Supernatural Dating Agency - The Complete Collection (Books 1-6)

by Andie M. Long

  “It’s an incantation of some kind, but we need some ingredients. A glass of water, a wedding ring and some cat fur.”

  “There’s water on their table.” I pointed at it.

  “I’ll put my wedding ring in.” Said Theo, throwing it in the jar of water with expert accuracy.

  Satan roared with laughter. “Yes, you get a lot of cats in restaurants. I’m just going to watch your pathetic attempts for one more minute and then Lucy, I shall be giving you your ultimatum once and for all. It’s either your horns back or you lose the man you love. Your choice, hun. Sorry to spoil your fun and all but I really can’t be doing with all this love and happiness crap that’s going on.” He shuffled around. “It gives me the heebie-jeebies.”

  Shelley’s shoulders slumped. “I could hold him in my thread, but any sudden movement and Frankie’s dead.”

  “Lucy!” A man walked up to the table with a group of small men behind him. Pixies. “Is everything okay?”

  “Henry. Will you look after Red’s for me? Make sure the staff are okay? It looks like I’ve got to leave Withernsea.” Her chin trembled, and she wiped under her nose with a napkin.

  Then her gaze centred on one of the pixies and she launched out of her position like a lovesick crazed stalker of Harry Styles, front row at a One Direction concert.

  “Oh no. Not her, help me. Help me!” Yelled a Pixie with dark blonde hair. He looked petrified bless him.

  “Drop your trousers, right now.” She screeched.

  Everyone in the restaurant stilled and turned towards the screaming banshee who had wrestled a Pixie to the ground and who currently had her hands in his pubic region.

  Even Satan looked dumbfounded and Frankie’s face was one of unease crossed with devastation.

  Then there was a ripping sound, followed by a sharp scream of pain from the pixie. Lucy held a wad of dark hair aloft before running to the water jug.

  “I don’t have time to explain, say the sodding rhyme,” she yelled.

  Shelley shook herself and read.

  “With the purity of water,

  the fur of one so smart,

  May love bind you together,

  And you never be far apart.”

  A glowing tendril of white smoke rose from the bowl wrapping itself around Frankie, another around Lucy and then the tendrils entwined together into a heart shape before disappearing.

  “I’m going to hurl,” said Satan and with that he slit the knife straight across Frankie’s throat.

  But it did nothing. As it pressed against his flesh the fiery blade fizzled out.

  Then Sophia appeared.

  Satan rolled his eyes.

  “Oh what are you doing here? Always the party pooper with all your lovey dovey stuff. I mean, a heart at the end. Talk about overkill.”

  His eyes fixed on the box in her hand and his own widened. “What’s that?” He looked to escape, renting a rip in the air, his escape portal, but Sophia put a hand up and froze it, Shelley adding her blue strands which knitted it back together.

  “We’ve been having meetings, urgent meetings. You see, you’ve not been keeping to our agreement about the balance between good and evil. For that, you have outgrown your position. It’s time for your renewal.”

  “You can’t do this.” Satan yelled.

  “It is not our doing. If you have kept to the agreement of balance, nothing shall happen when I open this box. In the end we are all accountable for our decisions, even you.”

  She opened the box and a small white arrow floated out. As it approached Satan it turned black as night before it punctured his neck.

  “Aarrrrrgh.”

  In front of us Satan crumpled to the floor, flames enveloping him in a way that surely he couldn’t survive.

  But of course this was Satan, so we waited with baited breath.

  The flames died away and the man who remained was someone entirely different.

  “Fuck me. Has he regenerated like Doctor Who?” I shouted before I realised I’d just cussed in an angel’s presence.

  “Angel Sophia. My apologies for my language.” I bowed.

  She smiled and her face glowed brighter. “No apologies necessary, my child. It is just a human thing. It’s when your words cause harm, I take offence.”

  Satan sat up and rubbed his head. Then he looked at Sophia.

  “Where am I? Why am I on earth?”

  Sophia walked closer to the table and whispered something in Lucy’s ear before walking over to Satan. “Come, there have been changes. We need to go to the Angel realm and discuss.” With a blinding light they were gone.

  Theo looked around, and we finally took notice of the mass hysteria overtaking the restaurant. “Group hypno session coming up. I’m going to be one tired vampire tonight.”

  Was it me or did his wife actually look pleased about that fact as she magicked his wedding ring out of the bowl and back onto his finger?

  Once the restaurant patrons had been dealt with, we took a seat back down at the table to enjoy a well earned drink. I ordered a red wine; Shelley, a coke because she was erring on the side of caution; and Theo ordered a red wine himself which he tipped into my glass as soon as I’d downed my first, before extracting a small bottle of blood from his pocket and pouring it into his glass.

  “What a night.” Shelley said for about the thirtieth time before picking up her glass and taking a swig. She licked her lips. “I was ready for a drink.”

  “Err, Shelley.” I said pointing to her.

  “What? Oh there’s not another drama is there? I need a rest. I’m feeling wiped.”

  “You just drank my O-neg, darling. I think the tiredness might be that you’re having my baby.” Theo said, looking into her eyes with such tender love.

  Shelley’s phone rang and as I saw the ID, I picked it up first.

  “Yeah, yeah, Ebony. We know already.”

  “The baby will bring great joy to Withernsea. If only the same could be said for you.”

  I hung up. This night was now for celebrating, not for worrying about werewolves.

  Lucy and Frankie approached our table hand-in-hand.

  “We’re leaving now.” She said, her eyes glittering. The pair of them were bouncing on their toes such was their haste to get home. She turned to Shelley. “We just wanted to say thank you for everything, especially for smoothing things over with Tristan. You declaring him the hero of the hour meant that he wasn’t deposed of his Pixie position and I won’t now have to make reparation again although I have promised to comb Maisie for him the next time I see her.”

  Shelley smiled. “It was a little fur-raising, but all worked out in the end.”

  “Yeah, and now you can go be all loved-up.” I said. “Congratulations you two.”

  “Oh about that. Our agreement means you now have to date Darius.” Lucy smiled.

  I shot back in my seat. “I don’t think so.”

  Then I yelped as a strange heat radiated up my arm.

  “It was binding. You have no choice. Sorry.” Lucy exchanged a knowing look with Shelley. Then she and Frankie left.

  “Can I have the bill please?” I asked our waitress. I wanted my bed, and probably to thump my pillow a few times.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Lucy

  Having a vampire boyfriend was so cool. No longer did I need to catch buses. He just whooshed me back to his, well, our, house.

  “Which room?” He said throatily in my ear.

  “Mine.” I whispered.

  With my door kicked off its hinges and an “Oops, oh fuck it,” from Frankie, he deposited me on the top of my duvet and I thanked God, yes, this was my thing now, that I’d kept my room tidy.

  Frankie nuzzled my neck. “You smell divine.”

  Oh I sure did.

  I kicked off my Louboutins with a whispered apology to them for my lack of attention, and then the rest of our clothes followed as we got ourselves naked. Skin to skin we lay together now under the duvet.


  “Well who’d have thought this was going to happen?” Frankie said.

  “Mmmmmm.” I snuggled. “Not me, but thinking back it makes perfect sense. We were two people searching to find our new selves and not only did we do that but we found each other too.”

  “Well thank goodness you got that cat hair. I can’t believe that was the real story of why there were pixies in my house.”

  “There’s more to our story though, Frankie.” He propped his chin up on the pillow at the side of me and gave me his full attention.

  “When Satan smote you. I was responsible. I’d brought Shelley to that house, had tricked her. She’d not realised that to release me and therefore her parents, she had to make a deal with the Devil. I brought her to Satan’s attention and that led to your death. That was me. Tonight, I saved you from him. It came full circle and now it’s over, we’re free.”

  “I love you, Lucy Fir, and sometime in the future, when we’ve dated a while, I think we need to change that name of yours. I think Lucy Love sounds much more suitable to the new you.”

  “Lucy Love.” I sighed. “Infinitely better.”

  Frankie laid me back on the bed and trailed kisses over every inch of my body. I felt his erect cock next to my thigh and shivered in anticipation of what was to come.

  When he eventually entered me, it felt like everything and more. I rocked against him until explosions overcame me like a tsunami wave.

  Frankie moved to my side and I laid back, enjoying the aftershocks of this amazing moment.

  “Lucy? Are you supposed to be floating?”

  I opened my eyes and found myself around five inches off the bed, the duvet having been thrown back during the throes of passion.

  “Oops.” I said coming back down.

  “Are you glowing a little or is it my eyes?”

  I patted his arm. “When Sophia came over to me she whispered that the balance had to be restored. I’ve spent years being evil and creating harm. With Andrew of no use as an earth angel, she made me one.”

  Frankie gasped. “What does that mean for us?”

  “It means that like my vampire boyfriend, I will no longer age.” I told him. “Angels aren’t supposed to be with vampires. For us, she made an exception. When she binded us together, it was for eternity. I hope you’re ready for that.” I bit my lip. “I’m not sure what it means in terms of children though. Can you cross an angel with a vampire?”

  “Ah, we have over a hundred years to think about and research that one.” He told me, then he leaned over and nibbled at my neck causing another flush of desire to run through my body.

  “And that research is continuing right now.” He said.

  THE END

  Has Kim started a pack war?

  Can Lucy adjust to her new life as an earth angel?

  All will be revealed in Hate, Date, or Mate, releasing 11 April 2018.

  Pre-Order Here

  Hate, Date, or Mate?

  Chapter One

  Kim

  What was the wolf equivalent of the doghouse? Because I was in it.

  My misdemeanors? Well, let’s see…

  Dating a wolf from an enemy pack - check.

  Losing five werewolf shifter clients in one evening - check.

  Pissing off your newly pregnant, mega hormonal boss - check, check, check.

  I was sitting in Shelley’s office right now while she glared at me. It was most off-putting. I couldn’t even bribe her with a coffee and a chocolate doughnut because she’d started drinking blood, which she was decanting into a tomato juice bottle to fool other clients.

  Shelley’s arms were folded across her chest. “You have until the end of the week to get me five new clients.”

  I sighed.

  “You lost us Darius, Sierra, and Jett. Plus two more of Darius’ pack quit.”

  I pouted. “Sierra doesn’t count. Darius only got her to join to make me jealous.”

  “She was still paying her fees.”

  I held a hand to my breastbone. “Can you stop thinking about your business for a moment? I’m in deep shit, Shel. Ebony says I’m going to cause a pack war. A. Pack. War. Also, I have to date Darius because of my binding deal with Lucy. How do I do that when he won’t speak to me? Huh?” I shook out my right arm. "This stupid appendage keeps feeling like it’s having its own menopause and Lucy says it will continue to feel occasionally like it’s burning until he goes out with me. Jett won’t answer my calls either. I need understanding, not more pressure. I don’t deal with stress well.”

  Shelley snorted. She actually snorted at me. “If you don’t have clients, you don’t have a job do you? Now that’s stress.”

  “Gaaahhhh.”

  “Oh for goodness’ sake. You have five minutes to moan on, during which time I’ll be your best friend. Then I’m back to being a boss and you have to bring in five more clients to replace the income you’ve lost.”

  “Supernatural ones?”

  “Ideally, but I’ll accept any at this time.”

  “Okay.” I lowered my chin to my chest. God, I have a great rack.

  Shelley looked at her clock. “Five minutes starting from now.”

  Fuck, I’d better get it all out quickly, like when you’re trying to name everything you remembered on The Generation Game. “It’s not fair, Shelley. I found the sexiest red chemise with a hooded robe. I was gonna go all Red Riding Hood on his arse.”

  “Whose? Jett’s?”

  “No! Are you even listening? I dated Jett to make Darius jealous.”

  “Um, you’ve been telling us all you didn’t want to date Darius.”

  I slapped myself in the forehead. “So, I lied, okay? I’ve been having a crisis. I don’t do relationships, and Ebony said I was destined for him. That’s a relationship, right? Like a bloody long one. So I panicked. How come if a normal person panics they just might need to buy a bunch of flowers and say sorry, but I start a pack war? A Pack. War.”

  “So, what exactly is a pack war? It doesn’t sound good in any case. Anything with the word war in it is a little worrying.”

  “You think? I don’t know but I’ve started one. What if they all die? What if Darius now dies? Or Jett?” My traitorous mind imagines Sierra Forrester lying bloodied on the ground. That’s just so bitchy, Kim, and an evil thought too far. Why am I smiling? Stop it.

  “So what’s the plan then? Just sit back and see what happens? I’m sure if there was any immediate danger to Withernsea I’d have been alerted.”

  A sip of my coffee was required. God, that was lush. “I’ve asked Frankie if he can send me a history of the shifters. Of both the packs, both here and at Hogsthorpe, and a potted history of shifters in general. The more information I have at my fingertips, the more I’ll know what to do next.”

  “Well, I don’t see that there is anything else you can do right now. Just keep trying to phone Darius to apologise and wait until your reading material comes through. And in the meantime, stay out of trouble and get me those clients.”

  I blew a huge breath out making a puh noise and then sat up straighter and crossed my legs. “How are you anyway? Are you adjusting to life as an expectant mama?”

  Shelley nodded. “To be honest, I wouldn’t know I was pregnant if it wasn’t for the O-neg I’ve started drinking. I have five months to go according to having a vampire baby, maybe even eight if it ends up being like a regular human/wyvern/witch baby. I’m quite chill about it all.”

  “Like a regular human/wyvern/witch? Have you heard yourself? Will it come out with fangs? Scales? A broomstick? What about red eyes? Are you having a home birth because how do you explain its potential peculiarities in the labour ward?”

  A serious amount of eye rolling occurred. “It will come out like a regular baby: without teeth and with blue eyes. And there’s Dr Fielding at the hospital, along with a whole host of other medical staff who know full well that Withernsea is full of supernaturals. Mine isn’t the first supe baby to be born here.”<
br />
  “I still can’t get over that. Even though we run a dating agency for them, so many people here are like the undead, or have real life talons. Must be a twat having a manicure if you’re a bird shifter.”

  Shelley ran her hands through her hair. “Can you go to your office now? Time’s up and you’re wearing me out.”

  “Thanks a bunch.”

  As I stood up to leave, the door banged open and Lucy walked in clutching two coffees. She passed one to me, sat opposite Shelley, and put the other one in front of her on Shelley’s desk.

  “What’s happening, dudes?”

  “We are not dudes.” I protested. “I hate people use that word for everyone. Makes me think I’ve grown a penis, and I didn’t realise.”

  Lucy tilted her head towards me, then looked back at Shelley. “What’s got into her today, or rather not got?” She cackled.

  “Oh just because you’re loved up.” I did a mock vomiting impression. “Anyway, how come you’re up at this time? Shouldn’t you still be at it with loverboy?” Lucy was dating my ex, Frankie.

  “He’s sleeping. Vampire, remember?” She rolled her eyes. Why was everyone rolling their eyes at me today? “But for your information, I’m up keeping an eye on a client. The quicker I get my earth angel duties done, the quicker I can become an angelic housewife and just stay at home serving my man.”

  We both gawped at her.

  “Oh my God, you didn’t seriously believe that bollocks did you?” She guffawed.

  “Are you supposed to blaspheme and swear when you’re a helper of the angelic realm?” I creased my brows at her.

  She wafted her hands as if wafting my words away. “I can’t help blaspheming. After not being able to hear those words for twenty-odd years, I can’t stop saying them all. Holy moly, oh my God, oh my fucking God, Christ almighty. It’s so refreshing. Anyway, Angel Sophia told me that as long as I wasn’t actually harming anyone I was fine.”