by David Horne
I was intrigued. Sal wanted me to work on something with him? “Go on.”
Sal uncrossed his arms and leaned forward. “A romantic comedy.”
I laughed. “Me? My love life is in the proverbial shitter.” The waitress brought me my cold brew her eyes widening at my comment. She looked like she was holding in a laugh.
Sal grinned. “So is mine. That’s why I need your help. I’ve seen Cubicles. There is that romance going on between Mandy and Ephraim.”
He was right. There indeed was a long running romance between those two characters. At the mention of his own love life, I decided to ask as casually as possible, “What happened to Greg?”
Sal looked out on the traffic of the busy street in thought. “You remember QWERTY?”
“Of course.” I remembered all of Sal’s films.
Sal squinted his eyes. “You remember the male lead?”
“James Chanco,” I answered.
Sal looked at me glumly. “That’s what happened.”
“What?” I wasn’t sure I knew exactly what he meant.
“Greg was in love with the part, but I had to cast Chanco.” He sighed crossing his arms again tightly. “Of course, there was more to it than just that. He said I was emotionally unavailable,” Sal explained.
“Well, are you?” I asked quickly without thinking.
Sal tilted his head from side to side. “Maybe? Are you?”
I laughed. “Probably? I don’t like to think about it too much, but I think I’m too emotionally available to the wrong people. So, I think in a weird twisted way, that makes me unavailable because I’m too available. Make sense?”
Sal burst into laughter. “Not at all! You want to write a romantic comedy together?”
Shrugging my shoulders, I chuckled, “Sure! It will be the blind leading the blind, but let’s do it!”
Chapter Ten
Sal
Harrison came over to my place in Marina del Rey the next day at around noon. Uncertain of what he might want to eat, I ordered a variety of food from Lunch Apron. I spread out the dozen different sandwiches, pastries, a cranberry and goat cheese garden salad, and spicy curry chicken salad all out on the coffee table. Our first phase of our project was to engulf ourselves in all things romcom. That meant watching an exorbitant amount of romantic comedies.
Harrison walked into the living room and abruptly stopped when he saw the piles of food. Looking around, he asked, “Is anyone else joining us?’
I turned on Netflix on the TV glancing at the enormous amount of food. Grimacing, I admitted, “No. I’ve been told I over order sometimes.”
Harrison plopped onto the couch. “That’s cool. I’m hungry anyway. More food is better than not enough.”
Under Romantic Comedies, The Jane Diaries, popped up. I hovered over it wondering if Harrison was inclined to watch it.
“Is the entire trilogy available?” Harrison asked scooping spicy curry chicken salad onto his plate.
I roamed around Netflix’s interface to check. It was. “All three movies are here.”
Harrison said, “Well, start it up!”
I put a hand on my chest. “Oh good. So, you’re a Jane fan?”
He bit into a turkey and cranberry sandwich. “Of course! I’m not a barbarian.”
Because we’d both seen all three movies before, we were able to discuss and take notes while we watched. We laughed as Jane stumbled through her dating life in her crazed maniacal way. She was a complete mess. She reminded me of myself.
Since we had enough food to last us through a mini-apocalypse, we only took the occasional bathroom break, but for the most part, we powered through whatever movies Netflix suggested in the Romantic Comedy genre. We went from The Jane Diaries to Kiss and Tell to Meet Market. Soon, we were on a Cameron Taylor marathon, the queen of romantic comedies in the nineties.
During Mix and Match, I looked up through the skylight. It was pitch dark. I checked my phone. It was almost midnight. We’d lost complete track of time. I’d been perfectly content the last twelve hours in Harrison’s company. That rarely ever happened if I spent an extended amount of time with someone, especially if it was one on one.
On screen, we watched as Cameron Taylor confessed her feelings for her roommate Judd Paul, who was gay.
“Can you blame her for hoping he’d turn straight for her?” Harrison chirped.
“I know, right? Judd is such a handsome guy.” Judd Paul was attractive in an unconventional way. He had a boyish face, light blue eyes, and charming grin.
Harrison sat up. “He’s super nice too.”
“That’s right! He guest starred on Cubicles! His character had a thing for Mandy.” I remembered that episode. It was hilarious. Ephraim had been ousted by Judd Paul’s character. Whenever he was depressed, Ephraim would drape heavy blankets over his cubicle and hide.
Harrison nodded. “Judd was great. Hilarious guy in person.”
I paused the movie on Cameron Taylor’s distressed face, looking up again through the skylight. “Let’s go for a walk.”
“Okay. I could stretch my legs.” Harrison stood, tugging his shirt down that had inadvertently flipped up when he stood. I glimpsed the contoured shape of his lower abs. Wow.
We walked along my street, Roma Court. Parking wasn’t great, but I loved my neighborhood: quiet, calm, and artfully somewhat cut off from the rest of Venice by the placement of waterways and lagoons.
As we loped along, I mused over Mix and Match and the scene where Cameron Taylor and Judd Paul almost sleep together. “You ever sleep with a girl before?”
Harrison shuffled along next to me with his hands stuffed into his pockets. “No. Have you?”
Our shadows under the street lights stretched into long oblong shapes. “No. On the spectrum of sexuality, I’m pretty much almost exclusively attracted to men,” I quietly said.
Harrison agreed. “I would say the same for myself.”
Arching my eyebrow, I inquired, “You and Tabitha?”
Harrison shook his head. “Heavens no! She’s a doll, and I love her, but no. No sexual attraction there. She’s like a little sister.”
We came up on the End of Street sign. “You wanna head back?” I asked.
Harrison looked around. “Where’s the water?”
I jerked my head to a narrow path. “Over here.”
We walked to Ballona Lagoon, a protected waterway, that hooked into the marina. In the daylight, egrets, songbirds, and wildflowers were everywhere, but in the dark, we couldn’t see much. It was soothing though just to hear the water. “You should come out here during the day. It’s beautiful,” I said to Harrison.
He sighed, looking out onto the dark water. “Yeah. I’d love to.”
We spend a few moments in silence enjoying the sound of the undulating water. Harrison broke the silence. “Let’s head back.”
I followed his lead in the darkness with only the moonlight guiding us. Suddenly, Harrison tripped on something, flinging him backwards. I was close enough to him that, luckily, he fell right into my arms. Cradling him, our faces were so close in the moonlight.
Chapter Eleven
Harrison
My foot stepped on something hard but unstable making me lose my balance like a klutz. On the way down, I prepared myself for the worst, but I landed in Sal’s strong arms. Being so close I could smell his delicious scent: woody and citrusy. I’d never been that close to him before. I’m not going to lie, it felt wonderful to be in his arms.
In a knee jerk reaction, I scrambled to my feet laughing nervously. “I’m so clumsy. I almost bit it. Thanks for catching me.”
Sal chuckled. “No problem.” Carefully, he walked ahead of me, “Let me lead this time.”
I followed him on the narrow path back to the street. When we got back to his house, I followed Sal into his gorgeous kitchen. The color palette was a cool gray and white giving the kitchen a sleek airliner look. It was much different than my own kitchen that had dark brown
and beige hues. It didn’t much matter what my kitchen looked like though. I only used it really to make drinks.
“You hungry?” he asked, opening a cupboard and taking out artisan bread and a can of sardines in tomato sauce.
Patting my stomach, I shrugged. “I can always eat.”
He zipped by me to turn on the oven. “I’m going to whip us up sardine avocado bruschetta.” He spun around to the refrigerator taking out an avocado.
He popped slices of bread into the oven. Pointing to the wine on the counter, “You wanna open that? It’s a Malbec, but I have a nice Chardonnay in the fridge. I looked at the label. Bodega Catena Zapata 2005 Nicasia Vineyard. “This looks good.”
Sal sliced the avocado while I opened drawers looking for something to open the wine. “Wine opener?”
He pointed at the shiny silver cylinder next to the wine. “Use that. It’s electric.”
I picked up the contraption. “Ooh. I didn’t know these existed. Electric?” I positioned the wine bottle inside the cylinder. With a push of a button, I heard a swoosh and the cork pop. “Nifty,” I said praising, the genius gadget.
Sal pulled out the slices of bread from the oven. “It was a gift. I’d feel stupid if I bought something like that for myself.”
“A gift? Who gave you this beloved invention?” I asked as I grabbed wine glasses out of the cupboard.
Sal opened the sardine can. “Ryan Waters.”
My heart jumped into my throat. Ryan Waters was the sexiest man alive. People magazine had even said so.
Were Sal and Ryan dating? Were they a thing? Where was Ryan now when we were having our fun movie watching marathon? What kind of boyfriend was he?
Before my mind could keep spinning with nonsensical questions, Sal sighed, “He’s been going through a lot since Tiff Berry broke it off with him.”
That’s right! Tiff Berry and Ryan Waters had a been a thing. I was overreacting for no reason. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. “What happened?” I poured wine into our glasses and handed Sal a glass.
“She was in that film with Dustin Overstreet. They’re dating now.” He took a sip smacking his lips. Lifting the wine bottle, he remarked, “Not bad.”
I took a sip from my wine glass. It had a chocolaty finish with touches of blueberry and coffee. “Isn’t Dustin Overstreet forty years older than she is?”
Sal carefully placed the sardines and avocado on the bread. “Yup. Gross. Not my thing, but anyway, he’s been moping around for weeks.”
Sal handed me my plate. “You wanna finish the movie?”
“Yeah.” I wanted to find out more about Ryan and their relationship. Just because Ryan dated Tiff Berry, it didn’t mean he couldn’t be interested in Sal. I mean look at him! Sal was insanely gorgeous with his beautiful caramel skin and big brown eyes you could easily lose yourself in. With an indifferent tone, I asked, “So you guys are close friends?”
We walked back into the living room carrying our food and wine. Sal sat down on the couch. “We are pretty good friends. We met on the same movie where I met Arnie.”
Arnie. A dagger pierced into my chest. I sat down as Sal pressed play.
“You talk to Arnie recently?” Sal asked.
Training my eyes on Cameron Taylor as she blubbered on the screen. I said casually, “We’re on friendly terms.” That wasn’t an all-out lie. Arnie had come over three other times to have sex since the first time in the hot tub. We were more than friendly, but that was before Sal had called. There was no reason to divulge specific details.
“That’s good.” Sal bit into his bruschetta. “I guess it’s good to be on good terms with your exes.” He blew a raspberry. “I mean - I think they say that?”
I took a bite of bruschetta savoring the sweet and savory flavors of this midnight treat.
Suddenly, Sal’s eyes lit up. “What about Tabitha?”
I was lost in my thoughts of Arnie that I wasn’t sure what he was talking about. “What about her?”
Sal raised his arms up in victory. “Ryan and Tabitha! We should set them up.”
I shook my head. “Tabitha doesn’t like getting set up anymore. Plus, she won’t go out on a date unless her spiritual advisor deems it an auspicious day.”
“Easy! We’ll pick a day that’s auspicious.” Sal declared.
“Last I heard, the only auspicious day in the near future for Tabitha is New Year’s Eve.”
Sal mulled over this. “That would be weird having a date with someone you just met on New Year’s Eve, huh?”
I took a sip of the Malbec thinking it over. “Unless it was a party. You could always throw a party.”
Sal groaned. “I’m not really a party person.” He grimaced looking around his house.
I followed his gaze to the gorgeous high ceilings and the patio outside. “Actually, this would be a perfect place to have a New Year’s Eve party!”
Sal cringed. “I don’t know. People in my house? Amongst all my things?” His face twisted in a mix of apprehension and disgust.
I nudged his arm with my elbow. “I’ll help. I was in a frat, remember? I can plan a killer party.”
“Are you planning on just having a keg in the middle of the room and pass out red cups?” Sal chuckled.
My mouth dropped playfully. “Oh, we’re having a party now! I can throw a party. You’ll see.”
Chapter Twelve
Sal
I’d honestly never thrown a party in my life. Even as a kid, having my own birthday party was always an agonizing event with so many people there to presumably celebrate me. I would have rather just spent my birthdays reading in my room by myself, but my parents insisted on having grand affairs. It felt like my annual birthday was their way to show off their perfect family when, in actuality, they fought over the smallest details: birthday themes, cake flavors, locations, and entertainment.
If they would have bothered to ask for my opinion, they would have realized that I would have much preferred a small family dinner. But no! They insisted on inviting every kid that could be remotely considered a friend. My birthday became a gigantic production where I awkwardly interacted with kids that I normally wouldn’t have.
As an adult, I avoided celebrating my birthday and ever throwing any kind of party ever. Greg took offense to my indifference to parties. Worse, when planning our wedding, he failed to see what it really was: a party. Taking over the wedding planning had become a sore spot between us, but inevitably, it didn't matter, since we never even made it to the altar.
It was a pleasant surprise that planning my New Year’s Eve party with Harrison wasn’t nearly as painful as I had envisioned. Mostly, Harrison dealt with a party planner and only asked me simple questions. What kind of wine do I want? What colors did I prefer? I'd never told him about my storied history of uncomfortable birthday parties, but he seemed to sense my dread.
Harrison hired Tabitha's party planner, Malia. Malia was nice and bubbly, not at all someone to avoid, but Harrison dealt with her directly while I gladly took a backseat. Soon, instead of dreading questions about the food or decorations, I found myself being swept up in the excitement of it. I liked that it was more of our party than just mine.
Aside from planning for the party, Harrison and I spent a ton of time together writing the screenplay. It just made sense for him to move into one of the guest bedrooms. He hadn't officially move in, but he stayed over more days of the week than not.
Besides my parents, I’d never lived with anyone before. Even in college, I bypassed the dorm experience and had a studio apartment of my own. It was completely out of my comfort zone to have someone in my living space, but having Harrison around so much was actually great. Curiously, what I had stressed over so much in my relationship with Greg turned out to be not a big deal at all.
I’d always thought having a roommate would be a distraction to my writing and my inner peace in general, but Harrison added to it. He knew when I was in a grouchy mood, usually mornings, and was sure to
gauge my mood again before he talked to me too much. We had a perfect arrangement, and I liked having him around.
Our screenplay was coming together. After watching LGBT romance movies and noticing that there really weren't that many comedies, we decided that we had to write a gay romantic comedy.
The premise was two men, Wyatt and Tom, embark on a cross-country trip from New York to Los Angeles together for Thanksgiving after there is no other viable option to get there. Wyatt and Tom started off the trip not liking one another, but no brainer, by the end they fall in love. It wasn't exactly the mainstream movie Barb had instructed me to write, but it was a buddy movie with romantic touches.
Buddy movies were as mainstream as you could get with comedies. Harrison and I took care to unravel the romance between the two characters organically with believability. Wyatt was the more reserved of the two, while Tom was the more outspoken. It was these differences in their personalities that caused them friction in the beginning, but as the road trip continued and they were forced to solve several of the hijinks problems thrown in their path, they bond.
Between the two of us, Cross Country had a healthy mix of slapstick, sarcasm, and dark humor, definitely something for everyone. We finished our first draft a week before the new year. Quickly, we powered on to the editing phase tweaking humor, dialogue, and character development.
Out on the patio, we worked on our laptops bouncing ideas off each other and making changes as we went. I couldn't believe how well we wrote together. Harrison was a dream come true writing partner. I never imagined that I’d be writing with another person. Previously, writing was a strictly solo activity.
It was 10 AM on a Monday morning, and Harrison made Bloody Mary's out of homemade Bloody Mary mix. Homemade! He was amazing.
I savored the delectable sweet tomato goodness in my glass. "I can't believe you made this!"
"You make food. I make cocktails!" Harrison remarked. In a few beats, he looked up from his laptop. "Wouldn't it make sense for Wyatt to throw the lacrosse ball at the elephant?" Harrison inquired chewing on his fingernail. He bit his nails when he was deep in thought.