this week since they’d need Thursday night to pack.
◆◆◆
“How do you feel?” Emma asked.
“A lot better, knowing they’re getting more in-home care than when we got there,” Keira replied. “He looks good, doesn’t he?”
“He does, babe. I don’t think he’ll need that in-home care for too long. That nurse you hired seems to scare him.”
“Well, my mom doesn’t. And the one she found him only helped a little. This one is there twenty-four hours a day until I say so. He better get in line.” Keira smiled. “Are you sure you don’t mind me working before we head to the airport? I just knew we were going to be here, and the guy I’m interviewing lives about twenty minutes away. So, instead of flying him up to the city, I thought I’d just meet him for an interview here over some coffee.”
“It’s fine, babe. I’ll just wait for you here if that’s okay,” Emma said.
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