by R E Gauthier
“But you can stop him if you can zero your visions in on him again.”
Kelsey wished her gift was that easy to control. She learned the hard way that she couldn’t control her gift any more than she could control the weather. When she tried to concentrate on Aisling and the night she died, her mind wandered to the woman trying to speak to her. Frustrated she would always wake up before she learned what the woman was trying to say. “I’m afraid it’s not that easy. I cannot control what I see. Nanna said that visions are dependent on emotions, concentration, and mental strength. I’m not so sure I can keep my emotions in check long enough to concentrate on Paul Washburg, and mentally I feel exhausted lately. This case was supposed to be solved. We thought we had the right man; we got the justice for the dead men and women Robert Smith terrorized. Only to find we had the wrong man the whole time. Paul Washburg has evaded us long enough. I’m not going to let us be distracted from reopening my family’s murder case.”
“I’m as frustrated as you are, but I don’t know how we are going to find the evidence to put him away when it all pointed toward Robert Smith. He planned the perfect crime, did enough to make us think Robert Smith did it and he was just another victim. I know you want to re-open your family’s case, but I don’t see how we can investigate both at the same time.”
They only had theories that Washburg killed Robert Smith, assumed his identity, stalked and killed men who were the boyfriends of young women he targeted because they were raped and had influential fathers. They couldn’t determine that Paul Washburg was reliving his battle to prove he didn’t violate his step-sister by making it look like the boyfriends raped the women and then they committed suicides because of their feelings of shame they brought to their family and their fathers. He then attacked the surviving fathers of the dead women until they too committed suicide. In all likelihood, he killed his stepfather, and he killed the two fathers who reportedly took their own lives in recent months in D. C. It wouldn’t be easy to find evidence that Paul Washburg was the real killer.
Nikki’s right. Anger bubbled up. Once again, Kelsey had something to keep her from making good on the promise she made herself when she became an FBI agent. When she had learned that her cousin, aunt, and uncle didn’t die the way the police thought they had and they arrested the wrong man, she knew she had to make things right. “It won’t be ideal, but I’m not about to get waylaid or distracted again. My family deserves justice.”
“I’m not refuting your commitment, but how can we possibly investigate two cases?”
Kelsey knew they would have an uphill battle, but her determination didn't waver. “We cannot do much about Paul Washburg until we have more evidence on him or he does something that we can try and pin on him. This fire maybe our key to putting him away. If he made a mistake, we would find it. Meanwhile, I want us to get everything we can find in my family’s case. I know the original paper file burned in a fire, but we have the names of the original investigators and the witnesses they spoke to; we can talk to them, and it may shed some light on new evidence. I think they just wanted it to be Daniel Richardson. They found his fingerprints, and he didn’t have an alibi, so they went after him until he confessed. I’m wondering if there is a copy of the that taped confession somewhere.”
Nikki walked over to her keyboard and made a few entries. “If there is a way to find it, I’ll find it.”
“I know you will, that’s why I want you helping me,” Kelsey said, smiling down at the concentration on Nikki’s face.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else but with you. We’ll figure out a way to get Paul Washburg, and we’ll figure out what happened to Aisling, and your aunt and uncle. It may not be easy, but I’ll do everything I can to find what we need.”
Kelsey smiled. How did she get so lucky to have Nicole Hyland in her life? Thinking of being so fortunate, Kelsey thought back about the other reason why she was tired this morning. She and Miranda stayed up discussing their wedding plans and somehow ended up entangled in each other’s limbs and the bedding. “I’m one lucky woman,” she said squeezing Nikki’s shoulder. “I’m not sure what I did to deserve being so, but whatever it was it must have been something pretty big to have such wonderful women in my life.”
Nikki chuckled. “I think being as patient as you were all your life may have had something to do with it.”
Patience? Kelsey thought about that for a moment and then realized Nikki was making a dig about the celibate life she led before she met Miranda. “You think you're funny don’t ya? It wasn’t celibacy it was a choice to remain focused, besides I lived vicariously through you all these years, and the drama your exploits created.”
Nikki leaned back and laughed heartily. “Touché, Mack, touché.”
Chapter Five
Cold Case Behavioral Unit Offices, Pittsburgh, PA, January 10, 2012
The next several days had been a whirlwind of activity. Frank Montgomery officially announced the birth of a new FBI investigation unit and named Kelsey it’s Unit Chief. Even with her official title of Cold Case Behavioral Unit Chief, Kelsey would still be active field Senior Special Agent Kelsey MacGregor. During the days leading up to and after the unit’s official creation, Torres kept Kelsey and Nikki apprised of the unfolding situation in D.C. and Kelsey and Nikki set up the new office in Pittsburgh. Kelsey found the perfect location in an older building that needed some work, but she knew between herself and Nikki, they could get it ready for the state-of-the-art technological masterpieces Nikki had in mind to fill her new office. Kelsey wanted an office that would allow her to sit and think, but Nikki wanted all the latest and best innovations in computer marvels and forensic gadgets. Nikki said that if they were going to be this far away from Quantico and the Lab, she needed to be able to do most of the basics. Kelsey cringed hearing this because she had to get it all authorized with the Finance Division. Being more than just a field agent meant she had the added responsibilities of answering to the other divisional heads above her in the FBI hierarchy.
Although Kelsey chomped at the bit to begin investigating her family’s murder case, she had to put the brakes on until she could get the office ready, and to prepare Nanna, and her family for the bombshell she knew wouldn’t go over well for most of them. Kelsey’s grandmother and father were dead set against her re-opening the murder. Nanna continually said that Aisling, Cat, and Ethan deserved to rest in peace, and her father told her that the case was closed, and meddling in it would only ruffle some important feathers in government. The District attorney who signed off on the guilty plea was now a Senator, and the Lead Detective had moved up the ranks and is now Police Chief of the Pittsburgh Bureau of Police. He warned Kelsey that if she wanted to work in Pittsburgh, she didn’t want to upset the apple cart before even getting started. Two politically-connected men could make her life difficult if she didn’t leave well enough alone. Kelsey wasn’t about to take her father’s advice without questioning the motives; Kelsey’s father didn’t like political waves to cause ripples of discontent.
Nikki said she’d wait until Kelsey had time to sit down and tell her what happened that fateful night in September 1990. Kelsey both eagerly awaited the moment as much as she dreaded it; retelling the story would be like reliving it all over again. The only people she had told the entire story to were her father, her grandmother, and Miranda. Her father thought it was the fanciful ravings of a teenage girl with too much time on her hands and a perchance for mystery/thriller novels. He blamed it on all the time she spent with Nanna. Nanna never believed that Kelsey remembered what she saw in her visions were real and told Kelsey that more than likely they were mixed up with dreams and imagination. Nanna’s assessment of Kelsey’s renditions of that night’s events hurt more than her father’s because Nanna had always advocated for Kelsey’s gift giving the young girl more insight into the world around her. Nanna saying Kelsey’s visions were false made Kelsey doubt her ability, and in time this would make the eighteen-year-old Kelsey MacGregor
bury her gift inside a shell of anger and mistrust. She learned to hate her gift for not being able to help prevent the tragic deaths of her mother, aunt, uncle, and cousin. If her gift could not predict or prevent a terrible event, she didn’t want it. Miranda had been the only person to believe Kelsey about her memories of visions of what occurred that fateful night.
***
Miranda smiled from the inside out. She had been trying, without success to clear her mind of all thoughts — memories taking her back to earlier this morning in a warm cocoon of arms and legs. Kelsey woke her up, eager to get up for her morning run, but Miranda pinned Kelsey to the bed and coerced her to stay in bed a little while longer. Shaking her head, Miranda again tried to use her breath to empty all thoughts from her head. Once again, the image of Kelsey’s smiling face and the sensations her hands, mouth, and fingers had created in her body took her back. “Arghh,” she growled.
These past few weeks were filled with Miranda and Kelsey settling into Nanna’s house and celebrating the holidays together. On their return from Fiji, Kelsey had insisted they move into Nanna’s house immediately. Miranda was more than eager to get away from D. C. and all the unpleasantness that had occurred there. Kelsey told her that she could communicate with Nikki and Torres if there were any more developments. Miranda was immensely happy that Kelsey wanted to spend more time with her, but she was also eager to work on editing her newest book as well.
Settling into Nanna’s house brought a whole new set of challenges for Miranda as once they walked in through the door, Nanna rushed her off to attempt to plan the couple’s approaching nuptials. Eager to wed Kelsey, but the need to settle things with Jess on her book and repair their wounded friendship, created so many distractions Miranda had to deal with first. Kelsey wanted to get married in New York on New Year’s Eve; then she thought they should fly to Paris and wed on Valentine’s Day. Both options were exciting and romantic but made Miranda nervous because they would involve more flying and she had only just recovered from their trip to Fiji. With Nanna’s help, Miranda had convinced Kelsey to wait until June or July when the garden would be in full bloom with Summer blossoms. Miranda wanted to have their wedding surrounded by Kelsey’s family especially Nanna, who may not be able to fly to one of Kelsey’s romantic destinations. Not having any family of her own made Miranda crave to have a strong family-unit around her.
Stretching her neck and shoulders, Miranda closed her eyes and focused on her breath. She tried one more time to shut all thoughts out and welcome the calming effect of the deep breathing on her tense body and mind. She visualized her front body meeting her back body within the breath and rooting her pelvis down to her yoga mat. Lifting her chest, straightening her core, and imaging a line from her head drawing her whole body up towards the ceiling. Concentrating on her breath filling her belly, and then emptying taking the tension with it. Miranda sighed heavily. Finally, her mind was empty of interfering thoughts, and she could enjoy a deep yoga practice, her mouth automatically turned up on its ends.
***
Miranda had been working on editing her book for hours, and now tried to relax the tension in her neck and shoulders. Needing to remember to stop frequently, so that she didn’t get cramps in her hands, or neck as she closely perused her work, wasn’t as easy as it should be. Miranda found it difficult to stop when she was on a roll with reading and correcting grammatical and spelling mistakes in her newest book. Writing her book was an easy task. After she had sent it off to Jess and the editing team, she wasn’t able to sit idly by while they picked apart her work. She liked to read it and look for mistakes herself. Over the years, Miranda learned that not allowing her brain a rest after writing, kept her mind sharp, and able to search for improvements she could make in her initial draft.
Closing her eyelids, Miranda felt the natural moisture return to bathe her dry eyes. The ringing of her phone suddenly brought Miranda out of her revelry. Opening her eyes slowly, she frowned at the offending piece of electronics. Knowing Kelsey was busy with Nikki today, the only person who would be calling her would be Jess Harrington. Although Miranda was eager to heal the damage Jess’s lies and deceit had on their friendship, she also felt more hurt some days and didn’t want to suffer through another awkward conversation with the woman, who both hurt her and saved her the most in her life. Knowing that ignoring the call and letting it go to voicemail would only worry Jess, Miranda reached out and tapped the accept icon. “Hello, Jess. What can I help you with today?” Miranda said as evenly as she could. She knew that her voice sounded stiff and the choice of her words may have been more open, and friendly, but it is, what it is today. Miranda was tired of trying to be nice when she didn’t feel like it.
There was a long pause, and then Jess sighed deeply. “I’m sorry. Did I interrupt your work or your yoga?”
Frowning more deeply, Miranda wished she had answered the phone more brightly. Now she would have to try and appease Jess’s hurt feelings and explain that it wasn’t the call that made Miranda sound less than welcoming. “Jess, I’m just edgy today. I haven’t been able to concentrate on much. I think it’s the warmer than normal weather today that is making me want to go out and enjoy the sun.”
“What is stopping you? I told you before that you really should trust in our editors to work their magic on the work you sent them. They can handle it, and you should relax before it’s time to make the changes or edits they send you back. Although most times the changes are minor.”
Miranda tried to relax the tension in her shoulders again. Pulling her shoulder up to her ears as she took in a deep breath and then letting them fall with her released exhale. “You know I cannot do that. I’m a control freak, and if it were not for you, I’d be doing all the editing myself. I don’t like someone picking apart my work and then making suggestions on how to improve it.”
Jess’s tight giggle seemed awkward. She cleared her throat before saying, “I know all too well how much a control freak you are, but that’s why we make such a good pair…” Jess didn’t speak for several seconds after her voice trailed off.
Miranda thought it was best to try and cut through the tension. “Jess, it’s going to take time. I’m still hurting some days. I try not to think about what you did, but it keeps coming back that you intentionally kept me away from Kelsey. In doing so, you hurt Kelsey, and that pain cuts me deeply when I look at her. I imagine everything your lies put her and me through, and it’s going to take time for me to forgive you fully.”
Jess’s sharp intake of breath cut through the silence on her end. “But you can forgive me. I would not be able to handle it if you could not. I missed you during the holidays; this was the first year we didn’t spend it together.”
Miranda thought about everything she and Jess had been through over the years and her earlier annoyance dissipated slightly. I’m sorry, but you have to understand why I needed to be here. Kelsey and her family embraced me, with open arms.
“Yes, I understand but I…”
Miranda closed her eyes; she heard the pain in Jess’s words. “I wanted to invite you, but I wasn’t sure you would behave. Kelsey said she forgave you, but I still need more time. Time to sort through this hurt, and deal with my feelings…”
“I’m happy that Kelsey could forgive me, it’s torn me up to think I hurt her and you. How are you two doing?”
Miranda sighed.
“Please Randi, I’m genuinely concerned about your relationship. I may not have been able to see it before, because all I could see was how she endangered you, but I hear the way you talk about her and know the love you feel is different than anything you felt for anyone else before her.”
Smiling, Miranda felt that love fill every cell of her being. She had never felt this much love for anyone before, and sure she would never have it for anyone else again. “It sometimes amazes me how deeply I fell in love with her in such a short period. I feel like I have known her my whole life, and she’s been waiting for me to come back after
being away for a long time.”
Jess giggled, this time the sounded less stiff, it bubbled forth with more mirth. “Well, it showed in your recent work. I haven’t read it all yet, but what I have, it’s intense. I don’t think I have ever read more poignant words. The primal passion is evident between Maria and Kristen. I’ve had to take short breaks because I was certain I’d burst into flames reading your words. Then there is the raw emotion they evoke; I find myself crying as I read about how intensely they love one another. I know your fans are going to be overcome reading it also. We’ll have yet another bestseller in no time.”
Miranda knew how it felt writing those words, and reading them also drew out the raw emotions in herself. “I was worried my readers might not like the turn I have taken in this book. Nanna explained to me how souls find one another after being separated by time and space. In Gaelic beliefs, the Anam Charaid is your soul-friend or mate; without finding that person, one felt lost and disconnected from themselves. I never understood that feeling until I met Kelsey. Nanna explained to me that I am Kelsey’s Anam Charaid. That’s why I wanted to use that name for this book.”
“I don’t think your fans will be upset. On the contrary, they’re going to want to hear more about Maria and Kristen. You may have stumbled upon a series.”
Frowning, Miranda had always tried to stay away from series because they saddled you with more pressure than one wanted to have when writing books. She never wanted her fans or editors to dictate what she wrote, but a series would mean that her readers deserved to know the next chapter in the story she began with her previous book. “I’m not making any promises, but I do enjoy writing about Maria and Kristen’s love, it mirrors my own with Kelsey so much.”
Jess laughed loudly. “Oh really, I never would have guessed.”
Chapter Six