No Regrets

by B. B. Donnelly

  “You are safe here. I won’t tell anyone. Besides, I already knew you would come here. Your father told me where to find Charlie a long time ago. I think he even forgot that I knew. When are you going to trust me?”

  “When you quit breaking my heart.” I blurt out. I want to smack myself in the head for saying that. He looks a little shocked, but then he slowly nods.

  “I know you are angry, and we really didn’t get to discuss the note I left.” He says looking down.

  “Angry? I’m not angry, in fact. I’m over everything. I’m over whatever this is or was. Jackson, you were my friend and the one person I thought would always be on my side.” I take a breath, “I need people that believe me and believe in me.”

  “You can’t believe that. I’m always here for you. You are just angry, and I understand. I’m angry too.” He says looking me in the eyes.

  “Oh, for god sakes I’m not doing this right now. You will know when I’m angry.” I start to walk away from him and the conversation.

  “Please, Carter.” He pleads. I don’t turn around, but I stop.

  “Open your eyes. Look at what they did to Julia. Her own mother. What will it take for you to see?” I don’t look behind me. I just keep walking.

  When I come downstairs, I walk into the kitchen to see Charlie and Julia talking quietly. Julia has an ice pack on her cheek. Charlie avoids my eyes. When Julia sees me, she throws the ice packet down and jumps up, clinging to me.

  “Oh my god, Sparks, I was so worried about you. Don’t ever leave without telling me again!”

  “I’m so sorry, Julia. I had no idea that they would do this to you.” I say, squeezing her tight. I let go, when I hear her gasp in pain. I apologize, but she just waves me off.

  “It’s not your fault. Cowboy tried to warn me.” I meet Jackson’s eyes as he walks back into the kitchen and mouth, thank you. I lead Julia back over to the couch. When she is comfortable, I join the guys in the kitchen.

  Charlie makes me another glass of wine and offers Jackson a beer.

  “No, I’m good; I have to get going soon.” Jackson says. Jackson watches as Charlie comes over, hands me the glass of wine, and then surprises me by throwing an arm around me. I look up at him in confusion. What the hell is he doing?

  “Engagement party?” Charlie asks, being an ass. Jackson glances between Charlie and I. Jackson’s eyes narrow in on Charlie. A look passes between them.

  “I see.” Jackson says with a dark look. What the hell is that about?

  “No, actually, I have to work.” Jackson says, picking up his coat.

  “Is that what we call it?” Charlie says snidely. Jackson gives him a death glare.

  “Charlie.” I say in warning, smacking him on the arm. Charlie just rolls his eyes. Jackson looks between us again and I see the jealousy. Charlie looks down at me and winks. Stupid pig-headed men! Jackson is clenching his hands.

  “Let me know if you need anything.” Jackson says, looking straight at me and ignoring Charlie.

  “No worries, we will be just fine.” Charlie says giving Jackson a knowing smile and squeezes me closer. Jackson just looks at him, his jaw clenching. With that, he walks out of my life…. again.

  Chapter Eighteen

  After feeling like someone peed on me to mark their territory, I leave Charlie without a word and sit next to Julia. I pull her legs on top of my lap. Charlie just stalks by us with a pissed off look. When he slams the office door, Julia gives me a what the hell is up with him look. I just shrug. Then she gives me a knowing smile which looks bad with her split lip.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask her with concern. My heart breaks for her. My parents had their faults, but I know they would never have beaten me like that. She shakes her head and looks down. I pat her knee.

  “I’m here when you want too.” I say. She looks up and gives me a small nod. We sit there in silence when I hear her stomach grumble. She looks up and we both burst out laughing. I get up and go into the kitchen. I fix her a turkey sandwich. When I plop back down, she takes a slow bite. I see her grimace in pain and I feel guilty once again.

  “Quit looking at me like that. It isn’t your fault. You’ve been through worse than me. Maybe not physically, but definitely mentally.” She says in her no-nonsense voice.

  “I think we have both been through hell.” I state and look out the bay window into the night.

  “So, what’s up with the guys?” She asks with a twinkle in her eye. I’m so pleased to see it; I ignore my own pain and decide to confide in her. I tell her everything. She looks disgusted when I tell her about the note.

  “What an asshat!”

  “I know, right.”

  “But, how was it?” She asks giving me a mischievous grin. I throw a couch pillow at her. She catches it laughing.

  “Well?” She insists.

  “It was amazing and beautiful.” I say with a heartfelt sigh. She gives me a small smile full of pity.

  “But it is over.” I say with determination. She looks at me like she doesn’t believe me, “I’m serious. It is.”

  “Okay, if you say so.” She says and then hesitates before continuing, “it’s just I saw how you guys look at each other. There are times when I would catch him staring at you and I would think, ‘God, I wish someone would look at me like that.’ I just think it is a shame to let a love like that go away.”

  “It wasn’t really my choice.” I respond quietly. She leans up and pats me on the arm. Then falls back with a grimace.

  “But enough about me. What about you?” She rolls her eyes.

  “What about me?” She says closing her eyes.

  “Uh, hello, Logan. Don’t think I didn’t notice!” Her eyes fly open.

  “How did you know?” She asks.

  “Because I saw the looks between you two. I saw how protective he was of you.” I watch the emotions flicker across her beautiful face.

  “I… I love him and I’m pretty sure he loves me. At least, he told me he did. But where is he? He left two days after you without a word. I don’t know what that means. I don’t know if he is okay, especially after what happened to me.”

  “Well, I do know that Jackson was watching out for you guys for me. Maybe he sent Logan somewhere.”

  “God, I hope so. Our last conversation was about you. When we found out about Max, Logan stopped talking to him. He made it very clear he didn’t agree with what Max had done. He felt it was a betrayal to our team. Logan is our team leader and for Max to go behind his back…. And to hurt a teammate like that… well, it didn’t settle well with him.”

  “Do you think I can trust Logan?” I ask, all serious. She looks me straight in my eyes.

  “With your life and mine.” She doesn’t even hesitate or blink.

  “Okay, then. Let’s find Logan and bring him here.”

  “Are you serious?”

  “Of course. I need help and I can’t think of anyone better than my two best friends.” I see her getting excited, and then her face falls.

  “I have a reason to never go back. What if this isn’t what he wants? What if he wants to stay?” Julia says softly. I can hear the uncertainty in her tone.

  “You mean leaving the organization or being with you?”

  “I know for a fact he isn’t happy with how things are being run so I guess both. But more so leaving the organization for me.” Her eyes are downcast.

  “Well, don’t sweat it. He won’t be leaving the organization for only you. He is leaving the organization for our team. We are broken Julia. Max betrayed me. Your mother hurt you. Logan is alone now. We need to salvage our team. We never leave a teammate behind.” I say with determination, “except Max of course.” Julia laughed at that.

  Charlie comes out of the office, holding his empty beer bottle. He catches sight of us laughing on the couch. He stops and looks at us.

  “What the hell are you guys up to now?” He asks, annoyed. We look at each other and smile.

  “Go
d help me.” He says catching on that we have something up our sleeve.

  “We need your help.” I say.

  “Isn’t this enough?” He asks, gesturing to his place, “Please don’t tell me I have to pick up some tampons.”

  “Actually, now that I think about it….” Julia says with a smile and a wink to me. Charlie groans. Guys are such babies when it comes to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

  “No, we do not need tampons. This is serious.” I say and that gets his attention.

  “Well, it is going to have to wait. I have a mission tonight. Your uncle authorized it.” I jump up from the couch.

  “Do you think...?” I ask, wondering if it is a mission outside of the organization. He nods affirmatively. This is it. I can show my uncle, I’m his equal.

  “What’s going on?” Julia asks. I fill her in on everything to do with my uncle’s evil ways while Charlie gets prepped.

  “But that is the reasoning he gave for the kill order on your father.” I see the understanding light up on her face.

  “You mean to tell me, he did everything he accused your father for?” She asks, getting angry.

  “Yep and I’m going to get the proof, starting with this mission.” I hear Charlie call me from the office. I leave Julia to watch television and rest. Charlie looks up from his seat in front of the computers.

  “Are you ready?” He asks.

  “Yes, debrief me.” I command. He gives me an eyebrow raise.

  “Please.” I say with a smile. He rolls his eyes at me, but I see his adorable dimples peeking out.

  “Well, I figured that sense we just got done with a mission, the timing of this mission is a little suspicious. Your uncle also gave me a few extra’s like the target’s name. He normally does not do that. I looked up the target and this guy is completely clean. He is an undercover FBI agent working his way through the Cartel. Someone outside the government paid your uncle to take out this FBI agent. My guess is the Cartel found out about the FBI guy and hired your uncle, knowing he is a traitor to the United States government, which would cover their asses if they are caught. I mean, just blame it on the U.S. Government. They took out their own. Make sense? There is nothing to indicate that this guy is dirty, and I would know. That’s what I do. I clean house when I have too.” I think that is the most I have heard Charlie talk. He is getting excited. His eyes are stuck on the screen.

  “I have twenty minutes before the team is dispatched. How do you want to do this?”

  “Do you have a way to contact the FBI agent?”

  “I can find it.” He taps around and different photos and documents fly across the many screens. He stalls on one and points at the screen. He hands me a disposable phone.

  I dial the number. Please, answer. Finally, on the fifth ring, he picks up.

  “Hello.” A deep voice with a Mexican accent answers. I look back at the screen. The code word used to identify the government is Club. Shithole is supposed to be his response.

  “How was the club?” I ask and he immediately goes quiet.

  “Oh, you know, basically a shithole.” I’m relieved to hear that it is safe for us to talk.

  “You need to leave immediately. There is a hit on you, and they are headed your way. They know you are FBI. Get your family and leave the country for a while. Understood?”

  “Yes, who is this?” I can hear the panic in his voice.

  “A very good friend to have. Now go, you have less than fifteen minutes before they arrive and good luck.” I hang up on him, praying he will listen. Charlie pulls up the floor plan of the apartment and then somehow finds the agent. He is red and orange. It looks like he is pacing. I want to scream. Why are pacing, get the hell out!

  “Do you think he will go?” Charlie asks, having no choice but to dispatch the team. We watch the infra body in the apartment building.

  “I don’t know. I hope so. I think it helped that we used the government code words. I guess we will see.”

  He indicates that he is now in contact with the team. I stay quiet, but I’m excited to see the red and orange man has left the house and is heading in the opposite direction of the team.

  “Team 1 is on site. Where is the target located?” I hear Mustang’s voice come over the radio. Charlie and I look at each other with dread. It has become apparent that Mustang is working for my uncle. He is now the main one going on the extra missions. Jackson will be so upset. I see the blue dots starting to surround the house.

  “The target is no longer in the house. He must have slipped out in last few seconds.” Charlie says, sounding pissed off.

  “Team 2 is on site.” My heart drops when I hear the voice. Max. Of course, the little traitor would be working for my uncle. I can’t wait to get him alone in a room and beat the shit out of him. I’ll probably just kill him after I ask him ‘Why?’

  “Torch, take your team in through the back. Take a look around. I will station your team to stay and see if he returns.” Mustang commands. So, that is why Mustang betrayed Jackson. He had always been jealous of Jackson being the leader and now he is the leader of my uncle’s little mercenary group.

  “Confirmed.” Max responds. We watch as both the teams enter the house. After a while, one team leaves and one stays behind.

  “Target is missing. His belongings are still here so he may return. Team 2 will be left behind to wait and eliminate the target.” Mustang informs Charlie.

  “Understood.” Charlie reports back. He clicks off the communication between him and the teams. He turns to look at me.

  “Well, that was pretty easy.” He says with a smile. I look back at the team that Max is leading.

  “I have a feeling it won’t always be like this.” I say in all seriousness.

  “You do realize that if he finds out that you’re helping me, he will kill you.” I say, meeting Charlie’s gaze.

  “It’s worth the risk. Someone has to stop him.” He says with a shrug.

  “We need more help.” I say, delicately approaching our plan. I tell him about my idea to get Logan and he stares at me with wide eyes.

  “You are crazy. What if they catch you?” He asks.

  I give him a wink, “It’s worth the risk.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Everything is in place. I found the perfect area. Charlie found out where Logan was going to be. Our plan is simple. I am bait. The team Logan is on is doing some recon on a laundry business across the street from a coffee shop. It had potential mob connections. It is also what has kept him busy for a couple of days.

  I’m going to be in the coffee shop across the street. My hope is that they will spot me and come after me. I chose an alley that is dark and deserted. I’m a little nervous, I mean there are so many holes in this plan, it is like a noodle strainer, but here goes nothing.

  I come in through the back of the coffee shop. I’m not quite ready to give up my spot. I pull the hood of my sweatshirt over my hair. My sunglasses cover half of my face. I do not need the complication of being recognized as the missing Drazen girl. I take a seat at a table in the corner, where I can see the black government issued van. It doesn’t say anything that shows it belongs to the government, but I know our vehicles. From what I can tell, there are three or four agents in the van. I tap my earpiece.

  “Charlie? Is Flint in the van?” I ask, softly, using Logan’s code name.

  “Yes, along with Tex, Mustang, and…Cowboy.” I hear his worry. Jackson’s team is not one to be reckoned with. They are good, really good. What was I thinking? Of course, Jackson would put Logan on his team. I mutter a curse word.

  “Hey, you can do this. Julia is in position. I know exactly what those boys are doing. I will let you know when you are spotted and what the orders are.”

  “Thanks, Coach.” I say, appreciating his little pep talk. He chuckles and the line goes silent. This is it. I don’t what to drag this out. My katana is hidden in my sweatshirt, along with my knives. I’m praying I won’t be forced to use my gun.
I stand up and make my way to the front door. I deliberately look away from the van. I tap the earpiece while pushing a blond hair out of my face.

  “I’m on the move.”

  “Understood.”

  It may be my imagination, but I feel eyes on me. Just as I thought, I hear Charlie’s voice.

  “Mustang spotted you and called in your location. I’m waiting for your uncle’s orders.”

  I slip into the alley.

  “Understood.” I pull myself up onto the fire escape. From this vantage point, I’m hidden in the shadows. I had placed a pile of trash on the fire escape to help camouflage me when I was up here. I quickly get into position. I’m taking off my sunglasses, when Charlie’s panicked voice comes through.

  “Okay, things just got real. Your uncle ordered the team to bring you in alive or dead. They are coming your way… Flint, Cowboy, and Mustang. Tex is left to watch the laundry mat.”

  Shit! He ordered my death! What an asshat! Okay, I think Logan is on my side, Jackson’s loyalty is questionable, but I know he would never hurt me, Mustang is a definite threat and I will take him out of the equation quickly. God, I hate my uncle!!

  “Understood, I’m going for Mustang first.” I hear the van’s doors open and shut. Three doors. I hear their footsteps. I watch as they cautiously approach. Logan and Jackson are the first to walk past me. They stay clear of the fire escape. I wait silently as Mustang comes to stand right underneath me. He is such a dumbass. It is no wonder he is not a leader.

  “Where is the bitch?” Mustang says with a sneer. Jackson gives him a pointed look, telling him to shut up.

  “I don’t know what the big deal is. She is just a little girl. I could take her in my sleep.” He brags. The others move forward investigating and ignoring him. I make my move. I drop down, hanging from the bottom of the fire escape and swing myself. When he turns around, I push all I have into him, kicking him hard in the head. And…. timberrrrrr…. he is out. It was done quickly and quietly. The others haven’t noticed him yet.

  “Night, night, bitch.” I whisper. I stand in the center of the alley, legs spread wide and hands on my hips.