toys and objects around the house, but the solution was quickly whisked away when I remembered that he would not be coming home that evening.
And as if to add further to my misery, I watched my mother escort Barry to the front door, thanking him profusely for the work he had done. As they exchanged goodbyes, I caught him quickly glance in my direction.
“Did I imagine that?” I thought with disgust, “or did he actually just wink at me?” Instantly, the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach returned, as I realized how creepy that was.
Then with an abrupt jolt, I was hit with the premonition that something very dark and foreboding lay ahead.
Embarrassment…
Reluctantly, I forced myself to face another day at school. My brother had beaten me to the bathroom that morning and in typical Matt fashion, he’d left the floor flooded with water and his wet towel draped over the edge of the tub. The room reeked of his aftershave and I turned on the exhaust fan in the hope of clearing not only the excess steam away, but the disgraceful smell of the cologne he wore each day.
“The girls love it!” he’d said with a grin when I had commented on the scent that was later wafting around the breakfast table.
I watched in fascination as he devoured his second overfull bowl of cereal; as usual, the milk spilling onto the table top each time he dipped his spoon into the depths of the concoction in front of him.
“Gross!” I’d thought to myself, in disgust, shaking my head in disbelief that what he was saying could actually be true and at the same time wondering how he could possibly eat so much.
Deep down though and while I would never confess this, I secretly felt that he was pretty cool. My friends were always going on about how good looking he was and I would roll my eyes, pretending otherwise, all the while, feeling proud that he was my brother. I’d watch him and his group of friends from afar, while I sat with my own friends in our usual lunch spot at our old school.
Sometimes, I would have to go and talk to him and pass on a message from Mom or one of the teachers and I remembered the embarrassment I’d feel as I had to cross the grassy area in full view of all the other seniors.
His friends would always make comments and direct them my way.
“Hi, Julia!”
“How’s it going, Julia?”
“I like your hair today, Julia!”
Matt would simply laugh and I could feel my face flush the way it always did when the focus of all those boys was directed towards me. I hated the way my embarrassment showed, but was completely helpless to prevent it.
I think it was probably because they were all older than me and actually quite a cool group. Some of them were really good looking as well and this just made the whole scenario that much more intense.
Although I continued to feel embarrassed, sometimes I’d make an excuse to visit Matt during breaks, knowing that I secretly enjoyed the attention I was receiving.
I remembered one time after cooking class, I’d taken some warm, freshly baked cupcakes over to his group so that he could share them with his friends. They all surrounded me and within seconds, the full platter I was holding had been emptied. The pride I had felt at their excited reaction, was one I still remember, and even Matt had been impressed, proud that it was actually his sister who had provided the unexpected treat.
After that episode, I seemed to constantly be attracting the attention of one particular member of his group.
“Any more cupcakes, Julia?” he’d ask with a cheeky grin.
“When are you cooking more cupcakes, Julia?”
The comments continued to flow and I thrived on the obvious interest that was coming from such a cool senior student. He even started calling me cupcake as a nickname and I would laugh with embarrassment, all the while, discreetly adoring all the fuss.
“I think he likes you,” my friend, Cassie had remarked one afternoon and even though I’d brushed it off, I had hoped that it might actually be true.
Visions of those memories floated through my mind as I sat alone at the back of the bus heading to school. I’d tried to convince myself to stop focusing on what I’d left behind and to simply concentrate on the present moment. This was my life now and I would just have to accept it. I’d come to that realization the night before, while I lay in bed staring out the window deep in thought. And as those thoughts crossed my mind once more, I forced myself to focus on the new life I had just so recently embarked upon.
When the bus pulled to a stop at the front gate, I sighed with relief at the sight of some friendly faces who had also just arrived. With a determined attitude, I approached the group of girls who I now called my friends and we made our way to our first class of the day.
The morning passed by smoothly. That was until it was time for Math, where to my consternation, I found that Blake and Sara were also in my class and once again seated in the back row. The biggest challenge however, was the fact that by the time I’d found my way to the classroom, only one seat remained and that happened to be right in front of Sara.
“At least it’s not beside her,” I thought to myself, as I entered the room and sat down, all the while keeping my head bowed so I could avoid making eye contact with either of them.
It was when I looked towards the teacher that I was faced with another completely unexpected sight. Mr. Jamison, who apparently was the head of the Math department, was standing at the front of the class but he was not alone. By his side, stood a young guy dressed in chinos and a fairly tight fitting collared sports shirt that accentuated the fit looking body hidden underneath. He couldn’t have been more than about eighteen or nineteen years of age. Every girl in the class was totally focused on him. Even the boys eyed him with interest. He looked pretty cool and it was obvious they were wondering who he was, as were the girls. But it was the girls who displayed the most dramatic reaction and I could feel their eyes riveted to the front.
He was extremely good looking and the girls around me began whispering and giggling to each other. As we listened intently, Mr. Jamison explained that this person, who was named Mr. Ryland and was obviously only a few years older than us, would be our Math teacher for the remainder of the semester. The original teacher had apparently taken leave due to an illness and Mr. Ryland had been assigned to replace him.
Immediately the class was abuzz with excited chatter, mainly from the girls, while the boys looked on with continuing interest.
“How old are you?” giggled one girl who sat at the front. “You don’t look old enough to be a teacher!”
We all listened intently to his response. “I’m actually twenty-two,” he explained. “I graduated from university six months ago and I’ve been a substitute teacher since then. But I’m very happy to now be a permanent teacher here.”
“We’re very happy too!” laughed a girl named Jackie.
Instantly the class cracked up and loud laughter filled the room. It was like an open invitation and it seemed that suddenly everyone was calling out their own opinions and comments.
“Do we call you sir or Mr. Ryland?” yelled Jackie from her spot near the back. She’d obviously been encouraged by the response from the rest of the class and gave the impression that she was ready to wreak havoc with the good looking, young teacher, who stood looking very uncomfortable at the front of the room.
I hadn’t actually met Jackie before but I’d noticed her earlier in the day and that was probably because she appeared to be wearing the shortest skirt of anyone in the entire school.
Just as she opened her mouth to call out once more, Mr. Jamison’s booming voice silenced the uproar and brought everyone to attention. “This noise level is totally unacceptable and if anyone chooses to continue with this sort of behavior, you’ll be given after-school detention!”
The threat of detention was all that was needed to silence the group but the minute that he departed the room, the excited chatter, although definitely more subdued, quickly resumed.
While our new teacher managed to rega
in some semblance of order, the class certainly wasn’t as quiet or as focused as they’d been when Mr. Jamison had been amongst us and it took Mr. Ryland quite some time to encourage everyone to actually pay attention to the work on the board.
I could see that most of the girls were having a hard time concentrating, and I had to admit, I was one of them. While I did manage to complete some work, I couldn’t help but continually glance in the direction of the handsome young man in front of me. I was having trouble accepting him as our teacher! Maybe things were looking up after all. I mean if I had to go to Math class, having a teacher that looked like him, certainly made it so much more enjoyable!
Obviously though, I hadn’t been discreet enough. With a jerk, I felt my chair being shoved roughly forward and it made a loud scraping sound on the worn floorboards. As soon as I turned around to see what had caused it, I instantly regretted my actions.
With an intense and unfriendly stare, Sara smirked, “Can’t keep your eyes off him, Julia?”
The laughter from everyone within earshot just added to my humiliation and I felt my face flush, the familiar burning sensation creeping rapidly over my skin.
Mr. Ryland looked to the back of the room. “What’s going on up there?” he queried.
“Oh nothing, sir,” Sara replied in that sweet voice of hers that I remembered all too well. “It’s just that Julia seems to be
Julia Jones - The Teenage Years: Book 1- Falling Apart - A book for teenage girls Page 4