by J. M. Briggs
“Healing chalice?” her dad repeated as another hysterical laugh threatened to escape him. “Sounds familiar.”
“Probably the mythological basis of the Holy Grail,” Alex admitted, shoving her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “But yeah. Anyway, Arthur knows what we did and he’s made it clear that the fight is still on.”
“But he was- I mean you two were-” her mom stumbled over the words, looking ill.
“He was just using me,” Alex confessed softly. She swallowed down the bile that swelled into her mouth. “Arthur manipulated Jenny and Lance too; he needed them to create the illusion that he was the Iron Soul. It was all part of the show to fool Merlin and Morgana. He just wanted information and a magical artifact.”
“Jenny and Lance…” her dad trailed off. “Oh good lord, are all the myths true?”
“Not in the sense that they are accurate,” Alex offered weakly. She took her hands out of her pockets and toyed with them again, pulling at her nails. “But a lot of the stories have some element of truth. Apparently, another life of mine was the basis for Thor and I had some connection to the Hindu God Shiva. I don’t know the whole story yet. But that doesn’t mean that all myths have a magical root. I’m sure plenty of stuff is just made up.”
She stopped talking, seeing that she was sharing a bit too much. Everyone, even Eddy, looked really to fall over. The light shining above their head didn’t help matters. To distract herself, Alex gestured towards it and willed it to break apart. It burst into dozens of tiny little lights that danced around just below the ceiling. She watched them and willed her heart rate to normalize.
“Can’t you get help from the military?” Eddy asked with wide eyes, his body language changing as the reality of what was happening sunk in.
“No!” Alex snapped before shaking her head. “Look, it’s complicated but the general consensus is that it probably isn’t a good idea for the general public to know about magic. Power attracts people, usually the wrong sort, and we don’t want them trying to make us weapons.” Alex shrugged weakly and continued, “You’re my family. I’m not worried about you trying to lock me up in a lab or weaponizing me or trying to make sure that the war never ends so that magic keeps working. Or I suppose they could do what the Sídhe have been doing and try to conquer other worlds for their resources despite the consequences. It’s complicated.”
“I can see that,” her dad agreed weakly. “Is it even safe to tell us? I mean you won’t get in trouble with… Merlin and Morgana or cause some sort of magical punishment right?”
“Why are you telling us?” Her mom put a hand on her dad’s arm to calm him.
“It’s a war,” Alex forced out with no small amount of dread and hesitation as she watched her mom’s face. “There is a chance that I’ll be hurt someday; hurt more than Morgana or even the Chalice could heal or things may go wrong and there won’t be someone there to help me.” She regretted putting it that way as her mom’s face went white. “It’s not likely. Morgana and Merlin are both very protective and the other young mages and I are a team. We work really well together and try to keep each other safe. Lance and Jenny don’t have magic, but they went with us to save Aiden because they wanted to help. I’ve got good people with me, but you should know the truth. You should know why I may have to run off sometimes, why I might ask you to do certain things to keep you safe and why someday I might not come back at all.” Alex dropped her eyes and made herself keep going. “I don’t want you wondering what you didn’t know or feeling guilty.” Tears were prickling at her eyes, but she forced herself to look around the room at all of them. “I love you, all of you, and I just don’t want to do that to you. Maybe it’s a bad choice and puts too much on you, but it feels right that you have the truth. This magic thing and the war is so much greater than one mage. I know that. I want you to know that too.”
Then Alex dropped her eyes again as the exhaustion of the morning returned with a vengeance. Her knees shook and Alex considered returning to the couch or just sitting down on the floor. Above her head, the small magical lights flickered out as Alex let the magic dissipate, unwilling to keep using it any longer than necessary. Then her mom’s arms were suddenly around her. The little girl in her instantly melted into the comforting embrace even as the mage remained all too aware of her mom’s muffled crying. Another set of arms wrapped around them both and she could feel the vibration of her dad shaking.
Closing her eyes, Alex tried to ignore the signs of their distress and couldn’t stand the idea of looking over at her brothers. This wasn’t the Christmas she’d wanted for them. This wasn’t something she had wanted to tell them, not really. But it wasn’t like in the television shows where they’d always win and come back. They’d broken even this time, but Arthur was still out there and he knew about her family. He knew that he could hurt her without ever coming near Ravenslake. He’d used Jenny for years and manipulated her. There was no honor in this fight, no treaties, and no promises.
Holding back her own sobs, Alex gripped the arms of her parents and leaned against her dad. He wasn’t shaking so badly now and managed to bring a hand up to cradle her head. This didn’t really change anything; she knew that. Winter break would be over after the New Year and she’d return to Ravenslake. There was still the problem of Arthur, the Queen and the faeries who were bound to her kill order, but for now, in this moment things were alright. She had the people she loved most with no secrets between them. They might not understand all of it, but they knew what mattered most. This thing, this grand story that her life had become was overwhelming and terrifying, but she was surviving it for all of them. That was something she could live and fight for.