“I will be taking you home.” My mother tells her.
“Thank you, Mrs. Drazen, but I don’t want to impose on your shopping trip.” Julia replies with a twinkle in her eye, knowing full well how much I’m dreading shopping today.
“Oh please, Julia, join us. It will be so much fun!” My mother says. I grin at Julia. Then I completely lose my grin when my mother continues with, “Brooklyn, why don’t you join us?” What the heck!
“Thank you, Mrs. Drazen, but Jackson just text me and wants me to meet up with him.” She says with a blinding white smile. Thank the Lord!! Even if I don’t want her with Jackson, I sure as hell don’t want to spend hours with her today and her catty mouth. I would end up straggling her.
After we said our goodbyes and my mother called up our driver, we were on our way. We shopped for three hours and at the last store, I found the dress. When I came out of the dressing room, my mother and Julia gasped.
“It’s perfect!” My mother exclaims. I turn to look in the mirror and I am pleasantly surprised. My mother is rushing off to find some shoes.
“Jackson will definitely pay attention to you in that!” Julia exclaims. I look at my reflection. The dress is a deep red that hugs my curves to perfection. The draped one shoulder neckline shows off what cleavage I have. The skirt is short, but still classy, showing off my legs. The red brings out my skin tone and blond hair. My mother returns with a pair of diamond encrusted silver stilettos to complete the look.
The shoes make my legs look longer. After buying the dress and shoes, my mother drags us to a jewelry store. After trying on an array of diamonds, I settle on a simple solitaire diamond necklace and then I went all out on the earrings. They look like mini chandeliers made of diamonds. I love them. I am leaning over, looking at them in the mirror when I notice Julia tense up.
“Well, hello, what a pleasant surprise.” My mother squeals. I glance up and my eyes mesh with a pair of icy blue ones. Jackson and Brooklyn in a jewelry store? Brooklyn wraps a possessive arm around Jackson’s waist. He leans in and kisses her head. My gut drops. I glance away, looking everywhere but at them. I tell the salesperson I want to look at a diamond bracelet.
“Oh, you know how it is… we are just looking.” Brooklyn says secretly. Totally, going to puke right now, punch her in the face, or even worse… break out into tears.
“Jackson, I’m so happy for you!” My mother says cheerfully. Really, MOM!
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves! We are just looking.” Jackson replies panicky and I can feel his eyes on the back of my head. I will not turn around. Brooklyn just giggles. I’m trying on the bracelet, trying to hold the tears back.
“Well, let’s go look then, silly. Bye ladies and Carter.” Brooklyn says, I glance back and see her dragging Jackson over to the engagement area. He glances back and our eyes meet. He looks guilty and he should, damn it. I give him a nasty look and return to the salesperson.
“I’ll take this as well.” He nods and adds it up with my earrings and necklace. Julia comes up beside me and grips my hand, just letting me know she is there. After handing over my platinum credit card and spending a small fortune, I feel more composed.
“Oh honey, beautiful choices. You are going to look gorgeous. Now, we need to get you a date!” My mother exclaims loudly. I groan out loud as my mother lists off potential dates. All of them are stuffy politicians, lawyers, sons of politicians or lawyers. Boring. As we head out the door, I hear my mother say goodbye to the loving couple. I follow her and Julia, pausing slightly to look back. Jackson is watching me, and I can’t help it… I flip him off. Luckily, Brooklyn is too absorbed in trying on a ring to see it. I see the regret cross his face. With that, I turn away and silently weep.
Chapter Seven
“Carter, are you ready, honey?” My mom asks from my bedroom. I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. My hair is down with my sides pulled back with diamond barrettes. I smile at my reflection and I can tell it is fake. How am I supposed to face Jackson? I can’t help but obsess over the fact that they were looking at rings. What does it mean? How long is this cover supposed to last? Are they seriously going to get married? This could be the end of us, if there ever was an us.
“Carter?” There is a knock on the bathroom door.
“Coming.” I take a deep breath and open the door.
“Oh, honey, you look stunning.” I’m wearing a simple black cocktail dress that I dressed up with diamonds on my throat, ears, hands, and wrists.
“Thank you, so do you.” I respond, taking in the beauty of my mother.
“Are you okay? You look a little tired.” I was tired, tired of my feelings for Jackson.
“Yeah…Mom, have you ever wanted something so bad, but you just feel like you will never get it?” I ask. I can tell I have surprised her. I’m not one to confide my feelings.
“Of course, honey. I’ll tell you what my mother always told me. If it is meant to be, it will be. Are we talking about a certain someone?” I ignore her question.
“Is this the life you imagined?” I ask. I know she can’t be happy. She tilts her head, looking at me and thinking. She takes a hesitate breath.
“No, it wasn’t the life I imagined, things didn’t exactly turn out how I hoped. But I will never regret having you or this life. You are my life worth living. Carter, I knew deep down that your father was how he is, but when I was young… I thought I could change him, make him love me like I loved him. Don’t misunderstand me, your father cares deeply for me, we have a very good relationship in most aspects. I’m his confidante, his partner, and best friend. For me, that is good enough. I love him enough, for it to be good enough. It’s up to you, if you want to be just good enough.”
“Do you think…. that…. never mind.” She looks at me with pity.
“He does care for you very much. Anyone who looks closely enough sees it. Your father sees it and it worries him. But Jackson is like your father in many ways. He will do what he has to do. You are the lucky one. You are the one he will always want and can’t have. She will know that he is thinking about you when he is supposed to be with her. She will know that she can’t make him as happy as you can. She will know that she will never compare to you. She will know deep down that she does not complete him. She is just good enough.” My mother has tears in her eyes, and I see that she is speaking from her experiences with my father. I realize then that my mother is just like Brooklyn, the cover. She wipes a tear and gathers herself back together. My composed, perfect mother is back.
“Come on now, it’s time to get going.” She says, walking back into my room. I follow her, she stops at the door of my bedroom, turning slightly.
“It will get better over time.”
“Thanks, Mom, I love you.”
“Love you too, baby.”
I finish getting ready and join my mother and father in the foyer. I watch them as they interact with each other. They do look like the perfect couple and I can see that my father treats my mother like an equal. It’s in his mannerisms. He lightly touches her arm, speaks directly in her eyes, and is attentive when she responds. Yes, that seems lovely, but I want more. I want the fairytale, I always have. If Jackson proposes to Brooklyn, I have to move on. I will not settle for less.
“Alright, my beautiful ladies, let’s go.” My father’s voice cuts through my thoughts. We leave and get into the back of the limo. I always dread the Mitchell’s annual Christmas party. It’s always so boring. Besides, I will have to stomach seeing Jackson and Brooklyn together.
We arrive at the Mitchell’s mansion and stepping into the entrance I can tell that Betsy Mitchell did not hire the same party planner as my mother. It looks like Christmas threw up everywhere. Betsy greets us as we walk into their ballroom. There are Christmas lights surrounding every surface, including the ceiling and the glass doors that leads to their gardens.
“I’m so glad you could make it to my little get together.” Betsy exclaims. Little? There is lik
e one hundred people here.
“It looks amazing in here, Betsy.” My mother says, but I can tell she is just being nice. My father exchanges pleasantries with Mr. Mitchell and then departs quickly into the crowd. I glance around trying not to look obvious. I feel his eyes on me. Like a beacon of light, the crowd parts just enough where I can see him. He is beautiful. My chest aches at the sight of him. He gives me a slight nod in acknowledgement and then turns back towards the group he is speaking with. Brooklyn is on his arm and she has not seen me yet. I detach myself from my mother and start roaming around the room.
“Well, hello there.” I glance behind me and see a very handsome young man looking at me.
“Hi… I’m sorry, do I know you?” I ask. He looks vaguely familiar.
“No, I’m here visiting my cousin. I’m not from around here.” He says with a blinding smile. He has a slight accent, but I can’t tell where he is from.
“Oh, how nice. Well, hope to see you around.” I say, dismissing him. He’s hot, but I’m not in the mood.
“Wait!” I turn back to him.
“So, you’re just going to dismiss me like that. Seems kind of rude.” He says, still smiling.
“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be.” I say, but I’m distracted as I watch as Jackson leans over and kisses Brooklyn’s cheek. You know what, screw it. I turn to the guy and give him a smile.
“What’s your name?” I ask, giving him my full attention. Surprise in his eyes accompany his blinding white smile.
“Alex. You?”
“Carter.” He sticks out his hand and grasps mine. Then he turns it over, kissing it.
“It’s lovely to meet you. Would you like a drink?”
“Sure, why not.” He leads me over to where the bar is set up.
“What would you like?” I gesture to one of the other guests. The thing looks like Christmas in a glass.
“I’ll have whatever that is.” He tells the bartender and we wait as our drinks are made.
“So, what’s fun to do around here?” Alex asks.
“Depends what kind of fun you are into?” As soon as it leaves my mouth, I realize how provocative it sounds. He raises his eyebrows at me and gives out a chuckle. His eyes sparkle with amusement.
“That’s not how I meant it!” I say with a laugh. He hands me my drink and I take a sip. Holy Moly, cinnamon galore! After the initial surprise, it’s actually pretty yummy. At least the drinks taste good at this shindig. Alex steers me over to an empty table and pulls out a chair. I take a seat. He sits right next to me.
“So, are you here alone? Is anybody going to be upset that I stole their date away?” I glance over at Jackson and see him staring at us. His focus turns to Alex. I can tell he is trying to place him. I shift my eyes to Alex.
“Nope, all alone.” I respond, taking a sip, “Where are you from, Alex?”
“Ah, so we are going to do the ‘let’s get to know each other’ with boring questions.”
“Sounds about right.” I say. He notices that my drink is empty and gestures for a waiter to refill it. The sounds of Christmas music mingles in with conversations surrounding us.
“How about you just tell me all the juicy gossip about all these pretty people here?” He says with a laugh. “like what about those two?” He points to Mr. and Mrs. Everingston.
“Okay, well, Mr. Everingston is extremely wealthy, but not such a looker as you can see. His wife is obviously the typical trophy wife. She is having an affair with that man over there. His pretty little wife is pregnant as you can see.” I gesture to the couple I’m referring to. He leans close to me.
“Please tell me more!” He whispers in my ear, with a little chuckle. I laugh and continue to entertain him with more stories about the guests. We laugh and joke around. Alex is a charmer and I’m having a good time with him. These Christmas drinks are amazing! I’m getting a little buzz, so I start to slow down on my third drink.
“It’s getting hot in here. Do you want to take a look at the gardens?” I ask, already standing up. The room spins slightly. I take a breath to regain my composure. Damn, I should have stopped at two. Alex stands up with me and takes my elbow, helping to steady me.
“Thanks. I just got a little light headed from standing so quickly.” I say, a little embarrassed. I look over towards the doors that lead to the garden and see Jackson speaking with my father. They both glance over at me. They look a little concerned. I don’t look that drunk, do I? Their attention is grabbed by a Senator. I grab Alex’s hand and we make our way to the doors. Jackson’s eyes are following us. I can tell he is getting ready to stop us, but the Senator asks him a question, distracting him. Alex opens the door for me, and cold air immediately hits me.
“Oh, this feels so much better than that stuffy room.” I say. Alex squeezes my hand. We are on a large patio that has stairs leading down into the gardens. The gardens look magical with their twinkling lights draped in the greenery.
“Shall we?” Alex asks, his arm out gesturing towards the pathways of the gardens.
“Sure, why not!” I say. I know I’m going to be shivering my butt off in my dress, but I really don’t want to go back in. We stroll down the stairs and soon lose ourselves in the gardens. The hedges are high and soon the sounds of the party are muted.
“You really are beautiful.” Alex says.
“Oh, I see, we are alone now, and you think you can just seduce me into a little hook up out here.” He laughs.
“Definitely not my intention.” He says, laughing. He escorts me farther into the gardens. I glance behind me because I could have sworn, I heard footsteps. Alex just keeps walking. I shrug it off and listen as Alex talks about the fountain we passed. I could care less what the fountain represents. We stroll into a secluded section. It’s nice and private. Once we stopped walking, I feel the cold air seeping into my skin. I start to shiver.
“Oh, you must be freezing. Do you want to head back?” I look up at him and see that he has moved closer to me. He leans in whispering in my ear.
“Are you sure you wouldn’t want me to warm you up?” I step back. The words are said with aggression and his accent seems much heavier. I take another step back, searching his face. His smile seems a little forced now. What the hell?
“You really are gorgeous. I can see why my uncle was a fool.” Fuck! That’s why he looks familiar. I turn to run, but he grabs me by the hair. Nicholas’s nephew. I guess they figured out who I was.
“Oh no, my little bitch. Your time has come.” He jerks me to face him, causing me whiplash. I break from his hold and start fighting for my life. He is good, but I know I’m better. I throw a punch to his nose and I feel it break. Blood starts pouring, but he doesn’t even react, he just keeps coming. I dodge his punches, but he ducks down, wrapping his arms around my waist, slamming me to the ground. He pins me down with his legs and both hands are gripping my neck. Oh no. I start bucking and twisting. I reach up as he is chocking me and scratch his face. He relaxes his hold slightly and I catch a tiny breath. I keep scratching until he lets go with one hand to pin my arm down. I take advantage and push my whole body sideways. I scramble out of his hold. I get to my feet as fast as possible. He comes after me again, but this time I’m ready. With his momentum, I duck down and flip him over my shoulder. As soon as he hits the ground, I’m on him and I punch him with all my might. He is out cold. I stand up, taking deep breaths.
I hear clapping. I jump up, but then I notice it is just Jackson stepping out of the shadows.
“Took you long enough.” He says. I push some stray hairs out of my face.
“Thanks for your help.” I state sarcastically.
“I would have stepped in if I thought you were in trouble.” He says crouching down next to Alex. Alex is starting to come to, but Jackson is already pushing him up into a sitting position. He grabs is arms, putting them behind his back and is zip tying his wrists together. Alex starts to fight against Jackson, but Jackson holds tight.
“Y
ou bitch.” Alex yells at me. Jackson jerks him hard. Alex tries to spit on me.
“You killed my uncle, I will destroy you.” Alex spouts off at me.
“Actually, I was the one that sliced your uncle’s throat.” Jackson hangs on as Alex flips out. Four men dressed in black appear out of the shadows walking towards us. They are from the organization. They take a struggling Alex from Jackson.
“This is not over. We are coming for you.” Alex yells back at us. One of the men, punches him in the face, knocking him out.
“Well, that went great.” I say, dryly. Just my luck, I find an attractive guy who I think might be interested in me, but what do you know, he just wants to kill me.
“Come on, let’s get back, before they notice we are gone.” Jackson says.
“How did you know to follow me?” I ask curious. Were you may be jealous? Yeah, right.
“I thought he looked familiar and it kept bugging me. I asked your father who he was, and your father had no clue. Then I remembered what I had studied about Nicholas. I knew his brother had a son. That’s when it clicked. We knew there was a possibility that they would come after you.”
“No one thought to let me know?” I ask irritated.
“Carter, every time you go on a mission, there is a possibility of backlash. That’s how this works. Our jobs are dangerous. That’s why we don’t let a lot of people close to us.”
“So, when you get married, aren’t you worried about Brooklyn and any children you have?” He gives me a side glance.
“It’s a cover. I’m hoping it doesn’t get that far.” So, he keeps telling me.
“So, you don’t want to marry Brooklyn?”
“No, I don’t. Look, Carter, I’m trying my best here. I don’t know what to tell you. I have my orders.”
“What about us?” I can’t stop myself from asking him.
No Regrets Page 6