by J. L. Drake
“I was so scared.” She pressed her forehead into my chest. “When Frank shared what had happened, it was like someone was squeezing my chest, and each breath made it tighter and tighter.”
“I’m sorry,” I kissed the top of her head and wrapped my arms around her, “and I’m sorry you heard what happened like that.”
We stood there for a while. She needed my strength, and I needed her comfort. She smelled like home, and I buried my nose further into her neck and drank in her scent. I never thought I needed a woman. Until I’d met Sloane, I was content to be alone. Figured I’d be married to the job forever.
Whoa, where was I going with this?
“Oh, wow,” she whispered and pulled out of my hold, “it’s snowing.”
Little flakes of white fell from the dark sky and started to blanket the field.
“You know what they say about the first snowfall of the month?”
“What?” Her eyes looked intensely blue against her gray sweater. All I now wanted in this life was to be able to stare into those pools of blue and know they were for me only.
“You’re supposed to kiss the one you love to keep them close forever.”
Her tongue darted out and licked her bottom lip. I instantly grew hungry but reined in my desire to ravish her. Instead, I threaded one hand into her cold, silky hair, and the other slid down her side to her hip to settle on her bottom.
“Keep me close forever, then.”
Her words warmed me from the inside out. I didn’t waste any more time and sealed my lips to hers. The moment I did, her body relaxed, and her arms wrapped around my neck. We were lost in each other. I didn’t care that we were on display for the world to see. I had fallen for someone, and for once in a very long time, I allowed myself to be happy.
I slipped my hand into my pocket and tapped my phone that was set to play one of my favorite songs.
“Dance with me,” I whispered against her lips.
“But there’s no—” She trailed off when the speakers switched on and Brothers Osborne’s Love the Lonely out of You began to play. “Oh.” She smiled up at me and allowed her arms to drape over my shoulders. We slowly moved about. The snow acted as a privacy curtain, letting us have a moment that was just ours. When the chorus came, I whispered the last part into her ear, and she held me tighter. Whether we both realized it or not, we were lonely, and sometimes it took a person coming into your life for you to see that.
Our shadows cast out across the snowy ground. It wasn’t often that I would ever take the time to stop and really take in something so intimate, but it was obvious to me that we truly belonged together.
When the song ended and jumped over to a Chris Stapleton song, I removed her arms and nodded for her to follow me. I opened the old leather trunk my grandfather used when he was young and pulled out a bunch of blankets. I laid them on the hay like I used to do as a kid and made us a makeshift bed.
Ellie and I would spend most of our summers up here. Sometimes we would pretend we lived in the boxcar of a train. Our favorite thing was to go up there whenever there was a storm. We both still loved storms.
“Come here.” I pulled her down and waited until she tucked herself in beside me. The way we were lying, we could see the outside, and we watched as big, fat snowflakes drifted past the light of the open loft doors.
Her hand inched its way up my shirt and started to outline my stomach.
“You’re so warm.”
“I guess that’s why I love the cold so much.” I sighed, loving how she felt next to me.
“I love the cold too, but I’m never as warm as you are right now.”
I moved the blankets up higher before I flipped my body over top of hers.
“Maybe I can help you with that. I have plenty of heat to share.” I grinned.
“Yes, please.” She used her leg to brush by my growing erection before she undid her jeans. “They say the best way to stay warm is to be skin to skin.”
“That they do.” I pulled my shirt over my head and shimmied out of my jeans while she stripped down, removing everything. I slowly dragged my fingers from her ankle up to her thigh, and continued to her stomach, then I flattened my hand out and felt her muscles twitch and tighten. I dipped my thumb down and found her greedy bud swollen and ready.
Her hands covered her face, and she granted me a soft moan.
“Sloane, let me see your face.” She dropped her hands and bunched the blanket in her fists.
I continued to massage her until she was slick and ready. Her legs squeezed my sides and drew me forward.
“Hungry, are we?” I chuckled. “Me too.” I dragged my tongue from the bottom of her opening, between her folds, and blew a stream of warm air across her sensitive skin.
“John,” she half laughed and cried a plea for relief.
I glanced up at her nipples that were tight little peaks. Her body was ready, and as much I as wanted to play and explore, I wanted to give her what she wanted.
Pushing two fingers inside her, I hovered over her and watched her wild eyes as they latched on to mine. The moment I did, I knew I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I pulled free and held the base of my erection and sank ever so slowly into the woman who had flipped my life upside down. Her back bowed the deeper I went. I didn’t stop until I was fully in. She was warm, tight, and soft. If I could live anywhere in the world, it would be right here.
Sloane suddenly reached up and pulled herself to straddle me, so we were both sitting upright. She held on to my neck and let her hair fall like a curtain around us. Her smile touched her eyes, and the skin on her chest blushed bright pink.
Slowly, she started to rock back and forth and from side to side. I moved my hands down her back and anywhere else I could reach.
“Meet me at the peak?” I grinned at my reference to our approaching orgasms.
Her pace was too slow, and I started to feel like I was losing self-control. With both hands, I held on to her hips and thrusted deeper, which forced her forward to bend over my shoulder with a throaty groan.
I repeated the action a few more times until I felt her shake and moan through an orgasm. I licked her neck, nibbled on her ear, and picked up the pace again.
Hot licks of anticipation lashed at my skin, sweat broke out across my back, and with my last deep thrust, I held on to Sloane with all my strength and bared my vulnerability.
A sea of colors and sounds filled my head, which seemed to go on forever. I rode the wave without a care in the world.
When I came back, she was putty in my arms. I carefully laid her next to me and wiped her silky hair off her forehead.
“Hey,” I kissed her mouth and felt her chuckle against my lips, “you know you can give a man a complex laughing so soon after sex.” I pretended to scowl.
“No,” she laughed harder and shimmied to sit up on her elbows pointed at something, “I’m thinking we just scared the shit out of Doug for life.”
I tossed my head back and laughed with her. “Trust me, the things I’ve seen on this farm, they all owe me.”
She covered her eyes and laughed harder. “Thanks for that visual.”
“Anytime, babe.” I twisted so I leaned up against a bale of hay, thankful for the blanket behind me. I gently guided her to sit between my legs and wrapped a blanket around her body then wrapped my arms around her shoulders, giving her neck a kiss.
The snow came down harder now, collecting a small amount along the edge of the doors. Sloane yawned and rested her head on my arm.
“Are we crazy?”
“It depends on who you’re asking,” I joked.
“Can we even do this?”
“You mean date?”
“Yeah, I mean, I know the others have, but their situations are different. Will it even be allowed?”
“I’m guessing, since you’re already vetted, and Frank knows you well. I mean, you’re living at Shadows, and you’re working for us. I think it’s safe to say yes.”
>
She nodded with another yawn, and I knew she wasn’t long for this world. Then something hit me, and I struggled to find the right way to ask.
“Sloane?”
“Mmm?” she murmured.
“I think the bigger question is, would you leave your life in Washington to live at Shadows with me?”
I held my breath, unsure whether I was asking something too soon.
“Would you leave Shadows to be in Washington with me, John?” She shifted to get more comfortable while I digested what she was asking of me. We both stayed quiet and watched the storm in front of us, wondering who would speak first.
I think I would leave, and that scares the shit out of me.
Chapter Sixteen
Sloane
“Hey,” Oliver stood in the doorway of the study, “I thought you might like something stronger than tea.” He set a cup of coffee on the desk and glanced at my computer screen.
“Thank you. I needed this.”
“You’ve been in here a lot the past couple of days.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and pulled off my glasses to rub my tired eyes. “I found something that has nagged at me since. It keeps leading me back to the same person, but I’m not sure why.”
“Well,” he sat on the edge of the couch and hung his head as he thought, “maybe that person is trying to tell you something?”
“Maybe.” I shrugged. “The only problem is he’s dead.”
“The dead can still speak.” He smiled. “You just need to open yourself up for the signs.”
I moved my gaze back to the computer screen and pulled my notes free. I thought for a moment, and things suddenly started to click. The change in my expression must have been obvious.
“Run with it, dear.” Oliver gave my shoulder a pat as he left me alone to follow my new train of thought.
It wasn’t until eleven that night that I climbed onto the couch. It was as if once I started to follow more clues, I couldn’t stop the flow. I wasn’t sure when I passed out, but my phone rang at 4:45 and jolted me awake.
“Hel—” I cleared the fog away from my throat. “Hello?”
“Hey, honey.” My father’s voice made me swing my legs in front of me. “I got you cleared, but you’d need to leave in fifteen to make the flight. Can you do that?”
“Yup, yes.” I shut my computer and slipped it into my bag.
“You were right, and I do believe you’re on to something. Your gut has never steered you wrong, so go with it, but if you get into trouble—”
“I’ll call, Dad. I promise.”
“Text me when you land.”
“Will do. Thanks!”
I tossed the phone in my bag and quietly rushed upstairs, careful not to wake anyone. John’s room was empty, but I didn’t have time to wonder where he was. My luck, he was out working on some crazy farm machinery, like he was forbidden to do.
In record time, I showered and packed enough for three days and hoped that if I needed to stay longer, I could find a laundromat.
A cold gust of wind shot down my jacket as I pushed my suitcase out the door and onto the porch. Holy sweet hell, it was freezing! I checked the time and saw I was cutting it close, but I had to say goodbye. The spotlight helped me locate Tripper staring up at the loft in the barn. I made my way over and thought about the last time I was there with John a week ago. Both of us had pretended we hadn’t asked the other to move in with each other. Truth be told, there was nothing keeping me in Washington. My brother was going to move closer to here, anyway. I just wasn’t ready to admit anything to myself yet. John seemed too good to be true sometimes, and if we were allowed to date and we were meant to be together, we could revisit that conversation later. I had been burned too many times with men. I wasn’t bitter or jaded, I was just realistic and cautious.
“John,” I called into the frigid morning air. I swore my breath came out and froze in place. “Black!” I tried the name the guys used.
A dark figure appeared above me, and Tripper’s tail started to wag.
“Sloane?”
“Can you come down real quick?”
He reached out for something and rappelled down the rope like a friggin’ fireman on a pole. But the pole was, like, twenty feet high, and he was still supposed to be in recovery.
Once his feet hit the ground, he turned on that sexy smile that always made my stomach coil into a warm knot.
“You’re up early.” He went to take a step toward me, but his eyes caught my suitcase in the middle of the driveway. “What’s going on?”
“I found something.” I checked my watch again and cursed the taxi for being late.
“Did you get clearance to leave?”
“I don’t need clearance to leave.” I lifted an eyebrow. “I’m not at Shadows.”
“Sloane, the last time you left, you got yourself into trouble.”
“Wow.” I held up a hand. “First, I’m a guest at Shadows—”
“Hey,” he took my hand and pulled me closer, “don’t get snappy about the fact that I care what happens to you. I didn’t mean it like that.” He wrapped his big arms around my waist, and I rested my hands on his chest. “I just meant did you let Frank know you were leaving?”
“Of course, I did. Who do you think booked my ticket?”
“Okay.” He paused, but I could tell he wanted to say something else.
“What?”
“Why are you pissy?”
“Because you’re supposed to be resting, and instead, you’re out here doing God knows what and rappelling down twenty-foot ropes. What if you fell or couldn’t hold on?”
He tossed his head back and laughed. “I’ve dropped down from a lot higher and in a lot of worse situations.” He kissed my lips quickly. “I’ll be okay.”
“You think?” I lifted my eyebrow at him again then let my smile turn into an evil one as a plan was hatched.
“What does that look mean?”
I shrugged as the lights from the taxi lit us up.
“I’ll call once I’ve landed. I’ll be in Missouri, Indiana, and possibly Iowa.”
“When will you be back?”
“When I get what I’m looking for, I guess.”
“Miss?” The taxi driver stood by the vehicle after he put my belongings inside.
“Coming.” I turned back to John and gave him a long kiss. He held me tight like he couldn’t let go. I didn’t want to go, but I knew I had to.
“Be careful,” he breathed into my ear then took a step backward.
“I will.” I rushed to the taxi and was about to step inside when he called out.
“Babe?” He waited for me to look back. “What did that look mean?”
My evil smile returned and raced across my face as I laughed darkly into the cold air.
“Call you soon.” I blew him a kiss before I shut the door and disappeared into the taxi.
I raced to make my flight and checked in just as my gate was about to close. I hurried to my seat and sent a quick text to John letting him know I’d made it.
I was surprised to find the flight was pretty empty. Maybe it was because no one wanted to go to Missouri in the winter. I smiled to myself and pulled up Mike’s number and sent him a text. He was kind enough to give it to me at the hospital after Ellie’s little moment and explained we were a family and if I needed anything to call him. My phone lit up on my lap, and I quickly sent it to voicemail. Frank could wait. I got my clearance to leave. The rest could wait.
Once we taxied and started our takeoff, I closed my eyes and let my mind slip into work mode.
***
I had slept like a log when I finally got to my hotel, and somehow was able to flag down a cab despite the amount of snow that was falling.
“Miss.” A man with a huge scar across his neck greeted me at the table with a polite nod.
“Greenburg, correct?” I settled into a chair.
“Yes, ma’am.” He prattled off his rank and what tours he’d done.
>
“Please, sit.” I motioned to the chair across from me. “I really appreciate you agreeing to speak with me today.”
“With all due respect, it beats being in there.” He pointed to a cubicle where he was a call center support tech.
“What brought you here?” I knew, but I wanted to hear his version of it.
He pulled down the collar of his shirt to show me more of his scar. “Wrong place, wrong time, didn’t clear the room right and paid the price.”
“Honorable discharge?”
“Something like that, yeah.” He rolled his eyes. “It was not how I saw my life going, but I got my girl pregnant, so here I am, trying to make enough to support us.”
“That’s very responsible of you.”
He shrugged at my comment, and I could tell he wasn’t good at taking compliments.
“I’m just going to jump in.” I pulled my glasses on and twirled a pen around my fingers. “Tell me about training with Nick Stewart.”
He closed his eyes. “That fucking guy,” he muttered.
“Not a fan?”
“He was a spoiled brat. He came from money, and we all know with money comes power, whether you deserve it or not.” He snorted.
“Go on.” I started to jot down my notes.
“When you start off in the Army, everyone is equal. You earn your stripes with hard work and discipline. You earn the respect of those around you, and you recognize your rank and act accordingly.” His thumb brushed across his nose as he twitched. “Not that way for Stewart.”
“How so?” My pen didn’t stop, but I kept my gaze on him. There was a lot of hate in this man that simmered just below the surface.
“Look,” he leaned forward and lowered his voice, “I’m not a snitch. I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, but Stewart, he bullshitted his way to the top while we all carried his load. There’s no brotherhood in that. That’s all I know about it.”