I leant back, enough to look him in the eyes. “I know,” I said softly.
We checked out. Loaded the car. Started the journey. Hearts were heavy.
As we made our way slowly down the drive I pulled down the sun visor and looked in the mirror at the gradually disappearing grand house. I’ll be back, I promised myself.
“Ready?” Ed asked.
“Yeah. How far is it?” What I meant of course was not ‘How far is it to Clare’s?’ but, ‘How long do I have to steel myself for this?’ I could feel sweat starting to prickle my face and neck despite the coldness in the car as the heating finally kicked in.
Great, I thought, Clare will no doubt be as beautiful and elegant as I’ve seen her in a picture on Ed’s phone and I will be a red, sweating mess. Ed may well regret his decision to be with me. Ever the pessimist.
“Not far, about twenty minutes,” he said, glancing over. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry, if I’m honest I’m feeling rather nervous about today and I’m having slight palpitations to tell the truth. Sorry, you don’t want to hear this. I was trying to be strong and pretend it doesn’t matter, but, well, sorry.”
Ed pulled the car to a stop just before the end of the drive. Handbrake on. He turned in his seat to face me the best he could within the confines of the seatbelt.
“I’m nervous too,” he said, holding my hand in his and stroking the back of it. “Not because I’m nervous at seeing her again, or because I’m worried about you. But the truth is, beyond you, Clare and Emma are the most important women in my life. I know you and Emma are tight, and I just hope you and Clare can get on well too. We are a small family, but we are very close. Sorry, that probably hasn’t helped with your nerves. We really should have spoken about this before, but I don’t think either of us could face having this conversation. Now we have to, as we will be there soon.”
“I’m sure it will be okay. Well, fingers crossed.”
We drove on in silence until Ed announced our imminent arrival.
I looked at myself in the mirror again. Luckily the sweating had abated before too much damage had been done to my appearance. I stared myself in the eye. Right, you, I told myself, be brave, be funny, be polite, be considerate, be yourself.
We pulled into a narrow suburban road which ran down the side of a larger property. The 1980s detached houses lined up on one side of the road. We drove to the end of the road, the palpitations starting to build with every yard that passed. Fight or flight? Fight or flight? In truth I have never been one to opt for flight, nor was it possible or appropriate on this occasion, but I could have opened the door and flung myself out if it had been an option.
We came to a stop on the drive of the last house. I got out, straightened my clothes. This can’t be as bad as some of the presentations I’ve given, I tried to reassure myself. This is going to be okay. This is going to be okay, I kept repeating to myself as we made our way, with weighted steps, to the front door.
Ed squeezed my hand as he lifted the other one to ring the bell.
A few moments later we could see movement behind the door, before it was pulled open enthusiastically to reveal a beautiful, demure, perfectly turned-out Clare standing in front of me and her handsome husband, Steve, standing behind her with a protective hand on her shoulder. Clearly this was not just about Clare and me, but also about Ed and Steve.
I would have liked it more if Clare had answered the door looking a state, with dirty clothes and dishevelled hair, with a splattering of flour on her unmade-up face. But she didn’t.
We smiled at each other, warm, friendly smiles. In truth, how could you not like a woman like this?
“Welcome, welcome,” Clare said. “It’s wonderful to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you from Ed, Dan and Emma. Come in, come in.” Clare and Steve stepped back to leave space for us to enter single file, stopping briefly for an awkward greeting, to shake hands or kiss cheeks? We both leant in for the cheek, Clare withdrawing after one. I had foolishly already committed myself to a second cheek peck and clumsily stumbled into her cheek.
“Sorry, I always go for two.” We laughed.
Steve, having seen the encounter was prepared and our greeting went much more smoothly. Ed following behind repeated the two with Clare. As I watched out of the corner of my eye I might have been mistaken but he seemed to linger on the second cheek a moment longer than was entirely necessary. He straightened and opted for a firm handshake and back slap with Steve.
I stood in the hall, unsure where to go in this unfamiliar house.
“Follow me,” Steve instructed as he strode off down the hall. I fell into step behind him, leaving Clare and Ed to follow on.
We were taken into a warm and comfy front room. A fire was blazing in the open fireplace.
“Do sit,” invited Steve. “What can I get you to drink? Wine? Fruit juice? Coffee?”
I piped up first, aware that Ed wouldn’t be drinking as he was driving, and still slightly befuddled from the drinking the night before I replied, “Coffee, if that’s okay?” Ed followed suit and Steve disappeared to make a pot of filter coffee.
Mugs in hand, Ed and I sat opposite Clare and Steve, across the low wooden coffee table with its tray of coffee, milk, sugar and biscuits. Clare and I struck up a conversation, nothing in particular, small talk, the getting-to-know-you chat of new acquaintances who just happen to both love, or have loved, the same man.
She was my competition for Ed’s affection and I could feel the palpitations starting again. I calmed myself down and focused on getting to know her. We covered all the usual topics and I found myself not only relaxing but also starting to enjoy the conversation and to like Clare.
I followed her into the kitchen to help her finalise lunch and lay it on the table.
Ed and Steve had, unbeknown to us, walked in and were standing inside the door watching us.
I saw them and jumped. “How long have you two been there?” I asked.
“Not long,” Steve said. “We came through to see if we could help but couldn’t get a word in, as you two were gabbling on so much,” he teased.
“Sit down, boys,” Clare instructed them. “We’re all ready. Chloe, Ed, you sit yourselves on the other side of the table and we’ll sit this side so we can get in and out.”
I did a quick blood test as Steve topped up our mugs and Clare brought the dishes over.
Ed had clearly briefed Clare that I was avoiding carbs, as she had made a delicious chicken Caesar salad. It was fresh, light and delicious. Of course the boys accompanied theirs with bread rolls drowned in proper butter.
“This is delicious,” I complimented Clare. “Thank you.”
I jumped slightly as I felt my knee being squeezed and looked at Ed who was giving me a cheeky smile.
Conversation continued to flow as we moved on to cheese and biscuits, fruit and more delicious coffee.
As Clare and Steve cleared the table Ed leant over, kissed me on the cheek and whispered, “Thank you,” followed by the best three words in any language: “I love you.”
“I love you too and thank you.”
He looked at me surprised. “Why thank me?” he asked, perplexed.
“Well, for a few things really. Firstly, thank you for bringing me here today, it will make the wedding much more relaxed. Secondly, thank you for introducing me to, and welcoming me into, your lovely family. And thirdly, thank you for saying you love me.”
As Clare brought over more freshly brewed coffee, there was a knock at the front door and Steve went to answer it.
A minute later Emma, Dan and Steve walked into the kitchen. We all stood and hugged and kissed cheeks and made room at the table for them to join us.
Anyone looking in through the patio doors would have seen a very happy lunch party, smiling, laughing, chatting – a close family and good friends.
Dan and Emma didn’t stay long, they had only popped in to say hello as they were passing. We wouldn’t see them again until the wedding.
Before they left, Dan took Ed aside. I found out later, he had asked Ed if he might be kind enough to put some money towards the honeymoon. The wedding costs were mounting up and they were a little short to pay for the holiday. Ed, of course, agreed not only to supplement it but to pay for it in total so they would have some spending money and wouldn’t have to miss out on anything while away.
As everyone was up saying farewell we decided to make our move as well. We had achieved what we had come to do and as the adrenaline ebbed away we were both feeling tired and still had the drive home.
Dan and Emma left ahead of us. As they walked down the drive I turned back to Clare. “Let me know if there is anything I can do to help with the wedding. I’d love to help if I can,” I said with genuine affection and meaning.
“Thank you,” she said, smiling warmly. “I will let you know.”
The drive home was much more relaxed than the drive up had been. The radio was on and we sang along to songs, chatted about the hotel, lunch and the wedding.
Arriving home in the dark we made supper, ate in front of the TV with a well-earned glass or two of wine and then hit the hay, exhausted but excited about the days and weeks ahead.
eighteen.
Procession to the processional
The next couple of weeks flew by. We practised our readings, walked, talked, danced around the kitchen and made love as often as we desired.
And then it was here. The wedding. I felt relaxed about seeing everyone, but nervous about getting up in front of them for the reading.
We had booked the Thursday and following Monday off work to give us time to travel up and a leisurely recovery time afterwards.
It was close to Christmas, it was cold and the days were short.
As we left the town on Thursday afternoon the large county church stood proud on the hill looking down on the town. It looked almost magical in the sunshine. It was a good omen for the weekend.
Ed gave me potted histories on the wedding guests as the miles passed under the wheels of the car. Finally, he drew in a deep breath and said, “And of course my mum and dad will be there.”
Wait. What? I thought as the familiar palpitations once more made themselves present.
“They can’t wait to meet you,” he continued.
I was stunned into silence. Of course they would be there, at their grandson’s wedding, why had I not thought of this? Ed had told me a lot about them during our time together, so stupid, stupid Chloe.
I tuned back in to Ed’s voice as he said, “So we’re meeting them for dinner tonight,” oblivious to the mild panic starting to grip me. It was an unnecessary reaction. I had met boyfriends’ parents before and had always got on well with them. I sat in silence trying to make sense of my feelings.
Ed was looking at me, clearly waiting for a response, or reaction, to something I had probably missed him saying.
“Sorry, that will be great. I’m looking forward to meeting them, after all you’ve told me about them, and it will be nice to meet them before the big day.”
“Are you okay? You’ve got that look on your face again, the same as you had before we had lunch with Clare and Steve.”
“Yes, yes,” I stuttered. “I, well, I hadn’t realised I’d be meeting them, I’m feeling a little nervous if I’m honest.” Not totally honest as I was, in fact, very, very nervous.
Again the reassuring knee squeeze.
“They’ll love you, as I do,” he said.
“I hope so.” I paused for a moment then continued, “It’s going to be a hell of a weekend.” I forced a smile and rested my hand on Ed’s thigh, trying to convey I was happy. Trepidation was closer to the mark.
Thankfully there were no more startling revelations over the course of the journey, much to my relief. Chatting distracted me from my concerns and I settled back into my seat.
“Mm-mmm-mm-mmm-mm.” I hadn’t realised but I had started to hum a tune as I looked out of the window at the wintry landscape. I was brought back to the present by the sound of Ed’s laughter.
“What was that?” he asked.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise I was doing that. It was meant to be a song but I’m no good at remembering words or tunes. I’m guessing you couldn’t tell what it was.”
“Um no, can you give me any clues?” Ed’s words reaffirming my complete lack of musicality.
“Unfortunately I can’t remember its name, whatever it was, it seemed apt given the time of year.”
Ed chuckled. “Well on that note, whichever one it was, or was meant to be, we’re here.”
I gave Ed a mocking laugh at his pun and looked up at the beautiful, expansive facade of the hotel.
“It really is the most beautiful setting for a wedding,” I said in appreciation as I brought the conversation back to safer ground.
“You’re not wrong,” he replied as we disembarked the car. I collected Ed’s suit and my outfit, which were hanging up in the back of the car, while Ed retrieved the weekend bag from the boot, and made our way into the lavish hall.
“Welcome, welcome,” a voice called out behind us as we stood at the reception desk. We turned in unison to find Mary, the wedding planner, marching towards us, right arm and hand outstretched already anticipating the handshake.
“It’s wonderful to see you again, how was your journey?” she asked, the perfect hostess.
We moved towards her as she approached. Ed took her lead, meeting her hand with his and smiling back at her.
“Very good, thank you. Are we the first to arrive?” he asked.
“Yes, we’re expecting Dan and your parents and in fact a number of friends later today. Emma and her family will arrive tomorrow morning keeping to tradition that the bride and groom will not see each other until the wedding.
“Everything is ready and in place for the big day,” Mary continued as she collected our room key from the equally smartly turned-out receptionist.
Mary, it seemed, was totally at the disposal of the wedding party as she personally escorted us to our room. On the way we took in all the Christmas decorations, the giant tree dominating the hall, the garlands running up the staircase, the oversized red, gold and silver baubles suspended from the ceiling. Delicate white lights twinkled from all around. It felt and smelt like Christmas.
“As father of the groom,” Mary told us over her shoulder, “you have been assigned a suite on the top floor.” It was palatial: bedroom, sitting room and, of course, bathroom.
“Well,” Ed said after hanging up our outfits in the wardrobe, “we have a few hours before we meet my parents and Dan for dinner, shall we go for a walk, take in the wintry landscape as your song suggested earlier?” He was clearly still amused by that.
“Sounds like a great idea,” I confirmed.
*
We whiled away what was left of the afternoon. Following the walk we returned to the room for a ‘rest’ before freshening up and then heading downstairs to meet the rest of Ed’s family.
Ed reached down and found my hand as we entered the bar. I glanced over to the full-height doors which opened out onto the terrace where we had enjoyed lunch in the sunshine earlier in the year, closed now to keep out the cold. The room was comfortably warm, fed by the glowing fire in the magnificent stone fireplace, the mantelpiece adorned with a Christmas garland that complemented those in the entrance hall.
Ahead of us I saw Dan, who rose to his feet as he saw us approach. He was beaming from ear to ear. In front of him with their backs to us, two more people rose from the low sofa. They turned to greet us. I stopped in my tracks and drew in a sharp breath of shock as I looked at who I assumed were Ed’s parents.
Ed turned to me, but before he could spea
k I moved forward and stuck out my hand.
“Hello, Joan, how wonderful to see you again.”
“You too, Chloe, it’s been a long time.”
We dispensed with the handshake and instead leant in for a warm embrace. Joan was just as I remembered: thin and elegantly turned out.
I turned to the man by her side. “You must be David,” I said as I leant in to kiss him on both cheeks.
“Yes,” David said, also unsure of who I was or how I would know his name.
Dan, David and Ed were all staring at us in bewilderment, clearly unable to speak. I put them out of their misery as I chuckled.
“As you may have realised we know each other. I don’t know why I never made the connection. After I finished my degree I stayed on at university to undertake research, but I needed money to pay for my living expenses. I got a job at a toy factory where I worked during the day, and then went to campus in the evenings and weekends to continue my studies. Joan was my boss. We did manage to keep in touch for some time,” I looked at Joan and she nodded her agreement, “but with house moves and job changes we seemed to lose touch,” I concluded.
Joan replied, “I hadn’t made the connection either. To be honest Ed only told me your name was Chloe so there really was no reason for me to think it could be you.”
Ed interjected, “So, that would have been when you were living in Nottingham, where I met you the first time.”
Now it was time for Joan to look confused.
“Oh my goodness, yes, how weird that I knew you both, well, only briefly in terms of you, Ed. What a very, very small world,” I said.
“It certainly is, it feels like we are coming full circle, like this is meant to be,” Ed said with a sly smile. I looked at him curiously, unsure what the smile meant but determined not to burst the bubble.
I felt a huge surge of relief as what might have been an awkward meal with strangers suddenly turned into a light-hearted and amusing walk down memory lane whilst creating new memories as the evening drew on.
Loves Lost and Found Page 24