by Abbi Glines
would feel like everything was OK.
Grant stayed so close to my side that his body brushed mine as we walked into the bedroom. He closed the door behind us, then pulled me tightly into his arms. We just stood there in the darkness. I wrapped my arms around his waist and laid my head on his chest. The strength from having him with me again like this was unexpected. My heart had always been weak, but loving Grant made it strong.
His lips brushed the top of my head. “I love you. I love you so much,” he whispered into the silence.
The fullness inside from hearing those words made me feel as if I would burst. I had this man’s love. Deep down, I’d known he loved me, but hearing him say that after everything I had put him through made it real.
“I love you, too,” I told him, then tilted my head back and stared up into his eyes. The emotion in those depths rocked me.
“You need to sleep. We can talk in the morning, but right now, you need to rest, and I want nothing more than to hold you while you do,” he said, then pressed a kiss on my forehead as if I were a delicate flower he didn’t want to break.
I didn’t want to sleep. There was a lot I wanted to do, but sleeping wasn’t one of them. “I’m awake now,” I told him.
He cupped my face with one hand and brushed his thumb over my cheek. “You should be asleep. I woke you up. You need sleep before we talk. I need some sleep, too.”
He picked me up, carried me over to the bed, and placed me on it before reaching for his shirt and tugging it off. I watched in wonder as his beautiful chest was revealed. He pulled off his shoes and went to unbutton his jeans and stopped. My gaze had been completely wrapped up in watching him undress, so when he didn’t continue, I lifted my eyes to meet his.
Instead of hunger, I saw pain. I didn’t understand.
“I think I’ll leave these on. We need to sleep,” he said, then climbed onto the bed and lay back, gently pulling me toward his chest. His arms encircled me.
“I’m almost scared to close my eyes,” I admitted.
“Why?” he asked, tensing underneath me.
I tucked my head back against his shoulder so I could see his face. “Because I’m afraid this is a dream. I’ll wake up, and you won’t be here,” I admitted, then reached up and touched his face to remind myself that he was real and he was here.
“If you wake up and this is a dream, call me. I’ll come running. I swear,” he said, then took my hand and kissed my palm. “All you ever have to do is call me, and I will drop anything to be with you.”
Grant
I had woken up more than an hour ago, but Harlow was still sleeping peacefully, so I wasn’t moving. She needed sleep. Her body needed all the rest it could get until I could make her see reason. I glanced down at her curled up beside me and noticed her hand resting protectively over her stomach. Even in her sleep, she was protecting the life inside her.
A tug inside me at the idea of a baby, my baby, startled me. I didn’t expect to feel anything for the life that could take her from me. But I did. I felt something. It wasn’t enough to bargain with Harlow’s life, but I felt a deep sense of loss when I thought about what we had to do. I couldn’t pretend it wasn’t there. I would mourn the baby, but I would be able to move on because I would have Harlow.
Convincing Harlow that saving herself was most important was my main focus. That and keeping her rested and her body healthy. I just didn’t know yet how hard that first part was going to be. From the way Rush talked, it wouldn’t be easy.
The smell of coffee drifted into the room, and I heard Mase moving around in the small cabin. I wanted him to leave—do something else and leave us alone. I didn’t need his interference. This was between Harlow and me. Her brother had taken care of her when I couldn’t, but I was here now, and it was time he stepped down.
“Good morning.” Harlow’s sleepy voice brought my gaze back to her face. Those big, beautiful eyes of hers looked happy this morning. She wanted me here. She may have been trying to keep me away, but she wanted me here. That was all the proof I needed.
“Morning, sweet girl,” I replied, then pressed a kiss to her soft lips. I was gentle and didn’t push for more. We needed to talk first. Tasting her would have to wait. I wasn’t sure I could remain focused if I let myself take too much right now.
“It wasn’t a dream,” she whispered.
“No. It was real. I’m here,” I assured her. And I wasn’t leaving without her.
She began tracing small shapes on my stomach with her fingertip. I watched her small hand and the frown starting to pucker her forehead. She was thinking. I knew what about. She wasn’t sure what to do now that I was here.
I didn’t doubt that she was aware of the fact that I wasn’t leaving her. Letting her worry and stress wasn’t good for her. I reached down and took her hand in mine and squeezed it. I had to ease into this, and I had to choose my words with caution.
“I can’t lose you. It would destroy me. You might as well take me with you. I won’t be able to live if you don’t.” I stopped and fought the terror that came with those thoughts. I shoved it away, because I refused to accept it. “I want you to be happy, but I want you alive. I’ll give you anything. Just ask. But I can’t sacrifice you. Your life isn’t something I’m willing to gamble with.”
She had gone still in my arms, so still I wasn’t sure if she was even breathing. It hadn’t dawned on her that I could already know her secret. If she even thought of running from me, I’d chase her down.
“You came into my life. You changed my world. You made me realize I’m capable of loving completely. You’re my one. You’re it. This is my epic love, and I can’t lose that.”
Harlow let out a shaky breath and buried her face in my chest. I cupped the back of her head with my hand and gently stroked her back as she took several deep breaths. Giving up on her wasn’t something I would ever do. She just had to understand my devotion and my need for her. “When did you become such a sweet-talker? Prepare a girl before you say stuff like that,” she said as she lifted her head to look at me. The redness in her eyes and the unshed tears made me want to cuddle her and take her away from anything that could hurt her.
“It’s true,” I assured her.
She closed her eyes and let out a long, uneven breath. “All my life, I’ve dreamed of having someone love me like you do. But in that dream, I imagined a family. The kind I didn’t get to have as a kid. A husband who loved me and our kids, because I always wanted kids. I’ve watched Rush hold Nate, and the joy in his eyes is something I always wanted for myself. I never thought I’d experience either of those things. But I was given this wonderful gift of you”—she paused and touched her flat stomach again—“and I was given this miracle. One I didn’t plan on or expect, but I got it all the same. I can’t end this. I can’t . . . I can’t. I love you, but I can’t.”
Rush had been right. She loved the life inside her already. She didn’t even know the child, but she loved it. She loved it enough to give her life for it. How could reason compete with that? How could I save her from this?
Pulling her up against my chest tightly, I held her in my arms and breathed her in. I understood what she wanted, but it couldn’t be this way. I could love her for the rest of our lives, but carrying a child and giving birth were too dangerous.
I was going to have to put a stop to this. I just didn’t know how. I did know that pushing it right now was not the right thing to do. I needed to restore the faith she had in me. I had to fix us first. Then I would show her how she couldn’t do this to me—how leaving me would destroy my life. I’d never recover from losing her. Never.
“Who told you?” she asked in a soft whisper. She had trusted her brother to keep her secret, but I couldn’t lie to her. I figured Mase would willingly admit it, anyway.
“Mase called Rush,” I explained. “He’s worried about you. Scared enough to call me. Don’t be mad at him. I owe him my life now.”
Harlow let out a long sigh and
pressed a kiss to my chest before replying. “I’m not mad at him. I woke up in your arms. How can I be mad at him for that?”
Damn, I didn’t deserve her. Not even a little.
“Smells like he made coffee. You want some?” she asked, wiggling closer to me.
There were a lot of things I wanted to do with her at the moment, but I knew I wasn’t going to do anything until I’d spoken to a doctor. I needed to know what was safe and what wasn’t. I had to protect her. If she wasn’t going to take care of herself, I would. “Yeah, let’s get some coffee,” I replied, then pressed a kiss to the top of her head.
Her puckered lips were tempting, and she seemed a bit frustrated that I wasn’t giving in to them, but I didn’t know how smart it was to kiss her while we were in bed like this. What if she pushed for more? Could I tell her no, and if I didn’t, would it hurt her? I moved out of her arms before she could tempt me any more and moved away from her.
“I want to talk to your doctor. Today. As soon as abso-fucking-lutely possible,” I told her.
She sat up and let the covers fall to her waist. The flimsy excuse for clothing she had worn to bed—with no bra—didn’t help. At all. “Is that what’s bothering you?” she asked, seeming almost relieved and a little amused. “I had an appointment yesterday, but I didn’t ask about . . . that. I didn’t think about it being a possibility,” she said, a smile playing on her lips.
“Get dressed, and let’s get some coffee. Wait—can you even drink coffee? Is that safe?” There were so many things I hadn’t thought about, that I didn’t know. I needed a damn class on how to keep Harlow safe and healthy. The helpless feeling I got every time I thought about not being able to save her was beginning to control me already.
“Mase will have made me some decaf,” she assured me as she stood up. Even with the terror of physically hurting her haunting me, my body still reacted to seeing her like this. All sexy and rumpled from sleep. I had to get out of this room.
“OK, I’ll meet you out there for breakfast,” I said, and left the room before she could persuade me to give in and kiss her.
Harlow
I sat back down on the bed and stared at the door Grant had escaped through. He was terrified. It was all over his face and in his actions. When I had seen his face this morning, I had been so happy that I hadn’t thought about his reaction to the news. I had just needed him to hold me. I had wanted him to tell me he would stand by me in this. I had wanted to dream about the family we would have. But the man who had just bolted from the room without even properly kissing me was not going to be capable of fulfilling all of those things.
Of course, Mase was the reason Grant had found out. Mase was scared, too, and calling Rush had been his last hope. I understood that. What Mase didn’t get was that I couldn’t make this decision to soothe Grant’s fears. The truth was, I was scared, too, but that didn’t change anything. Life was full of fears, and running from those fears would keep us from experiences that make life worth living. This baby was a gift—one I would protect.
Dealing with Grant was another thing. I didn’t want him to leave me. I didn’t want to stay here and be a burden to my brother. But just because I didn’t want to do something, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t if I had to. Love shouldn’t make our choices for us; it should just add importance to our choices. Explaining that to Grant and my brother was something I didn’t know how to do.
I would give Grant time to accept this, but if he couldn’t, then I would have to leave again, this time to the safety of my dad’s house in L.A. Even if it was the last place I wanted to be.
The front door to the house opened, and another male voice joined the others in the kitchen. Major was here. He’d made it a habit to have coffee with us ever since Maryann sent him over with biscuits and gravy on his first morning at the ranch. The bully from my childhood was actually quite a charming guy now. A bit of a player—OK, a serious player—but I wasn’t dating him, so I enjoyed his company.
I quickly changed into a pair of cutoff sweats and a long-sleeved T-shirt before walking into the living room and kitchen area. The house was small, so these two areas flowed into each other in one large, open space. The stone fireplace in the living room gave the place a homey feel.
All three men stopped talking and turned to look at me. Grant’s eyes quickly took in my clothing, and he looked pleased. I wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because he was just happy to be with me. He stood up and walked over to me and pulled me into his arms as if we hadn’t just been in bed together. “I was about to come check on you,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to my temple.
“Don’t do that in front of me. I got you here, Grant, so at least respect the fact that I don’t want to see your PDA. All it does is remind me of that plane ride I took with the two of you. Not something I want to think about,” Mase grumbled as he frowned up at us. He was sitting across the table with his legs stretched out in front of him and his feet crossed at the ankles. I blushed at the memory of my brother overhearing Grant and me having sex on a private plane to L.A.
“Good morning to you, too,” I replied, glad that Grant hadn’t let me go just because of my grumpy brother.
Mase only grunted in return.
“No good morning for me, beautiful?” Major asked with the lazy grin he knew made women everywhere want to please him. He knew I was completely unaffected by him, which made it even more ridiculous that he would flash that smile on me now. Grant’s arms tightened around me, and I felt him tense. He didn’t know Major was a world-class flirt and meant nothing by it.
“Morning, Major,” I replied, snuggling further into Grant’s arms to reassure him. “I see you’ve met . . . Grant,” I finished weakly. I wasn’t sure how I was supposed to refer to Grant. “Baby daddy” didn’t seem appropriate.
“Yep, Mase introduced me to him already. I hadn’t realized you had a man. I’m dealing with the heartbreak at the moment,” he replied with that stupid grin. That wasn’t true—I had confessed my feelings for Grant to Major on that hay bale just a few days ago. He was trying to cause trouble. I had started to scold him when Grant loosened his hold on me to take a step toward Major. I reached out to grab his arm, though Major kind of deserved it.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, dickhead. Stop teasing Grant. The man’s about to beat the shit out of you, and I’m gonna let him. Drink your coffee, and shut the hell up, or leave,” Mase said, clearly annoyed with Major’s flirting.
I wrapped both of my hands around Grant’s arm. “He knows about you. He’s just teasing.” I wanted to add that I was pregnant with his baby. He shouldn’t be acting possessive, but he also didn’t need a reminder of our real issues right now.
Major held up his hands. “Didn’t mean to cause a problem. No one warned me Grant was so damn territorial.”
Mase rolled his eyes and shook his head at his cousin’s words, then looked at me. “You OK?” he asked, his tone shifting from annoyed to sincere. I knew what he meant. He had called Rush knowing it would send Grant straight to me. He was making sure he’d done the right thing. I could be mad at him for not respecting my wishes, but Grant’s arms were around me again, and just feeling his warmth made me feel stronger.
“Yes,” I replied honestly. I was happy. I was happier than I had been in two months. And I wasn’t scared. Not anymore. Just seeing Grant and knowing we had created life inside me reminded me how much I loved this baby.
“Wish I’d known sooner,” Grant said in a tense voice, and I glanced up at him to see that he was frowning at Mase.
“He was obeying my wishes. He wanted me to call you. He begged me to answer your calls every night.” I didn’t want Grant mad at my brother for doing what I had asked. I needed them to be a family. And not just for me.
“She’s stubborn,” Mase added.
Grant bent his head toward mine. “I know,” was his only response.
I was standing right there while they talked about me. Instead of being snarky, I just shrugged. I
was stubborn. I was determined. It was part of my strength. I wouldn’t deny that. I was proud of it.
“So what’s the plan?” Mase asked.
“Plan? What kind of plan?” Major piped up after watching us quietly.
I turned my head toward Grant. “He doesn’t know,” I explained to him in a whisper.
“Not your business,” Mase informed Major.
“I’m feeling slightly unwelcome in this little gathering. I think I’ll head on down to the stables and get things going. See you later,” Major said to Mase, then glanced over at me and smiled. “First time I’ve seen you really smile. Looks good on you,” he said, and he winked before leaving the house in a few long strides.
“Don’t get all possessive, Grant. He’s right. She hasn’t smiled in the last few months, then you show up here and she’s all smiles this morning. It’s a relief,” Mase said, standing up from the table. “I know you have plans, and I want to know what they are.” Although his eyes glanced down at me briefly, he was talking to Grant. I hadn’t had time to think about plans or discuss things with him. I wasn’t sure he had any plans yet. I didn’t want him to have any. We needed time.
“Rush made some calls. There’s a doctor back in Destin who specializes in high-risk pregnancies. Specifically what we are dealing with here. He’s one of the best. I’m taking her home—to my home, to our home—now.”
Whoa. Wait. What? I stepped out of his embrace and crossed my arms over my chest. As much as I wanted to be with Grant, I didn’t like the idea of leaving the comfort zone I had found here. I was free to make my own decisions, and I had Maryann’s support.
Grant’s eyes were on me, and the pleading in them almost had me buckling without even considering the outcome. “We can’t live with your brother, and I can’t live without you. I want you with the best doctors, sweet girl. Please, come back with me. Let me keep you safe.”
Mase cleared his throat, but I didn’t turn away from Grant. “As much as I like having you here, I hate seeing you look so lost. He’s what you want. But I’ll come to Rosemary Beach any time you need me. All you have to do is call, and I’ll come get you. I don’t care who I have to fight to get to you.” That was Mase’s way of warning Grant that he was still on my side. But I didn’t want there to be sides.
Grant reached out and cupped my face with his hands. “Let me take you home. I will do it right this time. Give me one more chance. I swear, I’ll make it right.”
There were so many reasons leaving was a bad idea. But at that moment, none of them mattered.
“OK,” I replied.
Grant
While Harlow packed her things and said her good-byes to Maryann, I